stella41b
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Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
Hi everyone,
I have thought about this over the past few hours and I decided to take Em's advice. I am going to share with you, my friends here on collarme, what has been going on with me.
First I would like to ask some questions and they are pretty personal, but I need to know how y'all feel about certain topics. Not that you don't share with the world your personal views on things, but because this is a serious thread, and I want everyone's honest answers.
I am purposely not going to use the word "Abuse", in this thread. I think you will get the picture without that word being over-used here.
1. Do you believe that children learn what they live?
2. If so, do you think that those same children will grow up to be the type of adults that they lived with in their childhood?
3. What if, as an adult, they attempted to go through therapy, long years of therapy? Would that break the cycle of what they learned as children?
This ends the first part of my questions. Now comes the second part, which I think is more important, because it involves the physical reactions when we do wiitwd.
1. Do you have a burning hot sensation in the pit of your stomach when you think of something or someone?
2. Is it a painful feeling that you must have release of, or you feel like you will suffocate from it?
3. When you talk about hurting your sub or your sub talks about wanting- in fact - needing the release that only pain can accomplish, do you feel that burning hot sensation in your stomach? Or do you just feel it, when you have the need to play? Or not feel it at all?
4. If what we do is illegal in most states, if not all, how do you cope with your own kink, when there is no one around to help you put out the fire that lies in your belly? I would like to say, obviously you can not just go out and grab the nearest person that you feel can fulfill your need, but is it that obvious? If what we do is illegal, than what stops you from committing an act against someone who is unwilling and most certainly not consenting to your need?
(You may say because I wouldn't do anything with anyone unless I have their consent)
But..What if you feel you can't stop yourself? Truly dig into your soul for this answer. For it is this answer that I need the most, to be answered with up most honesty.
This is all I can say for right now. I appreciate all the responses, both here and in my c-mail. You have no idea how much it helped me to think about what I really wanted to say and what I feel comfortable talking about.
Please do not assume that I am anything, but a person who is
confused and needs some help right now. I will share more, once I read y'alls responses.
Bless you all
MoGa
Okay, so here are my answers..
1. Children learn, pick up on and notice perhaps far more than we realize. Some children can be much tougher and resilient than adults. However unlike adults many things they learn are carried with them through later life and they have far more problems unlearning things.
2. If I grew up to be anything like my parents I'd shoot myself willingly. My parents influenced me heavily in life - they were both complete nutters. I'm quite nutty myself but not in the same way. But yes, children are surrounded by role models and pick up a lot of things from these people.
3. I refuse to see therapy as some sort of panacea.. some of it works, some doesn't. The biggest single factor determining whether therapy is successful or not is how i is applied by the patient to bring lasting change, and the next biggest factor is whether the patient is enabled to do so. Quite often a good support network can be more beneficial than the therapy.
Second part.
1. I have never experienced such a reaction, but I can and do have my own psychosomatic reactions to certain people. This may not be a similarity and so therefore should not be understood to be any sort of analogy.
2. Likewise I can relate here. I can feel stifled, strangled, depressed, inhibited, I can become physically ill, but conversely I can find inner strength, vitality and energy just from having some sort of interaction with some people.
3. I don't experience physical sensations as such, but my darker side can come out, I can become withdrawn, depressed, isolated, melancholic, distant. But then again I can pick up on such cravings in a Domme and I don't need to share that craving to share the activity.
4. I don't always live according to the law, but where there is a conflict I'm fully prepared to face the consequences. If there's no outlet for something I need I replace it by doing something else to fulfill another need and deflect the energy. When it comes to WIITWD I'm in control of my cravings and needs, not the other way round. But yes, sometimes it can get difficult.
I am myself totally, without any sort of reservation, openly, honestly, freely. I don't apologize for it either, it's the basis of my life and gets me everything I need. If people have an issue with that it's their issue. Yes I do freak out the people who are more narrow-minded. But I see it as these people need freaking out from time to time. It keeps them interested in life. Consider that a lot of the issues I still have to resolve have been caused by me trying to or having to fit in with others. In fact, this is what has turned my whole life around.
Best wishes.
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