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RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 4:26:47 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
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I wondered this, when I first got here. Shortly after I arrived there was a 19 year old that came in, complaining about people not being “real”. You can imagine how well that went over. I suddenly had a whole new outlook on the posters here.

What did I do? I believe it was the first thread I ever posted; I asked, in perhaps, a not so obvious way, “If I came in here with a problem, would I be flamed for my foolishness”?

No one actually came out and answered my question with words, but they all showed me something. As long as I was sincere and remained civil; they would too.

Their bark is much worse then their bite. And many really do care; no matter what they say.

k

_____________________________

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There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

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Post #: 21

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 4:43:44 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

MoGa,
If it's any consulation i'm fairly convinced i'm truly insane today...... i understand Your fear regarding being judged or attacked. Actually i went through that recently with a situation that was killing me inside my head and honestly once i posted about it...It lost all it's power... Some people did judge me, some people were JAMFers who need to get a brain, but all in all the old adage is true: Share a problem, it cuts the problem in half.....
i'm here if You ever want or need to talk.
Kali
Who's soooo nonjudgemental she has no idea how to judge some people

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 22

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 4:49:55 PM

atursvcMaam

Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline

You are not alone, Ma'am. Hugs, and if it helps any, an ear to bend on this side or the other. i have always enjoyed Your posts, and kept You in my prayers when You were not doing well, and was quite amused and touched as Your pup started bouncing about when You were feeling better. i only bite at those who say something with an apparent intent to insult others. You might not know me well, and i did not make anyone's crush list (boo-hoo), but i am really good to vent to if needed. please feel free either on the other side or here. (but i do think we are all dying of curiosity now, and are all pulling for You). i hope that You sleep or have slept well.
Hugs and smiles.

< Message edited by atursvcMaam -- 4/25/2008 4:52:50 PM >

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 23

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 5:12:45 PM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

MoGa, my dear, you are most definitely not alone! There are any number of us here who hold you in our hearts and have done so for quite some time. We know what you have been going through - or rather we know what you have posted about what you have gone through.

How could we possibly judge you? Of all the people in the world, we are the last to judge anyone's kink. You don't, however, have to air it publicly. You know who your really dear friends are, and you know that everyone who loves you (and I mean that word) is available to you to help you get through whatever is bothering you.

pip, praying for you

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to atursvcMaam)

Post #: 24

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 5:19:11 PM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

Im here ... or in Cmail or on the phone anytime ... and its also ok NOT to share with me

Im here and your friend like it or not ..... and it doesnt matter what you share or choose not to share .... it doesnt change my feelings about you or for you

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to Poetryinpain)

Post #: 25

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 5:19:53 PM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

MoGa, I'd like to add one more thing. It's hard to believe that someone as you appear to be has no true friends, as you claim. True friends are rare and hard to make. Yes, make... it is, of course, a two way street,by it's very nature. But, ,I'm sure, someone like you has at least a few. I can tell. We Switches are quite sensitive, yanno.

You have your pup, as he has said here, and, I'm sure, a few others. Sometimes, we do feel all alone, but, is that really so ?

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

(in reply to atursvcMaam)

Post #: 26

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 7:10:04 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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I love that Emerald is still remembered :)

I will also clarify that while I won't bring real problems here, I will bring real questions, which may have been provoked by real life stuff.

Real problems are what friends are for- and I don't consider online discussion forums to be where friends congregate and have their discussions (except on the offtopic forums).

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 27

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 8:45:36 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

MoGA,

What catches my inner ear most about your post is the title -- mama is depressed, ain't she?

I have my moments (and days) there. It is excrutiating. You have all my empathy. (smiling my squishiest smile and wishing I could squeeze you) When I'm in that headspace at night, sleeping really does help, because morning is better for my mood. Call someone you know (even if they don't feel like a friend), give yourself a distracting activity, change your focus and see if that helps. Let that boy 'o yours give you some lovin'.

Loneliness is a part of the human condition. It's part of being an reflective, feeling person. And I bet that the people posting on your thread have all felt that. So here you are ... alone ... with these other people who have felt lonely. So you're not alone!

As to posting ... if this is something close to your heart and tender, share it with people who will care for you and be kind to you as you need. Maybe you will decide to share it on the boards. Maybe you will email to people privately.

I hope this helps,
MSS

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--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 28

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 8:59:03 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

We all have issues and kinks that might be frowned upon. My entire relationship with Angel is one I know is not exactly welcomed with open arms by most. If I need real help with something, though, I do not hesitate to ask. The ones who are civil and helpful get me the assistance I need, and the others can go shove their negativity..well, im sure theres a kink for that too.
When I have an actual problem, I put it here mianly becasue I respect the opinions of a good number of the posters. I ignore those who are obviously looking just to rattle someones cage, and anyone who doesnt give me something helpful can be overlooked. But, you never know until you ask, and I doubt there are any of us here who do not partake in SOMETHING others "just wouldnt understand".

