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What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:12:11 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
I have been thinking about a message I received from a slave on another site who clearly hates himself because of the way he looks. Do you think your attitudes towards your own body are affecting your changes of forming an alternative relationship and how much more or less do you think it is an issue compared to conventional relationships?

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:15:52 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		I do not have a negative opinion of My body, but it seems others do---it appears that mist submissives I come across prefer an ideal body type---they can't be Dommed unless she is the next top model---outs the fantasy wanker immediately.

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:22:20 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		If you accept your body..your mind has it eassier too
I am happy with mine..and I don't complain easily about it..because much about it is with in my own control

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:24:34 PM   
teensub


Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		I have issues with my body image, im not confident and this is something that definitely holds me back from doing certain things that master asks of me.

As i am to worried about the way i look to relax and just enjoy things and do the things he asks of me.

M tells me im gorgeous, sexy,hot and beautiful all the time, but i cant see that.

My confidence comes and goes though , as do my insecurities



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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:26:44 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		I think poor body image can negatively affect your chances of finding a relationship, regardless of the type (D/s or vanilla).  Self acceptance can be so freeing.

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:27:14 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		my tummy...ugh..my worst feature!!!  i'm pretty happy with everything else.  And i figure the boobs make up for the belly...

~phat slut in orlando

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:30:44 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		A bit, yeah.  I spent a while as the really fat kid, though; I still have echoes of the taunts every now and then, although I'm pretty proportional now, I don't get too many complaints. (I'm trying to get back to Army trim; I'm thinking I may have to rejoin the army to get there tho, it's still a struggle. Meh.)

The converse to feeling ashamed of your looks, though, is the pride you feel in positive change. Whether it be weight, skin, or just poor taste in clothes, being able to do something about it is a really good feeling.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 10/25/2008 2:32:14 PM >

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:39:37 PM   
flower2007


Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think there's any difference between types of relationships.  Then again, I don't believe negative self image turns people off.  If a person has a negative self image, odds are there *is* something wrong with them, and that in itself turns others off (I'm 30 lbs overweight and hate it, but me hating it doesn't turn men off - me being overweight does).

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:44:31 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am not that happy with my aging body.  If I could make at wish it would be to reclaim my 25 yr old belly dancer body and skin.  But.. that has nothing to do with my choice to need a dominant, or a sadistic partner.  I played this way when I was 25, and soooooooo much younger.  How I look now, or then had nothing to do with it.
Kyst

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 2:53:45 PM   
teensub


Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		i agree body image problems can affect in any relationship regardless. However i think it perhaps becomes harder to deal with in a D/S relationship because of some o the more unusual sexual/no sexual situations that arise. I.e humiliation,stripping, things like that. That is what i have personally found anyway

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:01:28 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		im just as smoking hot as teensub is!

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:04:35 PM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		  I've actually had more than one person suggest that I was submissive because I wouldn't never get a vanilla man because I'm so fat (and I'm relatively not-fat...I can't fit into plus size clothes even). I can't barely believe that men out there think like this, but obviously more than one does.

  Apart from that infuriating suggestion, I'm amazingly self-assured. My body has flaws, but I tend to be too horny to think about them ever after the very first time someone sees me naked. As such, I probably pick better relationships than people with really bad self-esteem. I'm smart, funny, silly, and pretty besides (and modest), so, with a good assessment of how awesome I am, I try and find a man similarly awesome. If I had a shitty body image, I'd probably try and find a man similarly shitty to how I viewed myself.

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:06:15 PM   
teensub


Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		ExKat i think my body image is shitty but M is far from shitty

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:10:23 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I’m realistic about my body. It’s not perfect but whose is?  I am not just a body and lots of men appreciate me for the person I am.  I’m happy to go with that.
I don’t think vanilla vs D/s has any bearing on how we feel about getting naked. 

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:17:19 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Fox's self image was absolutely teribble when I met him. He was not confident in his looks, over-sensative about his walk and certain other things. I changed his perspective greatly when I took him for my own.

As for my body, I think I am beautiful. I dont think I am perfect, and I dont really honestly care if other people think I am beautiful. I have a few vanity pounds to lose, dont we all? I have a few marks in places Id rather not have them, but over all I have a build I worked very hard  to get and I am very proud of it. I am muscular, so my body weight is nto at all indicitive of my size. I have arthritis, but it hasnt affected my posture or my gait. I am confident, which is why I am atrractive. I do not tailor myself to look good for others, I tailor myself to look good for me, and if someone else appreciates it then fantastic. If they do not, they can choose not to look.

I do not think that a poor outlook of ones self affects an alternative relationship much more than it does a vanilla one. Granted a Dominant with a poor self image might not be as effective a leader necessarily, but a submissive with a bad outlook might not be much of a servant. It does set up pitfalls for humilition and other boobytraps when one has to tiptoe around someones fragile ego. That happens in vanilla relationships, as well, and there one party cannot tell the other to just get over it. The benefits of being the dominant party is that when Fox would doubt himself I could easily shut him up and make him lsiten to me.


DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:27:45 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		My body is built for comfort and loving...Not for speed. But... I can still kick some serious ass!

C-D

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:30:18 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		There are parts of my body i like and parts i dislike. I don't think it affects my D/s relationships any more than it affected my nilla ones.

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:30:44 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		AS I look in the mirror,I see just a few extra pounds on my belly due to having my running and walking curtailed by my bad ankle,I have a bowfles treadmill and stationary bike which gets a good work out every day Diane has lost 40 pound by watching her diet and using the bow flex, shes now down to 135 AND WANTS TO LOSE ANOTHER 15 TO WHICH I SAID NO WAY SINCE I HAVE TO SHAKE THE SHEETS TO  FIND YOU NOW, All N all for a man of my age"60" I think I am in great shape...If you are satisfied when you look in the mirror that all is well within your world....

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:31:36 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I could stand to be about 15 pounds lighter.  Other than that I'm happy with my body.  I am tall and that makes it easy to hide a few extra pounds and also makes it awkward because many men tend to overestimate their height (what's up with that?).  I recently had my hair highlighted and I'm pretty much in love with it at this moment. 

All you can do is try the best with what you have.  And remember, it's the shell, the important stuff is inside.

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RE: What do you think about your own body? - 10/25/2008 3:40:12 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		~FR~
For myself, I see myself as pretty much a "5". I'm not ugly, but I'm not Brad Pitt. I'm not skinny but I'm not fat either. I'm not muscular but I'm not spindly. In short, I see myself as about "average" and that's fine for me.

I'd say my wife has traditionally been about the same. She didn't have any issues with her body image either. Recently I've been trimming some excess fat off her. Coupled with an enhanced focus on makeup, hair, and clothes, she's definitely starting to look more like a hottie (at least to my totally objective eyes *laughs*). We both like that.

I figure let the supermodels date other supermodels. God knows it's hard enough just to find a rational woman capable of having a love affair. I've spent most of my life vanilla and I still think of myself that way. It's no different on the vanilla side. Most people wish they were Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt. Most people aren't. Everyone gets along as best they can.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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