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Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly mentor... - 8/15/2008 1:08:42 AM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline 		To you know who... but not you.

I don't like you, you're not my friend. You and your ilk, you fear the darkness. You make rules to push the darkness back. You drive 55, or at least think I should. You make your kids and friends wear bicycle helmets and motorcycle helmets, and seat belts. You know what is best for me and mine, and you're happy to dispense that advice.

I don't like you. You fear the darkness, and you want to safety pad everything. You want kids to be seen and not heard, unless they're your kids. You want others to obey your rules for their own darned good.

No more playing out in the street until darkness and your mom force you in. No more camping out over night, just three friends and the night air, and being grown up and staying. No more being told to man up and hit back. No more being told to walk it off and stop crying.

You, and your type, you weaken what it is to be an adult. Those of us that stand on two feet and defy the night to do its worst, you fear and dislike us. We're throwbacks to an older age, more raw and primal than you want your world to be.

I have a message for you. Ready?

Fuck you. In the end, I will win. I will stand in the darkness, I will shave with a straight razor, and I will be an adult. If I fuck up, I take what I have coming, and I move on. You can lay down and moan. I will step over you. That out there, the thing you fear, that's the future coming, and it's coming like a freight train.

Go ahead, make your safe calls, make your dire warnings. Live in that fear. Me, I refuse. BDSM is scary, dark, and passionate... when it's done right. How dare you try to kill that? Go on, take me out, I dare you. You can find me over here, in the dark corner... waiting.



< Message edited by DarkVictory -- 8/15/2008 1:09:19 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 1:21:17 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I gotta say... something about your sig line contrasts with this post wonderfully.

quote:


Do not attempt at home. Trained Owner, closed relationship. Mileage may vary. This post does not replace talking to your partner. If you are pregnant, talk to your doctor about BDSM. Equipment is no substitute for experience. Void where prohibited by law


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DarkVictory)
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RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 1:23:28 AM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I gotta say... something about your sig line contrasts with this post wonderfully.

quote:


Do not attempt at home. Trained Owner, closed relationship. Mileage may vary. This post does not replace talking to your partner. If you are pregnant, talk to your doctor about BDSM. Equipment is no substitute for experience. Void where prohibited by law



Sarcasm - Look it up.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 1:26:25 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		*Grins* It's still funny. If you can't have a chuckle at it, maybe you should change one or the other.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 1:28:17 AM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

*Grins* It's still funny. If you can't have a chuckle at it, maybe you should change one or the other.


The 'sig' is *supposed* to be funny.  It's insanely stupid.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 1:30:53 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		It is funny on it's own. I just thought the contrast between the "warning label" and the post was particularly delightful.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 1:32:33 AM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It is funny on it's own. I just thought the contrast between the "warning label" and the post was particularly delightful.


Thanks.  I find the whole safety safety safety mantra crowd to be puke inducing, thus both the sig and the post

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 1:59:20 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Those who live with fear as thier master will have no other-even of themselves.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to DarkVictory)
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RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 2:05:48 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I have a different take on this.

Listen to the 'safe way', learn what risks are being taken if you don't follow  the safe way, be aware that at some point you will need to take a risk to achieve what you want, but make sure the choises you make are INFORMED choises because IF it goes wrong tough shit thats life. you are responcible for your own actions.

There is a difference between not being paralised by fear of not taking a risk and charging in blindly. The former is rational the latter is exactly what the predatorial HNG's out there are looking for the terminaly stupid to do so they can take advantage of it.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DarkVictory)
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RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 2:07:53 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		~ waves to Ravenmuse, morning! ~

I would tend to agree ... until you are fit and ready to stand on your own two feet, hold onto something.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to RavenMuse)
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RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 2:50:01 AM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline 		OK, its 5am and I'm still up after a long work session, so please bear with me here. I think this may be somewhat relevant and I need to get this off my chest...

I was watching television the other night, and along came a commercial for lawn equipment. During the spot, they showed footage of a grown man sitting on a riding mower, cutting the grass and he was actually wearing a motorcycle helmet.... I kid you not.

I've mowed lawns on riding mowers since I was 9... Trust me, its not an Indy car, people. I worry more about my toes and the spinning steel blades under my feet than my head being injured at 2 miles per hour... and I swear if someone posts some bizarre hypothetical accident scenario where its possible one can receive a head injury on a lawn mower, I'll scream so loud ...

Anyway, I remember sitting there on my couch a bit stunned at what I was actually seeing with my own two eyes, and I remember saying out loud: "That's got to be the stupidest f&%king thing I have ever seen.".. and I was right. Honestly, how did Americans go from the seemingly impossible feat of flying over-sized bombers off of an aircraft carrier in a practically suicidal mission to avenge Pearl Harbor to... wearing a helmet to mow the lawn, all within 60 years?

