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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/16/2008 4:56:22 AM   
TermsConditions


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

You are working your way to sassmonkey status, I can tell!

Actually, I don't think most of the men get much past the cleavage...  and why should they?  That's why I chose that primary pic, after all!


Cleavage?

One's personality is the first thing that catches my eye in a photograph. 

Awesome pic. And the table-thingy you are, er, crouching (?) on is frought with ominous possibilities.

Wasn't this thread about the sexualization and fetishization of dommes?

For some reason I feeling much less enlightened than when I began reading this thread...

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/16/2008 5:59:08 AM   
PeonForHer


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Wasn't this thread about the sexualization and fetishization of dommes?

For some reason I feeling much less enlightened than when I began reading this thread...

*Chuckle*  I know the feeling . . . .

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/16/2008 7:12:57 AM   
MistressDolly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly


A little too much testosterone, mixed in with emotional immaturity and chauvinism. When they get older, they get a clue. :)



Waves to the delightfull Mistress Dolly.
Have i reached that age yet.


Please, sweet Polite, I don't think so....

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/16/2008 9:22:23 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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You would not *believe* how much mail I get asking me about that cage!!  Fabulous, isn't it?  It belongs to a former friend and dungeon partner, who had it custom made.  We needed a ladder to get onto it!

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/16/2008 9:32:50 AM   
zakkan


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How would you get out??? Tilt it over???

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/16/2008 2:19:00 PM   
PeonForHer


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Had it made?  I could have built that.  Hmm.  A possible new line of business for me, methinks.

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/16/2008 7:49:08 PM   
yourMissTress


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

I have just been fetishized, and it's all stella's fault. stella, I will find a way to make you pay.


*disarming smile*



I will hardly be disarmed by a smile...but surely that's not your intent. 


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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/16/2008 9:03:51 PM   
MissEnchanted


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Stella! Thanks for the laughs..I am humming along.

And: I couldn't help thinking:
Six Packs....
: )

ME
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
As a submissive, particularly a male submissive, have you ever felt that you have been cast unfairly in a negative stereotype or wrongly accused of being a 'do me' submissive?


Pretty much constantly

quote:

How much do you feel this is influenced by images of dominant women portrayed in the media?


I'm not generally inclined to blame things on the media. Some guys are horndogs, and they'd be horndogs if they were Dominant or vanilla, they'd just have a different pitch.


Okay, so I gotta ask... Am I the only one sitting here thinking "Lunch pack?"


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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 4:02:12 AM   
PeonForHer


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Don't you have "lunchpacks" Stateside?  Here in Blighty the term became famous when a certain Olympic sprinter became noted for his extremely tight shorts and contents thereof.  You could just about make out his religion, they were that tight. 

I think it derives from an older phrase for a standard Brit dinner that later got applied to the relevant area of a man's anatomy - his "meat and two veg". 

Always glad to help with translations of Brit slang if you need it, MissE.

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 4:31:06 AM   
MsStarlett


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Oh my!  I was also slightly lost in that translation.  I was also thinking "Six Pack" abs.  A touch lower down is far more interesting.

So Peon, are you ever going to 'flip over' for us?


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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 4:40:39 AM   
PeonForHer


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What?  "Flip over"?  What mean you, Ms S?   Are you speaking American to me now?

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 5:09:44 AM   
MsStarlett


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I could take a poll of the FemDoms who 'need' a photographic explanation of a 'Lunch Pack'... I don't think we quite grasp the concept without visual aid.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 5:27:24 AM   
PeonForHer


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Yeahhhh, as if that would get past Cme's censors. I even had to crop 10% of the bottom of the back-pic I use now to get it past them.  I didn't realise that the tops of mens' asses were 'genitalia' till I came here!


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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 5:34:29 AM   
MsStarlett


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You may feel free to send me the un-cropped version via private C-Mail and I'll let you know if I find it offensive.

Actually - it's quite funny what does and does NOT get passed the CM sensors.   I had one photo of me licking a flogger handle that got rejected.  I was just showing off my lovely, long pointy tongue.  I have no idea what was so 'sexually explicit' about that. 


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 6:07:47 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Hah!  I get just the opposite.  The doms start out by saying they want to be friends, and the next thing I know, they're telling me they want to submit "just to see what it's like for the sub."  So altruistic of them.


Well, it's that one or..."Yes, I'm listed as a Dominant, and I'm Dominant to EVERYONE, but there is just something about you that makes me want to kneel and submit..." LOL


You mean it's not just because "there's something about me.?"  LOL

Michael calls it them expecting us to be their "Fetish Delivery Device".