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 29

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 9:42:40 PM

CNJDom

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
Status: offline

MoGa, I 'm aware that you wouldn't know me from Adam really, but I am a good listener and will do so objectively as well as open-minded. I haven't posted as much as others have, but I can listen and try to do what is needed or such. I have experience in the "Listening Profession", and it is obvious that you are in an emotional conflict and doing some suffering. We all want to help...This may not be the place for something NOS, but it seems that nearly everyone here really don't care about NOS right now with the way you're feeling. Hope you choose someone that will see you through this situation clearly... It's nice to see so many come to your aid, and I'm more than happy to add my name to that list as well. Take care.... span.jajahWrapper { font-size:1em; color:#B11196; text-decoration:underline; } a.jajahLink { color:#000000; text-decoration:none; } span.jajahInLink:hover { background-color:#B11196; }

< Message edited by CNJDom -- 4/25/2008 9:59:07 PM >

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Post #: 30

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/25/2008 10:55:19 PM

DisenchantedLife

Posts: 193
Status: offline

You're gonna have to tell us know - we're all very curious! ITs gonna be okay. I've posted tons of stuff over the years here and even if ppl shit on you - its still good to hear it. Even negativity about w/e you're posting is educational.

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I'm pretty sure I've turned into a bitter bitch with a huge shovel. One of these days I'm going to exchange the shovel for a hoe

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Post #: 31

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/26/2008 5:44:36 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Unless your kink includes smearing yourself with plant sterols, reading foreign language books backwards at the top of your lungs and trying to anally rape paperwasps (and not really caring whether or not they sting you)....(I am pretty sure I am alone in this).....

It really doesn't matter who woofs at you, or disparages your dreams out here---

Sooner or later, someone will say; yanno, I accidentally spilled some plant sterols on myself as a child, and----

then another will say; I used to go with a bumblebee in highschool---------

pretty soon people will start unburdening themselves and you're gonna find, you are not alone.

ApiaryMaster

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 32

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/26/2008 6:08:02 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Ron I actually did.

Go out with a Mascot once. It was the Chaparell Stingers Mascot and you guessed it it was an Angry Wasp and well she used to love having sex in her costume.

So I can relate to your kink.

Today I am FAR from being a Furry but I gotta say it was pretty Hot having to move that stinger outts the way when we did it doggy style....... Okay was that sharing too much??

In My youth (which I am still in at 27 thank you) I did some pretty crazy and interesting things. Today we call them Kinky when I was younger I just called it getting laid.

One man's over-the-top is another mans Tuesday.

NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!

Steel

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Post #: 33

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/26/2008 6:11:21 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Exactamente, Steel.

I think MoGa is way overthinking this 'thang' she got going on.....

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 34

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/26/2008 6:13:20 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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Sweet Lady, those who would ridicule You are not worth Your attention. Hell I post all kinds of things on here and if someone has a problem with it... it is THEIR problem and I'm likely to either ignore them or, if I am in that kind of mood, poke em with a stick for amusement and THEN ignore them.

You have MANY people on here who would listen without judgement sweetie, You and I have shared much in discussion over the last coupld of years and you know My mailbox is always open to you.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 35

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/26/2008 6:50:06 AM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

MoGa.. Even if your particular kink isn't one shared by me, I doubt I would blink an eye at this point in my life.
Many of my friends are on the "fringe" of ( or even past) what is considered "normal" even by BDSM standards. Feel free to share, or not share, but please don't feel alone.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 36

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/26/2008 12:50:18 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

Hi everyone,
I have thought about this over the past few hours and I decided to take Em's advice. I am going to share with you, my friends here on collarme, what has been going on with me.

First I would like to ask some questions and they are pretty personal, but I need to know how y'all feel about certain topics. Not that you don't share with the world your personal views on things, but because this is a serious thread, and I want everyone's honest answers.

I am purposely not going to use the word "Abuse", in this thread. I think you will get the picture without that word being over-used here.

1. Do you believe that children learn what they live?

2. If so, do you think that those same children will grow up to be the type of adults that they lived with in their childhood?

3. What if, as an adult, they attempted to go through therapy, long years of therapy? Would that break the cycle of what they learned as children?

This ends the first part of my questions. Now comes the second part, which I think is more important, because it involves the physical reactions when we do wiitwd.

