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Switches who say they are doms - 5/21/2008 7:52:23 PM

bbwdommelilith

Posts: 81
Joined: 10/25/2006
Status: offline

A friend of mine recently suggested that I change my profile name to reflect the fact that I have realized that I am a switch. This, of course, makes perfect sense. BUT...I have also noticed that I get contacted by men whose profiles say that they are doms, but upon further questioning are really switches.So in some ways I am really getting what I want. What is going on here, and SHOULD I change my name?

Lilith

Post #: 1

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/21/2008 8:08:38 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I enjoy a wiiiiide variety of things in bed. I am also in charge of my life and in charge of situations. My assessments of people and situations are often correct, and I don't submit much to the will of others. I am dominant in terms of life-path. I enjoy bottoming sexually. I enjoy the missionary position too.

I chose the "Dominant" role in this profile because mental/emotional/spiritual seemed more important to me than sexual.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)

Post #: 2

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/21/2008 8:11:37 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Don't change your name unless you feel compelled to.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 3

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/21/2008 8:25:27 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Do as you see fit......

Personally, I find no enjoyment in giving up control or bottoming. I do that enough to make a living, I have no interest in taking it home with me.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)

Post #: 4

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/21/2008 8:33:35 PM

jim64

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline

As a sub that has switchy feelings, i have ask a lot of questions lately. What i have discovered is there are lot of people who identify as a switch. Like everything else, just do what feels right to you. i don't think you should change your name. Unless, you decide YOU want to.

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)

Post #: 5

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/21/2008 9:02:02 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

No matter what your friend says, I'm of a firm belief that the best person who can identify who you are, is you.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to jim64)

Post #: 6

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/21/2008 11:05:56 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Some people have two profiles, one for Dom and one for sub, because the label of switch can be negative. In the end, there's only one question: what makes YOU comfortable?

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)

Post #: 7

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 12:19:19 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

you always can "switch" back if you change

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 8

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 1:19:48 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

In enjoy recieving some pain every now and again, since when did having a maso streak not make me Switch in terms of Orientation? In terms of during play I might be considered a Switch (to a limited degrees).

Try being in a DOM Power couple relationship and play rough with one another.. Do you see the perspective where I'm coming from.

I myself was somewhat confused, thinking to myself am I a DOM or am I a Switch... It's a bit of a mind bender. But in reality! Even Dom/mes can kick back and enjoy recieving something.

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)

Post #: 9

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 1:43:01 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

For some of us, Topping and/or bottoming is a physical sensation and doesn't have anything to do with your role. Dominant and submissive are your roles (as are Master and slave). A Dominant can like to bottom, yet still be Dominant (Hit me harder, I said!). A submissive can like to Top, but not change role (May I hit you harder, Sir?).

Switches are more complex. A switch can switch Top/bottom, Dom/sub or both. It's like mix and match clothing. Whatever's clean and fits is what gets worn. ;-)

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 10

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 1:45:02 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

good old topping from the bottom will be back!!
IF people don't mind that, they should do what makes them happy.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 11

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 2:07:08 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

For some of us, Topping and/or bottoming is a physical sensation and doesn't have anything to do with your role. Dominant and submissive are your roles (as are Master and slave). A Dominant can like to bottom, yet still be Dominant (Hit me harder, I said!). A submissive can like to Top, but not change role (May I hit you harder, Sir?).

Switches are more complex. A switch can switch Top/bottom, Dom/sub or both. It's like mix and match clothing. Whatever's clean and fits is what gets worn. ;-)

Master Fire

I have to make a comment here. My BDSM/Kink Life was in many ways easier before discovering "the lifestyle" and having to dealing with all the wonderful labels and stereotyping that goes on.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 12

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 2:21:01 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Now Now.. a Trew DOM will never be a bottom to anything, not even a back massage! Topping from the bottom, gee, you mean people actually do that? I'm being sarcastic here. But there are so many people who's minds are wrapped up in D/s to the nth degree.

"Switch" - now there's a word. Can a Switch honestly be involved in a D/s relationship? The answers might suprise a few people.

Misconception is the Bitch Slapping Mother of Stereotypical Ingorance.

Has your mother slapped you good today?

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 13

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 3:24:58 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

There is a forum here for Switches. For some reason the mentaly challenged people on here distain Switches. Mmmm if you remove the S from Switches I can see why.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 14

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 3:47:37 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Do you actually enjoy having your partner tell you what to do or do you just occasionally want to be the bottom? And how often do you want to switch? One time in a month? Then you're a mainly dominant switch so you should look for a mainly submissive male.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 15

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 3:48:09 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

"Switch" - now there's a word. Can a Switch honestly be involved in a D/s relationship? The answers might suprise a few people.

give the answer please, I pressume you have it.

btw the lifestyle creates all these questions itself, because instead of living they try to name and box everything..lol
almost seems a daytime job to discuss the meaning of the words.
I don't mind in what box they stop me.. I do as I please....and I do give back rubs..but I call it maintenance on property

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 5/22/2008 3:53:13 AM >

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 16

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 4:14:01 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

If you want to change your name because of someone else and because they tell you to - then do it.
Or change your name because it is what you feel is more appropriate.

You can be dictated to by the masses or be in control of your own life. You choose.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)

Post #: 17

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 4:31:16 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Justme I like your property maintenance thing. Great way to put it. Just one question. If I don't own the person how can I do property maintenance?

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 18

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 4:39:22 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Justme I like your property maintenance thing. Great way to put it. Just one question. If I don't own the person how can I do property maintenance?

conquer her..with your charm ...piece of cake ;)

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 19

RE: Switches who say they are doms - 5/22/2008 5:45:57 AM

ToysAndTies

Posts: 124
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline

A better way for collarme to set up the sub/dom/switch part of profiles would be a slider bar of some kind, with sub at one end and dom at the other. Picking a spot on a spectrum is usually a better fit than choosing a box. True, some people have a Dom profile, as well as a sub profile, however, I feel that if you prefer both ends of the field, it makes more sense to select "Switch" for the simple reason that anyone who specifically singles out "not seeking switches" isn't worth my time anyway.

We switches have the joy of not being "twue" anything: others assume that just because we like to change things up a bit, that we like to do that with individuals. Some do, having another switch playmate is fun because you greatly expand the possibilities in a given night. But I tend to find a certain dynamic with another person, and tend to stick to one role with most people. Just because someone switches, doesn't mean that they want to switch with you.

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 20

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