quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I think some of you guys aren't getting the essence of what Aileen said. I'm not going to do her talking for her, but I can relate to exactly what she was talking about because I feel the same way.

It's not about not communicating your basic needs in the relationship, it's about telling your dom thay you desire particular acts.  For some us, having things done to us that we ask for changes the frame of mind of the submission. For myself, I like to be used in whatever way he wants, and if I said to him "Could you please do A B and C to me", and he complied,. the whole frame of mind is different while he's doing those things because it feels as if he is now obeying me, or doing what *I* want, instead of what he wants.  This would turn my switch off immediately. 

If he askes to know my fantasies or what I would like done to me, then works those things in at some point when and how he wants, it's a little bit different.  But if he did exactly what I wanted, how I wanted,  as if I were ordering something out of a catalog, I might as well be the dominant then, and he may as well be a service top.

I personally would rather not experience a desired act, than to feel like he is doing it because I want it, because that changes the whole ball of wax for me.  For me, the desire to have no choice, and the fulfillment I get from that, is far stronger and more meaningful than the desire for some random sexual act that I might crave. 

You think all of us are topping from the bottom? No. We do have conversations with our partners when they ask us what are fantasies are, an about physical limits in scening. This is quite common in an open minded relationship where you talk about your needs, wants and limits. These are conversation that really need to take place regularly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I think some of you guys aren't getting the essence of what Aileen said. I'm not going to do her talking for her, but I can relate to exactly what she was talking about because I feel the same way.

It's not about not communicating your basic needs in the relationship, it's about telling your dom thay you desire particular acts.  For some us, having things done to us that we ask for changes the frame of mind of the submission. For myself, I like to be used in whatever way he wants, and if I said to him "Could you please do A B and C to me", and he complied,. the whole frame of mind is different while he's doing those things because it feels as if he is now obeying me, or doing what *I* want, instead of what he wants.  This would turn my switch off immediately.

***i am a bit like that....if i feel like a flogging - i kinda do not like to have to ask for it...*L*...or if i want my hair pulled - bent over a chair and taken - it is somewhat different if i have to say - hey...will You please pull my hair - and fuck me..the act itself - having a man pull me down by my hair is what i love...the surprise - the spontaneous side of it....having to ask..well - changes my mindframe, too*** 

If he askes to know my fantasies or what I would like done to me, then works those things in at some point when and how he wants, it's a little bit different.  But if he did exactly what I wanted, how I wanted,  as if I were ordering something out of a catalog, I might as well be the dominant then, and he may as well be a service top.

I personally would rather not experience a desired act, than to feel like he is doing it because I want it, because that changes the whole ball of wax for me.  For me, the desire to have no choice, and the fulfillment I get from that, is far stronger and more meaningful than the desire for some random sexual act that I might crave. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I think some of you guys aren't getting the essence of what Aileen said. I'm not going to do her talking for her, but I can relate to exactly what she was talking about because I feel the same way.

It's not about not communicating your basic needs in the relationship, it's about telling your dom thay you desire particular acts.  For some us, having things done to us that we ask for changes the frame of mind of the submission. For myself, I like to be used in whatever way he wants, and if I said to him "Could you please do A B and C to me", and he complied,. the whole frame of mind is different while he's doing those things because it feels as if he is now obeying me, or doing what *I* want, instead of what he wants.  This would turn my switch off immediately. 

If he askes to know my fantasies or what I would like done to me, then works those things in at some point when and how he wants, it's a little bit different.  But if he did exactly what I wanted, how I wanted,  as if I were ordering something out of a catalog, I might as well be the dominant then, and he may as well be a service top.

I personally would rather not experience a desired act, than to feel like he is doing it because I want it, because that changes the whole ball of wax for me.  For me, the desire to have no choice, and the fulfillment I get from that, is far stronger and more meaningful than the desire for some random sexual act that I might crave. 

You think all of us are topping from the bottom? No. We do have conversations with our partners when they ask us what are fantasies are, an about physical limits in scening. This is quite common in an open minded relationship where you talk about your needs, wants and limits. These are conversation that really need to take place regularly.

