RE: what makes a "true Dom"

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: what makes a "true Dom"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: what makes a "true Dom"

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/28/2008 12:18:53 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Wow, for once, an easy question...

True Dom: Someone who dominates another person. That is to say, someone who imposes their will on another.
True Sub: Someone who submits to another person. That is to say, someone who will yield to the will of another.

How hard is this really? Look, if I dance the tango, then I am, by definition, a tango dancer. If I do not, even if i might be theoretically able to, then I am not. My wife yields to my wishes. Ergo, she is submissive. There's no fluffy stuff, no karmic energy, no chakras, no crystal anything, and no "personality traits" involved. She is submissive because she submits. I am dominant because I dom. The why's of those two things are certainly interesting, at least to us. But it is the action that makes the label accurate.

And for bonus points (since I'm feeling lucky today):
Good Dom/Sub: A Dom/Sub who's good for their partner, see also: good husband, good wife, good significant other.

Insofar as the OP's ex, I have an analogy. My wife was a lesbian for a good 12 years of her life. That is to say, she slept with women, not men. Later on, she started sleeping with men, not women. Does this mean that she wasn't a "true lesbian"? Of course not. At the time, she was lesbian. Now she is straight. When in doubt, let the facts speak for themselves.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 41

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/28/2008 8:33:31 PM

Raziyalale

Posts: 13
Joined: 7/20/2008
Status: offline

want to thank everyone for their thoughts .. it has come more clear now.

my ex and mine relationship was an amazing one it was like we knew each others thoughts . He decided to leave the lifestyle because He was afraid that others would judge Him and His co workers might find out with Him being a judge He could not risk it. i will never say a bad word for what He did because He has to do what make Him happy..

again thank you for all the thoughts it helped me alot

_____________________________

if she could wish for her life to be perfect it would be tempting bit she would have to decline, for life would no longer teach her anything

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 42

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/28/2008 8:42:57 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Has a True sub, and usually for more than 90 days.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 43

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/28/2008 11:42:34 PM

MarquisDeSade87

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline

Watching you all disagree on this is really entertaining.

Can we agree that Dominant and submissive roles are defined by the relationship within which the two kinks reside as defined by the hierarchal power structure in place and how they see themselves within the BDSM community and get on with our lifestyles

_____________________________

It is not God I question but the falibility of mans perception, interpretation and understanding of God,-Myself

Whip or paddle?- a Dom's Dilemma

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 44

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/28/2008 11:48:44 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

in other words.. what works for the people involved?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to MarquisDeSade87)

Post #: 45

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/28/2008 11:52:45 PM

MarquisDeSade87

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline

in less technical terms yup

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 46

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 10:22:45 AM

SirWAX

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/3/2006
Status: offline

Although this question is answered, I notice now that i have been watching this board and not searching for specific answers there are a lot of people who at almost every question there seems to be a pattern where people automatically 'know' what is a real or fake Dom/me. So, i morph this question into another one:

subs:
What makes your Dom/ina, True for you?

Doms:
What motivates You, being a Dom/ina?

Jokers, have at thee.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

(in reply to MarquisDeSade87)

Post #: 47

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 12:19:24 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

What makes a True Dom is simple if you hang a plumb bob off their nose and it bisects their genitals then they are true.

(in reply to SirWAX)

Post #: 48

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 5:10:41 PM

Constrictor1

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline

Archer, I thought all I had to do was use all caps in my name to be a dom.....damn

Constrictor1

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 49

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 5:48:20 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarquisDeSade87
in less technical terms yup

In fewer words. In clearer language. In more precise terminology. Yup.

GreedyTop are smart.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MarquisDeSade87)

Post #: 50

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 9:58:38 PM

MarquisDeSade87

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline

Thanks red Now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside makes me want to yell orders and hit things
*walks off to do just that*

_____________________________

It is not God I question but the falibility of mans perception, interpretation and understanding of God,-Myself

Whip or paddle?- a Dom's Dilemma

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 51

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 10:09:19 PM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline

i always heard that a Dom without a sub was just a lonely man with a bag of strange toys.

if you twist words around you might as well be saying that any man that has a bag of strange toys must be a true Dom. that just isn't the case. he could just be a kinkster.

so i think you should ask yourself, what it takes to have someone Dominate you. then see if you can find somebody that comes close or excedes your expectations. just a thought.

just keep being your "true self" and you'll find one another.

_____________________________

~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 52

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 10:14:28 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

yes.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to OTKkindaGirl)

Post #: 53

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 10:59:14 PM

SirWAX

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/3/2006
Status: offline

Hmm, interesting. Thank you for the responses OTKkindagirl and Leatherist.

