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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:58:15 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


What happened to the days when people were sane and could enjoy sex without all the moral hangups?

_____________________________

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There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to katsmeow)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 6:00:46 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


What happened to the days when people were sane and could enjoy sex without all the moral hangups?


What days  ? This hardly ever happens in our Judeo-Christian culture, made nearly exclusively of moral hangups. As it were.

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 6:03:55 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


What happened to the days when people were sane and could enjoy sex without all the moral hangups?


heh.. those days have never stopped, for me! *grin*

Dawn..love the new avatar :)

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 6:12:49 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		OP; there are many men in this lifestyle (and even on this site) who are very respectful of others' morals, and who are looking for the same thing as you.
Of course, when you're a pretty girl and you're on a kink site you're also going to get some wankers who can't take 'no' for an answer. That is why we have the 'block' button.
I have found it best just to ignore those who don't respect my values enough to respect my boundaries.
Just make it clear in your profile that you don't play around, are looking for something different from casual play, and that if the person contacting you cannot be respectful not to expect a reply.
You have to read a lot of c-mail to find the good ones, but there are a lot out there.
Good luck!

~Christina

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 6:21:37 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		It isn’t a matter of morals but one of upholding your own personal standards. As you have found, not everyone has the same standards, but that doesn’t make you good, doesn’t make them bad.  It is about compatibility. 
You held firm to your values and that should make you proud. 
Prude is only a negative word if you allow it to have that power. 

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 6:27:28 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I agree with your 'good doesn't make them bad'; but, hasn't anyone considered, just for a moment that sexuality and morality have been linked together for...uhm...probably since Eve tasted the apple.
I understand that people can feel they can play casually and have morals.
I also understand that some people *might* call that immoral.
In fact, there are probably many who would.
I think the OP asked a legitimate question but was pounced on for her choice of words.
I also think it's ok for her to consider people playing outside of a committed relationship immoral.
And why does it matter if that's her opinion?
I don't think she was trying to pass judgment on most of us here...I think she was frustrated and wanted to know if it is even possible to find people who have the same values as she does.


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A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 7:21:48 AM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


I think this may be the root of the problem, actually.  Namely, that you are laboring under the illusion that days like these ever existed, as my only real answer to this question is "Well, they stopped when humans evolved".

This kind of behavior always has been, and always will be, quite prevalent barring major changes in reality.

Likewise, I echo some of the other posters in saying that people are not sane or are not moral because they want a casual fling is pretty judgmental; you come across as either very narrow-minded or a troll, and this is from someone who happens to prefer longer-term things as well!

Enjoy.


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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 7:25:10 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Mmmm I'm not Judeo Christian what ever that is. I'm also moraly corrupt. I have had sex on the first date. Several times. Op put me on your ignore list. The rest of you igone what I told the op.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 7:30:11 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		ok some generalisations.
Sexual compatability seems to be important for a lot of  men.
Some BDSM 'play' is sexual.
Lots of people want to be part of a monogomous couple which includes sex and BDSM.
Profiles are not always honest about what BDSM is about for the particular individual.
It's difficult to be absolutely honest if you don't know yourself.
Different mindsets about sex abound.
I'm continually accused of being judgemental about others sexual habits.
There are reasons for that. Any one who knows anything about abuse will understand them.
I want to try and help people to look before they leap into sex.
Lots of men do not respect women who rush into sex but it's ok for them to do so.
'Prude' and 'slut' are emotive words. I was called a slut the other day it hurt.
Some submissive people are taught to be 'sluts' by their Dominants.
To pervert means to corrupt.
If you pervert someones sexuality and then leave them just think how much harm you have done them. Again I know because it happened to me.
If you treat someone without respect for long enough they will find it very hard to hold onto respect for themselves.
I'm already damaged but I hope I can help others not to become so.
So in my opinion it's better to be called a prude and retain your self respect than risk becoming a slut and losing it.
Naively enough I thought people in the 'lifestyle' were 'better' more caring people.
Looks like I might have been wrong again.



(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 8:09:13 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDirty

So you expect all people too call a person a prude or talk bad about them because they will not do a thing that they feel in there heart is immoral.  I think the guy is a fucking pig too be honest.   Maybe I am reading what she wrote wrong, but from what I gathered, the guys posted a nasty journal because he felt she was being a prude because she felt like an activity that she clearly feels is maybe not so much immoral, but I feel should not just be done, or shown too just anyone.


I expect nothing personally.  I don't make expectations of people I do not know.  I make assumptions - and they aren't always right - but I don't expect anything from anyone who has no baring on my life - and I particularly do not expect BDSM peeps to be any different from people outside of wiitwd - because we (generic) come from there.
 
Her 'mistake' is to expect BDSM and people who practise it to be morally or ethically cool according to her world.  It isn't.  It's just as fucked up with fucked up people like all walks of life.
 
