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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 3:10:05 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

I'm talking about the "your needs will never matter to me", "you are inferior to me so get used to it", "don't even think you are worthy of my time" type of Dommes. I'm talking about Dommes who want gifts and tributes simply because they call themselves Dommes. They exist, and some subs crave them, but to me, it's over the top.

Hope that helps clarify my thoughts.

Mmyessss - seen lots of those. Some, I think, want to weed out the plethora of emails from flakes, I've assumed. "You're inferior to me, so get used to it" goes without saying for a Domme - I'd expect it. Even a fair amount of "your needs will never matter to me" goes with the territory. A Domme who wants gifts and tributes is a pro-Domme to me and I don't 'do' pro-Dommes. My fantasies are way better than they could ever be and I can do my fantasies for free.

Contra the media stereotype of Dommes as cold man-haters (Stella's right on that image, I think) I never assumed they were really like that. As you say, no doubt there are plenty of other subs who don't mind the cold b***h type and even like it. But the bottom line is lack of fondness for men and lack of fondness for this man in particular. I see that, I'm gone.

_____________________________

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(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

Post #: 21

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 3:16:18 PM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Agreed...I mean...sure I want to be an object...but an object of affection...

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I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 22

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 3:45:12 PM

OneMoreWaste

Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

As a domme have you ever felt objectified, fetishized, or perceived as a sexual object through being who you are?

Yes, of course, and I don't necessarily mind.

Finally!
I see so many people (98% Female) complain about being fetishized/seen as a sex "object", but oddly enough none of them ever wants to trade...

_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

Post #: 23

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 3:55:06 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I don't 'do' pro-Dommes. My fantasies are way better than they could ever be and I can do my fantasies for free.

How about doing my fantasies for free?

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 24

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 4:03:36 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

How about doing my fantasies for free?

If You ever get across to Sussex.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 25

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 4:04:07 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!?!?!

ok!

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(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 26

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 4:10:39 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

You might want to check my journal if you're bored and have a moment. It needs a lot of polish, but the raw beginnings, anyway. Well, practice makes perfect, as they say.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 27

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 4:45:49 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

As a domme have you ever felt objectified, fetishized, or perceived as a sexual object through being who you are?

I would say that the bulk of Cmail is from people who believe its just the kinky sex or fetish.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
How frequently have you come across such attitudes or even 'do me' submissives?

At least once a day

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
How much do you feel this is influenced by images of dominant women portrayed in the media?

I think that the media has a lot to do with the objectification of females in general, but if you think about it, it is just what sells. Sex sells.
There are not many people that are going to pay for fetish / porn which features plain looking dominant women in their jogging pants or old blue jeans.
This is what most people are exposed to at first... pictures
Then the opinions form. Some keep that opinion and some change.
*shrugs*
I'm not just about the kinky sex or fetish, and I'm very up front about it in My profile so I make no apologies when I don't return the cmail that isn't My style.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 28

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 4:49:28 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

You might want to check my journal if you're bored and have a moment. It needs a lot of polish, but the raw beginnings, anyway. Well, practice makes perfect, as they say.

Alas, I have promised myself a period of celibacy from the main site for two weeks. Question is, whose fantasies are we practicing? And do we care? Really, a good fantasy should never go unpractised.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 29

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 4:49:49 PM

madamekitty

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/19/2008
From: Washington, D.C.
Status: offline

I don't think I'd qualify as "over the top" (and I do know what you mean), but based on 99% of the email I get on profile sites and myspace, most guys are NOT worthy of my time!

However, I believe whole heartedly (though can't spell it) that the submissive sweeties are hiding their amongst the minions of guys just hoping for kinky sex with a hot chick in rubber/latex ... it all comes out when it's time for un-sexy stuff like ironing, being prompt, and seeing me sitting around in sweats and no makeup. :)

I think sexualization and and fetishization transcends the Domina area - and is really all women. The more attractive you are, the worse it gets. Look like Barbie - you're at risk of being raised as your mother's dress up doll. Speaking as a former dress up doll myself, I long ago decided to take up the whip and embrace the fetishization, and a bunch of rubber to boot.

_____________________________

Bondage Barbie, the Evil Kitten that kicks ass.

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 30

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 4:50:47 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

How about doing my fantasies for free?

If You ever get across to Sussex.

One thing I have to give you credit for, PS, you never let an opportunity slide by.

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 31

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 4:59:41 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

A little too much testosterone, mixed in with emotional immaturity and chauvinism. When they get older, they get a clue. :)

Waves to the delightfull Mistress Dolly.
Have i reached that age yet.

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 32

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 5:01:02 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

How about doing my fantasies for free?

If You ever get across to Sussex.

One thing I have to give you credit for, PS, you never let an opportunity slide by.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 33

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 5:52:56 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

You might want to check my journal if you're bored and have a moment. It needs a lot of polish, but the raw beginnings, anyway. Well, practice makes perfect, as they say.

Alas, I have promised myself a period of celibacy from the main site for two weeks. Question is, whose fantasies are we practicing? And do we care? Really, a good fantasy should never go unpractised.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 34

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 6:00:37 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Alas, I have promised myself a period of celibacy from the main site for two weeks. Question is, whose fantasies are we practicing? And do we care? Really, a good fantasy should never go unpractised.

I don't know the answers to those questions about fantasies, Venatrix. All I do know is that if I write a fantasy, I enjoy, but if a Domme were to write exactly the same fantasy for her own enjoyment, I'd enjoy reading that ten times as much.

But how can you leave us bereft of your company here for a whole two weeks? These boards will seem so much emptier without you. Who could possibly fill your slot?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 35

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 6:33:37 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I don't think she was referring to the boards, but to the part with all the profiles and such.

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(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 36

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 6:46:56 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

Indeed, you have it right. I would be bored without the boards.

Edited to add: You know, I think this is why I enjoy submissive men so much - the courtliness of Politesub, PforH, Elansubdued, even you, littlesarbonn - makes such a lovely change from the vanilla men out there. The fact that you let us femdoms do . . . erm . . . interesting things to you just adds to the enjoyment.

< Message edited by Venatrix -- 10/14/2008 6:50:50 PM >

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 37

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 6:52:31 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
As a domme have you ever felt objectified, fetishized, or perceived as a sexual object through being who you are?

Constantly.

What REALLY pisses me off is when Dom's start hitting on me. First, they are all sweetness and light, wanting to just talk and exchange ideas. Which is just a fun way of working around to "Have you ever submitted? I think it's an excellent way to learn to be a better Domme. Why don't you let me teach you a few things?"

To me, that is like asking me to allow them to brutally rape me... just so I can 'learn a thing or two.' And then they get all pissy at me and start beating their chests like over grown gorillas when I answer them in anger.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 38

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 7:10:11 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

Hah! I get just the opposite. The doms start out by saying they want to be friends, and the next thing I know, they're telling me they want to submit "just to see what it's like for the sub." So altruistic of them.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 39

RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/14/2008 7:29:15 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Edited to add: You know, I think this is why I enjoy submissive men so much - the courtliness of Politesub, PforH, Elansubdued, even you, littlesarbonn - makes such a lovely change from the vanilla men out there. The fact that you let us femdoms do . . . erm . . . interesting things to you just adds to the enjoyment.

Thanks for that compliment, Venatrix. Also thanks for kindly ignoring probably the rudest pun I've ever done on this board. ;-)

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 40

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