So the fact some do not have 'toys' or a sub, makes them not a true Dom in your opinions. *nods* okay, what if One is Her/His true self and does not wish to find another? Does that make them any less of a Dom in your opinion?

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 54

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 11:01:11 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirWAX

Hmm, interesting. Thank you for the responses OTKkindagirl and Leatherist.

So the fact some do not have 'toys' or a sub, makes them not a true Dom in your opinions. *nods* okay, what if One is Her/His true self and does not wish to find another? Does that make them any less of a Dom in your opinion?

Anyone can have relationship *potential*.

But that is all it is, until you also have *someone*.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to SirWAX)

Post #: 55

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 11:04:42 PM

SirWAX

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirWAX

Hmm, interesting. Thank you for the responses OTKkindagirl and Leatherist.

So the fact some do not have 'toys' or a sub, makes them not a true Dom in your opinions. *nods* okay, what if One is Her/His true self and does not wish to find another? Does that make them any less of a Dom in your opinion?

Anyone can have relationship *potential*.

But that is all it is, until you also have *someone*.

So for You, being a Dom is solely a relationship status?

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 56

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 11:08:47 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirWAX

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirWAX

Hmm, interesting. Thank you for the responses OTKkindagirl and Leatherist.

So the fact some do not have 'toys' or a sub, makes them not a true Dom in your opinions. *nods* okay, what if One is Her/His true self and does not wish to find another? Does that make them any less of a Dom in your opinion?

Anyone can have relationship *potential*.

But that is all it is, until you also have *someone*.

So for You, being a Dom is solely a relationship status?

After twelve freaking years real time, I know better than to call myself a "dom" when I don't have a sub. I'm only a pervert with ambitions if I don't have real flesh under my control.

And any other pervert who thinks otherwise is sadly deluded.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to SirWAX)

Post #: 57

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 11:10:38 PM

Juliannadelion

Posts: 869
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: circusofthedamned
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raziyalale

greetings,

have been reading alot of emails lately and alot of them seem to say maybe your ex was not a "true Dom" am new to this site and only a year in the lifestyle so am wondering what makes a true Dom?

am looking forward to reading peoples thoughts.

I believe it depends on the slave dear Raziyalale.

My relationship with my first dominant also ended. I also heard alot of people say he was not a 'true' dominant. After much discussion, and thought, I believe this answer incorrect. He was very much a 'true' dominant. Just not for me. As much as it pained me to admit.

I do not believe, we should subject each other to such judgements. Who am I to judge the domination of another slave? As long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual, and you are happy, then, he is the true dominant for you.

I needed to wait for a Lord that would find my adoration uplifting, not drowning. That would find my need to bleed, ertoic and not frightening. That would love how I can take a beating and still beg him for more. Instead of being horrified at what he had created. I needed a Lord that would understand that sometimes I am a 'bad little girl'.

Does every slave need this? No. Does that make them any less a slave? No. It just makes them a slave, that is not what my Lord desires. He is still a true dominant, and the slave a true slave.

The people in the vanilla world spend so much time trying to fit us into pigeon holes. To classify us as less or weird or sick, because, we love differently.

I do not know why we have to do it to each other.

Take care. I do hope you find all that you seek and more.

To please and be pleasing to Him. Always, in all ways.

(in reply to Raziyalale)

Post #: 58

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 11:13:49 PM

SirWAX

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirWAX

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirWAX

Hmm, interesting. Thank you for the responses OTKkindagirl and Leatherist.

So the fact some do not have 'toys' or a sub, makes them not a true Dom in your opinions. *nods* okay, what if One is Her/His true self and does not wish to find another? Does that make them any less of a Dom in your opinion?

Anyone can have relationship *potential*.

But that is all it is, until you also have *someone*.

So for You, being a Dom is solely a relationship status?

After twelve freaking years real time, I know better than to call myself a "dom" when I don't have a sub. I'm only a pervert with ambitions if I don't have real flesh under my control.

And any other pervert who thinks otherwise is sadly deluded.

So how do You get a sub, if You are not a Dom? What do you call it in the in between times, if You have had any, in Your 12+ years?

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 59

RE: what makes a "true Dom" - 7/29/2008 11:18:24 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I'm going to trim this down. Starting for a newb in this is shitty. Get your ass to a real time community and learn from real people. It's not going to happen here. Once you actually KNOW something that isn't purely philisophical-and have some confidence-you can weed out the players from the real girls.. But the net is a shit place to start. Half the women are either silly fantasy seekers who will never get off of thier asses in front of a computer-some are fucktard males posing as females-and the rest won't touch you with a ten foot pole without some actual experience.

And the only way for a new top to get that is to pay your dues.

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 7/29/2008 11:20:19 PM >

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to SirWAX)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: what makes a "true Dom"

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109