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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/26/2008 3:58:22 PM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Well, he's not Jewish also and that's a slight problem because I wind up attending services less than I would like. Other than that, he's not actively religious and that's a plus. I couldn't deal with someone pushing me to convert.

Des,

Well thats a good foundation but how do you handle the holidays on bothe sides?

CP

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/26/2008 4:38:08 PM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

having a religious match is not important between Daddy and me. He's a practicing Bhuddist and i'm a Christian (not one of those Sunday holy-rollers) but don't regularly attend as i should. He understands why i don't attend services every Sunday nor hasn't tried to "convert" to His religion. we basically keep religion far away from our relationship.

on the flipside, my pet and i keep religion out of our relationship as well.

lilgirl,

seems you have the issue under control then.

CP

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/26/2008 5:22:24 PM

Usako

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I haven't read all the pages and I'm bored so it's the only reason I'm answering, to me a religious match is an important one.

I'm an athiest and would probably have a problem being long term with someone who wasn't as well. For the main reason that, one day I might want kids and if I do I don't want them to be raised in any religious sort of way. I want them to choose on their own if they want to believe in a god or not. And if I'm with someone who is Catholic, Jewish, whatever creed they might want to start pumping the offspring's heads full of their own beliefs right from the womb.

Now of course I might find someone who is religious but is laid back enough to not be hardcore or want to force their kids to be the same religion and agree with my "let them choose" idea...if then it's all cool.

Now will I date someone who is religious? Sure, why not. As long as their not super hardcore about it. Had an ex once who bitched at me anytime I said goddamnit. It was very frustrating.

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Post #: 103

RE: D/s and Religion - 9/26/2008 5:44:35 PM

persephonee

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~FR~
in my own relationships, adult relationships, religion and personal beliefs are respected even if not in agreement. i dont know that i could tolerate someone else trying to convert me to their way of belief. we are at an impasse.
in my former relationship, my partner was opposed to abortion siting religious reasons. As my pregnancy continued and some testing was done, our differences on abortion came to a head and i knew in my heart that a certain decision that i may have had to make would in effect end our relationship instantly. i came to terms with that reality and made my decision knowing that i would be devastated AND suddenly single in one foul swoop. i was unable to change how i felt and i resigned myself to the potential reality. Luckily for everyone involved...that particular thing never came to reality.

Fast forward to present day...my um believes in God. i do not. i have discussed it with him in age appropriate ways and found his thinking to be not only in tune with his personality and to be held dear to him...(being fully aware that due to his age i could crush these thoughts with very little effort.)
So i drive him to church as often as i am able. Its a church of my choosing and one that is the least offensive to my own line of thought. It is not for me to decide for him what is right in this regard. i do explain to him often, my opinion on the matter and he explains his feelings on it to me. It is my feeling that he is his own person and i am here to keep him safe until such a time as he can do so on his own. Judging from the multiple bruises and cuts...i may be at this for a while, but it is not my place to change who he decides he is going to be. He was born into my care, but he is his own person.
Same thing when i discovered that he was vegetarian...literally refused to eat any meat of any sort anytime anywhere...even with promises of toys etc..bribing only works on the weak willed...i was forced to research how to get him protein without meat and did so until such a time as he began to eat meat. My point is that he was 2 and 3 at the time and had only been exposed to my eating habits. He made up his mind that he didnt like something...but at all...and that was that.

In the case of religious beliefs in an adult relationship, i have firm beliefs of my own and would have to consider including them in any negociations if my beliefs were at odds with his to the extent that he may try to infringe on mine...conversion, attending a church of a religion that preaches hatred or rigid ideals...that sort of thing. What i tolerate for my son and what i submit to in a relationship are two different things....either way it kinda looks like im gettin dommed from all angles.

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 12:42:36 AM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Question: How important is religion when determining a potential match for yourself?

At this point in time, it is totally irrelevant. Religion is an idea; we all hold ideas.

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 12:51:12 AM

colouredin

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Fr

I dont think 'religion' is important at all, but openmindedness to spirituality is. I am a fairly spiritual person and I have kooky routines and rituals and what not that i have gleaned from various faiths, I couldnt therefore be with someone who totally disaproved of that for whatever reason because its what keeps me sane a lot of the time.

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Post #: 106

RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 2:56:20 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

How many signs do you carry?

I'm sure the number is higher than any weal sub would ever be caught with!

Katy,

Must make for a fairly large purse!

CP

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Post #: 107

RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 3:02:31 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Calla,

Thanks for your input, but how in the hell do you keep up with such a large "family"

CP

You get used to it after a while, I guess. I can't imagine any of our family not being a part of us -- and I think I can fend off senility long enough to handle more if we find people who are compatible. Honestly, having so much variety makes it impossible to take anything for granted -- it really -requires- that each person's idiosyncrasies and assets be recognized, remembered, and reinforced -- otherwise, I think we'd just collapse under the weight of all the angst. *chuckles* (and we get enough of that from our grown kids, now in their late teens and early 20s, who are even more angst-ridden than we were as kids, if that's possible!)

CFB

Calla,

And a large load of patience I imagine.

CP

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Post #: 108

RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 3:06:01 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Ivy,

And yours would be????

CP

High Church Anglican, would be my religious orientation (very non literalist interpretation of the Bible, btw). Fairly pagan in terms of spirituality.

Ivy,

Hmmmmmmmmmmm pagan!

CP

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 3:10:49 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

Question: How important is religion when determining a potential match for yourself?