I had one guy this spring who was SO overbearing with his fantasies and fetishization of me that it seemed that he had every minute of my (potential) time with him mapped out.  I got barraged with all of his "writings", minute details of every fetish object he "owned but never used" and couldn't wait for me to do to him.  I am not sure I ever got the chance to speak more than a few words during any given conversation.  Not only that, the guy was wrangling for an invitation to Passover dinner with my family.   He was SO excited to meet a pretty jewish Domme who wasn't a pro.

When he arrived in town (new job)"Hi, I'm in town! But I start work next week so NOW is the best time for ME." I tried to juggle plans last minute to meet him  but I had to cancel (because of the family) twice.  I felt badly about it but he really did spring it on me. 
I got a lecture about how I never really planned to meet him and I just strung him along and how I wouldn't ever fit into his life anyway. HUH? 

*********************
Then I have a good friend of mine from here who I talk about occasionally.  He is a tall, dark, handsome, incredible body, smart (intelligent AND clever), respectful, successful professional.  He is very respectful to women and has a very good heart.  So what's the problem?    Well, he calls himself a service submissive yet he can't seem to meet the woman who fullfills all of his needs.  He can't fathom how women don't jump on the chance to have clean their houses and give them money.  "I just want to do this for them.  I just want to do that for them."  As long as they look this one certain way; OH and as long as they read my mind and don't act nice to me in any way or don't try to really get to know me in a vanilla sense at all; OH and as long as they have PERFECT feet and toes and only wear the shoes that I buy for them or that I request they wear....

So, I just listen to his Jerry Seinfeld-like life and try to give him little clues here and there like, "OMG, how dare they not have learned to read your mind.  How dare they want you do something that you don't want to do! *GASP*"    He get's it sometimes.  Until we hang up the phone and he sees a shiny pair of stilettos walking by...

< Message edited by BossyShoeBitch -- 10/17/2008 6:13:59 AM >


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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 6:35:00 AM   
OttersSwim


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You know...I think that a certain amount of sexualization and fetishization of anyone in either role can be a good thing.  It can be sexy feeling to have someone look to you in such a way I think.  I know I enjoy it when my Lady does it to me.

It is when you are suddenly transformed into Malibu Barbie's Vending Machine of BDSM Delights that it gets annoying. 

So many of us subbie men can get hung up on the fantasy of the "perfect" concept of what a Domme should be, how a Domme should be, yada yada - that we actually forget that when we finally encounter one, she is gonna be a real life girl with hopes and dreams and aspirations and intentions of what SHE wants to do to us (surprise, surprise!). 

You can make all the -well, they are boys..and you know how boys are- reasons you want, but they don't add up to a single excuse for that sort of behavior.  Most have to be slapped a time or two by reality to stop living in their head and get their feet on the ground.  While it is clearly annoying and tedious and frustrating for many of you to have to keep doing it, we thank you Ladies every time you do, for you make the world a better and safer place to live.


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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 10:39:21 AM   
Coupleofwhats


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quote:

It is when you are suddenly transformed into Malibu Barbie's Vending Machine of BDSM Delights that it gets annoying.


Haha!

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 11:09:46 AM   
Lockit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

quote:

It is when you are suddenly transformed into Malibu Barbie's Vending Machine of BDSM Delights that it gets annoying.


Haha!


I call that the Mold A Mistress Syndrome...  Can't find what you want... just mold one.  Your mistress play toy... pull the string and she does what you want her to... don't worry about bad breath, stupidity, not so nice nudity or being self consumed... mold a mistress is just for you.  She does all you tell her to!  Oh and... she can be shipped by any postal service.  Just ring one up today!

Yeah, yeah... at least ten emails a day, I get a mold a mistress request.  Some days I laugh... some days I respond by way of redhead and some days I block and hope they don't tell their friends about me.

But once in a while... I read with a smile... because someone actually has a clue!  She's real... she has a life... she has dreams and goals and all sorts of things like that... and all they want is to get to know me and not one sign of mold a mistress syndrome.  They even read the profile and journal too!

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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 11:47:52 AM   
PeonForHer


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Wasn't this thread about the sexualization and fetishization of dommes?

For some reason I feeling much less enlightened than when I began reading this thread...

 
- So says TermsConditions, rightly, in my view.


I must say, Stella, that I've been thinking more about a basic point related to Terms's point there.  The majority (no, I know not all) of the lifestyle Dommes on CMe (and virtually all the proDommes) seem to have themselves pictured in "regalia", complete with suitably hard and fierce facial expression.  Now there's no doubt about it, this certainly does have the effect on me, at least, of thinking "phwoargh" (insert your preferred approving noise).  It probably has the same effect on most subs. 

