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RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 10:12:21 AM

Dwingeloo

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline

I’m relatively new to this site and I’m still learning the protocols. But no matter what kind of site I’m on, I thought it would be ordinary decency to expect a reply from someone I’d been communicating with a few times if only to say, “No thanks, I don’t think it can work out.’ Or is it part of the game for emails to go unread for weeks despite pleading for a reply?

(in reply to JustDarkness)

Post #: 581

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 10:41:39 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

Maybe you'd rather read the 29 page thread for insights rather than revive a 4 month old thread? Just saying...

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Dwingeloo)

Post #: 582

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 10:47:12 AM

SacreBleu

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/29/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Maybe you'd rather read the 29 page thread for insights rather than revive a 4 month old thread? Just saying...

- LA

I see reviving old threads as a total no win situation. If someone starts a thread they get told to go read old threads. If someone revives an old thread they get asked wtf they were doing reviving an old thread.

As always when someone complains about a thread I wonder why they didn't just skip reading it, be it the topic or the poster that causes irritation. Is it just a part of human nature, to react to something that irritates rather than just ignore? I see this happen all over the forum.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 583

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 10:52:39 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I think it is because the regulars have seen every permutation of question there is and the worst questions are the ones like the OP asks, about non response.

It gets a bit tiresome to always tell adults that no response, equals no interest.

What else can one deduce from no response? You can try and change your profile or style of communicating but really, no one on a website is required to behave in any manner that YOU think they should, as in life, you just go with the flow here.

And have little expectations, a sense of humor and then your time here could be fun, at the very least.

(in reply to SacreBleu)

Post #: 584

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 10:55:31 AM

SacreBleu

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/29/2010
Status: offline

Maybe. But its only a 4 month old thread! Its not like it was dredged up from 8 years ago and it a topic that had no interest. Obviously since it went to 29 pages it was something that at least SOME people thought of interest.

I just dont get the hostility or the cutting attitude toward so many of the new posters here.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 585

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 10:57:24 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Maybe you'd rather read the 29 page thread for insights rather than revive a 4 month old thread? Just saying...

- LA

I see reviving old threads as a total no win situation.

As it should be.

quote:

If someone starts a thread they get told to go read old threads.

If someone starts a thread they get told to go read old threads. Really? All the time? I just looked down the first page of General BDSM discussion today and that advice was not given once. I did see someone answering the OP and being told "oh and btw, there are also many disussions on this topic that might interest you". Ok, so it was a small sample but completely random! That was a pretty broad sweeping statement, no?

quote:

If someone revives an old thread they get asked wtf they were doing reviving an old thread.

And that is what I did. It wasn't like he started a new thread, unable to find information, and then I chastized him for it. What I said was "look, there are 29 pages of information that might answer your question, right there at the click of a mouse, and you chose to restate the question to revive what was obviously a ridiculously uncessarily long debate over a very simple, one dimensional question."

quote:

As always when someone complains about a thread I wonder why they didn't just skip reading it, be it the topic or the poster that causes irritation. Is it just a part of human nature, to react to something that irritates rather than just ignore? I see this happen all over the forum.

Same here. You'll find posts I made yesterday saying exactly that. What I was doing here was pointing out good forum etiquette.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SacreBleu)

Post #: 586

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 10:57:50 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Oh oh - theres an old thread about that too!

(in reply to SacreBleu)

Post #: 587

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 10:59:59 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu

Maybe. But its only a 4 month old thread! Its not like it was dredged up from 8 years ago and it a topic that had no interest. Obviously since it went to 29 pages it was something that at least SOME people thought of interest.

I just dont get the hostility or the cutting attitude toward so many of the new posters here.

Not sure where LA was hostile..in any case, if you are offended by perceived hostility on forums, it may not be a place for you.

(in reply to SacreBleu)

Post #: 588

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:06:36 AM

funnelgag

Posts: 31
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu
I just dont get the hostility or the cutting attitude toward so many of the new posters here.

I totally agree with you, SacreBleu.

The forum is an exceptionally hostile place. The aggressiveness, sarcasm and general rudeness puts me (and I'd imagine, many others) off from participating more.

Some of the regulars would need to be taken down a peg or two - maybe a yellow card/red card system might be useful.

_____________________________

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http://www.shinykicks.com

(in reply to SacreBleu)

Post #: 589

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:07:22 AM

DomMeinCT

Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Maybe you'd rather read the 29 page thread for insights rather than revive a 4 month old thread? Just saying...
- LA

I see reviving old threads as a total no win situation. If someone starts a thread they get told to go read old threads. If someone revives an old thread they get asked wtf they were doing reviving an old thread.

As always when someone complains about a thread I wonder why they didn't just skip reading it, be it the topic or the poster that causes irritation. Is it just a part of human nature, to react to something that irritates rather than just ignore? I see this happen all over the forum.

I'm answering this with no intent to be snarky or short, but simply to respond to the limitations you posed in the bold text above.

There is actually a 3rd path: do no posting and simply read the existing and extensive thread - but it only works if someone accepts that a new thread isn't needed, nor revival of the existing and extensively-beaten topic is needed.

