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Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:07:28 PM   
darkeangelique


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline 		Hi all.

i am really after some advice here. i have asked my Master for relase as i cannot give Him what he wants (a child) and i don't want to be His nilla  partner any longer as i was devastated to find out that He has belonged to paid dating sites for the last 8 months and has been chatting on msn with a variety of women in explicit ways, and intuition tells me He has been seeing someone else also - but i have no proof of real contact.

So, i have requested He release me. He won't-says i took an oath of ownership by Him forever.What is my status? While part of me still loves Him, and He is a wonderful Dominant most of the time, i have lost respect for our relationship. What should i do?

Darke
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:09:03 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		Walk.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:09:27 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		What is your status? Whatever YOU decide it is. If you felt strongly enough to ask for release, then perhaps you should put on a pair of boots and start walking.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:09:46 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Release yourself.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:21:13 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		I find this confusing - is he a vanilla partner or your dom? You're presenting it as if he is both, which I think more often than not leads to confusion. I am not clear what is wrong with him being on dating sites, or with him chatting with other women "in explicit ways". That might be unacceptable if he is your partner, if he is your master that is really up to him. Is that why you mention your giving him a child, rather than him breeding you?

At any rate, I think you probably should figure out what you want to be, a partner or a sub, and then take it from there. If you are indeed trying to have your cake and eating it,  I think you now know that can get kind of messy. It isn't that being both is impossible, but I know few who manange it, in the longer term.

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:27:21 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkeangelique

Hi all.

i am really after some advice here. i have asked my Master for relase as i cannot give Him what he wants (a child) and i don't want to be His nilla  partner any longer as i was devastated to find out that He has belonged to paid dating sites for the last 8 months and has been chatting on msn with a variety of women in explicit ways, and intuition tells me He has been seeing someone else also - but i have no proof of real contact.

So, i have requested He release me. He won't-says i took an oath of ownership by Him forever.What is my status? While part of me still loves Him, and He is a wonderful Dominant most of the time, i have lost respect for our relationship. What should i do?

Darke


Well, considering that in your profile you are clearly looking for a Master and are not opposed to casual play, I think you already know your status.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:31:50 PM   
MistressTeardrop


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		wow. I would think that if someone asked for release, it would almost always be granted...what is the use in keeping someone who does not want to serve you anymore?

I would say you need to sit down and make sure He knows how serious you are, and tlak with him....if He still refuses decide if you want to leave....and/or if you can.....and what is best for you.

~MT

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:44:49 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

What should i do?


Say Goodnight, Gracie


_____________________________



(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:46:47 PM   
darkeangelique


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline 		You have raised a good point. Thankyou.

i set up the profile and then got cold feet in a sense. i dont want to do the wrong thing and appear foolish or dishonest. So i thought i would seek advice. He and i will never be together again, for a variety of reasons His and mine, if He refuses to release me and i am to be bound by that, i have a very lonely future.

Does a sub have the right to demand release, and have it granted, when a relationship goes pear shaped?

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:51:16 PM   
BikerDom4


Posts: 29
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		Youve asked for release... is he your Master or your nilla partner ? if hes your Master you know what you have to do, if hes your nilla partner, you discuss his online chat , if there s been no meetings... you talk to him, because your not giving him what he needs... Personally if I was asked for release I would grant it , thrers no point in being with someone who doesnt want you .... He can only Domintate if you submit ...

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:51:37 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Perhaps since you feel that you have to ask if you have rights, or if you are to be bound to him forever, your interests would be best served by staying bound to him forever.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Release request denied - 5/25/2008 11:54:15 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		A sub is still a human and a human has the right to demand whatever they want. I think the basic workings of any relationship is both people should be happy and consent to being in the relationship. If one doesn't then it's not much of a relationship; vanilla or BDSM or whatever label you want to call it.

Cut your losses and just go, whether he "releases" you or not. If it's not working then it's not working.

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Release request denied - 5/26/2008 12:03:19 AM   
darkeangelique


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline 		Another good point.

If He were seeking other subs - perhaps i could understand better - i cant explain why, but that would be different.  If He has done it openly it would have been different.

Maybe i just felt stung because He was was chatting to nilla women, one of whom happened to be my sister but He didnt realise. He wants a 'partner' to show the world and a sub in every non public aspect of life. Although un noticed rules like lighting his cigarette and no underwear etc apply in mixed company with me. He wants a 'partner' and a sub, and i cant be that partner any more. Is my request so unjustified?

