RE: A useful sub? (Full Version)

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Mercnbeth -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 10:19:16 AM)

quote:

Someone suggested having a submissive be useful was "abusive" to some schools of thought.


this slave doesn't believe "useful" to be "abusive" unless the sub perceives it as such.  for example, it might be useful for the Dom to pimp out the sub, but if the sub perceives "pimping" as abusive, then, well...it is, to them.  it doesn't really matter if this slave finds it to be abusive or not.

quote:

Sort of like people who "hard limit" housework.


requiring someone to do housework when they have such a strong aversion to it that it would be a "hard-limit", sounds like an incompatibility issue, to be sure.

quote:

Personally,if someone is living under my roof, I expect them to do thier share-it's not as if I do not do the same. Do you think a sub should be willing to work?


this slave agrees you have every right to demand anyone living under your roof do their share, unless they are a guest, as does anyone who holds title to the roof.
 
work does not always equal employment.  this slave's job/duty/responsibility is pleasing Master, doing His bidding, whatever that may entail throughout any given day.  she doesn't consider it "work".  it pleases Him for this slave to not be employed in any other capacity, for anyone else, unless He directs her to be of some service to someone else.
 
it "works" for us.





Leatherist -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 10:22:00 AM)

I could easily employ a slave in my home as part of a home based craft business. And have her also do a portion of the housework-and never work for anyone else-she would still be doing her share regardless.




NorthernGent -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 10:23:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Any relationship where your needs arent being met is unfulfilling and hard on the spirit.



Absolutely - where her contribution doesn't match your needs, forget it.

So, in the spirit of the OP, it's a matter of how much value is placed on housework.

For me, it's of little value, with the exception that where she does the housework, I can use my time more productively. I think there's a lot to be said for the principle of firm but fair; a woman working full time, undertaking the cooking and all of the housework, is too much of a burden and will be counter-productive.




Leatherist -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 10:25:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Any relationship where your needs arent being met is unfulfilling and hard on the spirit.



Absolutely - where her contribution doesn't match your needs, forget it.

So, in the spirit of the OP, it's a matter of how much value is placed on housework.

For me, it's of little value, with the exception that where she does the housework, I can use my time more productively. I think there's a lot to be said for the principle of firm but fair; a woman working full time, undertaking the cooking and all of the housework, is too much of a burden and will be counter-productive.


I used housework as an example,not an absolute. There are other ways to contribute that do not involve sex-that's fun-and only work if you are a whore by trade.




mistoferin -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 10:31:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Hi Erin,
I don't know if you intended it or not, but you sound kind of angry about such kinds of people, as if you are referring to personal history in doing so. 


Nope, no anger. Personal history? Owned, based on your knowledge of me do you really think that anyone that resembled the description I gave would have an opportunity to be anywhere near my life?...Nope...LOL[:D]




ownedgirlie -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 10:32:23 AM)

Ha, OK Erin you make a point.  [8D]





Justme696 -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 10:38:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

But I'm just in it to be of sexual service!



vacuum cleaning in a sexy way counts too   [:D]




missturbation -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 11:19:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

You asked the question I answered.  You want all submissive types to be one way?  You won't get your way.
Unless you are upfront and communicate what you expect and follow through without hesitation, you end up sending them away in a cab. 
 
the.dark.

 
I told her in advance what would happen if the deals were not kept-she failed to do so-I kept MY word.


ahhhhh so this thread is really about getting the validation from others that you were right to expect your sub to 'work' and when she didnt leave the relationship ?




AquaticSub -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 11:26:34 AM)

I think people in a relationship, particularly those living together, should pull their own weight. However, that will mean a lot of different things to different people so it's something that probably be discussed before people in together.




chickpea -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 11:27:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

What do you expect from a "dial-a-slave" website?  Easy come, easy go.  Don't play victim, you knew what you were getting yourself into.  Just in the back of your head it's like i hope, i hope.  Nope, this is a computer where you type up who or how you are.  I't's much harder and more real to do real actions.  You're not going to get a match with those that can type up a cool story, yet haven't gotten their butt off  the computer in the process.  Maybe a semi-match.  But not the real deal relationship.  whine whine whine 


I don't think you are quite getting it. I freely admit to making mistakes in my younger days-fool me once, shame on me. (It was unfortunately-quite real) It's not a thing to repeat. I'm just curious as to how some rationalize it.


Basically, people sit behind a computer and find a Master.  And then, they finally get their ass off the chair from the computer, sit at your place, and expect a Master.  What? is some magical potion supposed to change them from the lazy person that they were to begin with?  I don't see the point in figuring out how some people rationalize it.  Just a habit repeating itself is what i see.  We can idealize and fantasize all we want behind a freaking computer screen, but people are people and that won't ever change...no matter how many new people you bring.

So go whine, and call subs names.  It's just hilarious to me.  Guess where I go when I'm feeling lazy bored or want to blow off steam?  Yeah you guessed it, right here.  Yeah for better luck, maybe you should call 1-800-SLAVE-NOW, if I'm really bored I maybe waiting on the other end of the line (and if you're REALLY LUCKY, I'll be sooo anxious to do my share of the housework or whatever grueling slave work you can throw at me in a loving, caring relationship when I answer the slave hotline).  *grin* 

Hey, not to burst your bubble or something horrible and aweful like that, but I see history repeating itself.




