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RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:04:10 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		Well, this has been a great dialogue, and that is what many of us enjoy.
Nothing may ever come of any of these dialogues but they are nice to have.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 641
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:05:56 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Well skipping over the comments I don't like would make this one little sanitized board where nothing advances. I actually think that an open and honest debate of ideas makes us evolve. I actually wrote a thread about this if you are interested.

- LA


But surely a post engaging in open and honest debate would be a comment that you would like, whether or not it disagreed with you?
I don't have to agree with you all the time to get you to like me, do I?


Well I'm not sure anymore. You think I'm strange because I do not put sugar in my tea! I think you are a sugarlessophobe! I'm going to take all those email correspondances and flag them as discrimination! ;-p

quote:

I personally wouldn't equate skipping posts I don't like with not engaging in debate...


Me neither. Some people aren't worth my pixels ;-)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 642
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:06:22 PM   
SacreBleu


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/29/2010
Status: offline 		I never said that you were hostile. That was my second or third comment on this thread and it was posted to someone else actually.

The basic fact is that when newbies bring up an old thread (and I don't put a thread only a few months prior as 'dead') they almost always get told they shouldn't have done that. Yet if they ask a basic question they are directed to old threads!

The person that revived this thread had what I consider to be a very basic question. He/she chose to use a slightly aged thread that touched upon the concern rather than start a new thread. That should have been okay to do since there is nothing saying that bringing out a thread from a few months ago is verboten.

That led to my feelings about how too many newbies here are treated, with tired lines of ' if you don't like it post somewhere else' 'grow a thicker skin' both of which have been said to me a few times in this thread which tickled me.

Others agreed with me. Others disagreed.

But nowhere did I say that LA is hostile to newbies.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 643
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:07:28 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu

But nowhere did I say that LA is hostile to newbies.

Although, with that cane in her hand, I can imagine where one might think that...



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(in reply to SacreBleu)
Profile   Post #: 644
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:07:34 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Our opinion doesn't matter because thread necromancy is a no no here. The mods will send you a warning. It's their board and they want new threads.





_____________________________

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I give good thread.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 645
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:08:27 PM   
SacreBleu


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu

But nowhere did I say that LA is hostile to newbies.

Although, with that cane in her hand, I can imagine where one might think that...




Cane?? All I saw were legs that go on forever, there is a cane in that pic too?

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 646
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:08:58 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Well skipping over the comments I don't like would make this one little sanitized board where nothing advances. I actually think that an open and honest debate of ideas makes us evolve. I actually wrote a thread about this if you are interested.

- LA


But surely a post engaging in open and honest debate would be a comment that you would like, whether or not it disagreed with you?
I don't have to agree with you all the time to get you to like me, do I?

I personally wouldn't equate skipping posts I don't like with not engaging in debate...




But that is the problem at hand...people immediately dislike posters who either disagree with them, don't reply as they wish they would, or have a different sense of humor.

Instead of being adults and being able to debate with people with differing opinions, they run to the mods to report posters as being "mean".

The other issue is interpretation of intent and posting style. Some people react quickly and don't get what the poster is saying. I have done that myself. And some people will never agree with or like another poster's words or styles. That is life.

I am also mystified as to why people are afraid to post. What is there to be afraid of? We all started here as new posters, what is the worst that can happen?

Are you so fragile that if you are flamed, you are going to kill yourself? I mean, really, come on now.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 647
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:09:54 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu

They are allowed to think they are witty and funny because so very few stand up and say something. Often when someone does say something, they close ranks.

Luckily I don't care what the forum regs think of me!

If enough people stand up and say that the behavior is out of line, maybe then there will be an influx of new and good posters.


I'll offer another option instead: How about taking part more often in the OP's thread and responding only to those with whom you wish to discuss the topic?  Skip over the comments you don't like and respond only to those you think are valid.



Well skipping over the comments I don't like would make this one little sanitized board where nothing advances. I actually think that an open and honest debate of ideas makes us evolve. I actually wrote a thread about this if you are interested.

- LA


I agree with you, LA.  I certainly wasn't advocating for everyone that they skip over posts, only for those that found certain others' comments troubling, and to encourage them to post at all.  Part of the argument here is that certain folks feel cut out of the boards.   (And thank you for the link to your thread.)

_____________________________

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if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 648
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:10:01 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu

I never said that you were hostile. That was my second or third comment on this thread and it was posted to someone else actually.

Good. I'm glad we got that cleared up.

quote:

The basic fact is that when newbies bring up an old thread (and I don't put a thread only a few months prior as 'dead') they almost always get told they shouldn't have done that. Yet if they ask a basic question they are directed to old threads!

