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How do I deal with something that was said to me but wa... - 9/21/2008 12:17:00 PM   
HotFaerieMama


Posts: 2617
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		a good friend of mine. said to me the other day ( on yim) " what would happen if i took ownership of you by force of will alone?" and this scared me and i cried. i immediately told my Master who has since then spoken with my friend. i am very upset because i trusted my friend. and thought that he would respect the fact that i am collared. i'm not sure why he said this or what his original intentions were. i am not questioning the friendship and i am very hurt.

my question is. why would someone say something like that to someone who they know is collared ? my friend tried to claim it was a joke... but i know better. and so does he.

if anyone can help me sort this out i'd appreciate it 

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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:20:15 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I'm not sure I understand why you got so upset and cried.  Do you usually deal with broken boundaries that way?  Was there a kernel of truth to what he said? 

A friend and I were joking around, and he got a little too forceful in what he said, and I told him he crossed a line and he said he realized it as soon as he said it.  Apologies happened, we moved on.  No reason for drama.


Cali


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(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:24:15 PM   
HotFaerieMama


Posts: 2617
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		back when i had first started talking to my friend i would react to him quite strongly.. but its been almost a year.. since i've heard his voice.. so i have no clue if i'd react that way or not.. there's a small small chance that he could do it.. but he said he wouldn't and i hope he dosen't... i usually don't get this upset over things like this.. .. but it touched on something.. and it really scared me...




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Wicked Wicked

dirty girl


(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:30:37 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		 
just because he talks about trying to own you by force doesnt' mean he will even if he did try it.  i think there is that whole consensuality thing and all...you could just say no and walk away.

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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:30:58 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'm confused.  You said a friend said this the other day... and in your next post you mention that it has been a year since you heard his voice.  My answer depends on what really happened here.  If he said this the other day... time will heal the betrayal wound you might be feeling.  If it happened a year ago and you haven't been taken by force and are still thinking about it... get good counsel quickly and not from a message board.

(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:34:19 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Lockit.. he said it to her on Yahoo msgr

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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:34:47 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		HFM,
Nice to see you posting again....i can sort of understand where You are coming from...In the past, i had a 'relationship' with someone who was supposed to be my 'guardian' (do NOT get me started on the whole bullshit aspect of that) anyway, that was well over a year and a half ago. And only recently have i been able to block him on YIM. He continued to treat me in negative, degrading ways.....and finally i thought to myself, "FUCK THIS SHIT!!" i deserve better than this...i deserve friends who are going to support me, encourage me, and respect my boundaries.
Not sure where things are at with You these days...If You want to talk, my cm box is open to Ya.

Kali


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(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:38:16 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotFaerieMama
back when i had first started talking to my friend i would react to him quite strongly.. but its been almost a year.. since i've heard his voice.. so i have no clue if i'd react that way or not.. there's a small small chance that he could do it.. but he said he wouldn't and i hope he dosen't... i usually don't get this upset over things like this.. .. but it touched on something.. and it really scared me...


Seriously?  It sounds like you need to re-assess your current relationship if you can be "stolen away" by the sheer will of another.  Either that or re-assess your own self-control.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:43:45 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotFaerieMama

back when i had first started talking to my friend i would react to him quite strongly.. but its been almost a year.. since i've heard his voice.. so i have no clue if i'd react that way or not.. there's a small small chance that he could do it.. but he said he wouldn't and i hope he dosen't... i usually don't get this upset over things like this.. .. but it touched on something.. and it really scared me...





Why wouldn't you fight him if he did it or let him know it was completely inappropriate? He asked a question why didn't you just say that's unacceptable and inappropriate I'm collared you need to respect that or we will no longer continue to be friends?

Just out of curiosity

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(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:45:01 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: HotFaerieMama
back when i had first started talking to my friend i would react to him quite strongly.. but its been almost a year.. since i've heard his voice.. so i have no clue if i'd react that way or not.. there's a small small chance that he could do it.. but he said he wouldn't and i hope he dosen't... i usually don't get this upset over things like this.. .. but it touched on something.. and it really scared me...


Seriously?  It sounds like you need to re-assess your current relationship if you can be "stolen away" by the sheer will of another.  Either that or re-assess your own self-control.


Cali



This was the other red flag for me.  The strong reactions from the begining... and then this.  I think there is a whole lot more here and stick with the idea of counseling. 

One cannot go around in a sense accusing another and yet resistantly open to their force.  This guy may have picked up on that and said something and then is accused and defamed and gets a talking to by her master... which is all good, unless he has been set up.

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:57:12 PM   
masterforRT


Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline 		I dunno....

You say "get lost" (or another phrase beginning with F and ending with U), push the off button on your computer and go out into the sunshine?

Being a submissive doesn't make you a doormat you know...

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 12:58:59 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You look him in the eye and say "fine, if you don't mind going to jail for kidnapping".

The truth is, that unless you want to be with him he cannot force you to despite him willing it with all his might. His will has nothing to do with your will. He is responsible for his actions, and if they are illegal, he is responsible for the consequences.

