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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 5:35:53 PM   
shiazn03


Posts: 90
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		haha, i think whether it is fair or not doesn't matter if your Dom/Master/Mistress/etc. wants to do what They want to do.

(in reply to chamberqueen)
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 5:49:20 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p

Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?

example:
If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes.  Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?

Please answer,
Would love to read the responses


Would it be fair to disobey,, as a submissive who entered the relationship agreeing to be obedient and follow the rules? One good turn deserves another in my book. Granted, I am tired and cynical tonight.....

(in reply to Gr33nT0p)
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 6:00:24 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Of course it's fair.  It is if the Top considers it so.

But it sure would not be effective, mixing punishment and play.  I'd have doubts about a Top that did that and sent an incoherent message.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 6:18:15 PM   
ashunder


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/12/2008
Status: offline 		It would absolutely be fair.  Not that it matters though.  I for one am not a huge fan of caning so a hard caning during this would be an absolute punishment for me. 

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 6:37:03 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		 
i would say if the sub enjoyed fondling or flogging it would be defeating the whole point of the punishment. But as for adding other unplesant things well that is entirely up to the D type, but as a sub I can say if my D type continally increased my punishments beyond things that were agreed uponI would not be ok with it. for eg I have to drink 10 glasses of water a day and i recieve 5 cane strokes for every glass I dont drink, that is agreed upon, but if he was continally changing the rules at his whim I would get very pissed of very quickly but then I am a fiesty girl.

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 6:48:18 PM   
alittleevil


Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p

Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?

example:
If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes.  Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?


Greetings Gr33nTOp,

I echo what others have said about "fair" not really being part of the equation in Master's household and having little, if anything, to do with punishment.

In Master's household, punishment is a deterrent, and i also share the thought that the situation exactly as you have described it sounds way too hot and fun to be an effective deterrent (least for this girl!).  However, the situation you described is an excellent example of a 'predicament' situation and those can be used as effective tools for, to use your example, teaching concentration, or simply a demonstration that life with toppish sorts isn't always "fair" :-).

Best,
aj

(in reply to Gr33nT0p)
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 6:49:27 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p

Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended?




If my dominant came to me and said your punishment for X will be Z .. then proceeded to change Z in the middle, it wouldn't take long before I didn't believe a word he says. Is that fair?

Bait and Switch isn't a good tactic to maintain trust.

If you're talking about 'play' called punishment.. then, hell ya.. distract me all ya want. ::grins::



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Gr33nT0p)
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 7:22:46 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		Just be thankful you were not forced to CHEW Bubble Gum at the same time...

(in reply to shiazn03)
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 8:21:27 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		In my opinion, it's only unfair if he promised he wouldn't.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Gr33nT0p)
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/27/2008 9:08:40 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction?

Of course it is.  Everything I do to my slave is "ok".

It may not be "fair", but it is definitely "ok."


_____________________________



(in reply to Gr33nT0p)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 6:23:03 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		 
 
there's this little mexican chihauhau voice ( from movie the aristocats, I think) playing in my head >
   "if this is torture.....chain me to the wall"
 
 
anyway  back to the topic question
 
if/when he is displeased and has had to punish me, there are no implements or playing involved.  He makes it clear in my mind that he doesn't enjoy punishing me and so would and does avoid doing anything that in another scenario he would find pleasurable or exciting ( to himself or to me ).
 
 
 

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 7:29:37 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		The other day Master did something, and i said Master that is not fair.  He said i am the Dom sweetheart i say what is fair and what is not.  I said i guess what they say is right, life is not fair.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to TysGalilah)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 7:41:50 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Since when is fondling a woman punishment?  If that is the case then Im the biggest sadist on here.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 10:28:09 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

If my dominant came to me and said your punishment for X will be Z .. then proceeded to change Z in the middle, it wouldn't take long before I didn't believe a word he says. Is that fair?

Bait and Switch isn't a good tactic to maintain trust.