< Message edited by DomMeinCT -- 1/31/2010 11:08:13 AM >

_____________________________

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if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
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(in reply to SacreBleu)

Post #: 590

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:09:06 AM

sappatoti

Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dwingeloo
I’m relatively new to this site and I’m still learning the protocols. But no matter what kind of site I’m on, I thought it would be ordinary decency to expect a reply from someone I’d been communicating with a few times if only to say, “No thanks, I don’t think it can work out.’ Or is it part of the game for emails to go unread for weeks despite pleading for a reply?

As many posts in this thread have stated, sometimes the non-reply is the final reply, taken to mean "no longer interested." Having written that, I can understand if the conversation had been going along for some time and there was no indication of anything going awry with it, the lack of receiving that expected reply in the fashion and timing of what had become customary for the conversation could be somewhat disheartening.

Perhaps something has happened to the other person and/or their ability to access their email system(s)? If you have any other contact info, such as a postal address or phone number, you may wish to write or call the other to find out what's going on.

Perhaps the other person no longer has an account with their usual email system and, because neither of you exchanged other email addresses or contact methods with each other, has no way of informing you of the change.

There could be any number of reasons why the other person hasn't responded, including the possibility they became bored or suspect with the direction the conversation was taking and simply chose to no longer respond. That's one of the frustrations of building a relationship online; you can never be sure of what exactly is going on in the other's mind or thoughts, or perhaps even physical condition.

_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to Dwingeloo)

Post #: 591

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:10:01 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

There is actually a 3rd path: do no posting and simply read the existing and extensive thread - but it only works if someone accepts that a new thread isn't needed, nor revival of the existing and extensively-beaten topic is needed.

Ahhhh....the voice of reason. To simply stop beating the dead horse and read what has been written.

_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DomMeinCT)

Post #: 592

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:11:47 AM

EbonyWood

Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: funnelgag

Some of the regulars would need to be taken down a peg or two - maybe a yellow card/red card system might be useful.

'Taken down a peg or two' sounds hostile to me, which you are railing against.

If you don't like something, report it. The Moderators will do their job.

Otherwise participation isn't mandatory.

(in reply to funnelgag)

Post #: 593

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:13:04 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: funnelgag

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu
I just dont get the hostility or the cutting attitude toward so many of the new posters here.

I totally agree with you, SacreBleu.

The forum is an exceptionally hostile place. The aggressiveness, sarcasm and general rudeness puts me (and I'd imagine, many others) off from participating more.

Some of the regulars would need to be taken down a peg or two - maybe a yellow card/red card system might be useful.

Try implementing that system, sparky!

(in reply to funnelgag)

Post #: 594

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:21:56 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

There is actually a 3rd path: do no posting and simply read the existing and extensive thread - but it only works if someone accepts that a new thread isn't needed, nor revival of the existing and extensively-beaten topic is needed.

"Isn't needed"? What's the actual downside?

LuckyAlbatross used to be fantastic in these situations. She would just reply with a handful of links to places where the topic had similarly been discussed.

The entire point of a message forum (as opposed to any regular website) is the ability to interact with other posters and make a discussion personal. Admonishing someone for starting a thread that's familiar to you or admonishing them for adding their own curiosities to an older thread doesn't do that.

_____________________________

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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to DomMeinCT)

Post #: 595

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:24:04 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

There is actually a 3rd path: do no posting and simply read the existing and extensive thread - but it only works if someone accepts that a new thread isn't needed, nor revival of the existing and extensively-beaten topic is needed.

Ahhhh....the voice of reason. To simply stop beating the dead horse and read what has been written.

I guess you missed the part where I discussed seeing this as an opportunity to tell a new comer about good forum etiquette.

Ok, in hindsight, I admit, I could have added a "and welcome to the boards".

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 596

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:25:06 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: funnelgag

Some of the regulars would need to be taken down a peg or two - maybe a yellow card/red card system might be useful.

'Taken down a peg or two' sounds hostile to me, which you are railing against.

If you don't like something, report it. The Moderators will do their job.

Otherwise participation isn't mandatory.

Yeah EW. This from the dude who spams Dommes with his new website asking us to look at it.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to EbonyWood)

Post #: 597

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:25:15 AM

funnelgag

Posts: 31
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Try implementing that system, sparky!

I rest my case, your honor.

_____________________________

BDSM community
http://www.shinykicks.com

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 598

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:26:57 AM

VeryMercurial

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

There is actually a 3rd path: do no posting and simply read the existing and extensive thread - but it only works if someone accepts that a new thread isn't needed, nor revival of the existing and extensively-beaten topic is needed.

"Isn't needed"? What's the actual downside?

LuckyAlbatross used to be fantastic in these situations. She would just reply with a handful of links to places where the topic had similarly been discussed.

The entire point of a message forum (as opposed to any regular website) is the ability to interact with other posters and make a discussion personal. Admonishing someone for starting a thread that's familiar to you or admonishing them for adding their own curiosities to an older thread doesn't do that.

This is how I feel also, and if you are "tired" of a topic, just don't answer it.
No one is forced to answer threads they are not interested in.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 599

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 11:27:47 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: funnelgag

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Try implementing that system, sparky!

I rest my case, your honor.

You have no case. You can't handle the grown up party? Go sit at the kiddie's table. Play nice now.

(in reply to funnelgag)

Post #: 600

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