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Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 6:07:31 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		Reposted from this thread.

What's good for Master role models?  One sub I know was very into the 'SexAndSubmission' site but it's also focused pretty much on the her and not the him; I'm not looking to wank off, I'm looking to improve my game.  Although the movies are very well done, it's more scripted than I'd like...  Plus it doesn't fit well with my particular style of mind fvckery.  It doesn't really capture the mental aspect of dominating a girl to the point where she feels helpless, lost as to what happens next yet safe; or fishing out her need to be controlled and satisfying it; it's more about the toys than anything, and it's pretty obvious these girls are paid.  Know any good viewing material that gives me real substance without choking on the hokey?  ( I know about literotica, and the S/M section at Borders.  Some good stuff there, but not the same impact as a good reel would have.)

I'm posting in the Ask A Master category because I want the honest opinions of heterosexual intelligent Dom peers.  Guys who have close to the same mindset I do and know what kind of crap I can't be bothered with, and what kind I should sit my ass down and pay attention to.  I'm posting a similar thread to the subs to see what gets them hot, and I'll correlate between the two.  Hopefully I'm not violating any TOS by this duplication; it has a purpose.  If you're a sub, go post on that one.  If you're a Domme, unless you are REALLY certain that your reference will pass the awesome test then I politely ask that you out of kindness towards a honest seeker not muddy the waters.  The stuff you learn from will not be the same stuff I learn from.

Link to the thread in Ask A Sub

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 6/11/2008 6:14:22 AM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 6:35:59 AM   
MrSpectacular


Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		I think the best role model you have is being yourself.
Hower given that you may be seeking more I would forget movies and online and get into real life . Attend some events -talk to other people in the scene.

N


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Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

(in reply to DMFParadox)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 7:13:19 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Telling people where to post is really rude, especially since it shows you have a predisposition to tell others what know you will and won't learn from them.  That is not attractive so I'd suggest finding people and websites that won't put up with it and will help you move beyond that stupidity.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MrSpectacular)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 9:46:59 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		If you are telling people where to post if they're in a particularly category, you're no peer of mine, and not extremely socially intelligent. I doubt very much anybody can muddy your waters more.

(in reply to DMFParadox)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 10:36:34 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		 OP "...I'm posting in the Ask A Master category because I want the honest opinions of heterosexual intelligent Dom peers.  Guys who have close to the same mindset I do and know what kind of crap I can't be bothered with, and what kind I should sit my ass down and pay attention to. "...

Wow well the first lesson would be to open your mind up a tiny bit and let some light inside, because being a Master is not about gender, or about what genders you have sex with. The huge majority of what works for one gender works for both, and a huge percentage of what works for gay and lesbian M/s relationships also works for Hetero relationships.

Once you have opened the mind that much there are a wealth of experiences that can be read about and talked about between Masters.

(in reply to antipode)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 10:45:10 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		In reply to Archer........... Amen to that. I concur 100%.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to Archer)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 10:57:49 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Thanks, Archer and IronBear!  And LA, of course!  People have different learning modalities, but they are not gender based.

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 6/11/2008 10:58:33 AM >

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 4:17:48 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Movies by definition aren't real. They're porn designed to get men hot and part them from their money. They aren't about building trust, having good judgment proved over time or anything else that allows a woman to accept a man as her dominant.

Honestly you're looking for a shortcut to a strong relationship, and they don't exist. Keep your word, do what you promise, stand up for what you believe in, care about another person. That's what it comes down to, from either side of the slash.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 4:36:18 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		HoneyMaster can get good ideas from doms, dommes, subs and slaves...hetero, bi, lesbian and gay...

Guess He's just good like that!

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 6:22:29 PM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles." - The Art of War, Sun Tzu

In short, maybe you should try to understand other people instead of ordering them around, because right now you are making enemies you clearly do not understand.

If you want a question answered, ask politely and do not try to dictate the particulars of answers.


< Message edited by Real_Trouble -- 6/11/2008 6:23:18 PM >

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Send lawyers, guns, and money.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 7:34:17 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello DMF (and boy could we go off on those initials, couldn't we?)
,
Well you have been spanked,...

Now for your question...

