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RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 7:56:41 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

This isn't college.  It's kinky activities and sex games.  This idea that one needs years of mentoring and education is a myth.


Believe it or not, it's not all sex, kink and games for some of us.

Dolf

Wait a second!  It isn't?  Damn!


_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 7:58:17 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Dammit and was totally ready for twister tonight

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 8/17/2008 7:59:41 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 8:05:03 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

Who trained them? Who mentored them? Where did they get thier knowledge? Someone PLEASE tell me.

Night school.
Did you earn your degree?

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 8:08:45 PM   
Surata


Posts: 110
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		A person could easily turn this around and ask what took the 30+ crowd so long to get started.  *laughing*  The best play partner I ever had was a 20 year old, and the most skilled dominant man I ever met was 18.  Age doesn't necessarily mean anything.

(in reply to Nitefalls1000)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 8:16:02 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Dammit and was totally ready for twister tonight

right leg AND left elbow green!!


_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 8:59:38 PM   
babygurlrides


Posts: 90
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline 		I hope I do  not come off as confrontational, as that is not my intent. This post reminded me about something, which I feel is relevant. Just the other night, someone very young shared something with me online that was very distressing. It had to do with her kink, and her 'duties' as assigned to her by her Domme. I felt extremely sad for her, even tho she herself told me she gets pleasure out of this particular activity. My thought was, "how can someone that young have any real idea what she wants or needs? God knows I  made poor decisions when I was young... decisions based on some false sense of  entitlement and/or need; decisions that have altered the course of my life! Life experience changes us... that is undeniable. I am nowhere near in the same headspace as I was in my 20s, 30s or even 40s! I am 51, and I am still learing about myself. I am still continuing to learn and grow. I felt sad for this young gal. Mostly, I felt anger towards her mentor. I understand that I know nothing of their personal relationship, nothing about their lives, nothing about either of them personally, and that I am not equipped to pass judgement. I am just being honest about my gut reaction. I bring this up because I find it hard to take someone seriously about their involvement in this lifestyle, when they are very young. I would not derive pleasure playing with a  young woman or man who was sexually abused as a child, and who was being driven into making decisions for their lives based soley on this damage. I will brace myself for the onslaught of criticism... but I just felt the need to respond.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 9:26:35 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurlrides
Just the other night, someone very young shared something with me online that was very distressing. It had to do with her kink, and her 'duties' as assigned to her by her Domme.


Define "very young."  If it's under 18, then as long as she's in the U.S. that's like, yeah, illegal and such. 

But I'm having trouble determining whether you're concerned because there's actual abuse going on, or if you're upset because she's younger than you... in which case, what's the point of getting involved in BDSM at all, since as you say your headspace has changed over the years... you're 51 now, by the time you hit 60 I'm sure it'll change again. 

The point I'm trying to make is that if you have a good reason to be worried, that sucks, hope it all works out, but if you're just sticking your nose in the air at the young'uns who obviously don't know anything about anything LEAST of all themselves... well then, I pity you.


_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to babygurlrides)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 10:19:35 PM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		there is a younger crowd at the club i frequent. there are a couple that are in the 'not sure stage'. then there is a 21 year old dominant that is learning from the owner. he is very capable. he posseses a dominant nature. is sadistic as hell, and does have a strong leaning towards honor and integrity. if he didnt, he wouldnt be on the staff at the dungeon. sometimes i think they just have it. of course some of the young ones have enough life experience to actually draw on. ocassionally the model maybe newer, and has a few extra miles on it.

smooches
lee

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RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 10:52:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurlrides
I hope I do  not come off as confrontational, as that is not my intent. This post reminded me about something, which I feel is relevant. Just the other night, someone very young shared something with me online that was very distressing. It had to do with her kink, and her 'duties' as assigned to her by her Domme. I felt extremely sad for her, even tho she herself told me she gets pleasure out of this particular activity. My thought was, "how can someone that young have any real idea what she wants or needs? God knows I  made poor decisions when I was young... decisions based on some false sense of  entitlement and/or need; decisions that have altered the course of my life! Life experience changes us... that is undeniable. I am nowhere near in the same headspace as I was in my 20s, 30s or even 40s! I am 51, and I am still learing about myself. I am still continuing to learn and grow. I felt sad for this young gal. Mostly, I felt anger towards her mentor. I understand that I know nothing of their personal relationship, nothing about their lives, nothing about either of them personally, and that I am not equipped to pass judgement. I am just being honest about my gut reaction. I bring this up because I find it hard to take someone seriously about their involvement in this lifestyle, when they are very young. I would not derive pleasure playing with a  young woman or man who was sexually abused as a child, and who was being driven into making decisions for their lives based soley on this damage. I will brace myself for the onslaught of criticism... but I just felt the need to respond.