The person that revived this thread had what I consider to be a very basic question. He/she chose to use a slightly aged thread that touched upon the concern rather than start a new thread. That should have been okay to do since there is nothing saying that bringing out a thread from a few months ago is verboten.

I think I addressed this already.

quote:

That led to my feelings about how too many newbies here are treated, with tired lines of ' if you don't like it post somewhere else' 'grow a thicker skin' both of which have been said to me a few times in this thread which tickled me.

That's called thread hijacking ;-) <-- notice the wink!!

quote:

Others agreed with me. Others disagreed.

That's kind of how we roll here.

quote:

But nowhere did I say that LA is hostile to newbies.

Good. And most aren't neither. People tend to focus on the incidents where this happens and ignore all the times it doesn't. But that is a human thing to do.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SacreBleu)
Profile   Post #: 649
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:10:36 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		I can totally understand why many people that read the message boards never post.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 650
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:11:21 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Why? The only reason I can think of not posting is that they have nothing to say.

(in reply to VeryMercurial)
Profile   Post #: 651
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:11:25 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu


quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu

But nowhere did I say that LA is hostile to newbies.

Although, with that cane in her hand, I can imagine where one might think that...




Cane?? All I saw were legs that go on forever, there is a cane in that pic too?


Go ahead, click on the picture for a zoom in. Don't be afraid... ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SacreBleu)
Profile   Post #: 652
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:16:20 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Why? The only reason I can think of not posting is that they have nothing to say.


That is one reason, but you can bet your last money, there are many OTHER reasons.


< Message edited by VeryMercurial -- 1/31/2010 12:17:19 PM >

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 653
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:17:04 PM   
ModeratorSixteen


Posts: 1275
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
This brings up a question: I've seen, in the past, Mods criticize posters for bumping old threads; is there anything in the TOS about this?


There have been instances in the past where people bump their own old threads to get to the top of the forum again, using that word or openly suggesting that they are doing this exact thing.That is the only time you might find moderators unbumping.

quote:

Our opinion doesn't matter because thread necromancy is a no no here. The mods will send you a warning.

Resurrecting old threads will not always gain a mod letter.

_____________________________

Freedom of expression and personal opinion is a positive input.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 654
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:17:26 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Part of the argument here is that certain folks feel cut out of the boards.

You know, that's true. And I made a point this morning of responding a new comer's first post that had been ignored for a few pages. I'm not saying that we couldn't be better at this.

The thing is, and I deal with this in my work daily working with organizations, is that as much as we need to develop a welcoming culture, individuals who enter the culture need to adapt to what is in place. When I came back here after 4 years absence, many of my initial posts were ignored. I few older posters recognized me but for the most part, I was ignored by many regulars. I just kept posting my opinions until people took notice. I also had to adapt as the boards were not AT ALL the way they were back when I used to post. But I adapted and today, I am enjoying a lively debate with people.

quote:

(And thank you for the link to your thread.)

My pleasure!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 655
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:17:47 PM   
Dwingeloo


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		Sorry, but I'm not very forum savvy.  It looked like a well-used/well read(?) thread.  Sorry to irk so many people. I'm outa here!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 656
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:19:25 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dwingeloo

Sorry, but I'm not very forum savvy.  It looked like a well-used/well read(?) thread.  Sorry to irk so many people. I'm outa here!


You irked no one and most of this was not addressed at you. You are more than welcome here. If you want to leave, suit yourself. But if you want to stay, welcome to the boards.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Dwingeloo)
Profile   Post #: 657
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:19:25 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Why? The only reason I can think of not posting is that they have nothing to say.


That is one reason, but you can bet your last money, there are many OTHER reasons.



Oh, I know that...that is why I wrote post # 646 and I still have no reply as to what is so scary here about posting and being disagreed with, unless you have real mental issues.

(in reply to VeryMercurial)
Profile   Post #: 658
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:20:15 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorSixteen
quote:

Our opinion doesn't matter because thread necromancy is a no no here. The mods will send you a warning.

Resurrecting old threads will not always gain a mod letter.

I will miss your fanmail then.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to ModeratorSixteen)
Profile   Post #: 659
RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 1/31/2010 12:20:54 PM   
SacreBleu


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: SacreBleu

Cane?? All I saw were legs that go on forever, there is a cane in that pic too?


Go ahead, click on the picture for a zoom in. Don't be afraid... ;-)

- LA


Oooooooh there is a skinny cane there! I never would have noticed it (sorry!) if someone hadn't told me. Wonder, if I screwed up the quotes..

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 660
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