You should "sit your ass down" and go to some learning seminars... read... listen to your s-type, practice, go to munches, check out a conference, talk to people and then listen!  You have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason.  There are several doms (and other types of course) that I deeply respect.  If you pay attention, you will find some that you will also respect  -  I hope! 

I understand that sometimes we want answers from particular types of people - I sometimes want only from slaves or Doms or Dommes myself - but I don't ANNOUNCE in a public forum... I very quietly send cmail to the ones that I respect, whose opinion I value.  I mean why are you spitting on everybody else?  See if you can't find a mentor... that might help keep your foot out of your mouth.

So self-improvment is your topic... sounds like you might do well to work from the inside out instead of the other way around.

good luck
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Real_Trouble)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 9:10:27 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Steven Segal. Hes a God among men.

CD

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Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
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RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 10:25:38 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I'm going to come off sounding like a prick here.  But I can totally understand why you are asking this question just by the rudeness of your post.

I suggest you work in becoming a little more opened minded to listening, getting inside others people heads, and learn to ask questions in a manner to not offend and piss off people. 

You really are not going to get the answers you are looking for with being rude.  You'll most certainly never improve your game, unless you connection with somebody.

Anything you learn or do, won't work with everybody and anybody.  Basically, what might work with on sub, won't work with another.

Getting inside your submissives mindset, priceless... however you have to let them in yours as well.   There's a whole connection, that's a two way street. 

The only way you are going to know what makes a specific girl feel lost and helpless is to know what actually makes her feels lost and helpless.  Sure there are some general things to do or try.   Notice I said TRY... because that's really what a lot of this stuff is.   You try things out and see what does or does not work. 

If you already have a submissive, explore her, figure her the fuck out.  Nobody here knows what makes her fucking tick.  That's your job to figure it out.  Communication, trying things and exploring.  Also what the Hell makes you Hot, what trips your trigger during a scene?  Some submissives are turned on by your own friggen reactions.  Some will get lost and feeling helpless, when you feel you in complete control of what is going on.  Trust me, they can pick up on it when you are not in control.  This all is a bit of a Paradox.

Geessh...  There's a lot of tips and pointers you can get from sub,slaves, switches, Doms, Dommes. Male and Female alike on this topic.





(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Self Improvement - 6/11/2008 10:48:57 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox  The stuff you learn from will not be the same stuff I learn from.
  It wont?

How have you gone about learning stuff in the rest of your life?  This isn't really all that different.  Of course you can't get the essense of what is basically an interpersonal exchange from renting "Quills".  Being a dominant is not like opening a paint-by-numbers kit.  Do you know anyone else who is into this?  If you do, hang out with them.  If you don't, meet some.  But of course, I have a cunt, so I am sure none of what I said was worth sitting your ass down for.

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 12:54:36 AM   
darkeangelique


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline 		Hi Sunshine,

Excuse my ignorance, but can i ask what "s-type" is. i have seen it referred to on a number of posts.

Many thanx

Darke

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 12:58:34 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		s type= submissive

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 1:00:09 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		S type generic term to refer to submissives and slaves and others who are on that side of the hash mark.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 1:06:49 AM   
darkeangelique


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline 		Thanx...of course it does!!

Hope we all believe there is no such thing as a silly question...lol

Be well

Darke

_____________________________

Two things are infinite: the universe and human studity; I'm not sure about the universe

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 1:11:38 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		ehhhh the OP is a control freak.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to darkeangelique)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Self Improvement - 6/12/2008 3:32:21 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Replying to the OP,
By nature, upbringing and genetically, I am an arrogant bastard. I get up the hoses of a few people here by the way I write and how I state things. I get regular comments in private that I an a condescending prick and get even more notes on a friendly basis. Even I would never. Repeat NEVER open any address as you opened this thread. I will state here and now old lad, I learn something new from each and every person I meat human and non human. I’m not going to be so rude or blunt, depending on how you view it, as to tell you to get your head out of your ass, but I will suggest in a friendly manner that you take a long hard look at yourself, re-evaluate, make changes and then ask questions for all to respond and listen/read what others form all walks of life here have to say. I have not a single doubt that you will gather sufficient gems of wisdom for you to write a book on how to win friends and be a better human being.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)


< Message edited by IronBear -- 6/12/2008 3:33:21 AM >

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 20
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