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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Being eclectic doesn't mean you do not specialise persay.  And doesn't really make any sense to me in response.  If you wish to enlighten me, please feel free.
 
Relationships are all different.  Not all s-types will be useful to you and do what you want.  Usefulness comes in many ways.  You want a s-type that does housework, works and is submissive in bed, you make it clear and go from there. I don't believe in one true ways of being submissive.
 
the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

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Sort of like people who "hard limit" housework.

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Personally,if someone is living under my roof, I expect them to do thier share-it's not as if I do not do the same. Do you think a sub should be willing to work?

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

I guess I just can't see the point of having someone around who's not useful in some capacity but what I might find useful may not be what someone else would find useful.

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Sort of like people who "hard limit" housework.

I have no problem with someone who puts a hard limit on housework. In fact, I think Himself should do that as he's a horrible housekeeper!

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Personally,if someone is living under my roof, I expect them to do thier share-it's not as if I do not do the same. Do you think a sub should be willing to work?

I think both submissives and dominants thrive best by entering into relationships with those who are compatible. If that means both work, or one works while the other stays home and takes care of the house or that the same one who works does all the housework as well, if that's works for them, then it's all good.

Celeste

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

You asked the question I answered.  You want all submissive types to be one way?  You won't get your way.
Unless you are upfront and communicate what you expect and follow through without hesitation, you end up sending them away in a cab. 
 
the.dark.

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I think that likely the type of person that Leatherist is referring to are the subs who think this is a great place to find someone who will take responsibility for them and their life.....and unfortunately there are far too many willing to do just that.

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ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

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I think that likely the type of person that Leatherist is referring to are the subs who think this is a great place to find someone who will take responsibility for them and their life.....and unfortunately there are far too many willing to do just that.

So then it is win-win...both parties get what they want.

What is the issue with that?

It worked out great for me and for R.

I think the key is to be upfront about what you are looking for from the get-go.

I don't see the connection between wanting someone to be responsbile for you and your life and that person not being able to use you for things or make you useful. I'm used in this household for a variety of things, he tells me to do x y or z and I do x y or z. The amount of responsbiliy I carry(which is minimal) has nothing to do with the degree of my obedience or degree of usefulness to him...it seems an odd comparison to try and make...They really are not related.

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ORIGINAL: chickpea

What do you expect from a "dial-a-slave" website?  Easy come, easy go.  Don't play victim, you knew what you were getting yourself into.  Just in the back of your head it's like i hope, i hope.  Nope, this is a computer where you type up who or how you are.  I't's much harder and more real to do real actions.  You're not going to get a match with those that can type up a cool story, yet haven't gotten their butt off  the computer in the process.  Maybe a semi-match.  But not the real deal relationship.  whine whine whine 

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

Sort of like people who "hard limit" housework.

Personally,if someone is living under my roof, I expect them to do thier share-it's not as if I do not do the same. Do you think a sub should be willing to work?

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

Sort of like people who "hard limit" housework.

Personally,if someone is living under my roof, I expect them to do thier share-it's not as if I do not do the same. Do you think a sub should be willing to work?

"Useful" and "work" can take on various meanings.  A person can work inside or outside of the home.  Sometimes a submissive can be most useful to the dominant by taking care of the house and not taking an outside job.  Sometimes money is not the dominant's priority, but having a submissive/slave at the house, taking care of it and taking care of him.  This would make her quite useful to him.

Maybe he has a maid to do the housework and wants her to remain home, taking care of his needs, like a personal assistant who has awesome sex with him.  Nothing wrong with that, either.  What are the people in the relationship looking for, and have they found it?  That's what's important.

I've been in a situation before (in my former marriage) in which I worked full time, went to the gym, took care of all household chores, managed the money, did the grocery shopping, cooked the dinners, and took care of the husband.  It's doable, but exhausting and in the long term can be quite unfulfilling if the spirit isn't being fed.

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ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

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I think that likely the type of person that Leatherist is referring to are the subs who think this is a great place to find someone who will take responsibility for them and their life.....and unfortunately there are far too many willing to do just that.

So then it is win-win...both parties get what they want.

What is the issue with that?

It worked out great for me and for R.

I think the key is to be upfront about what you are looking for from the get-go.

I don't see the connection between wanting someone to be responsbile for you and your life and that person not being able to use you for things or make you useful. I'm used in this household for a variety of things, he tells me to do x y or z and I do x y or z. The amount of responsbiliy I carry(which is minimal) has nothing to do with the degree of my obedience or degree of usefulness to him...it seems an odd comparison to try and make...They really are not related.

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist
I can see having a sex slave if you can afford it-she had best be top flight as a kept woman.

But most people out there aren't "Sir Steven". I think you have to be realistic in the division of labor. Most of us cannot afford to keep households going on the work of just one these days.

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist
Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin
As you yourself said, you are useful to him. Leatherist posted about subs who REFUSE to be useful. I'm sorry and you may not like it, but I do have an issue with people who REFUSE to be useful. In my world, you carry your own weight or you sink. I'm not talking about people who are incapable in some way that impedes them from contributing to the whole. I am talking about people who refuse, make excuses and are non-productive in general, feel that they are "above" having to work and expect other people to do it all for them. As far as I'm concerned, people who suck off of others, sit around soaking up oxygen and taking up space while they expect the world to cater to them are totally useless and I place them on about the same level as cancerous tumors.