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FAMILY - 10/10/2008 3:50:35 PM   
enlightenedFK


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		I just had a situation with my Master right now we are in a LD relationship, that has made me think i need to do some reassing in areas.  One thing he did was misled me on how sadistic he was.  I have accepted that with not too much problems, but my youngest son who is in the military is home on leave for 2 weeks.  He informed me i was to still not lessen the amount of attention i am giving to him and to the training he is instiling in me.  This  means my i get little actual quality time with my son. 

Today i had asked permission to go get groceries and as my son had plans for later we did not wait to get a email back i have no other way to contact him as he was at work.  He called me later i told him i had went to go get groceries he asked if i had read the email first i admitted i had not.  He told me he would call back in a few minutes and give me my punishment for not waiting. 

I feel i need time with my son he is young and will not stay here with me much he will go off with his friends.  I do not want to have to give up what little time i do have with him to do research during this time.  I feel my son should be allowed  to take precedence at this time.  Am i so wrong to want this? 

enlightened spirit(FK)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 3:56:55 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Is this an internet-only relationship or have you actually met in person?  That will make a difference on my answer.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to enlightenedFK)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 3:58:40 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP..okay based on your profile this all appears to be online. It doesn't matter what I or 100 other people on the boards tell you. If you need more time with your son then I think you need to tell your Master. I don't know the dynamics of your relationship but in my opinion, your Master is not taking into account or does not care about your son and if he doesn't care about him and the importance of you being able to spend time with home while he is home for a couple weeks then it would make me question how much he really cares for and about my welbeing. 

Just my opinion only. 

(in reply to enlightenedFK)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 3:59:35 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Is this an internet-only relationship or have you actually met in person?  That will make a difference on my answer.


Cali

Not in mine......

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 4:01:16 PM   
MAMandSlave


Posts: 110
Joined: 8/15/2008
Status: offline 		You don't say how old your son is. If he is young enough to need his mother, ie below 18, then it is important to prioratize him. However if he is an adult, and your relationship with your master is your priority, then follow his directions. Your master is asking you to choose between him and your family. Time to make a choice.

(in reply to enlightenedFK)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 4:07:15 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Old proverb:

"A son in hand is worth 2 Masters in the bush."

Any questions? 

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to MAMandSlave)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 4:11:44 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Is this an internet-only relationship or have you actually met in person?  That will make a difference on my answer.
Not in mine......


Okay, Pimpette, follow me here for a sec...

1.  Have met in person, have a relationship, happen to be in different states:  I would have a frank discussion about the importance of family, what it means to me, and what it means to the master, and based on the results of that discussion, decide whether I was staying in the relationship.

2.  Never having met in person:  I would re-assess why I was forsaking my son for the commands of someone thousands of miles away that I had never met, and re-assess why I was in that sort of relationship.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 4:12:43 PM   
nwcutie102


Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline 		son first.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 4:13:26 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MAMandSlave

You don't say how old your son is. If he is young enough to need his mother, ie below 18, then it is important to prioratize him. However if he is an adult, and your relationship with your master is your priority, then follow his directions. Your master is asking you to choose between him and your family. Time to make a choice.

Why?  Wouldn't a caring Master want her to be happy?  Wouldn't He be confident enough to allow her to have both a family, and a relationship; particularly when her son is only on military leave for two weeks?  i would find this sort of behavior petty.  It sounds shallow, insecure, and a bit "wankerish" to boot.  A Master shouldn't have to have a tantrum and act out with attention seeking behavior like the most rotten three-year old to get  obedience.  It would have the opposite effect on me.  There are  ways to inspire obedience, and absolute trust ...and being a brat dressed in Dom's clothing doesn't come close to being one of them.

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to MAMandSlave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 4:20:42 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MAMandSlave

You don't say how old your son is. If he is young enough to need his mother, ie below 18, then it is important to prioratize him. However if he is an adult, and your relationship with your master is your priority, then follow his directions. Your master is asking you to choose between him and your family. Time to make a choice.



Your kidding, right?  It doesn't matter how old he is, he is there for a couple of weeks and she wants to see him.  If he is so all important that he can't work that out, to me that is a problem.  Generally when people try and make you choose between them and your family it's a bad sign.

