I couldn't help Myself

I couldn't help Myself (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

LadyPact -> I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:20:10 PM)
This is not going to be a popular post. I understand that it doesn't appeal to everyone. If it isn't for you, feel quite free to move along. I just came from another thread, where the idea of "wearing" leathers was mentioned. Not presented or earned, but the purchase and "wearing" of leathers Like a fashion statenent. So, I would like to ask those of you who have earned their leather, is our time past.? Is it as easy as going out and purchasing a cap or a vest? I hope it is not so, but I could be mistaken.

MsStarlett -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:21:46 PM)
Sorry sweetie... that's a touch 'old school' attitude. It's cool, but most won't understand.

LadyPact -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:24:41 PM)
Yes, it is. Does this mean the old school house should be boarded up, with windows shut? Or were the lessons brought here worthwhile?

MsStarlett -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:28:46 PM)
It would be nice... But who wants to play school teacher to all the fakers & wannabes who don't even want to know?

Politesub53 -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:31:40 PM)
i think this is often a conflict between lifestylers, and people who just find leather sexy. i am not sure if it still happnes, but when i was growing up in London, young boxers resented people wearing the Lonsdale sportswear. I suspect most people copying a fashion staement are paying it a compliment, and not meaning any harm, although there are exceptions to this.

Morsigil -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:34:50 PM)
My understanding is that the idea of earning your leather is an old guard belief, which began in the 40s and 50s after the war. At 38, it doesn't appear as though you would've been old enough to be part of that scene, however I'm well aware that you can be raised in a tradition after it's hay-day. I don't think that that day has gone. In my experiences with the dommes here on Collar Me as well as locally in Portland I have noticed that many dominant women begin as submissives. My theory is this has to do primarily with gender roles and such, since I think it's rare (correct me if I'm wrong) that a man begins as a submissive, then switches, and then becomes a dominant like many dommes I've met do. If you'll allow me to weigh in on the idea, again I don't think the day has gone that people earn their leather, but I also don't see it as a tradition that will hold any formal place in the scene as it gains more members worldwide and the diversity in people that that entails.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:36:30 PM)
While I have absolutely no clue. I would think earning your leather,would be simliar to a submissive earning a special priviledge... IMO no the school houses should not be boarded up. * just an assumption which could on of the Mother of all fuck-ups So dont listen to Me I'm just guessing.

RedMagic1 -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:39:53 PM)
Well, dang. I sent out emails just today, to plan a trip to Augusta in late summer or fall. But for me, wearing leather is a Hard Limit. (I have no prob with how others dress, just to be clear.) I'm more interested in skills than symbols.

opposingtwilight -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:43:08 PM)
I'm trying to understand what is meant by all this. I genuinely don't know. For me being submissive is just what I do. There are no secret handshakes or schools or levels to be earned. Its like, I have a submissive personality and an innie set of plumbing. I tend to work well with those who have a dominant personality and an outie set of plumbing. Oh, and I think leather is kinda hot ... So, bearing that in mind ... Is it disrespectful that I wear leather sometimes or like it when my dominant wears leather? Even though I have NO clue what is meant by "earning your leathers"? I'm curious about what is meant but I doubt I'll apply that meaning to my future relationships. Does that make me a fake or a wannabe? Does it make me somehow less worthy as a submissive? I ask these questions out of a desire to know. I'm not trying to be snarky. For once. You've piqued my curiosity.

DesFIP -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:45:37 PM)
If this is your protocol, fine. But it isn't okay for you to expect that everyone else shares your background and protocols. Which is what you are doing. Most of us don't come from that training style. And the real "Old Guard' guys I used to know? Mainly dead these days and those still living are in their mid to upper 80's and not still playing or wearing leather.

LadyPact -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:46:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Well, dang. I sent out emails just today, to plan a trip to Augusta in late summer or fall. But for me, wearing leather is a Hard Limit. (I have no prob with how others dress, just to be clear.) I'm more interested in skills than symbols. Well now! Didn't that get My attention!!! Though, sadly, My email box is quite empty.