1. Do you have a burning hot sensation in the pit of your stomach when you think of something or someone?

2. Is it a painful feeling that you must have release of, or you feel like you will suffocate from it?

3. When you talk about hurting your sub or your sub talks about wanting- in fact - needing the release that only pain can accomplish, do you feel that burning hot sensation in your stomach? Or do you just feel it, when you have the need to play? Or not feel it at all?

4. If what we do is illegal in most states, if not all, how do you cope with your own kink, when there is no one around to help you put out the fire that lies in your belly? I would like to say, obviously you can not just go out and grab the nearest person that you feel can fulfill your need, but is it that obvious? If what we do is illegal, than what stops you from committing an act against someone who is unwilling and most certainly not consenting to your need?

(You may say because I wouldn't do anything with anyone unless I have their consent)

But..What if you feel you can't stop yourself? Truly dig into your soul for this answer. For it is this answer that I need the most, to be answered with up most honesty.

This is all I can say for right now. I appreciate all the responses, both here and in my c-mail. You have no idea how much it helped me to think about what I really wanted to say and what I feel comfortable talking about.

Please do not assume that I am anything, but a person who is
confused and needs some help right now. I will share more, once I read y'alls responses.

Bless you all

MoGa

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(in reply to PsyVamp)

Post #: 37

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/26/2008 1:10:02 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

1. Do you believe that children learn what they live?
Yes, and no. I believe they eventually will be their own people, and by then you can only hope what you taught them will be enough.

2. If so, do you think that those same children will grow up to be the type of adults that they lived with in their childhood? Yes, and no. I am much like my mother, even sound like her, as my oldest is a lot like me, but there are differences in three of us that are obvious glaring things.

3. What if, as an adult, they attempted to go through therapy, long years of therapy? Would that break the cycle of what they learned as children? No one is "trapped" into anything. The cycle of whatever behavior they learned can be changed. I have known victims of child abuse who would never lift a finger toward their own children. I come from a family of alcoholics, but have few issues with it myself. I grew up in a house of smokers, but me and my um's don't smoke. Only so much blame can be placed on family life. Eventually, a person has to step up to the plate and be responsible for their own selves.

1. Do you have a burning hot sensation in the pit of your stomach when you think of something or someone?
Egads, yes.
2. Is it a painful feeling that you must have release of, or you feel like you will suffocate from it?
Sometimes it hurts physically. It makes me hurt to think of it, to feel it over again. It still trips me up in life, my baggage still causing me hurt and anger. WIITWD eases it, but since the two aren't related in my own heart and head, it doesn't always do the trick. I just box it back up as best I can and get on with life.
3. When you talk about hurting your sub or your sub talks about wanting- in fact - needing the release that only pain can accomplish, do you feel that burning hot sensation in your stomach? Or do you just feel it, when you have the need to play? Or not feel it at all?
Not being the dom(me) here, I will try to answer this. I feel the need to escape, a level of which I can only acheive through the hands of My Lord. His love/pain toward me takes me to a place where nothing else matters. Does it have to do with the burning? I hope not, but choose not to examine it close enough to find a reason. I just want to be free in it.
4. If what we do is illegal in most states, if not all, how do you cope with your own kink, when there is no one around to help you put out the fire that lies in your belly? I would like to say, obviously you can not just go out and grab the nearest person that you feel can fulfill your need, but is it that obvious? If what we do is illegal, than what stops you from committing an act against someone who is unwilling and most certainly not consenting to your need?
Me? I masturbate. shrug. It doesn't make the burning go away, but it eases the ache of it a little. What's to stop you from hurting someone? THEY ARE! Hate to ring the consensual bell, but hell, there doesn't seem to be a lack of us that enjoy the abuse. I cope with my kink by being honest with myself and knowing my limits for it. There's no way I would submit if I thought My Lord wouldn't respect those limits.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 38

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/26/2008 1:11:42 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

Hi everyone,
I have thought about this over the past few hours and I decided to take Em's advice. I am going to share with you, my friends here on collarme, what has been going on with me.

First I would like to ask some questions and they are pretty personal, but I need to know how y'all feel about certain topics. Not that you don't share with the world your personal views on things, but because this is a serious thread, and I want everyone's honest answers.

I am purposely not going to use the word "Abuse", in this thread. I think you will get the picture without that word being over-used here.

1. Do you believe that children learn what they live?

2. If so, do you think that those same children will grow up to be the type of adults that they lived with in their childhood?

3. What if, as an adult, they attempted to go through therapy, long years of therapy? Would that break the cycle of what they learned as children?

This ends the first part of my questions. Now comes the second part, which I think is more important, because it involves the physical reactions when we do wiitwd.

Frequently, kids do learn behaviour, and mirror it as adults. Some however, learn to hate certain behaviours, and grow away from it, and do not repeat it.