To the OP, you mentioned that he had already mislead you once.  Now you have this.  I would suggest you keep your eyes open and pay attention.

K

< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 10/10/2008 4:22:20 PM >

(in reply to MAMandSlave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 4:43:40 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, will EVER take precedence over my family.  This has the potential of becoming abusive if it is not already.  I wish you the best!

lovingpet 

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 5:58:33 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MAMandSlave

You don't say how old your son is. If he is young enough to need his mother, ie below 18, then it is important to prioratize him. However if he is an adult, and your relationship with your master is your priority, then follow his directions. Your master is asking you to choose between him and your family. Time to make a choice.



Which is a COMPLETE no-brainer. Family comes first and I dont give a damn if your son is 8 or 28 or 38. You dont turn your back on your kids for some 'Master' because he wants to play email tag and believe he is all big and bad.

Errgh. On that note, I will stop typing now because just the thought of 'having to make a choice between a man and my kid' pisses me off to the nth degree.






_____________________________

'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

(in reply to MAMandSlave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:09:10 PM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		  That's not sadistic. Sadism, while it makes me cry at the time, I'll look back on with ...sexiness.

Clearly, this man doesn't understand how important family is, or he gets his jollies with a darker kind of sadism: the kind that drowns kitties and ruins women's self-esteem.

It's time you choose your priorities. A man who you only know through the ones and zeros? Or a family who loves you unconditionally, who will never punish you for going to the grocery store to feed them.

We can't make that choice for you, but pretty much everyone not in your situation would make one particular choice.

_____________________________

~*~ The amalgam of Exquemelin and Katie978~*~
In the forums, it'll usually be Katie you're speaking to.
testing
"That's the plan/ Rule the world/ You and me/ Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:13:09 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		I am in agreement with a lot of the responses here.  From a mom's perspective, I would pay attention to that great big red flag that the "master" is waving.  Either you devote the same amount of time that you have to a man that is far far away, or you enjoy the visit from the real-life son that is home on leave, and will be going back to a profession that presents the real-life possibility of never coming home again.  If it were me, the choice would be simple.  Unplug the computer, put the cell phone on silent, and make the most of my child's visit.  But it's not my choice to make.  That's on you, dear OP.  I wish you well.

_____________________________

Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

(in reply to laura2161)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:13:36 PM   
coupleowl


Posts: 473
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline 		Family > Internet.

This guy doesn't sound like much of a Dom to me.

(in reply to ExKat)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:21:41 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I can't write a civil email regarding this. If your Master was mine, i would have personally kicked him to the curb. That is me. As Sir tells me, Do the right thing. What is the right thing for you to do, cherish moments with your son, who is on military leave or follow this person you call master.

(in reply to ExKat)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:26:05 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		 
I would have talked about this kind of thing before becoming his submissive.

If he's not ok with you spending some time with your son, then maybe he's not the right one for you.

And then he wants to punish you for going out for groceries, before waiting for his email?  Is this something you want to live with?

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to enlightenedFK)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:27:03 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		One mom to another...this should not even be a question for you to ask. Your son comes first..period.

If I met a man who was as the type of man you describe he'd be gone in a heartbeat. I wouldn't even be questioning my decision.

Any man I am with would realize that my child is the most important thing in my life. While my Master would be just as important to me he would not even think of making me choose....he may give me suggestions or make me think about my actions and such..but would not give me a command to not spend time with my child. That would be way way over the line for me.

Maybe it's time to rethink not only your relationship but also why this was not a no-brainer for you.



(in reply to coupleowl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:29:31 PM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

I can't write a civil email regarding this. If your Master was mine, i would have personally kicked him to the curb. That is me. As Sir tells me, Do the right thing. What is the right thing for you to do, cherish moments with your son, who is on military leave or follow this person you call master.


If ANYONE forced me to choose between them or my family, it would be a no-brainer.   The twit would be gone.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: FAMILY - 10/10/2008 6:47:55 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		This won't be a popular answer but I will give it anyways. Your child is the most important person in your life. Do not allow someone to come between you, especially since you do not see him often. It sounds like your "master" has a some growing up to do. Inform him that your child comes first and see how he reacts, I'm sure it will not be pretty. Then decide if you want to continue with this M/s relationship or jeopardize the one you have with your son.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to enlightenedFK)
Profile   Post #: 20
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