Yeah I got this a lot.  It's the other side of the coin of the ones who would tell me to stop fooling myself, stop playing with fire and go back to the baby pool.  The ones who sincerely are concerned about the young lambs and rather than saying we're trying to prove ourselves, you just think we're lost and in over our heads without knowing it.

Sadly both sides ARE the same coin- robbing us of our responsibility to consent as adults and be as competent as anyone.  Your intentions and motivations may be of a more altruistic tinge, but the same result ensues.

Will this woman be submitting in exactly the same way for exactly the same reasons in her 50s than she is now?  Very likely not.  That does not in any way take away from the sincere fulfillment she enjoys now. 

_____________________________

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to babygurlrides)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 11:03:38 PM   
SlaveSimone


Posts: 95
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Denver, Co
Status: offline 		Beautifully said, Lucky. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 11:06:04 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nitefalls1000

I wanna know how all these 18/19/20 year olds are "experianced Masters/Mistresses" and the amout that call themselves "slaves".  Who trained them? Who mentored them? Where did they get thier knowledge? Someone PLEASE tell me.


Well bless their little hearts, they're just dazed and confused from watching all of those horrid kinky porns! They don't really know what they want from life, poor little lost lambs.

I figure you could ask the same think about the 18/19/20 year olds that own their own houses/vehicles and run their own businesses. Who cares how long they've been doing it- they're obviously doing something right. I knew a kid in highschool who started a lawncare business when he was 14, and had bought a truck, trailer, and whatever the hell else goes with it by his junior year.  Fricking brilliant kid businesswise- I wonder what he's doing now.


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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 11:12:21 PM   
Hisgirl2playwith


Posts: 32
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		Typicaly i am drawn towards older Masters simply because they have more life experience in general to draw on, and generally they have a higher, more stable level of maturity. Please note emphasis on generally. i am fully aware that there are those well into their 40's or 50's that couldn't spell maturity let alone define or understand it, and i really honestly try to avoid blanket statements at all costs, but unfortunately my experiences here with younger Dominants hasn't been that positive simply because they were not mature enough to handle the responsibilties of being a Dom/Master. Also what i get a lot of from younger Dominants is that they seem to have quite a large ego and they they know everything there is to know about being Dominant and as a slave i know nothing, therefore i need THEM to teach me. Please understand, i am NOT putting every single young Dominant into these categories. It's just that in my experience here, more do belong there than don't. Please please please somebody prove me wrong, like i said, i hate using blanket statements, just do it gently please. i'm not trying to be offensive, just sharing what my experiences have been like. i realize that there are young Doms/Masters out there with high integrity, maturity and the stablity and strength of Fort Knox, i just have not met them yet.

(in reply to leakylee)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/17/2008 11:24:34 PM   
babygurlrides


Posts: 90
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:


Define "very young."  If it's under 18, then as long as she's in the U.S. that's like, yeah, illegal and such. 

But I'm having trouble determining whether you're concerned because there's actual abuse going on, or if you're upset because she's younger than you... in which case, what's the point of getting involved in BDSM at all, since as you say your headspace has changed over the years... you're 51 now, by the time you hit 60 I'm sure it'll change again. 

The point I'm trying to make is that if you have a good reason to be worried, that sucks, hope it all works out, but if you're just sticking your nose in the air at the young'uns who obviously don't know anything about anything LEAST of all themselves... well then, I pity you.



Trust me when I say that I have NO desire to return to my youth! I am  happier now than I have ever been.

The girl was 20, or so she says. she appeared to be much younger.
As for the reason for my concern? Hmmm.... maybe a bit of both!

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 6:18:09 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I agree,  people shouldn't learn how to  throw a whip on their own.

Jeff


Whenever someone says something like this, I wonder how the hell the caveman with the first whip ever managed.

