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RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 7:17:13 AM   
Chickfilet


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		Probably because so much of this is just online stuff like in the chat rooms. People who have lives and time to engage in real BDSM are not in chat rooms 24/7.
Nor do they make chatrooms the center of their world.
I have been approached and asked if I would "like a really strict Dom!" and when I said, "Yes, in real life", they ran away, without one word. All of this pseudo-online stuff makes it hard to weed out the real people..
I won't get into the argument that online is the same as real life. You can talk about eating steak, I will eat it.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 7:33:37 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I agree,  people shouldn't learn how to  throw a whip on their own.

Jeff


Whenever someone says something like this, I wonder how the hell the caveman with the first whip ever managed.

Here's my entire ''Mentoring/Training/Experience" on learning to play with singletails- more or less

Me: So... how does this work... I'm going to kill myself with this thing
VT: Just try like this
Me: *pop*  Ouch
VT: Ouch is the sound of learning
Me: Sweet. *wanders off popping myself in the eye*



Hell, i'd play wid ya...assuming you can produce a pic of you with both eyes intact. But you didnt finish the story...how long did it take you to feel confident enough to use it on someone? i watched someone pick up a singletail for the first time at about 9 pm. By 1 am he'd used it on at least 2 guinea pigs quite successfully.

Experience with the toys is not going to make or break a D/s relationship. Honesty, personal integrity, leadership, compassion and dedication will make or break one everytime. Age only factors in when you know how old a person is.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 7:43:53 AM   
DavidS8ist


Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline 		1. I'll train anyone in service to me.  I don't need nor *want* them trained because the probability is that they've been trained to do things I don't expect, want, or need from service.

2. I'll call someone "Master" the day they can show me a nationally accredited course of study and a certificate indicating they've passed and been granted the title "master of S&M or D/s or M/s or TPE or LMNOP".  I have a degree from an accredited university entitling me "master" and *I* never use the title.  Why should they?

3. I'll call someone "sir" or "lord" when they show me the relevant page citation in Burke's "Peerage" with their name and title.

4. Mine calls me "man" or "sir" or "you frakin' a-hole" depending on circumstances.  Matters not.  She obeys and knows what I expect.  Everyone else can use David.  It's probably the easiest way to get my attention.

5. As to where these others get their experience?  Who cares?  They're not in my life.  And if they are, their experience is less important than their intentions and willingness to learn.

6.  What a person calls him/herself is less important than how they present themselves. 

D.
"All of life’s big problems include the words 'indictment' or 'inoperable'. Everything else is small stuff."
- Alton Brown

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 7:51:36 AM   
DavidS8ist


Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

<snip>
Here's my entire ''Mentoring/Training/Experience" on learning to play with singletails- more or less

Me: So... how does this work... I'm going to kill myself with this thing
VT: Just try like this
Me: *pop*  Ouch
VT: Ouch is the sound of learning
Me: Sweet. *wanders off popping myself in the eye*



Two things you never learn naked:  throwing a whip and deep frying.

;)
D.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 7:54:22 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee


Hell, i'd play wid ya...assuming you can produce a pic of you with both eyes intact. But you didnt finish the story..


Erm... would you happen to be into Pirate role play at all?!? Depth  perception is entirely overrated.

As far as the singletail thing goes, I could flail around with it and not cause unintended damage after a day or two- but there's no points for style coming my way.

quote:

Experience with the toys is not going to make or break a D/s relationship. Honesty, personal integrity, leadership, compassion and dedication will make or break one everytime. Age only factors in when you know how old a person is.


Well said!




_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 8:02:08 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		hehe....i mean to say...Arrrgh...

Youll get all kinds of style points from me, as my eyes are firmly closed from the time the cuffs go on. Matter of fact, i cant stand seeing anything coming at me. Bring your blindfold up here and we'll see whatcha got.

eyes lowered (both of them)
perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 8:17:30 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nitefalls1000

IDK maybe I am just from a different back ground. When I was trained at the playroom I learned at NO person under 21 was allowed the same with that local scene.


