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MissIsis -> RE: What do you mean with fake DOMs (I hear in many ads...) (10/26/2008 4:04:02 AM)
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Yes, there are all kinds of people pretending to be someone they are not. They could be married. They could be new & afraid once they get to talking to someone & realizing what bdsm is about. I knew one guy who was a great top & at times could even be a great dominant, who used to spend his time in online chat rooms as a women looking for the ultimate in degradation & humiliation.
I always get a kick out of the profiles that ask for someone real, & say no fakes, as if that would stop someone who is hell bent on being deceitful.
I think, too, that very often, when some get to actually having conversations with some, that the person they are talking to, either gets cold feet, or that they have decided the one they are talking to isn't someone they want to be involved with. For whatever reason, they have been put off. I think sometimes, dominants forget how intimidating they can be, & they don't realize they are actually scaring off the person they are talking to. Let's face it, the anonymity of these sites can be a great way for someone to get their feet wet & learn a little about the lifestyle. They may just not be ready for the reality of it.
I got to talking to someone on the phone when I was in my early 30's about the lifestyle. I had answered his ad in the paper & called him, but as we talked, I became terrified. I hadn't given him my number, & promised to call him back, but I never did. I was curious, & turned on, but it wasn't the right time. I wouldn't have been strong enough at that time, anyway. It wasn't till about 10 years later that I was able to really start exploring the lifestyle & I was able to put my heart into it. Did that make me a fake? I don't think so. It just meant I wasn't ready. It was the wrong time or place for anything serious in the lifestyle for me. I think we often find the same thing happening online & assume people are fake.
We just don't know. If one finds that happening, maybe it is time to change the approach, but also, some of us need to keep in mind, that by someone dropping out, just means that person wasn't ready. It isn't always personal. But by the person disappearing, they are giving a gift because the person who is really looking can move on & find someone that is much more suited to them.
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