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RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 3:24:46 PM   
samaraqzetax


Posts: 58
Joined: 7/17/2008
Status: offline 		Ummm guess she should've "got it" then....being violent is a good reason to cut someone lose

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Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 3:27:10 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

I'm confused....
If he's a FTM, then why would he want a lesbian (or expect that a lesbian would want someone who identifies as male?)


there are many many dynamics within the lesbian world.  most common is the butch-femme dynamic.  sometimes the butch actually goes further and becomes FTM.  many of these FTM do not complete transition and often just take testosterone and have hysto and top surgery...because the female to male sexual reassignment surgery is not as advanced as male to female srs.  female to male srs is also 5 times the cost!


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RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 3:29:10 PM   
samaraqzetax


Posts: 58
Joined: 7/17/2008
Status: offline 		I agree...The FTM surgery is also not very convincing when you see the results


_____________________________

"My Hero's: People who are not afraid to NOT conform to peoples and societies expectations. People who are true to themselves and don't give a fuck what other people think!"

myspace.com/lil_tg_sub

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 3:31:58 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: samaraqzetax

I agree...The FTM surgery is also not very convincing when you see the results



and not many people can pay $60,000 for it....compared to the 10-20K for mtf.


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I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 3:32:47 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
But I do wonder, and hopefully this isn't a thread hijack, how people feel about whether this information should be revealed or not.


That's a great question. I read a quote some time back from a M2F transsexual who was asked that question and replied that they did not spend all that money, time and effort to change their appearance just to tell a someone that they were born a guy. There wasn't a photo along with the article but it was suggested that this individual looked very convincing.

If there was something about me that I could reasonably assume would be an issue for the majority of folks out there I would be up front about it. Much like you, the deception would probably bother me more than the biology of the matter.

Well, alright - maybe not.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 3:47:18 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Not every one is mature enough to see the truth of a situation, and will blame it on something entirely unrelated.

quote:

ORIGINAL: samaraqzetax

Ummm guess she should've "got it" then....being violent is a good reason to cut someone lose

(in reply to samaraqzetax)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 3:47:19 PM   
kittencaboodle


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not sure what, if anything, I could add to this discussion. For the record, I'm in the early stages of transitioning.

I don't really care about "passing," but it does sting a little when you get the stares, the whispers, the laughing.... I'd agree with the poster that said, "acceptance is the big issue here." That's really all i want, just to be accepted for who I am, what's in my head, and to be treated like the slave girl that I am...

With that in mind, I've met some truly lovely people here on CM, and I am just thankful for their support, their friendship, and the fact that they... wait for it.... accept me for who I am.

(in reply to Evility)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 4:32:41 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		To discuss Denver, in specific...

This is the leather/fetish community which puts on Thunder every year. I strongly doubt that the community there will bat an eyelash at you having "something extra." There might be a few individuals who might have a problem with your TG status, but you'd get that just about anywhere. (Hydrogen, stupidity, and jerks being the three most common elements in the 'verse.)

If you really want an informed, current opinion, why not pop over to the other side, search trans in Denver Colorado, and write to a few of the women there? Try contacting Marla... she's someone who's opinion I'd definitely respect on this topic. :)

(in reply to kittencaboodle)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 6:04:42 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		what do you call somebody that is going through hormone therapy, dressing as a woman at a place of business, but in the community dressing as a man?

just wondering. i have no problem with anybody being "different". We are all different. That is what makes us unique.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 6:06:53 PM   
g1024


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/27/2008
Status: offline 		One has to be accepting. They are who they are. Just as we are who we are. If our kinks were brought to light in the Neilla world we would  be ostracized. Same with a tg or TV. It is a sad commentary but true.
Gregory

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 6:27:21 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I have had the privledge to meet some really unique individuals *nods to all of them reading this thread*.
I have my own experiences and bias and prejudice, but I tend to think of people as they are, as they present themselves.

As long as the person is respectful of me, I will give them the same respect in return.  People are themselves on the inside, the outside physical stuff is just window dressing... and like any other window dressing, it can be changed without altering the contents inside.

I really, really hope that makes some kind of sense..my mind is on vacation tonight.

Oh, and LT.. don't you worry about those scary, awful penises... just send them my way, I'll deal with them (lol)

Lady Jag

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(in reply to samaraqzetax)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 7:42:24 PM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: samaraqzetax

Question I have is, is this: How supporting is the BDSM community towards, PASSABLE transgendered individuals? I'm not talking about those individuals who call themselves "cross dressers", "sissy boys", or anything else of the like, only true trans individuals, taking hormones and living and passing as their perceived gender full time, whether it be female or male. Secondly, would you be willing to develop a relationship with such a passable trans individual whether beyond simply "friends?
Please don't flame this post, as it is a ligitment question.



Since you have shown yourself to be very biased against those you do not consider to be "true" (through your posts in this thread) why should you expect acceptance?  If you is not accepting of others who are different from you, why would you expect acceptance yourself?
 
Tasha

(in reply to samaraqzetax)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 7:49:42 PM   
angelicbitch


Posts: 224
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with Christine I accept them on the person not what orientation they are or sex they are. It doesn't and shouldn't matter. They are human beings who have feelings like everyone else. And thus should be respected.

Peace

Angelic

(in reply to tasha_tart)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 8:01:03 PM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: samaraqzetax
May be, but Im not asking this question for them, I'm tring to target a very specific portion of the community.


The lines you're drawing really don't make much sense, unless what you're really asking is how kinky people are likely to respond to you personally.  If that's your question, the answer is that some will be interested in what you have to offer and some won't.  There will be more who are not interested than there are those who are interested, which puts you on about the same footing with pretty much everyone else.