Now if you actually have a hankering to be with this dude and don't think you can stop yourself from ripping off your clothes and making mad, passionate love to him, then you lose your present relationship should you do it. 

Beyond that; if you feel uncomfortable with him now, you tell him. "Dude, your comment was uncalled for and has made me think you're an untrustworthy creep. Don't call me anymore because I don't need friends like you, nobody does".

Draw your lines and don't let people overstep your boundaries.

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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 1:07:20 PM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		I have a few Dominant friends and although I'm not currently in a relationship, they cannot make me do anything against my will.  I had one that didn't care for something I did, which I shared with him.  He said "I think I should punish you".  Um, well...I don't think so.  My response:  Hmmm.....how can you do that when I don't belong to you?   He backpedaled, cleaned up his statement and has not tried to "dominate" me again.

No one can force you to do something you don't want to do, unless you're physically overpowered by them (then you contact the appropriate authorities).  If this "friend" was serious with his statement and you feel that he can make you do something, you need delete him from your list of "friends". 



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(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 1:08:09 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotFaerieMama

a person to whom I thought was my friend . said to me the other day ( on yim) " what would happen if i took ownership of you by force of will alone?" and this scared me and i cried. i immediately told my Master who has since then spoken with this former friend. i am very upset because i trusted my former friend. and thought that he would respect the fact that i am collared. i'm not sure why he said this or what his original intentions were. i am not questioning the friendship and i am very hurt.

my question is. why would someone say something like that to someone who they know is collared ? my former friend tried to claim it was a joke... but i know better. and so does he.

if anyone can help me sort this out i'd appreciate it 


Fixed it for you.

Sounds like you dont need to communicate with this former friend any more.

C-D

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Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
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(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 1:12:41 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotFaerieMama

a good friend of mine. said to me the other day ( on yim) " what would happen if i took ownership of you by force of will alone?" and this scared me and i cried. i immediately told my Master who has since then spoken with my friend. i am very upset because i trusted my friend. and thought that he would respect the fact that i am collared. i'm not sure why he said this or what his original intentions were. i am not questioning the friendship and i am very hurt.

my question is. why would someone say something like that to someone who they know is collared ? my friend tried to claim it was a joke... but i know better. and so does he.

if anyone can help me sort this out i'd appreciate it 


Hello girl, maybe it was a joke that backfired...ITS good to see you OL again...Bounty

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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 1:17:09 PM   
phoenixrising43


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		I guess I would just block him and turn off the computer.  If someone told me they would take me by force of will alone, and then actually tried it real life...I would have to file a restraining order.

(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 1:20:12 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixrising43

I guess I would just block him and turn off the computer.  If someone told me they would take me by force of will alone, and then actually tried it real life...I would have to file a restraining order.


Which is why the old saying is wrong............ you can really only rape the willing.....

Jeff

(in reply to phoenixrising43)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 1:22:51 PM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		Tell him how you feel about it.  If he understands you did not like the comment, then let it go and move on.

(in reply to Jeffff)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 1:35:18 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotFaerieMama

a good friend of mine. said to me the other day ( on yim) " what would happen if i took ownership of you by force of will alone?" and this scared me and i cried. i immediately told my Master who has since then spoken with my friend. i am very upset because i trusted my friend. and thought that he would respect the fact that i am collared. i'm not sure why he said this or what his original intentions were. i am not questioning the friendship and i am very hurt.

my question is. why would someone say something like that to someone who they know is collared ? my friend tried to claim it was a joke... but i know better. and so does he.

if anyone can help me sort this out i'd appreciate it 

In my humble opinion? If there is still residual emotion then there is still a residual relationship. Particularly if you have reacted so strongly to something on Yahoo. I think there is unfinished business.....definitely.

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Formerly Prinsexx
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(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
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RE: How do I deal with something that was said to me bu... - 9/21/2008 1:42:10 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveIndigochild

quote:

ORIGINAL: HotFaerieMama

a good friend of mine. said to me the other day ( on yim) " what would happen if i took ownership of you by force of will alone?" and this scared me and i cried. i immediately told my Master who has since then spoken with my friend. i am very upset because i trusted my friend. and thought that he would respect the fact that i am collared. i'm not sure why he said this or what his original intentions were. i am not questioning the friendship and i am very hurt.

my question is. why would someone say something like that to someone who they know is collared ? my friend tried to claim it was a joke... but i know better. and so does he.

if anyone can help me sort this out i'd appreciate it 

In my humble opinion? If there is still residual emotion then there is still a residual relationship. Particularly if you have reacted so strongly to something on Yahoo. I think there is unfinished business.....definitely.


I agree... the solution... both dominant's reading this thread.  One most likely wouldn't like that the other could maybe have a chance to... steal her away by his will and the other... might not like being fingered as... the evil dom saying and implying things he shouldn't, then seeing the mixed signals and push me pull me thing.

(in reply to SlaveIndigochild)
Profile   Post #: 20
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