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What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 7:21:57 AM   
candystripper


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Status: offline 		All my adult life, I've been aware of fear/resentment/hatred among some hetersexual Men towards homosexual Men.  Yet I've not noticed it amoung any Women.
 
It seems we accept all Women...from the most-popular supermodel to the the most Butched-Out Les, as Women.  I am unaware of any girlfriend of mine who has ever expressed a fear of 'losing her womanhood' (though some have said they feared losing their 'feminity', and perhaps that's a parallel, but I don't think so.)
 
So wtf is up with hetersexual Men?  By 18 or 21, don't you pretty much 'know', as Women do, what sort of body 'turns your crank'?  Do you fear deep inside you you harbor feelings of 'latent homosexuality' and some day, some gorgeous flamer will seduce you?
 
And if it happened, how would you be any less a Man?  Gay Men as as Manly as any other Man; pretty much (with a nod to the intersexxed) if you have the parts, you're a Man..even if someone removes the parts, you're still a Man; just one who's been altered.
 
(With a nod to the ts/tv/cd's) Women I know do not wring their hands in grief when contacted by a fem lez; perhaps they missed that statement in our profiles that we are straight -- or perhaps we are gay, and delight in receiving such contacts -- but we are all of us Women.
 
Women do not form gangs which go around beating up lesbian couples, not to my knowledge, and trust me, Women are very bit as group oriented and capable of violence as Men.  So, I'm interested in comments on this phenomena.
 
Any thoughts?
 
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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 4:20:29 PM   
bipolarber


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Like most things, regaurding sex, it's a combination of nature (drives to compete and dominate) and nurture (traditional definitions of "masculinity" vs. a perceived refutation of it.)

People in general, and men in specific, are trained from an early age to see the world in an "Us or them" manner. As such, the majority, heterosexuality, becomes "us" and any deviation (bi, gay, trans, BDSM, etc.) becomes "them." In this twisted game of "strongest wins" it becomes ok to band together to beat and kill and otherwise make life hell for one of "them."

You see this sort of irrational behavior in all sorts of human interraction: remember when we all hated the French, and were slamming them for just telling us "Hey, you might not want to get involved in Iraq..."? Or pseudo christians vs. jewish... or whites vs. blacks...

It is irrational, hateful behavior. and not something anyone should be proud of.

So tell me, Candy, why do you suppose women aren't as predisposed to this sort of insanity?

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 4:29:47 PM   
Level


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Status: offline 		Many, if not most, men would rather eat broken glass than be seen as "weak", and again, many men see homosexuals as just that, weak, and as an object of ridicule. So, they lash out, sometimes verbally, sometimes with their fists.
 
I believe there is some truth to the thought that some of these guys are repulsed by something they see in themselves.

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 4:37:50 PM   
kittinSol


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Status: offline 		Bingo, Level. Homophobia stems from repressed homosexual desires. Homophobes hate that aspect of themselves... and so they transfer this hatred on to homosexuals. It's the ultimate in projection.

Thank you, Sigmund .

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 4:41:16 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


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quote:

pretty much (with a nod to the intersexxed) if you have the parts, you're a Man..even if someone removes the parts, you're still a Man


the parts are not actually removed.  they are inverted into a vagina.  at best the testies are removed and even sometimes they are not and are just pushed under skin with some srs surgeons.

for the record...genitals dont make gender.  i was born intersexed...am i a man? hardly...i cant even pass for one if i tried.  dont have the body for it either.
i only have the part because i was surgically altered at birth (as everyone here knows).

i am only male on my id cards.  because the gov't says genitals make gender.  in fact my id should say I for intersexed since i was born both.  gender is nothing to do with appearance/clothing/etc...it is a mind set, a personality trait.


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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 4:45:16 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


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quote:


So tell me, Candy, why do you suppose women aren't as predisposed to this sort of insanity?


women are brought up far differently than men.  they are allowed to think with an open mind and imagination.  not just my way or the highway.


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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 4:56:56 PM   
Aneirin


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Status: offline 		My personal thought on this is that every male and every female is naturally bi sexual, we were made to love each other, not destroy each other. Procreation is one thing, the survival of the species, but pleasure is another. Of course procreation and pleasure can be combined, but perhaps that was never meant to be the only way, else why do we have bi sexuality.

That is not to say every one in this present age is bisexual, some are and some aren't, but it is natural. Women I see as more accepting because they deal with compasion to others and that thing called feelings that most males from an early age  are trained not to have, or at least put them to the back of the mind as feelings were not what a man was to be about.

Maybe a man who professed to having feelings for another was seen to be weak in the eyes of other men and as a weakness, something to be despised as having let the side down so to speak. I feel those who are vociferous in their hatred for men who enjoy their own gender are not comfortable with their own feelings, perhaps they have a feeling they do not know what to do with as they are unpractised in understanding feelings. Perhaps they lash out because they fear the feeling that they also might possibly be one of those they hate. To be honest, hate on the magnitude of seeking out and harming people just for being different is irrational and it has to be due to themselves, not others.