RedMagic1 -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:51:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: opposingtwilight I'm trying to understand what is meant by all this. I genuinely don't know. A good jumping-off point is here.... http://www.leatherarchives.org/collections/oral/oral.htm

onyx1130 -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 4:59:34 PM)
listen, its HOT even in chicago. I love wearing leather and rubber but form over function.

HeavansKeeper -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 5:02:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact This is not going to be a popular post. I understand that it doesn't appeal to everyone. If it isn't for you, feel quite free to move along. I just came from another thread, where the idea of "wearing" leathers was mentioned. Not presented or earned, but the purchase and "wearing" of leathers Like a fashion statenent. So, I would like to ask those of you who have earned their leather, is our time past.? Is it as easy as going out and purchasing a cap or a vest? I hope it is not so, but I could be mistaken. Give me two days and I can be dressed as... An admiral in the US Navy. A Post Office worker. A NY Police officer. A Fireman. A Supreme Court Justice. A UPS driver. A UK Warrant Officer Class Two... These days, earned uniforms are a dime a dozen. (Actually, they can be costly, but are in fact common). What they mean, in appearance, is removed down to a trinket. I will focus on collars, as an example of leather wear. Anyone can purchase a collar. Whether its classy and play-grade or found in the pet aisle of WalMart, it's a collar. With any gift I've ever given My Pet, I tell her "This is just a trinket - a thing, a noun. What makes you smile to receive it is the idea it carries." This is the same with collars, leatherwear, and badges. They're just material. What it means is beyond them. I understand the frustration you would feel if someone bought themselves a leather bracer and stands near you... Anyone who knows you earned yours is likely to assume this stranger earned theirs. There was a recent post about "vanilla and/or other kinky pervs respecting eachother" in which many people said "Who cares what they think? Who cares who they respect?" This is one of those times. People who know you will know your badge is the real deal. I know little of the leather culture, but I do know that many things they wear are sexy or attracting in some way or another. Some are less enticing to the novice, but some are often seen when people want to "add a little spice to the bedroom." Walmart wouldn't let me return beer on Sunday. The state I'm in doesn't allow the "sale" of alcohol on Sunday (a silly outdated law) and as such Walmart wouldn't make the exchange of money for booze. =P

LadyPact -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 5:11:49 PM)
All right, HK. Let's talk about collars. Now, when you see someone wearing a collar, what do you think? First impression, please. Not the all inclusive answer.

opposingtwilight -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 5:15:13 PM)
I know this wasn't directed at me but if I see someone (some random person) wearing a collar I'll wonder briefly if they have any interest in kink but generally I assume its a fashion statement.

LadyPact -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 5:17:05 PM)
It's ok, dawn. It's a discussion board. When I see one wearing a collar, My first thought is that they are an owned submissive.

HeavansKeeper -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 5:24:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact All right, HK. Let's talk about collars. Now, when you see someone wearing a collar, what do you think? First impression, please. Not the all inclusive answer. Assuming I'm at some sort of BDSM inspired situation, kink party, dungeon, munch.. "They're taken." Assuming I'm at the mall (any non-kink place) "That makes them sexier. I want it."

kiwisub12 -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 5:26:11 PM)
First impression of a collar wearer - emo or goth. and i'm thinking 99% of the time i would be right.

Maxwell67 -> RE: I couldn't help Myself (7/16/2008 5:27:29 PM)
I am not a big fan of leather as it is, and I cannot say I am likely to be more respectful to someone who claims they 'earned' the leather they are wearing over another who wears leather but makes no such claim. If it works for you, then fine, but simply because I have not been involved in it does not make me any less worthy to claim to be who I am. I do not know the history of this tradition, but I will look it up. In the meantime, however, when I see discussions about such things as this, then my first thought is that whatever it once was, it is now becoming an elitist system which is used to let those who have been involved in it feel superior to everyone who is not.

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125