(in reply to BikerDom4)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Release request denied - 5/26/2008 12:03:31 AM   
ksdomcpl


Posts: 16
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		I don't get why some subs feel like they lose all rights as soon as they get a Master.  You're still a person and a grown adult.  If you're done with him as a Master than there is nothing he can do to keep you.  And if he does try, well that's illegal and stupid on his part.  But make up your mind.  And it is yours to make.  Don't drag it out.  As for the nilla relationship.  Same goes there.  If he is absolutely intent on having a child (don't know why he would :P )  and you absolutely cannot then it might be better for him to look elsewhere.  So go grab your man, sit him down and have a nice chat with him.  A serious, no games chat.  good luck

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Release request denied - 5/26/2008 12:10:05 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		If it is a case where you “have lost respect for [the] relationship” then staying doesn’t seem productive does it?
On the other hand, sometimes girls get emotional or try to do the Master’s job by making judgments for him.  If it is a case that you can’t have his baby and decided you could “fortune tell and mind read” that he will be better without you, maybe you should listen to him and how he feels? 

Either way, a Master’s actions can only serve remind a slave of her place.  Forced seduction and capture are a common romantic slave fantasy but, when the lines between the reality of your choices and your fantasy collide, you need to deal with it and hold your place with the Master or choose to end it.  Neither surrendering nor choosing that Master were forced, it was your decision.  Even real nonconsensual slaves escape without permission or release. 

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Release request denied - 5/26/2008 1:36:16 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Your statis is whatever you wish it to be. If you want to remain in the shadow of you victim archetype, stay. If you want to use your vicitim archetype as a flag to look for something more healthy, go.

While I agree with a lot of the Ms lifestyle that promotes total ownership, I don't believe that ANYONE has to give over their authority to an abusive person or remain in an abusve relationship. In the end, no one can force you to do anything.

But, you really know all this already...you're just wanting us to validate it for you.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Release request denied - 5/26/2008 2:09:19 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Forever can be a long, long, time.  You may have gone into the relationship with good intentions, but if you didn't realize that he would still be looking for others there is no doubt that you would be hurt.

I'll tell you a secret:  the submissive holds the upper hand.  You can walk at any time if "He" is not meeting your needs.  It doesn't matter if he releases you or not.  If you feel that Y/your journey is over, then it is.  Do what is best for YOU.


_____________________________



(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Release request denied - 5/26/2008 2:45:52 AM   
SleepyDom


Posts: 118
Status: offline 		I thought maybe you were asking one of two things:

1) Do you have any legal rights to simply leave and do as you want despite having gone into an M/s relationship?  Well, of course.  Legally, he has no right NOT to release you.  You can walk out as you wish as in any relationship.  But this can't be what you're asking; I'm sure you know this already.

2)Are you violating some code of honor by not honoring the M/s relationship any more since you gave verbal promise to be his forever?  Well, I don't know.  Being honorable is good, but if he's proven himself to be dishonorable, I don't even see that your action could be construed as dishonorable in any sense, even if you violate that promise.

And in any case, I think anyone has a right to walk out of any relationship, even an M/s one.  All relationships are consensual, and this means everyone has the right to walk away from any relationship for any reason whatsoever (including no reason).  Some immature blokes try this "you can't leave" crap because it's an M/s.  But even an M/s is an M/s because both parties agree to that structure.  If either doesn't consent, it isn't an M/s.  If you don't consent to him being your master any more, leave, and don't give it another thought.

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Release request denied - 5/26/2008 2:59:31 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkeangelique

Hi all.

i am really after some advice here. i have asked my Master for relase as i cannot give Him what he wants (a child) and i don't want to be His nilla  partner any longer as i was devastated to find out that He has belonged to paid dating sites for the last 8 months and has been chatting on msn with a variety of women in explicit ways, and intuition tells me He has been seeing someone else also - but i have no proof of real contact.

So, i have requested He release me. He won't-says i took an oath of ownership by Him forever.What is my status? While part of me still loves Him, and He is a wonderful Dominant most of the time, i have lost respect for our relationship. What should i do?

Darke

Sorry but I usually can't help having a chuckle and snigger at this "haven't been released" nonsense some doms prattle on with....
 
Since this is an adult site, I'm gunna presume you're an adult and if it is over for you, pack your gear and leave.  Fair dinkum, people exchange marriage vows with the best of intentions, too, but many end up in divorce.  Lifestylers do not live to a higher order than anyone else!
 
You should do whatever you feel is best for *YOU*.  I've always wanted to see an effectively neutered dom stamp his feet and huff n puff etc when his "unreleased" girl bids his sorry arse goodbye anyway.  Perhaps you'll take some snaps for me?
 
Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Release request denied - 5/26/2008 3:53:52 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Oh please...unless you're married to him or have joint accounts then you friggin just walk away.  That's  the only release you need.

_____________________________



(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 20
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