Therapy can help some folks, some it won't.

quote:

1. Do you have a burning hot sensation in the pit of your stomach when you think of something or someone?

2. Is it a painful feeling that you must have release of, or you feel like you will suffocate from it?

3. When you talk about hurting your sub or your sub talks about wanting- in fact - needing the release that only pain can accomplish, do you feel that burning hot sensation in your stomach? Or do you just feel it, when you have the need to play? Or not feel it at all?

4. If what we do is illegal in most states, if not all, how do you cope with your own kink, when there is no one around to help you put out the fire that lies in your belly? I would like to say, obviously you can not just go out and grab the nearest person that you feel can fulfill your need, but is it that obvious? If what we do is illegal, than what stops you from committing an act against someone who is unwilling and most certainly not consenting to your need?

(You may say because I wouldn't do anything with anyone unless I have their consent)

But..What if you feel you can't stop yourself? Truly dig into your soul for this answer. For it is this answer that I need the most, to be answered with up most honesty.

This is all I can say for right now. I appreciate all the responses, both here and in my c-mail. You have no idea how much it helped me to think about what I really wanted to say and what I feel comfortable talking about.

Please do not assume that I am anything, but a person who is
confused and needs some help right now. I will share more, once I read y'alls responses.

Bless you all

MoGa

The only time I've ever had any kind of burning feeling, was over a woman I loved, and a man I hated.

I didn't do what part of me wanted to do, because I knew it was wrong, and in the long run, would have only created more problems.

I prayed a lot. I worked very hard to fill my head with thoughts of what I needed to do, instead of what I wanted to do.

This may not fit in with what you're going through, MoGa, but hopefully, it helps.

< Message edited by Level -- 4/26/2008 1:12:52 PM >

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 39

RE: I'm alone (I think) - 4/26/2008 1:13:22 PM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

1. Do you believe that children learn what they live? Yes I have a very vocal opinion on this, which I will withhold as you did not ask for it...

2. If so, do you think that those same children will grow up to be the type of adults that they lived with in their childhood? Not neccesarily---for children at times, get this aversion that they want, desire and are driven to better--they also get the aversion to be driven to the illegal, immoral---and IMHO most of it in the name of love and acceptance.

3. What if, as an adult, they attempted to go through therapy, long years of therapy? Would that break the cycle of what they learned as children? It takes a ton of work, sometimes they can, sometimes they cannot, wiring and the psyche are so very different from person to person---it comes with the ability--nay the realization of tthe barrier and the strength and fortitude to break it--for some--denial is the best, for others rewiring--for many its easier to stay in what is the known.

This ends the first part of my questions. Now comes the second part, which I think is more important, because it involves the physical reactions when we do wiitwd.

1. Do you have a burning hot sensation in the pit of your stomach when you think of something or someone? uhm not yet, but I'm working on it---:>)

2. Is it a painful feeling that you must have release of, or you feel like you will suffocate from it? I at times feel a sadness that I may not find "him"--and that causes Me great sadness--however, I know I will survive.

3. When you talk about hurting your sub or your sub talks about wanting- in fact - needing the release that only pain can accomplish, do you feel that burning hot sensation in your stomach? Or do you just feel it, when you have the need to play? Or not feel it at all? No, I accept it for what it is, though I have dismissed more than a few subs for seeking the "constant need of pain and punishment"--its not where My life is for now, yest I do at times feel the desire to hurt him, to make him cry, to rescue him from his pain--I have a new boy I am chatting with and I have no idea how I am going to explain that concept---

4. If what we do is illegal in most states, if not all, how do you cope with your own kink, when there is no one around to help you put out the fire that lies in your belly? I would like to say, obviously you can not just go out and grab the nearest person that you feel can fulfill your need, but is it that obvious? If what we do is illegal, than what stops you from committing an act against someone who is unwilling and most certainly not consenting to your need? I have far too much to lose, and the thing I most pride Myself in as a Domina is control. I had a married sub not long ago who I know wanted Me to say--tell Me to leave her--take Me and do what you will--and I would not---for life out there is real no matter what our proclivities.

(You may say because I wouldn't do anything with anyone unless I have their consent)

But..What if you feel you can't stop yourself? Truly dig into your soul for this answer. For it is this answer that I need the most, to be answered with up most honesty. There is not-- in My world, a can't stop--for as the Domina, I believe I am the one to guide and steer the ship, it is My responsibility to weigh and balance My needs and desires and often banish them, to walk away, to give them up, to say No--for the over all good, for the examples I need to set and for the growth of My "unit"--

< Message edited by MladyHathor -- 4/26/2008 1:25:09 PM >

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 40

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