No.  I don't think anyone is topping from the bottom.  I'm not inside yours or anyone else's relationship.

I spoke of my own feelings and the headspace that it would put ME in, if I were to ask for a particular act and if he complied.  That's how it would feel to ME under the circumstances, not that you or whomever is topping from the bottom.  For me there is something lost in the submission if I am given a choice.  That doesn't mean that others have to feel the same way.

There's no one true way. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


Well, I hope that conversations about medical problems and physical limits are not a part of this "not feeling submissive if you talk about it mentality". This isnt about asking for a particular act. Its conversations with your partner that makes him aware of you mentally and physically so he can keep you emotionally and physically safe.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Tress,

One of the other advantages of having an actual cock is that one can simply slide it down a woman's throat and not even have to worry about aiming.  I passed up an opportunity to do that a while back, she was willing but as eager as she was, I don't think she could have taken it all at the time.   I may never again have the chance but making the right decision was more than worth it.

You could always practice peeing into a carafe and having him serve it to himself in a wine glass.

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

The more I read this thread the more I realize that it's pretty much hopeless and I had better just sit my ass down on that bench.

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


Well, I hope that conversations about medical problems and physical limits are not a part of this "not feeling submissive if you talk about it mentality". This isnt about asking for a particular act. Its conversations with your partner that makes him aware of you mentally and physically so he can keep you emotionally and physically safe.

Can you read? 

Where did I say that talking about things like medical problems would make me feel less submissive?

When did this thread become a topic about your dom keeping you "emotionally and physically safe?  (See thread title and op to refresh your memory).  My posts were right on topic and directly relevant to the OP subject.

I spoke about how I would feel telling him that i want a "particular sexual act" done to me and if he complied.  Then I explained myself quite politely when you basically accused me of saying that all subs who request a particular act are "topping from the bottom".   But evidently you still don't get it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

But i'm thinking the scratchy bumpy shingles we put down would feel awesome on my back.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


Well, I hope that conversations about medical problems and physical limits are not a part of this "not feeling submissive if you talk about it mentality". This isnt about asking for a particular act. Its conversations with your partner that makes him aware of you mentally and physically so he can keep you emotionally and physically safe.

Can you read? 

Where did I say that talking about things like medical problems would make me feel less submissive?

When did this thread become a topic about your dom keeping you "emotionally and physically safe?  (See thread title and op to refresh your memory).  My posts were right on topic and directly relevant to the OP subject.

I spoke about how I would feel telling him that i want a "particular sexual act" done to me and if he complied.  Then I explained myself quite politely when you basically accused me of saying that all subs who request a particular act are "topping from the bottom".   But evidently you still don't get it.

You do not have to be rude. I do get it. I am asking you questions and not implying anything.
You however inferred that we are not getting it. How did you make the leap that just because we may communicate we ask for a specific act? You said you dont like being given a choice because it makes you feel less submissive. Even if your dom requests it? Not implying, just asking.

But the next time you imply other people are not "getting it". Which is basically you calling everyone stupid, think back on how YOU felt when the.dark said the same type of mean things to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Oh, I wouldn't want to ruin it by making suggestions.  And for me, the weirder and more sick the play the better.  I get so sick of flogging and singletailing.  I want to see someone using sounds, or some damn golden showers in public, or some seriously nasty humiliation play.

What I would love to see is the sort of play people don't do because it doesn't make them look good.  If you have ever seen hard core dykes or serious leatherman play, OMFG is it hot.  Raping someone with a cross, blood as anal lube, punching, and the most intense "protocol" imaginable. 

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ORIGINAL: Rumtiger

or a hot retarded girl.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rumtiger

Fucked a midget

or a hot retarded girl.

Hey, they both should be pretty simple.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

You do not have to be rude. I do get it. I am asking you questions and not implying anything.
You however inferred that we are not getting it. How did you make the leap that just because we may communicate we ask for a specific act? You said you dont like being given a choice because it makes you feel less submissive. Even if your dom requests it? Not implying, just asking.

But the next time you imply other people are not "getting it". Which is basically you calling everyone stupid, think back on how YOU felt when the.dark said the same type of mean things to you.