CP

The answer is varied and depends on where you are in your life at a particular moment. At present I would consider myself Christian. I have attended a nondenominational church in the past year but switched to one with more progressive teachings and views. Because my experiences have been diverse I can appreciate and respect different teachings. I do not feel compelled to convert or bemoan the beliefs that others hold. Mutual sharing is fine but I feel change comes from within. It is not my responsibility to bring anyone to God. That would assign far more control and power to me than I was ever intended to have.

However, as luck would have it I have become acquainted with someone that's agnostic. I have no problem with this and at no point have I attempted to sway his views. I believe life offers many opportunities to review the things we hold to be true. If this occurs for him that would be nice, however, I wouldn't think any less of him if it did not. I am attracted to his heart. I look for a subset of values and characteristics that I need in my partner. Whether these are gained through familial teachings, religion, or simply the school of hard knocks is not important. All relationships require some element of compromise.

Tolerance goes a long way. Often those most fervent about changing others are the very ones in need of an overhaul.

porcelaine

porcelaine,

nicely put; we each follow our ownn path on the suject / thanks for your thoughts.

CP

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 3:14:40 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: polygirl50

my master,our sub,and i are all atheists; i wouldn't have a problem playing with people of other faiths as long as they didn't get preachy.

ponygirl,

three in one house! now that is harmony!

CP

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 10:25:31 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

...Question: How important is religion when determining a potential match for yourself?...

Its not important to me unless religious beliefs may, will, or do become a stumbling block within the relationship...

E2

Any hints on how you avoid making it a stumbling block?

CP

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 10:33:54 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cruelandloving08

I think that the answer to this question does not change dependent upon whether one is a vanilla, or a member of the D/s lifestyle, or even a Gorean. Those who are very zealous, whatever their faith, tend to find it more important to be with a partner who shares their beliefs. There are exceptions... I Myself belong to a Unitarian church, where on any given day (services week round) you can find Catholics, Buddhists, Animists, Wiccans, Hindus and Muslims all sitting and having animated, respectful theological discussions with eachother. Therefore, to Me, it is important that someone I am with HAVE a faith, because I feel it gives a person a sense of direction and morality, but I don't particularly care if they share My own beliefs.

cruel,

So in sum any faith will do except those without a faith / correct?

CP

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 10:49:56 AM

catize

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quote:

Therefore, to Me, it is important that someone I am with HAVE a faith, because I feel it gives a person a sense of direction and morality, but I don't particularly care if they share My own beliefs.

I have no ‘faith’ or religion; the concept of spirituality is at best a non-issue in my life. And yet I am a moral person, I have purpose and direction.
You do make it clear that you are expressing an opinion---I get that---but it is presumptuous to assume one cannot manage to be a good and decent human unless ‘guided’ by a religious belief system.

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 10:55:21 AM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
I have no ‘faith’ or religion; the concept of spirituality is at best a non-issue in my life. And yet I am a moral person, I have purpose and direction.
You do make it clear that you are expressing an opinion---I get that---but it is presumptuous to assume one cannot manage to be a good and decent human unless ‘guided’ by a religious belief system.

50 points.
Thank you for pointing this out. It's an antiquated argument that has no bearing on ethics/morality at all.

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 11:51:25 AM

Sandyshores29718

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*fast reply*

For a partner in life its very important. For friends and play partners not at all. How could I live my life day to day with someone that would not understand my look on things because of my religion?

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 12:53:17 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

Therefore, to Me, it is important that someone I am with HAVE a faith, because I feel it gives a person a sense of direction and morality, but I don't particularly care if they share My own beliefs.

I have no ‘faith’ or religion; the concept of spirituality is at best a non-issue in my life. And yet I am a moral person, I have purpose and direction.
You do make it clear that you are expressing an opinion---I get that---but it is presumptuous to assume one cannot manage to be a good and decent human unless ‘guided’ by a religious belief system.

I think that, for some, it -is- only possible to be ethical/moral when guided by a religious belief system. Many people do not want either the responsibility or the effort involved in creating their own ethical framework and then living by it in the face of the pressure of the world around them.

I do have a path -- strange though it may be. I came to it -specifically- because it required me to do just that... it was the first time in my life that anyone ever said "unless you have developed your own code of ethics, accept it, and live by it, you are merely a puppet to the morality of others, and an individual who has not formed a personal ethical framework is much more liable to abandon those externally imposed ethics when compelled by convenience or culture." To me, a person who was actually already trying to do just that, it was like coming home.

I have to say, though, that most of the folks I meet really don't -want- that responsibility. They'd rather let someone else determine the balance of their "moral compass".

CFB

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 12:58:26 PM

Ialdabaoth

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Well, as an eschatological transhumanist, I'd say religion is pretty important to me. And transhumanism comes across pretty strongly in my kink/fetishes, so it'd be pretty much impossible for me to find someone that I wanted to be with that didn't at least find my ideals and spiritual goals interesting.

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 2:44:20 PM

catize

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quote:

I do have a path -- strange though it may be. I came to it -specifically- because it required me to do just that... it was the first time in my life that anyone ever said "unless you have developed your own code of ethics, accept it, and live by it, you are merely a puppet to the morality of others, and an individual who has not formed a personal ethical framework is much more liable to abandon those externally imposed ethics when compelled by convenience or culture." To me, a person who was actually already trying to do just that, it was like coming home

Some people are on their particular path simply because they were told it was the one to take.
I admire those who have examined whatever teachings were provided them and decided for themselves what was valid. I agree that thoughtless regurgitation of someone else’s dogma is the weaker position. It is easy to be a good person—until it’s not.

< Message edited by catize -- 9/27/2008 2:45:14 PM >

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RE: D/s and Religion - 9/27/2008 3:14:35 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
Question: How important is religion when determining a potential match for yourself?

their Religion wasn't.... their Morality was.

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