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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 10:02:25 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader
heh.. those days have never stopped, for me! *grin*

Dawn..love the new avatar :)


You go girl!
 
and thanks - it has recieved mixed reactions but it fits these days


you're blue these days?? why??

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 11:20:44 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

clodivs
I found it amusing that a bunch of people apparently thought that you were calling them immoral, when all you wanted to ask was if it's possible for someone to keep his/her personal morals intact.  The reality of life is people have different moral standards, and 'immorality' is the excuse people use to try to dictate your actions, and I didn't see you trying to do that to anyone.

As far as the main thrust of your question, yes, it's possible, but most people, especially when you're looking online and on dating/networking sites, really do want a quick fuck.  Don't burden yourself overly over what others say; the assholes may be everywhere out there, but that doesn't mean they're better than you.  Keep your eyes open and pay attention to what people say; eventually you'll find someone you can live with.


Excellent post.  




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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 12:32:31 PM   
katsmeow


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline 		Okay, so let me clear a couple things up; (1) I am not a prude, (2) I never called anyone here morally corrupt, if you took my comment about my morals to have anything to do with you, I apologize and (3) I still do not understand why it is okay in this life to be, to put it politely, overly active with relative strangers, but if I did not want a collar around my neck and did the same things, I'd be branded dirty\STD-ridden, etc. Number three was the direction of my first post, as I was just completely lost that I was attacked and branded just because NSA play wasn't something that I felt maintained my character.
 
Finally, as for the bits about unhappy marriages, that had absolutely nothing to do with anything that was said, and now would be a good time to come off of that soap box.  =]

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 2:03:33 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I could be mistaken, but I think a lot of the comments were directed toward the fact that for a lot of folks, play doesn't exactly equal sex.

I can promise you, the chance of Me picking up an STD from a flogger are almost next to nothing.  Guess I'll have to get condoms for all of the toys I use to beat people with.


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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 2:22:43 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maisy10

I totally agree with you, Katsmeow. Its gets me down sometimes because sometimes this lifestyle or site seems like one big porn show.


I certainly don't get that.   I must be looking in the wrong place.  

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 2:26:31 PM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

  
What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


I've been around a very long time, and I don't remember those days...................

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 2:31:21 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow
(3) I still do not understand why it is okay in this life to be, to put it politely, overly active with relative strangers, but if I did not want a collar around my neck and did the same things, I'd be branded dirty\STD-ridden, etc.


Well I don't know who would "brand" you with that - maybe you need different friends?  In the online world, BDSM sites are no different than non-BDSM sites for familiarity with strangers.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 2:45:37 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

 (2) I never called anyone here morally corrupt, if you took my comment about my morals to have anything to do with you, I apologize and (3) I still do not understand why it is okay in this life to be, to put it politely, overly active with relative strangers,


2-  You said and I quote

quote:


the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?


Why is people wanting to 'just' play morally questionable? whats wrong with that? The fact that you got someones back up and they got your back up doesnt mean that its 'wrong' to want play without emotional attachement. How you have gone from that to in your most recent post equating wanting play to be considered STD ridden is totally beyond me, there isnt a link as has been said intercourse and BDSM DONT always go hand in hand.

3- why isnt it ok? you are annoyed that someone has judged you as a prude for not wanting to play and now you are juding them for wanting to? Are you expecitng vindication here because you wont get it. As you say you dont feel that play without emotions is right for you, just as others want play without strings, why is your choice any more valid?

< Message edited by colouredin -- 4/14/2008 2:46:13 PM >

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 2:56:30 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

So, I don't post a lot, but something is really bothering me more and more on here. The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?
 
I talked to someone today who wrote a nasty journal entry about me, because I'm apparently prude. Just because I don't want to take my clothes off and play with a stranger I just met? I call that being safe... But really, my point of view on this is, play being like a vanilla second date, the initial one is a nice dinner, and second one is bringing over edible body paint and licking it off of one another's nude bodies with no emotional connection. I don't deny that there are exceptions to this, but really, is it that common?
 
What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


Poor thing..."this Lifestyle" is really fucked up when it comes to wanting to play immediately....

It is alwauys refreshing to go to a Cub's game and watching the crowd pour into the bars at it's conclusion....It's soooo cool that the majority of the people are discussiong the probability of finding a LTR and are not looking to rush into anything. As the drinks flow it is not uncommon to hear me talking to some hottie about my long term goals and ambitions....I always ask if they like kids and how often they attend church.

People out here are really fucked up...They approach a sub with the same compassion that they approach the McDonald's dollar menu....

Come to Chicago...We will hang out at a Cub's game...Get to know each other in depth...I won't even look at your tits or make you get up to get me a drink....I'm looking for something long term like everyone else around.


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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 3:06:05 PM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		OP - this is CollarMe. It isn't one of those electronic matchmaker services (I hesitate to use the name of any particular site in case it's against TOS). Quite frankly, I find the prospects here better because I can see what people think and say about a variety of subjects before I contact them. Because it is not "guided" and because it's free, there are going to be a large number of people here who do not have the same approach to relationships (or liaisons, if you will) as you do. It goes with the territory.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

pip, 50 matches so far, and not one of them has contacted me

*edited to make sense

< Message edited by Poetryinpain -- 4/14/2008 3:08:11 PM >

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 3:16:58 PM   
KCherry


Posts: 2264
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: Send Help, Fla.
Status: offline 		Also, I think you could only be labeled as dirty or STD ridden if you allowed such. Frankly, if anyone tried to label me as such I would laugh at the stupidity and no longer associate with them. It's their loss, I have lots of friends. As many have said already, morals are strictly the point of view of each person and what they find acceptable in their own hierarchy of ethics. If people with a different scope of acceptable ethical behavior bother or make you uncomfortable you can remove yourself from the situation.