In answer to your first question from your original post to this thread, the BDSM community is only a "community" in the loosest possible sense of the word.  We are a collection of groups and individuals who have kink in common but very little else.  Some kinky groups and individuals are accepting of differently gendered people and some are not.  A group that is supportive of the passable transgendered is likely to also be supportive of transexuals, non-passable transgendered, and cross-dressers and sissy boys. 

In answer to your second question, yes, I could develop a more-than-friends relationship with a passable transgendered partner if she was compatible with me in other ways - stuff like straightforward in communication, low-drama and low-maintenance with no expectation that I will do girly things with her.  I'm not a girly girl, and have no interest in girly things.  If you're asking about you specifically, I'd be really put off by your expressed dislike of cross-dressers, sissy-boys, etc.  I kind of understand where it's coming from.  It sucks to be stuck into some pidgeonhole and have people make assumptions about you based on their experiences with people who may be superficially like you but with whom you have little or nothing in common.  Been there, done that.  However, you don't gain acceptance for yourself by throwing those other people under the bus.

(in reply to samaraqzetax)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 10:32:44 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i have found that the events i have gone to have been very accepting of those who are gender disphoric. i find the atmosphere of the groups in general are very open. i address the individual as they present themselves the ones i have made Friends with have stated it is more relaxed and open where they can be their true self.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 10:43:29 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
But I do wonder, and hopefully this isn't a thread hijack, how people feel about whether this information should be revealed or not.


That's a great question. I read a quote some time back from a M2F transsexual who was asked that question and replied that they did not spend all that money, time and effort to change their appearance just to tell a someone that they were born a guy. There wasn't a photo along with the article but it was suggested that this individual looked very convincing.

If there was something about me that I could reasonably assume would be an issue for the majority of folks out there I would be up front about it. Much like you, the deception would probably bother me more than the biology of the matter.

Well, alright - maybe not.



I bolded the parts above for what struck me.  If I'm going to have a relationship with somebody, I want to know some key things about their history.  My Master deserved to know that alcoholism runs in my family and that I have struggled with alcohol myself in the past.  He deserved to know that I also suffered from severe depression in the past.  I wanted to know if there were any key issues in his past that significantly contributed to who he is today.  We deserve to know those things about each other.  We deserve to know what we have struggled with, and what we did about it, and how it affects who we are today.  To leave something out as big as that would be a critical ommission to me, and enough to break my trust.  I don't care how much money someone spent on operations, therapy, or whatever - I want to know who I am sharing myself with.  I deserve to know.

Conversely, I need to be completely honest with someone I am sharing myself and/or giving myself to.  If they don't want all of me - including what I have been through which made me what I am - then I can't go there or I'd be selling myself short.

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Good is the enemy of great.

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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 10:48:08 PM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tasha_tart

  If you is not accepting...



Oops...rather poor grammar on my part!
 

(in reply to tasha_tart)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 11:15:16 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		The community I was involved in was very accepting of all people in that it was pansexual. It wasn't accepting of idiots, dangerous practitioners, bigots and indiscreet people!

As for Me, I am more attracted to males so primarily that is the focus of My search. Given that I want one fit enough to do physical things including being a roadie ... well, a male is likely to fit that bill. However, should I find a TG who looks femme but has still got the muscle strength ... I would at least pursue the possibility! But they would have to be attracted to Me sexually which may or may not work for them!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/1/2008 11:44:33 PM   
BrazenBitch


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/11/2004
Status: offline 		assuming that someone wants only "a pure sexual relationship" is just that - an assumption. and even if they do? so what? so long as they are honest and upfront about it.

plus i would also like to point out that just because one person feels that they are fully female (or male) despite outward appearance, doesn't mean that someone else can get their mind around it when it comes to having them in their bed. that does not make anyone a bad person.

and let's say that someone has had surgery so that their outside matches who they believe that they are, but someone that they are interested in them is not interested because of who they had originally seemed to be. so what? that doesn't make the uninterested person a bad person either.

people's pyscho-sexual needs/turn-ons are very specific, and so long as it occurs between consenting adults, there really shouldn't be a problem. it would be nice if people who are demanding respect and tolerance actually would offer it as well. and when i say 'consenting', i also mean that people need to truthful with a potential partner.

and while i am biologically a woman, and a gay one too, when i was younger, i had a wide range of experiences meaning that i have been intimate - to varying degrees - with both men and women who were biologically male and female as well as men and women who were not originally. those experiences definitely confirmed for me what i like and what i don't. and i'm honest about that too. as kindly and politely as possible when i hear from someone who feels they might fall into my areas of interest, but who actually doesn't.





< Message edited by BrazenBitch -- 8/1/2008 11:48:14 PM >

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Transgendered....Whats your opinion... - 8/2/2008 12:08:07 AM   
BrazenBitch


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/11/2004
Status: offline 		while it is true that there are many dynamics in the lesbian community, and a common one is butch-femme, i would not say that it is the most common at all, just one of many. i think you're in Toronto, like me, and i have to wonder where you've been hanging out if this is all you see. what i have noticed is a lot of women refusing to fit into stereotypes (make up, high heels, dresses, etc), but i wouldn't say that this makes them butch.

and while there has been a lot of discussion about some women who have previously identified as lesbian 'suddenly' going MtF, i would also not say that this is common either. it could seem that way due to visibility of a small number of people in comparison to the large number of gay women generall. heck, how many documentaries have there been in the last few years on just this topic?

plus were they really lesbian in the first place? or were they always MtF inside (meaning that they either hadn't figured it out, or had perhaps decided to originally go with the path of least resistance), OR - and this has been the great debate - are they just completely confused? these days, anyone can be anyone they want to be. at least here in the west.

generally speaking from what i have noticed, this has been going on among younger people. there is such a fluidity these days that it is sometimes stunning. and sometimes people go back and forth between any number of identities.





(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 80
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