If you're talking about 'play' called punishment.. then, hell ya.. distract me all ya want. ::grins::




Bita, amen.  You beat me to it.

To what others have said, I'll add, if you're truly "punishing".. ie punitive action for mis-behavior, you'll get better deterrent effect if it's somehow related to the infraction commited.   That would work for "This is what it feels like when you distract me when I'm on a task.. so Don't do it again"

If it's "training"  it can work well for her needing more practice in focusing, or relating your touch to her own muscular control.  But probably marginal use for unrelated behaviors.. cept for fun-time stuff.

Medical Tip:   Might be interested to note that this is one of those positions that can bring on "Orgasm migraine"  ..  because the larger thigh and butt muscles are really using up a lot of bloodflow and oxygen demands are high, orgasm can bring on what feels like an ice cream headache.  Can be scarey for both partners. It's harmless in general, but nice to know what it is so it isn't mistaken for a stroke. <grins>

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 12:59:39 PM   
Lasciviouslady1


Posts: 28
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

I'm having fantasies about how "Sharon Osbourne" or "The Fruit Cake Lady", if she were still alive, would respond to this post.
<snort> hahahahha

_____________________________

Be kinder than necessary
because everyone you meet
is fighting some kind of battle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you're gonna ride my ass that hard, you could at least pull my hair.....


(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 1:28:59 PM   
Bstardsbitch


Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline 		I dread to think what would happen during a punishment if i said "It's not fair" lol

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 2:37:17 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		As a Dom I would have to say.
1.)   I dont give a fuck about what you think is fair or unfair and I dont want hear you whine about it. If it was fair it would not be D/S and you knew what you were getting into before the first fuck or blow.
2.) Your conciouse / breathing and not permenentaly scared phisically and not too much mentally at the end of the punishment then you have nothing to bitch about.
Punishment is when a sub or slave shows there true collors .... sometimes those colors are very ugly and are grounds for sending them packing other times its so incredibly beautiful and you relise that you are the luckiest guy on earth and that she is worth dieing for.
But, thats just my opinion I am sure most would not agree with me.  

(in reply to Bstardsbitch)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 6:23:32 PM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening!
  Maybe the word "Fair" was misunderstood here or used incorrectly. I am not sure but what I know is that when I am punished..and yes I just was a few days ago...I would consider it "undermining my lesson" if Daddy were to tease or fondle me. Punishment to us is learning from not distracting from. And I would consider that distraction from my time of reflection. Also,to me it would confuse me as to if the punishment was a true punishment or if it was a mind trick( I hate cursing so I am not saying the f word) It would lead me to believe that the behavior that originally GOT me punished was maybe okay to do again since Daddy seems to enjoy touching or teasing me. Either way, I think it would confuse me and see him in a way as less than strict or "dom-ly" or whatever. Maybe I could say...."A negative behavior produces a swift and unpleasant response. To couple that response with positive or erotic emotions or sensations would be negating the point of the unpleasant response."
  Wow, it must be late::rubs eyes::
Love,
Zechriel 

_____________________________

Sir HighlanderME's little z

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 6:28:33 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		Emphasis Mine, not Zechriels:
quote:

Good evening!   Maybe the word "Fair" was misunderstood here or used incorrectly. I am not sure but what I know is that when I am punished..and yes I just was a few days ago... I would consider it "undermining my lesson" if Daddy were to tease or fondle me. Punishment to us is learning from not distracting from. And I would consider that distraction from my time of reflection.


Zech -
And what if your Daddy felt differantly? What if He decided that fondling you was part of what He wanted to happen?
What if He was unwilling to discuss with you why He decided to do that or what goals He was trying to meet?

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to Zechriel)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Fair or Unfair - 8/28/2008 6:42:05 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		hhmm maybe its not fair..but I enjoy doing it and if she really hated it that much she can always walk on you..but I really doubt she would..Most subs arn't that hard cored..maybe a few, But not many!

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 40
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