Not everyone comes from your background.  When I was 15 I took a job in a commercial print shop and discovered, withuot any formal training, mentoring or previous experience, that I had a knack for litho photography and was able to perform those tasks better than most of the journeymen in the shop.  Within a year I was in charge of the camera area.  Damn little 16-year-old GIRL, what the fuck made me think I could call myself experienced in what was a male dominated industry and me not even out of high school.

Its by their fruits you will know them.... I would never assume someone does not have experience or skill based soley on their age or that they did not have the same educational background.  Since I would rather poke a sharp stick into my eye than to play in a public venue, I found alternative methods of gaining experience.  And just because I'm old doesn't make me any more experienced or skillful than others a fraction of my age. 

< Message edited by eyesopened -- 8/18/2008 8:21:23 AM >

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Nitefalls1000)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 8:19:16 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavidS8ist


Two things you never learn naked:  throwing a whip and deep frying.

;)
D.



Not sure about the "deep frying" part -- some of us are really into those little 'snap' burns... Now that I think about it -- the nekkid frying burns aren't that much different from those singletail "pop" marks....

CFB


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to DavidS8ist)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 10:09:04 AM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
Here's my entire ''Mentoring/Training/Experience" on learning to play with singletails- more or less

Me: So... how does this work... I'm going to kill myself with this thing
VT: Just try like this
Me: *pop*  Ouch
VT: Ouch is the sound of learning
Me: Sweet. *wanders off popping myself in the eye*

Mine went seomthing like..

S: You'll do that (re WhipBoxing)
Me:  Eep
D: Anyone who's not done this before, go over there to learn.
L: It's like rounders
Me: I've never thrown a rounders ball, I wasn't allowed to play sports at school, I was too incompetent to be safe.
L: You're ready
Me: Whaaa?
D: Ivy, you're go at boxing
Me: But I don't know what I'm doing yet, eep eeep oww... hum, if I hit myself like this, and then like this, it kinda works.

end of competition...

Me: How *do* you do this?
L2: Like this
Me: erm
L2: Or like this
Me:  Wow, this is just like baton twirling, and like tossing crops.  Yay!  *dances about twirling a whip popping ballloos, trying to improve the aiming part*

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 10:30:50 AM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		*smiling at the stories of begining young*

i'm 45.  i've been submissively trained *all* my life.  mama raised me to be a good southern girl and wait on my father hand and foot (saturdays were clean house and trim his toenails while he watched NASCAR.  literally.)....then i started learning about BDSM in real life about...8 years ago now?  something like that.  so what do i have?  a lifetime of experience?  8 years?

i know enough to know some of the things i dont like and cant do, and enough to know i dont know shit.  Daddy and TheEngineer both seem to be pretty pleased with me, though.

kitten

(in reply to IvyMorgan)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 11:17:31 AM   
spinninsweetness


Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline 		I'm 25. I dont know anythink. Can I be a twue sub now please?

_____________________________

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.- Bill Bailey


(in reply to pixidustpet)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 11:35:30 AM   
babygurlrides


Posts: 90
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline 		yes, Lucky... I agree with SlaveSimone says. You write eloquently, and you have certainly given me something to ponder, and yet another spin on the situation to which I was referring.

(in reply to SlaveSimone)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 11:43:27 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I agree,  people shouldn't learn how to  throw a whip on their own.

Jeff


Whenever someone says something like this, I wonder how the hell the caveman with the first whip ever managed.

Here's my entire ''Mentoring/Training/Experience" on learning to play with singletails- more or less

Me: So... how does this work... I'm going to kill myself with this thing
VT: Just try like this
Me: *pop*  Ouch
VT: Ouch is the sound of learning
Me: Sweet. *wanders off popping myself in the eye*



*snorts* sounds like me.. safety goggles are a good thing....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 1:10:16 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spinninsweetness

I'm 25. I dont know anythink. Can I be a twue sub now please?


i dont care about being twue.  just about being pleasing to Themselves, and isnt that what its supposed to be anyhows? 

kitten

(in reply to spinninsweetness)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 1:38:31 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:


i dont care about being twue. just about being pleasing to Themselves, and isnt that what its supposed to be anyhows?
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

Wow, four pages already and no flame war?