Here's my entire ''Mentoring/Training/Experience" on learning to play with singletails- more or less

Me: So... how does this work... I'm going to kill myself with this thing
VT: Just try like this
Me: *pop*  Ouch
VT: Ouch is the sound of learning
Me: Sweet. *wanders off popping myself in the eye*


< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 8/18/2008 7:11:38 AM >

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RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 6:33:30 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nitefalls1000

I wanna know how all these 18/19/20 year olds are "experianced Masters/Mistresses" and the amout that call themselves "slaves".  Who trained them? Who mentored them? Where did they get thier knowledge? Someone PLEASE tell me.

one word - wikipedia

that's how my oldest "discovered" BSDM


seriously, some probably experimented on their gfs/bfs during high school and now as adults, they think they have the "experience" to be "experts".  i perved a young dominant's profile after he had viewed mine and noticed (a) he was too young to think of himself as a DaddyDom and (b) too arrogant to claim "expert" in most things BDSM. 

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 6:33:36 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nitefalls1000

I wanna know how all these 18/19/20 year olds are "experianced Masters/Mistresses" and the amout that call themselves "slaves".  Who trained them? Who mentored them? Where did they get thier knowledge? Someone PLEASE tell me.


I guess it depends what you mean by 'experienced'... by the time I was 20 I had 5 years experience in the lifestyle the first portion was being 'introduced' (Given the terminology which helped Me understand feelings I'd had all My life) by an older experienced slave and attempting to run a TPE relationship (unsurprisingly I lacked the maturity at 15 to do so successfully for more than a few months)

To someone with no experience, someone with a couple of months under their belt is "Experienced", To someone with over 25 years in the lifestyle, someone with just a few years is just beginning their journey.

We ALL start somewhere, they are simply using a different 'scale' for the claim of 'experienced'.... I take it to mean they have SOME r/t experience to base their perceptions off and don't assume more than that about them.


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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Nitefalls1000)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 6:43:13 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		For all the newbie Masters out there please read and investigate what safe is. Here is a recent post of mine on endangerment sites....

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2076864/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#2076864

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 6:47:22 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nitefalls1000

I wanna know how all these 18/19/20 year olds are "experianced Masters/Mistresses" and the amout that call themselves "slaves".  Who trained them? Who mentored them? Where did they get thier knowledge? Someone PLEASE tell me.



You forget what it I like to be young.
I remember when I read the book Black Beauty... I had found my passion.  I could relate.  I KNEW I was meant to own a horse and I’d be the best owner in the word.  I knew how a horse thinks.  After all, they had the horse’s thoughts written down right THERE!!!!
 
There are stages in early adulthood where you consciously or unconsciously seek an identity and the more “outrageous” the better.
 
I am GOTH!  I am a VAMPIR! Find me a dentist to install my permanent fangs!  I MUST have memories tattooed on my skin!
 
Some people never mature.  I had an acquaintance that found her “slave heart” in her early 50’s.  She went all out.  Master had her install eye hooks in her floor so that she could tether her chain to the area while she went about her day.  I wonder where she is today.  She got in so deep she abandoned her art skills, her house, as well as her consulting business... to be “slave”.
 
So in this regard- stupidity has no age limit.   It’s an equal opportunity demon.
 
To an 18 year old.. as 25 year old is “older”  To a 50 yr old- 25 yrs old is a kid.
 
I swear.. these “age threads” are as bad as the “fat” threads.
 
(edited because I decided to type something constructive) 

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/18/2008 7:29:09 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 6:55:30 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nitefalls1000

IDK maybe I am just from a different back ground. When I was trained at the playroom I learned at NO person under 21 was allowed the same with that local scene.


They learned in an actual "playroom"??

When things happened that my kidlets and I learned that we were kinky one of them and her best friend were UMs. That was 6+ years ago. They were already experienced at being dominant. They were already experienced in some forms of "play" though I didn't ask which kinds. (Some I found out about later.) 

This is not about sex and "play" to me, though I enjoy those things. It's about being dominant or submissive. Controlling or controlled. Look at any playground (as in children's playground) and you'll easily pick out the dominant and submissives in that arena. Look at a middle school or high school and you'll see those same kids moving into the same roles and becoming quite experienced in those roles. By the time the kids hit college, they've had a lot of experience in leading and following. They may or may not have experience with various implements of kinkiness, but that's the frosting on the D/s cake. Besides, what do you *think* college students are doing? Studying French, chemistry, and English lit? I don't think so!

< Message edited by sublizzie -- 8/18/2008 6:56:14 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 7:06:54 AM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		Wow, four pages already and no flame war?

Guys, come on, you can do better.


_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 60
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