LadyPact
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As promised, I came back to the thread. My original thoughts were entirely too long for My time limit this morning.
Personally, I do think it's a net thing. I also happen to think it occurs more often when it's a member of the site who isn't especially familiar with another member of the site. It keeps it more on the anonymous level. I don't think it happens as often when folks have gotten a chance to know each other, at least through the written word. Of course, even amongst the 'regular' posting people, there will always be some that almost continuously disagree, or don't particularly care for what the other has to say. Not all personality types or writing styles will mesh with everyone else. However, I find, for the most part, that is in the minority.
In real life, no. I really don't see it that often at all. I'd be hard pressed to try to remember the last time anyone was discourteous at a "like minded gathering" to Me. Not here in our little community, or the surrounding ones either, for that matter. Off of the top of My head, I can't even recall a single rude person at any of the major events, like SELF and DomCon, that we've attended in the last couple of years. It certainly doesn't happen at the club.
Having said all of that, I base that opinion more on common courtesy, rather than respect. I'm still a firm believer that courtesy is easily given to anyone, but respect is earned. There's usually a time investment involved with that. Even in those situations where it comes primarily from reputation, you have to remember how long it took to build that reputation. It sure didn't happen overnight.
As to the actual kink V lifestyle question, there really is a lot tied up in that. It's like the two things I've always told you. First, My way (or in other words, the way you've become accustomed to after observing these last couple of years), isn't the One True Way. I don't happen to believe in that there is one. Second, in this, like many other type of "lifestyle" discussions, you take what you need and leave the rest. I do what works for Me. It's that simple. It isn't that one is better or worse than the other.
There are a lot of things out there that have fallen under the supposed BDSM umbrella. There's no "L" mixed in there somewhere for either lifestyle or leather. Like Stella said, it really is a subculture that not everyone is interested in. "Lifestyle" seems to be a buzz word that a lot of people don't care for instead of saying "the way I live". Personally, it's easier for Me, so I'll keep saying it the way I do. "Leather" tends to get the same reaction. More often than not, it isn't favorable, even though, in My personal opinion, it really was the gay leathermen who paved the way for a lot of us today. Where people think we would be now if it wasn't for them, I really have no idea. The little bit of acceptance that we have for "alternative lifestyles" today, in a large part, came from them. It's the same as any other advancement that a group has benefited from because somebody else was 'first'. They weren't perfect people, nor would I venture to say that they had perfect intentions. Still, we reaped what they sowed, didn't we?
Where a person rests between the kink v lifestyle debate is completely up to them. It can be a good indicator to use to see if someone matches up in a proposed dynamic. Definitely a good tool of reference that I certainly use. I'm sure it helps a lot of other people, too, regardless of where they lie in this wonderful spectrum.
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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Kink V Lifestyle - 
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