I'm of the opinion that never taking any chances at all pretty much condemns one to an insanely dull and dreary life. (Just ask anyone who wears a helmet to mow the lawn, as I'm sure they'll tell you they are honest and truly dead inside. ) I just don't see how it's possible one can lead a fulfilling life and yet always remain perfectly safe. I mean, I'm not a huge risk taker by any stretch, but I do believe people need balance in all things. Perhaps it would be wise for grown adults to be willing and able to trust their own instincts, choose when and where to take some risks, and perhaps even go out and break some rules once in a while. Cause that's fun. I know because I've seen me do it...

...and I have to say, I seriously think I'd welcome a violent and bloody death over the thought of strapping on a helmet every time I go out and mow the grass...

(grammar)


< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 8/15/2008 2:52:45 AM >

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to DarkVictory)
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RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 3:15:50 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		People fear me?.... Whoohoo!..... oh.... not me.... wrong kinda .dark.
Rocking thread DarkVictory... thanks you.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 3:33:21 AM   
DavidS8ist


Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

To you know who... but not you.

I don't like you, you're not my friend. You and your ilk, you fear the darkness. You make rules to push the darkness back. You drive 55, or at least think I should. You make your kids and friends wear bicycle helmets and motorcycle helmets, and seat belts. You know what is best for me and mine, and you're happy to dispense that advice.

<snip>
You, and your type, you weaken what it is to be an adult. Those of us that stand on two feet and defy the night to do its worst, you fear and dislike us. We're throwbacks to an older age, more raw and primal than you want your world to be.

<snip>Go ahead, make your safe calls, make your dire warnings. Live in that fear. Me, I refuse. BDSM is scary, dark, and passionate... when it's done right. How dare you try to kill that? Go on, take me out, I dare you. You can find me over here, in the dark corner... waiting.




You left out DMs.  Grownups needing - indeed *wanting* to have - playground attendents watching them so they don't get hurt!  Talk about infantilizing things.

Feh to the lot of it!  Do it, own it, carry the weight.

If folks are going to interact with adults, fuck with adults, do S&M with adults, then dammit, be an adult.  Children need to be watched over, not grown ups.

D.
Age quod agis.


(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 4:08:52 AM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		oh boy I so agree, I kinda live what you say, well when it comes to lots of things. I dont use safewords as such, I have met and played on first meetings, hell I have  always been a fuck on first dates kinda girl not because I am a slut but because I like sex and i couldnt give two shits what others think

. Mood takes me I will go stomping around at night and I dare some crazy motherfucker to come get me  (mind you I dont walk around at night alone I am not suicidal). And I play the same way, again though I tried to be informed, eg Sir and I love breath play we know the risks but we do it anyway.

I would rather live what life I have and be happy and have people remember me as a happy vibrant person who lived each moment, rather than a recluse who was scared of my own shadow.

I will add though that since having little people I have mellowed a little as i have their well being to keep in mind. But I hear, BDSM is dark scary and above all passionate, you cant have that if your wrapped in cotton wool


(in reply to DavidS8ist)
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RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 4:18:34 AM   
Aynne


Posts: 740
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		Me too. I am reading this this morning while browsing the local paper and there is a film tomorrow night being shown, a piece on the frigging marvelous and crazy and so not safe Hunter S.Thompson ( personal hero of mine), and the director, another so not safe type, will be there as well. The intro to the film was a tribute to fuck it, and walking wayyyy on the edge if you want any kind of life worth living. Apropos post this morning DV. I agree.  Screw the safety police. I am not here to be an example of morality to anyone.


uote]ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

Thanks.  I find the whole safety safety safety mantra crowd to be puke inducing, thus both the sig and the post

[/quote]

< Message edited by Aynne -- 8/15/2008 4:26:12 AM >

_____________________________

*Yes I know I have no profile at this time...

I looked in your eyes
Without saying a word
I told you what I am
And I hoped that you heard

~Owned and Loved by Master Sifu~

*founder of I Love Lushy Inc.*

(in reply to DarkVictory)
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RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 4:24:48 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		I mostly agree with what you are saying, sometimes it seems bdsm has gotten so watered down it is hardly recognizable.  On one thread we are told that terms like dark, evil, twisted, sick, should not be used for wiitwd.  Other times we are told that everything should be negotiated up front, safe calls, never do this or that, blah blah blah.