Guys, come on, you can do better.



I'm obviously too young to be experienced at BDSM, but I'm pretty much an 'expert' of these damned age threads by now. I think most of us have seen 'em so many times before that we've burnt out all the flames we had. Now I save my flames for more fun threads.


_____________________________



"That's the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Anyday ::wink::"



(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 1:47:27 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

People are who they are. Except for some specific, "activities" I find the concept of mentoring or training rather overrated

Jeff


Ward, you're just way too smart for a guy type person.

June


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 4:15:57 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I am happy to say i am not 18 or 19, and i am also happy to say that i wouldn't discount their lives because they aren't 30. Thank God no one told me when i was 18 that i needed years of experience to be worthwhile. I was in nursing school learning how to take care of the oldies.

As far as i can tell, age just adds icing on the cake, shine on the veneer and creaking in the limbs.You either are dominant or submissive or you are not. Age has nothing to do with that. The thing you gain with age is polish, practise and expertise. 

I have been with my Sir for two years, in my first bdsm relationship, and "training" or "mentoring" wouldn't have done a thing for me. I'm just as jealous as hell that i didn't discover bdsm when i was 18. It may have completely changed my life.

I would suggest the OP should get over himself. Just because people aren't "trained" the way he was , doesn't mean they aren't as dominant or submissive as he is. And age has nothing to do with it.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 5:31:37 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

People are who they are. Except for some specific, "activities" I find the concept of mentoring or training rather overrated

Jeff


Ward, you're just way too smart for a guy type person.

June



June, if it helps you can think of it as just a big clitorus.

Ward

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 6:46:49 PM   
Midnght


Posts: 98
Joined: 4/24/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

Well, I've recently been wondering...all the doms/Masters here who have like 25+ years in the "lifestyle" and all the sub/slaves who are relatively new...I can't for the life of me figure out how the doms/Masters got their experience.  And no one I've asked has been able to tell me.


Well I'll tell you. I don't have 25 years I have 16 but how. Well it's simple really. I was handed a book and asked to read it by my slave. She was not my slave at the time. I read the story of O and asked her if she wanted to try some of this. Now you might go whoa here but unlike some folks i'm very catious and pay close attention to details as I do and learn things. We started off slow and worked our way up from there all the while finding more info books and being gentle before being hard.
We've lived we've loved and we've grown. I was never mentored by anyone and I never expect anyone to call me Master or any such title. Those I play with now, along with my slave call me what they will as they see fit, they know I can handle myself and them without going over board etc. Thus I am called Daddy from time to time and Sir and Master and am respected by peers in my local scene.
I've even given my hand to the whip which was very easy to learn a standard crack (think back to the old high school gym days and towel snapping) learning some of the other methods I have some folks showing me the ropes and I have to work out the feel on my own. I've dabbled in play peircing recently as well and again I do not go into things unprepared and the sub was quite happy to be my first. Did I have experience, some yes, but not much I read, I learn, I test to the point of piercing myself.

This is one way those who do, learn.

Any title they give themselves well that's another topic entirely and I'll just stay quiet on that one.

Sincerely,
M

< Message edited by Midnght -- 8/18/2008 6:51:37 PM >

_____________________________

New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not common. — John Locke, English empiricist philosopher (1632-1704)

I'll lift you up like the sweetest angel, then tear you down like a whore.

(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: I WANNA KNOW!!!!! - 8/18/2008 6:47:53 PM   
Midnght


Posts: 98
Joined: 4/24/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

hehe....i mean to say...Arrrgh...

Youll get all kinds of style points from me, as my eyes are firmly closed from the time the cuffs go on. Matter of fact, i cant stand seeing anything coming at me. Bring your blindfold up here and we'll see whatcha got.

eyes lowered (both of them)
perse


Not to worry I'll spot for you dear. };>)


_____________________________

New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not common. — John Locke, English empiricist philosopher (1632-1704)

I'll lift you up like the sweetest angel, then tear you down like a whore.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 80
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