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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/17/2008 8:55:41 AM

VelvetMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

i try not to trouble her with my problems

She needs to be giving back to you the love and support that you give to her...otherwise...why bother?

Clearly you're a good person, Mikie, for all of your issues, but the support and comfort you need to help you deal with them need to be coming from your primary relationship. While I'm all for poly relationships, believe me - they do not make the primary relationship dynamic any easier, and they're not a good source of getting your basic needs met.

< Message edited by VelvetMaam -- 5/17/2008 9:02:28 AM >

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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/17/2008 9:47:39 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

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with her medical problems and needs, i do not want to add to all that. i'll adapt and somehow deal with it.

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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/17/2008 9:53:33 AM

cjan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

well...out of the many years i have had to deal with this depression (which, by the way, gets labelled differently, depending on the doctor) i have seen more doctors than i can count, but never get far with treatment since, after a certain length of time, they switch me to someone else and the new doctor starts back at square one (like they can't read a damned chart). i have been on so many meds in my life, but after 3 months, i develope an immunity to the meds and they're like placebos to me. i've tried combination after combination of meds to no avail. it's like nothing ever works for any length of time before i'm back in the dumps again. maybe this makes me damaged goods and there's no aid to be seen in the forseeable future. i suppose this is the cross i have to bare...alone.

Michael, we are all ""damaged". By "we", I mean all human beings. That's just the way life works. Some people, for various reasons, are better equipped than others to adjust and survive to live a happy life. Nevertheless, to ask for help is, in itself, in my opinion, a sign of maturity and health. Keep seeking help. Never give up and resign yourself to "bearing your cross alone". You seem like a very good and nice person. I'm sure more people than you realize see these qualities in you and appreciate them.Keep seeking and working at feeling better and eventually you will.

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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/17/2008 1:01:59 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

maybe this makes me damaged goods and there's no aid to be seen in the forseeable future. i suppose this is the cross i have to bare...alone.

Michael,

If you chose to label yourself "damaged goods" because of a medical issue then you must label all of us damaged as well. Personally i prefer other terms: bent but not broken, or how about simply a survivor??

You sound tired Michael. That is understandable, considering the rough road you have been on. It is okay to be tired...to kick back and take a deep breath, to regroup your energies, before you again begin to travel.

And bearing this cross alone is a choice you make. You have a significant other who seems to treasure you. How would it make her feel to hear you say you are alone, and feel it is not right to burden her with your problems? I can tell you if my spouse/dom ever felt that way i would be very hurt, as would he if the situation were reversed. Please do not isolate...it is part of the depressive process and is very dangerous.

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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/17/2008 1:20:30 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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i did say "maybe" since some seem to think people with depression are "damaged". not saying i am, though

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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/17/2008 1:20:40 PM

Level

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Wise lady....

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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/23/2008 3:42:50 PM

Tantriqu

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I wouldn't date anyone who isn't looking after his blood pressure or diabetes or contact lenses ;-) Blah@@ pink eye!! It's not under his control, but his care of it is. Depression isn't a choice, but his care of it is. If he's not exercising, seeing his doc regularly, watching for the warning signs of his mood going down and taking his meds whether he feels like it or not, he's not taking care of it, and he's going to crash, perhaps taking some people with him.

I don't date when My mood is down [oh, a great friend just died, I'll pick up a guy and rape that guy's ass]: not safe for all involved, and I wouldn't date someone when they're depressed for similar reasons: is he celebrating his subbiness or actually feeling worthless? Also not safe.

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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/23/2008 8:30:42 PM

subfever

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quote:

How do you cope with a depressed submissive

Well, I'm a sub myself. But if I were a Dom, I'd give her lots and lots of happy juice.

If anyone's already said something similar, I apologize. I haven't read the 7 pages of responses. Generally speaking, I stay off of long threads.

But maybe I'll read them, just for Michael.

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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/23/2008 9:36:14 PM

subfever

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Okay, I've read all 7 pages.

All I'm going to do here is express three of my beliefs. Take them for whatever you think they're worth, Micheal. YMMV:

Headaches are not caused by aspirin deficiencies.

Most chemical imbalances are created either from within, or due to unwise dietary and/or lifestyle choices.

Happiness comes from within. Those who seek happiness from without, are doomed to chase the wind.

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RE: How do you cope with a depressed submissive - 5/26/2008 8:14:58 PM

Aneirin

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Broken toys ;

http://baphomet.tearmainn.com/brokentoys.html

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