On the other hand, the Darwin Awards are chock full of people who made the decision to throw caution to the wind and we call them either "stupid" or "dead".

"All guns are loaded" and "pack your own chute" are admonishments to the novice.  Since this site and these message boards are not limited to the REAL folks who don't need admonishments, they will continue to be offered. 

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to DarkVictory)
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RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 4:46:04 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

I mostly agree with what you are saying, sometimes it seems bdsm has gotten so watered down it is hardly recognizable.  On one thread we are told that terms like dark, evil, twisted, sick, should not be used for wiitwd.  Other times we are told that everything should be negotiated up front, safe calls, never do this or that, blah blah blah.

On the other hand, the Darwin Awards are chock full of people who made the decision to throw caution to the wind and we call them either "stupid" or "dead".

"All guns are loaded" and "pack your own chute" are admonishments to the novice.  Since this site and these message boards are not limited to the REAL folks who don't need admonishments, they will continue to be offered. 


Unfortunately, the Darwin Awards only work on a tiny fraction of those who are 'too cool for the rules', so the rest of us are expected to clean up the consequences of their actions. 
It seems an immutable rule of the universe that the ones bragging the loudest about 'the dark side' are the first ones to run for mommy (usually in the form of the government/courts/police) when their ' One Twue Way' fantasy gets its ass kicked by reality.


Re the OP....

Don't want to wear a helmet? No problem....Have the integrity to sign a waiver refusing all forms of medical care paid for by the rest of us.

Condoms are for sissies? Put your money where your ....errrrmm...mouth is, and post a large bond up front to take care of the obvious consequences of your actions for about 18 years each. 

Gun play without precautions, no safe words for medical emergencies, no DMs, no pre negotiations on health issues etc?  Sign the waivers and take the ride... as long as you are the one absorbing all costs and all consequences for anything that occurs as a result of your fun.

Consent is for losers?  Want to ride around grabbing random women during tarn strikes?  Leave a notice with the local 911 operator refusing services when you end up with an ass full of lead or a face full of pepper spray.

Otherwise, all I'm hearing is whining.

< Message edited by Alumbrado -- 8/15/2008 4:58:36 AM >

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 5:08:53 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory
BDSM is scary, dark, and passionate... when it's done right. How dare you try to kill that? Go on, take me out, I dare you. You can find me over here, in the dark corner... waiting.

It’s all about Ol’ Time Religion for the New Order baby!

I grew up in the exciting, colorful and stimulating world of the gay leather community where this tame D/s crowd stole the SSC credo from in the first place.

I am not a fan of SSC and neither is David Stein its author as I continually remind people.  In interviews has said his “phrase has been abused and perverted in the years since it was coined.”  He never “realized what a monster we had created” and “above all, we weren’t trying to establish a fucking credo.”

For those asshole SSC flag wavers, I have a biting bit of info for you directly from the author who, like me (and Dark apparently), says that “the idea that ‘safe sane consensual’ is used to define something like articles of faith s/m newbies are expected to absorb turns my stomach, especially when the people doing the defining are the kind who do s/m at a very tame, low level of intensity and think that’s where the boundaries should be set for everyone.”

David also says, “We never intended to draw the line to leave out heavy s/m, real pain rather than symbolic pain, blood play, knifeplay, humiliation play, 24/7 Master/slave relationships, and so on. But all these things and more have come under the gun in recent years from self-righteous censors and ‘dungeon monitors’ within our community waving the SSC banner!”

If they had hetro/bi girls in the gay leatherman community, I would have gone back 15 years ago.  That was when I first started getting a real bad taste in my mouth about what is happening to the straight BDSM community.  Watching it get ‘zerged’ by ‘swinging sheep’ dressed in leather wolf’s clothing sorta’ makes me puke in my mouth almost as it does to see supposed sub/slave types exhibit no manners, respect or forum etiquette.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Alumbrado)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 5:36:14 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

Go ahead, make your safe calls, make your dire warnings. Live in that fear. Me, I refuse. BDSM is scary, dark, and passionate... when it's done right. How dare you try to kill that? Go on, take me out, I dare you. You can find me over here, in the dark corner... waiting.

I'm still an advocate of each to their own. If you want to use safety calls etc use them. If you wanna say fuck it and just live, then do that.
For me personally i am tending to lean more towards the fuck it and live way butttttttttt saying that i still have a safety call set for this weekend.


_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Safe calls, Negotiation, Safe Doms, and properly me... - 8/15/2008 5:38:32 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		too right you fricken do, and dont think I wont wade in there with my big size 8s and kick his unholy ass neither!!!

~pants~

I take this safety crap really seriously ...

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 20
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