AquaticSub -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 11:35:47 AM)

Except for when they find masters at munches, play parties, book clubs, college classes, through friends, etc. Nor does using an internet dating service make one lazy - it means they felt like expanding their dating pool via the internet.

People here are just that - people. Some are lazy, some are hard-working. Some are clean, others slobs.




SleepyDom -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 11:35:50 AM)

I wish I'd known the concept of hard limit so I could've had this conversation as a kid:

Mom:  Sweetie, do the dishes today, ok?
Me: Sorry mom, that's a hard limit.
Mom: Huh?
Me: It'll cause me irreparable emotional or physical damage.  You really don't want that do you?
Mom:  Uh... I guess not.

Dang, all those chores I could've avoided!

Of course, the subsequent conversation would've went like this:

Mom: In that case Mr. we clearly have a compatibility issue.  You clearly should've put that in your profile!
Me: You're so right Mom.  So I guess this means...
Mom: That's right, you're released.




lizcgirl -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 12:05:17 PM)

I've always believed, even in vanilla relationships, that if two people live together that means two people should work to maintain the household. I am very old fashioned in the sense that I personally prefer to the house work and the man to do the "manly" things such as the yard, repairs, etc. But that is my personal preference, what works for me. I know some very functioning households where the roles are reversed completely, and that's great for them. I appreciate it when my Master does small things to help me out, such as simply picking up after Himself, but housework doesn't bother me at all. (Except dishes, God I HATE to do dishes!) I had one man I lived with more than 5 years ago who knew how I felt and was all for it. Then when I moved in, he stopped everything and I was left with not only the inside household chores, but all the things he was supposed to be doing too. I don't care if you're a man, woman, vanilla, whatever, if you agree to do certain things then just don't do them because you have the mindset that your partner will just do it, that is rude and inconsiderate.




TreasureKY -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 12:11:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Do you think a sub should be willing to work?


I think a sub should be willing to do whatever he or she agreed to do when entering into a relationship with a dominant.  I think that goes for the dominant, as well.




lusciouslips19 -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 12:28:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

But I'm just in it to be of sexual service!



vacuum cleaning in a sexy way counts too   [:D]


Lushy...writing down notes. Has to vacuum naked for Dom![;)]




akisha -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 12:30:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You

If the person is living with you, then the relationship is 24/7.  Thus, it seems to Me that you're referring to M/s, not D/s...


Whoa!! wtf??

Ok I live with my Dominant ergo we are 24/7. I sure the hell am not a Slave.

And what do you assume the difference is between being a Dominant and submissive relationship verses a Master and slave relationship?




akisha -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 12:32:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin



Yes, emphatically! A person who does not carry their own load is dead weight.


I second this.  100%

Everyone needs to help out in some way to make life run smoothly




xxblushesxx -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 12:42:49 PM)

It depends on what is agreed upon between the people involved, no?

I *am* HM's "leather pleasure slave", but, I also scoop litter boxes and help with other housework.

At the same time, He knew long before we became involved, that housework wasn't exactly my specialty...

*edited to add* I *do* have housework as a hard limit, but that was just because it was funny.




Leatherist -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 12:49:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

What do you expect from a "dial-a-slave" website?  Easy come, easy go.  Don't play victim, you knew what you were getting yourself into.  Just in the back of your head it's like i hope, i hope.  Nope, this is a computer where you type up who or how you are.  I't's much harder and more real to do real actions.  You're not going to get a match with those that can type up a cool story, yet haven't gotten their butt off  the computer in the process.  Maybe a semi-match.  But not the real deal relationship.  whine whine whine 


I don't think you are quite getting it. I freely admit to making mistakes in my younger days-fool me once, shame on me. (It was unfortunately-quite real) It's not a thing to repeat. I'm just curious as to how some rationalize it.


Basically, people sit behind a computer and find a Master.  And then, they finally get their ass off the chair from the computer, sit at your place, and expect a Master.  What? is some magical potion supposed to change them from the lazy person that they were to begin with?  I don't see the point in figuring out how some people rationalize it.  Just a habit repeating itself is what i see.  We can idealize and fantasize all we want behind a freaking computer screen, but people are people and that won't ever change...no matter how many new people you bring.

So go whine, and call subs names.  It's just hilarious to me.  Guess where I go when I'm feeling lazy bored or want to blow off steam?  Yeah you guessed it, right here.  Yeah for better luck, maybe you should call 1-800-SLAVE-NOW, if I'm really bored I maybe waiting on the other end of the line (and if you're REALLY LUCKY, I'll be sooo anxious to do my share of the housework or whatever grueling slave work you can throw at me in a loving, caring relationship when I answer the slave hotline).  *grin* 

Hey, not to burst your bubble or something horrible and aweful like that, but I see history repeating itself.



You still aren't getting it.




Leatherist -> RE: A useful sub? (5/23/2008 12:56:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

You asked the question I answered.  You want all submissive types to be one way?  You won't get your way.
Unless you are upfront and communicate what you expect and follow through without hesitation, you end up sending them away in a cab. 
 
the.dark.

 
I told her in advance what would happen if the deals were not kept-she failed to do so-I kept MY word.


ahhhhh so this thread is really about getting the validation from others that you were right to expect your sub to 'work' and when she didnt leave the relationship ?


no.




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