I read her post as someone who is whining on - about some prat who we don't know - as if we are supposed to care or be all up in arms about it.  She then goes on to claim that because she has morals - whatever they may be - that those who do not have the same thought process as her must ergo be immoral.
 
I challenge her that being safe is purely subjective.  That playing constitutes opening ones legs?  Er - no.  Wrong again.
 
Maybe the guy was an asshole - who knows?  But her first course of action is to report him misusing her name in a journal entry.  Her second is to forget him and move on.
 
People play on first dates and people have sex on first dates and just because it might not fit her preference, doesn't make those people immoral and doesn't make them wrong - just different to her.  But making expectations of anyone when you are neither owned by or belong to someone is just naive and presumptuous.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 8:25:09 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		 
 
I can think of many morals that have nothing to do with sex---theft for example.
The story of Robin Hood made stealing from the rich a ‘noble’ cause.  Whether his actions were moral or not depend on one’s point of view.  But the bottom line to that tale is that he was firm in his conviction that he was right to do what he did and was not deterred by those who called him thief.  He acknowledged that he was a thief, but had the courage to continue to do what he felt was called for.
Standards of morality change all the time.  Until the American Civil War, only prostitutes wore panties; ‘virtuous’ women did not.  I wonder sometimes how that changed and how many women were derided for their choice?
All I’m saying here is that if we hold ourselves to certain rules of conduct we can expect some peer pressure to try to change us.  It all boils down to what’s important to us; acceptance from others or from ourselves.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 9:10:01 AM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		I think the OP was stung by the journal entry, and the thread was started as a knee-jerk reaction. Unfortunately, once a thread is started, it takes on a life of its own, and when one has had second thoughts about having posted it, it is too late.

To me, morals are so much more than the act of sexual intercourse. A person who is meticulous about not having sex or waiting just so long before doing so, may still be immoral in my eyes because of other activities that may not even involve me. It's all in my opinion, of course. I do not 'out' the person for following a different set of standards from mine, but if I see that a friend is about to find themselves in a dangerous situation, I will say something privately to that friend.

As for the journal entry - remember that you can learn much more about a person's character by what they say about others than you can by what others say about them.

pip, my profile is very clear about what I want, and I don't get emails. C'est la vie

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 9:12:28 AM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		To answer your question, it is possible to keep your morals intact and still be in this lifestyle.  However, it's very common for people to "just want play."  There was never a time in history where people were all sane and didn't want to fuck anything that moved.  I can certainly understand your frustration, though.  I will play at a dungeon with someone I feel comfortable with, but it doesn't mean I'm going to fuck them.  It doesn't even mean I'd see them outside of that environment.  I take private "play" more seriously.  Just remember that you don't have to do anything you don't want to, but don't judge others for doing what they're comfortable with.

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 9:20:02 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Morals?

Which ones?  Marriages full of misery, deceit, and disappointment?  Chastity till marriage?  No ass to mouth on the first date?

Seriously, morality is a social construct of the times and has less to do with morals than supporting institutions.  Being open and honest with people, being considerate with others, having compassion and empathy would be far better goals than some artificial morality.

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 9:24:44 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


What happened to the days when people were sane and could enjoy sex without all the moral hangups?


What days  ? This hardly ever happens in our Judeo-Christian culture, made nearly exclusively of moral hangups. As it were.


My point exactly!!!!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 9:26:27 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


What happened to the days when people were sane and could enjoy sex without all the moral hangups?


heh.. those days have never stopped, for me! *grin*

Dawn..love the new avatar :)


You go girl!
 
and thanks - it has recieved mixed reactions but it fits these days

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 9:28:37 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

. I'm also moraly corrupt. I have had sex on the first date. Several times.


You are now on MY blocked list - i could never associate with anyone so morally corrupt...never!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 9:29:44 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Morals?

Which ones?  Marriages full of misery, deceit, and disappointment?  Chastity till marriage?  No ass to mouth on the first date?

Seriously, morality is a social construct of the times and has less to do with morals than supporting institutions.  Being open and honest with people, being considerate with others, having compassion and empathy would be far better goals than some artificial morality.


Michael i agree with you 100%~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 9:33:49 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		morally corrupt??? pfft...who isnt..

katsmeow.... here kitty kity kitty....hottie hottie hottie...

meow...meow...meow....i have treats for you....




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I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 9:37:04 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Dear fellow Floridian,
I see nothing wrong with waiting until a second date when there is a good supply of edible body paint.  Some “prudes” even wait until a third date.  Imagine that… LOL
 
I don’t know the circumstances of what happened with you but if you make your first play dates in a situation where sex inconvenient, it may avoid confusion or mixed messages with people that normally choose to have casual sex with their BDSM on first dates.  There are a lot of BDSM societies that hold play parties in public dungeons where sex is forbidden as part of house the rules. 
 
Best Wishes,
Kalon Eric

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I give good thread.

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Profile   Post #: 60
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