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 3:19:15 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Come to Chicago...We will hang out at a Cub's game...Get to know each other in depth...I won't even look at your tits or make you get up to get me a drink....I'm looking for something long term like everyone else around.


Okay, we need to organize a rescue mission.  Someone has broken in domiguy's place and they have him bound and gagged and are making him watch them type lovey-dovey shit on his computer.  Oh, it must be pure agony for him!  The horror!

Cali
(You can tell it's not domiguy because he didn't use the word 'gash' at all)


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 3:31:47 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

OP; there are many men in this lifestyle (and even on this site) who are very respectful of others' morals, and who are looking for the same thing as you.
Of course, when you're a pretty girl and you're on a kink site you're also going to get some wankers who can't take 'no' for an answer. That is why we have the 'block' button.
I have found it best just to ignore those who don't respect my values enough to respect my boundaries.
Just make it clear in your profile that you don't play around, are looking for something different from casual play, and that if the person contacting you cannot be respectful not to expect a reply.
You have to read a lot of c-mail to find the good ones, but there are a lot out there.
Good luck!

~Christina
[/quote

you go girl!!!!!!

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 3:49:00 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Have you ever wondered where morals come from?  For the longest time my morals matched those of my parents and my church. I didn't much question them, they were just how i judged myself and others.  Notice that word judged.   Nasty word isn't it?

Once i took some initiative and did some reading on religions in general, and thought some about my own spirituality, and how the church i attended made its money by scaring people into placating some ominous GOD who would do us wrong at the drop of a hat, i realised that my morals were nothing but a reflection of how i had been taught to feel.

My morals have changed through the years to reflect how i feel about spirituality and religion. No i don't have sex with every man who wants to , but likewise , I don't look down or judge someone who does. Their sense of morality may not even encompass sex, seeing sex as something not even needing to be addressed as a moral issue.   Morality to me is an evolving matter, not written in stone, but in my heart and intellect  and allows for differences in others.

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:03:39 PM   
Mugiwara


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDirty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDirty

ORIGINAL: colouredin

ORIGINAL: BigDirty
That is not what BDSM is about.


So you feel that BDSM is about telling someone they are a prude cause the will not take your clothes off???



Er no.
BDSM is an acronym.  No more. No less.
However - expecting BDSM peeps to be any different from people outside of wiitwd is living in la-la land.  Making the statement that it is immoral to be anything you don't desire and pushing that on others when complaining about being pressured oneself is pot-kettle-black.
 
Creating a box and trying to stand outside when you have become part of it by making the box is - well - a joke.
.andnotaveryfunnyone.
 
the.dark.


So you expect all people too call a person a prude or talk bad about them because they will not do a thing that they feel in there heart is immoral.  I think the guy is a fucking pig too be honest.   Maybe I am reading what she wrote wrong, but from what I gathered, the guys posted a nasty journal because he felt she was being a prude because she felt like an activity that she clearly feels is maybe not so much immoral, but I feel should not just be done, or shown too just anyone.

I wouldn't be with someone who based their moral code on what "they felt in their heart" is immoral. There's a serious lack of critical thinking going on there, in my opinion.

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:11:19 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		OP, Kat, I feel what you're saying and understand what you're saying. Though I'd suggest giving up now because yours words seem to fall on deaf ears.

People are jerks on this site just like everywhere else in the world; the lifestyle doesn't make people any less shitty. Best to just ignore the shit and look for the good ones hiding and lurking about.

If someone thinks your a prude just ignore it, the same if someone thinks your a slut; whatever. They're just words on a computer from strangers who can't affect you.

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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:41:10 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		OP.
   You have morals and are upset men are contacting you wanting to have sexual relations with you.... let me make a sugesstion...
   Take out the picture that shows your boobs a good a moral person shouldnt put her breasts on display as such...Take out the photos where you are blowing kisses at the camera...
   Look men suck, but you tease them, and you flaunt things at them, then tell them " Im not in it for the sex" its like danging a steak infront of a starving puppy. What do you think the dogs going to do when you pull the meat away. Go Oh.. Okay, Ill just go lay over there and starve.
   Ive played on my first meet, Ive had sex on my first meet of a person. Why? Simply because I felt safe to do as such with them because of the knowledge I learned about them over the phone and online. It doesnt make me a whore. It makes me an adult, enjoying adult things with another adult. No offense but the terms slut, prude, dont really matter. Honestly look at it men are allowed to be with as many women as they please with out it being a problem. Why should it be different for a woman? ....-mouth shut on that one-... Anywho if words bother you your going to have to grow a tougher skin. Personally I enjoy being called a slut... ^_^;; its a right of kitten time passage and I can still count the number of partners with the fingers on one hand...

Now Ill go over into the corner and eat my pudding and keep my mouth shut for now...


_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:45:53 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
Ive had sex on my first meet of a person. Why? Simply because I felt safe to do as such with them because of the knowledge I learned about them over the phone and online


Christ ive had sex with people ive met in bars just an hour before,  mind you i am a slut



< Message edited by colouredin -- 4/14/2008 5:46:44 PM >

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:53:26 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Tsk tsk  .

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:54:06 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
Ive had sex on my first meet of a person. Why? Simply because I felt safe to do as such with them because of the knowledge I learned about them over the phone and online


Christ ive had sex with people ive met in bars just an hour before,  mind you i am a slut




*snicker*  and one more reason why I adore you! :)


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 80
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