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Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:05:17 PM   
Gr33nT0p


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?

example:
If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes.  Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?

Please answer,
Would love to read the responses
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:10:37 PM   
Allondra


Posts: 68
Joined: 7/12/2008
Status: offline 		Why on earth should wiitwd be *fair*?

And yes, I realize this is the "ask a submissive/slave" room, and I am not one of those.... But, why would it not be ok for the dominant person to behave the way you're asking about?

< Message edited by Allondra -- 8/27/2008 12:11:26 PM >

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:12:08 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		From where I sit it is exceedingly fair....

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:13:24 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		My guess is if she senses you are enjoying it (ie "fondling her") that it won't be a very effective punishment.  But I guess everyone is different.

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:15:22 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Is it fair that...Is it ok for...

 
what is fair or unfair, ok or not ok are not determinations this slave makes.
 
He makes the rules and enforces them however He sees fit.

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:18:30 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		thats such an odd question and to me seems i dunno weird to ask it. Punishment is what the Dominant derives the simple fact that its punishment is what is painful

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:35:32 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Fair is often a perception.  Sometimes life isn't fair.  I have had punishments in the past that were grossly unfair.  But they were his choice.  I dealt with it and moved on, and didn't repeat the infraction that caused such punishment in the first place.

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:36:50 PM   
softpjOS


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		Personally, Mistress seperates play from punishment; however that does not mean that She is in any way limited in Her choice of punishment.  She chooses the punishment and how it is to be carried out.  And no, punishment isn't supposed to be fun or viewed as "play".. kinda defeats the purpose in my opinion. 
 
lol who said anything we do has to be "fair", and who says what is and isn't fair?  Certainly not me in our relationship. 

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:40:09 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		fr

Was thinking the same thing, what does fair have to do with it? Just because the s-type may not enjoy a certain activity, i don't think fair applies. Also is it supposed to be play punishment or real punishment? Because some use the word punishment when they might more accurately mean the word play.

heartfelt

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:45:50 PM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		A friend of mine likes to say, "Life's not fair, sissy!"  I would guess that if one is being played with during a supposed punishment it isn't really meant to be serious.

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 12:52:57 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		One of the things I hate to hear, or say is "that's not fair."  So, because I'm being deliberately obtuse, I'm going to switch out that word fair and replace it with one that doens't make me want to backhand someone.

Is it wise or unwise, to be played with during punishment?  Wow.  There's a HUGE spectrum of possiblities here ranging from hell yeah to heck no, and numerous variations in between.

Screwing up is painful.  I usually do a lot more beating myself up over my screw ups than anyone else would ever dream of doing to me for punishment.  I'm hard on myself like that.  Having a Dominant/Top/Master (Pick one) lighten the mood of the punishment with personal interaction could help ease my mindset of self recrimination.  On the other hand, playing during punishment can sometimes confuse the issue too. 

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 1:50:33 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Define "fair"

As soon as you say "fair" regarding a relationship, then you are implying that there are two parties with mutually conflicting goals which must be rationalized in some "fair" manner.  I reject the entire concept.  Mine and myself are not competing with each other.  Because we are not, there is no way for one of us to "cheat" the other.  If I had to punish mine, I would do so in the way which I best thought would modify her behavior.  If that included messing with her during the punishment, then I would do so. 

What you're talking about sounds more like some sort of play masked as punishment.  Assumign that that's true, then I'd have to go with "all's fair in love and war".

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~ - 8/27/2008 2:18:33 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p

Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?

example:
If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes.  Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?

Please answer,
Would love to read the responses



Good god thats not punishment, thats a scene! And it sounds like fun, so I don't understand the issue of fairness even playing into it.

C~

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 2:18:56 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p

Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?

example:
If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes.  Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?

Please answer,
Would love to read the responses


Is it fair?
If they want to cane or flog me during something like that; that is their perogative. It's not my place to tell them they can or can not.


edited to add:
as for being fair or not...it really does not matter what I think in that instance. All that matters is that he wanted to cane or flog me; so he does.

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 8/27/2008 2:20:54 PM >

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 2:32:08 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		You betcha it's fair.  We are talking about punishment afterall are we not?

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 2:56:46 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?

As others have said fair or unfair does not come into it.
 
quote:

Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?

It's fine. However it would for me personally not be constructive to do something i enjoy whilst punishing me. For example fondling or flogging i love so it would make the punishment less a punishment more a scene.



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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 3:33:43 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		 If I wanted my life to be fair, I'd've been a female dominant. 

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 3:38:59 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		I'm having fantasies about how "Sharon Osbourne" or "The Fruit Cake Lady", if she were still alive, would respond to this post.

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 3:41:47 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Who said anything is fair? It's not meant to be fair..at least not in my relationships...it's his choice..if he wishes to tease during punishment or do anything else to me, who am I to say it's unfair? I have a feeling it wouldn't get me very far.

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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 5:33:26 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Fair or unfair, it is up to the Dom/me.  The worse lesson I ever learned in school was in 8th grade. life is not always fair, little girl.  Might as well learn it now.  (From an extremely stressed teacher.)

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