Women being the feeling empathic and understanding types, can deal with things because they are not told feelings are bad. Personally, I feel women are more advanced in understanding than most males who have not changed much since  man went ' ug '

Edited to add, a homosexual man or even bisexual man deals with and is comfortable with feelings, they have explored them and come to terms with them, maybe even it is that heterosexual man is the one lacking in the advancement of human intelligence. (intelligence is not just a measure of logic and reasoning )


< Message edited by Aneirin -- 9/6/2008 5:02:25 PM >

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:00:20 PM   
Racquelle


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Status: offline 		My mother has sometimes said - Men are homophobic because they don't ever want to be in a situation where they have to say no to sex.  A joke, but perhaps more true than anyone would care to admit.

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:15:06 PM   
Raechard


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Status: offline 		There seem to be a lot of generalisations about straight men above.

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:20:18 PM   
slaveboyforyou


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quote:

It seems we accept all Women...from the most-popular supermodel to the the most Butched-Out Les, as Women.  I am unaware of any girlfriend of mine who has ever expressed a fear of 'losing her womanhood' (though some have said they feared losing their 'feminity', and perhaps that's a parallel, but I don't think so.)


Y'all accept all women?  LOL.  Bullshit.  I hear women making catty remarks about other women all the time, and that includes snipes at other women's relationship choices. 

quote:

Women I know do not wring their hands in grief when contacted by a fem lez; perhaps they missed that statement in our profiles that we are straight -- or perhaps we are gay, and delight in receiving such contacts -- but we are all of us Women.   


On this website, I agree with you.   With women in general, I've heard plenty of women express disgust at getting hit on by other women. 

quote:

Women do not form gangs which go around beating up lesbian couples, not to my knowledge, and trust me, Women are very bit as group oriented and capable of violence as Men.  So, I'm interested in comments on this phenomena.   


Capable of violence, yes.  But women do not have the propensity for violence in group settings that men have.  One of the things I learned while taking a Corrections course in college was the difference between men's and women's prisons.  Men resort to violence in disputes.  Women in prison tend to band together and shun other women.  I'm not a shrink, so I couldn't tell you why that is.  But it's what happens. 


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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:20:38 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard

There seem to be a lot of generalisations about straight men above.


We should always be careful not to paint with too broad a brush, for sure.
 
As for men "vs" women, and emotions, I'd say that women, in general, are ahead of the game, but still lacking. Sometimes greatly. I've known too many women that are very open, as long as you're talking about something they want to hear

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:22:08 PM   
kittinSol


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

With women in general, I've heard plenty of women express disgust at getting hit on by other women. 



If only they knew how lucky they are!

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:23:21 PM   
Lordandmaster


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Status: offline 		There's a lot of that, I agree, but that can't be the only answer.

I think some homophobic tendencies are inborn in males, actually--not that that's the only answer either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Homophobia stems from repressed homosexual desires. Homophobes hate that aspect of themselves... and so they transfer this hatred on to homosexuals. It's the ultimate in projection.

Thank you, Sigmund .

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:24:50 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

With women in general, I've heard plenty of women express disgust at getting hit on by other women. 



If only they knew how lucky they are!


i enjoy it....shame it only happens online and not in real life...


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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:26:37 PM   
Raechard


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Status: offline 		Indeed


I've known women who have a vile attitude to gay men usually the types that see it as a personal rejection.

I've known women who I can only describe as emotional cripples who have no heart or empathy towards others.

vial = vile

< Message edited by Raechard -- 9/6/2008 5:27:56 PM >

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:28:28 PM   
kittinSol


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Status: offline 		I like the word 'vile'. A lot.

< Message edited by kittinSol -- 9/6/2008 5:29:20 PM >

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:31:41 PM   
DesFIP


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Status: offline 		vile, not vial

I've known women to be uncomfortable with butch lesbians but not homophobia. But women, by and large, are more comfortable with touch. Women hug and kiss each other when they meet. Men are more likely to punch each other's shoulder. I think that it is the sheer unfamiliarity of male's showing each other affection that causes them upset. Sisters, or mothers and daughters, will hug after having been parted. It's much more unusual for brothers or a father and grown son to do so.

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:31:53 PM   
Raechard


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Status: offline 		It's a great word not to be confused with vial

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:32:34 PM   
NumberSix


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Status: offline 		A vial such as that which would be drunk by Dr. Jekyll or Mr, Hyde.


My mother made me a homophobic, if you get her 2 1/2 yards of gingham print, she will make you one too.

6  

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RE: What Causes Homophobia? - 9/6/2008 5:34:36 PM   
MrRodgers


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Bingo, Level. Homophobia stems from repressed homosexual desires. Homophobes hate that aspect of themselves... and so they transfer this hatred on to homosexuals. It's the ultimate in projection.

Thank you, Sigmund .

Yes, he may have hit on it there kittin as the reverse may be true in that those men who are not violent or say...socially discriminatory toward gay men have nothing to transfer and thus...find in themselves neither homosexuality or homophobia at all.

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