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ORIGINAL: missturbation

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So much so that when someone actually just states the truth, says what they actually want .... that honesty is attacked from those above in their Ivory towers.

And herein lies the problem. Stating the truth is all well and good until it becomes too much honesty to handle. For those of us who come down from those ivory towers now and again, or who don't even reside in one at all and post from the heart judegement from above is the gauntlet we face.
I see so many here posturing about how important honesty and integrity is and yet when someone is genuinely honest and shares it is like they have committed a cardinal sin.

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(in reply to missturbation)

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ORIGINAL: softness

How M/s or D/s is something somehow sublime and spiritual, that it is better than vanilla and somehow our way of being is purer and greater than those poor mere mortal vanillas.

My kinks and perversions can beat up yours!

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• I am arrogant enough to know that I will never find anyone who is the boss of me, better than I am.  check
  
• I will never be made to do something I do not wish to do ... It might look that way, but it will never actually happen. check
  
• If I was a thin, beautiful woman who could walk into any bar and get the attention I want ... I would be as vanilla as the day is long.  check.  As long as whomever I was with held me down and brutally fucked me of course!
  

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Here is my thinking ... I know I make a pretty amazing boss of me ... I know of almost no one who I would trust to be a better one. You knew that someone with a better ego than yours would win your trust and confidence. What I KNOW will win mine is a statement like this from a partner .... " you know what, you dont need me to tell you how to run your life, because you do it great so I'm not going to pretend these things are for your good. I'm going to be honest and not spin any bull and just say they are for my benefit, because they make me happier - so would you do this for me? Oh yeah, and I trust your judgement, so when you think I *am* spouting a load of crap, I want you to tell me and do what you know is best"
 
A man/woman who is big enough to admit that, and say it to me with perfect honesty - that is someone who I would hand the reigns to - because they would know when to give the horse its head. 

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ORIGINAL: leadership527

Well, I would've happily posted a long laundry list of my failings as an individual, but at 10:54pm last night I achieved perfection. I'm expecting to ascend to a higher state of being sometime this afternoon where my M/s relationship will transform into a twue B/s relationship. The rest of you losers need to quit slacking and get with the program.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

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ORIGINAL: softness  

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I like being a heavy player because people look at me and flinch .. that turns me on.

Nothing wrong with being a heavy player though Aylee carries a good quote as her tagline that is apropros to your feeling here...something about "no, that dress doesn't make you look fat...the fact that other's people's opinions about how you look matters to you makes  you look shallow".

I enjoy the attention, here and in public, that I get because of how I look.  I enjoy that Michael too enjoys the attention that I get because of how I look. *shrugs*  Then I suppose I am shallow too. 

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Softness,

Now I love the fact that you are one firey chick who isn't looking for some dipshit on a white horse to rescue you, just remember, some pretty decent guys ALSO ride white horses, so before you shoot anyone who rides one, just make sure it really is a dipshit before you blow them away with both barrels.

Now, as for whether or not you are a good submissive, let me tell you, BSB sure as hell wouldn't be seen as a "good submissive" as those morons would define it (servile, meek, quite, no opinion) and can be hell on wheels when she gets pissed off.  She sure as hell doesn't "need" me and I have never run her life but let me tell you this, when she DOES bend her knee to me, it means one hell of a lot to me and makes all the rest of our troubles seem effortless with the glory of it.  So, when those little wankers whine and complain, just laugh at them, its really all you can do.  Then, one day when you meet someone truly worth your effort, BE the submissive you are because you have met the dominant you need.

As for honesty, there are those here and certainly on other boards who think I am a mushy panssy ass wanabee because I talk about my weaknesses and I am not stern enough and all the rest of that horsehit.  I just smile and laugh because generally, before they say that, they have to wipe the drool from their mouths.

You are intelligent, beautiful, and in my eyes, the exact sort of submissive someone who is intelligent, handsome AND talented would find to be a worthwhile challenge and an amazing partner.

Remember, the best revenge is living well.

Softness,
I guess you remind both of us of me.. *smile*


*i messed up the quotes and cant figure out how to fix them!!


< Message edited by BossyShoeBitch -- 10/11/2008 12:02:38 PM >

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to softness)

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ORIGINAL: softness

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

What makes you think that some of us don't all ready talk honestly about ourselves as much as we think is wise and useful to a bunch of folks that are basically strangers?

tammyjo .... I did not say that people didn't do it ... I wondered how many did.

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ORIGINAL: softness

Am very sorry CD that what I posted offended you, it clearly did. I hope having read what I posted later clarified it for you somewhat.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I'm still not totally convinced.  If you really think skydiving and extreme ironing (whatever that is) would satisfy the same urges that you've come to satisfy through kinky sex, most people would still say that you're in BDSM for the wrong reasons.  Or at least that you'd have serious trouble forging a relationship with a dom. 

Extreme sports cause endorphin release, the same reason people do s & m. So if endorphin release is why they're into BDSM, that's fine.

But you really can do BDSM as just a top or a bottom without needing power exchange. I can't, and you can't, but lots of people out there can. And if that's what they want, then why shouldn't they go for it? As long as both parties know and are fine with there being no power exchange, so what?

It makes her not compatible as a partner for you. But she's still compatible with lots of guys.

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Mainly I'd say the OP is confused (and probably in pain) and we're overanalyzing her comments.  I'm sure she's compatible with a lot of guys.  Who ever doubted that?  But the main thing I'm missing in everything she has said is some self-understanding.  Who is softness and what does she need to be fulfilled?  I don't need to know the answer to that, but she does.

That's why I said MOST PEOPLE would think she'll have serious trouble forging a relationship with a dom.  Someone who really believes that she'd have a completely different attitude about interpersonal relationships if she hadn't been shy and unpopular in her formative years--and that's what she said, after all--is someone who hasn't really figured out who she is and what she needs.  That's the kind of person that OTHER people steer clear of ... if they want some sanity in their relationships, at any rate.

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ORIGINAL: softness

pats Ivory Morgan gently ... passes cake .... and hopes she is having a restful weekend

bedtime for this one .... before the students start partying and it gets too noisy to sleep!

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I thought, all and all, a pretty good OP like most of softness's threads even if she needs to work on a less snobbish and more mature presentation. It would be a shame if what has been an interesting discussion was detracted by that.

But you see, MR...part of the problem is that some of us get real tired of the snobbishness and immaturity and arrogance;  especially when it comes from one who, in a thread regarding youth and inexperience, took many of us to task for daring to think that many times the problem with younger people was snobbery, flippancy, immaturity and arrogance.

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Mainly I'd say the OP is confused (and probably in pain) and we're overanalyzing her comments. 

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ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Well, perhaps some people are simply better than others, through no fault of either side.

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Because you're asking for perspective.  If you ask for people's perspectives, you get them (if they bother to respond at all).  And then you do with them what you wish.

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"Don't judge me! It's my job to judge you!"

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ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth
Well, perhaps some people are simply better than others, through no fault of either side.

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Well, perhaps some people are simply better than others, through no fault of either side.

That's not what I am saying and given your posting history, I am not surprised you would try and put it in those terms.

The only people in this world who are better than you are the one's that you think are better than you, not because they actually are, but because you think they are.