Yet, Dommes are forever complaining that their inboxes are flooded with one-line comments from subs who'd like to do x or y, or have x or y done to them.  Surely there's a connection here?  I mean, if a Domme has herself pictured with a whip, what would she expect other than a street-full of men write in saying nothing more than "whip me, yes!!" ?

There's one Domme whose profile I keep returning to, partly because she doesn't fit that pattern (though also, she lives nearby ;-)).  Her profile says she's extremely into discipline, very controlling and so forth - yet her pic shows her in an ordinary dress, looking pretty (not vampish, seductive, or glamorous - 'pretty' is the absolutely the right word), and smiling.  She does stick out a lot, I have to say - for me, anyway.  All the right characteristics for me sexually but, also - from the photo - very obviously a whole and complete woman too.  (Interestingly, she doesn't say much about her vanilla interests in her profile - but that doesn't matter.  Men are visual - we all know that - and I'm no different. Two hundred words of "these are my vanilla interests" won't have anything like the effect of a pic showing a woman as vanilla.  He'll instantly relate to her in a more vanilla way as a result, is my belief.)

So why don't the Dommes here just take the easy route towards cutting down on their junk emailers from the flaky masturbators - by dressing and posing as ordinary women?  Is it down to "Vanity, thy name is Woman"?  Could it be that vanity prevents them from doing that?  That is, Dommes here just have to look their best in a Dommish way, just as vanilla women always have to look their best vanilla-style, come what may? 

I've always thought the competition between women over appearance - Dommes, vanillas, all of them - is weird.  It's as though it was once about competing for men's attention, but that got left behind long ago.  They don't dress and act to impress men anymore, they dress and act to impress each other.  Or something.  Phuck knows.  Women are odd. This is my only firm conclusion so far.



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RE: The sexualization and fetishization of dommes - 10/17/2008 12:03:54 PM   
Coupleofwhats


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Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
I doubt it would help.
We can get hit on trying to run to the store in pajama pants, with a headful of unbrushed hair. Just looking like a person who has a vagina does the trick for many men, apparently.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Wasn't this thread about the sexualization and fetishization of dommes?

For some reason I feeling much less enlightened than when I began reading this thread...


- So says TermsConditions, rightly, in my view.


I must say, Stella, that I've been thinking more about a basic point related to Terms's point there. The majority (no, I know not all) of the lifestyle Dommes on CMe (and virtually all the proDommes) seem to have themselves pictured in "regalia", complete with suitably hard and fierce facial expression. Now there's no doubt about it, this certainly does have the effect on me, at least, of thinking "phwoargh" (insert your preferred approving noise). It probably has the same effect on most subs.

Yet, Dommes are forever complaining that their inboxes are flooded with one-line comments from subs who'd like to do x or y, or have x or y done to them. Surely there's a connection here? I mean, if a Domme has herself pictured with a whip, what would she expect other than a street-full of men write in saying nothing more than "whip me, yes!!" ?

There's one Domme whose profile I keep returning to, partly because she doesn't fit that pattern (though also, she lives nearby ;-)). Her profile says she's extremely into discipline, very controlling and so forth - yet her pic shows her in an ordinary dress, looking pretty (not vampish, seductive, or glamorous - 'pretty' is the absolutely the right word), and smiling. She does stick out a lot, I have to say - for me, anyway. All the right characteristics for me sexually but, also - from the photo - very obviously a whole and complete woman too. (Interestingly, she doesn't say much about her vanilla interests in her profile - but that doesn't matter. Men are visual - we all know that - and I'm no different. Two hundred words of "these are my vanilla interests" won't have anything like the effect of a pic showing a woman as vanilla. He'll instantly relate to her in a more vanilla way as a result, is my belief.)

So why don't the Dommes here just take the easy route towards cutting down on their junk emailers from the flaky masturbators - by dressing and posing as ordinary women? Is it down to "Vanity, thy name is Woman"? Could it be that vanity prevents them from doing that? That is, Dommes here just have to look their best in a Dommish way, just as vanilla women always have to look their best vanilla-style, come what may?

I've always thought the competition between women over appearance - Dommes, vanillas, all of them - is weird. It's as though it was once about competing for men's attention, but that got left behind long ago. They don't dress and act to impress men anymore, they dress and act to impress each other. Or something. Phuck knows. Women are odd. This is my only firm conclusion so far.





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