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RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 5:35:32 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Its the internet... and sometimes what you put out there is what you're going to get back... one thing is for sure, you're not likely to endear yourself to anyone here with this as your first post...

just a thought

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 5:37:47 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

since I don't have a habbit of calling total strangers.

And some us do not submit to people we have never talk to on the phone.. and you seem to be demanding submissive behavior from those who have never even spoken to you

quote:

So I ask my "fellow romans" have most of our female so called submissives or slaves not what they appear to be? Has this become a case of buyer be


My Daddy finds me to be what I appeared to be, or even more... so perhaps the issue is you.


quote:

However, I keep reading about "willing to please", "bend to your will", "get genuine pleasure from serving" and the like, yet the moment the interaction starts, the disclaimers pour out like out clauses on a hollywood contract, instead of the thoughts of someone with a submissive (let alone a slave) mindset.

Have we turned our little femslave and femsub friends into "Prima Donnas"?


Until someone submits to you they have as much right as you to determine whom they want to involve themselves with and whom they do not. They are not your submissive yet.

Perhaps if you knew how many married dickweeds are out there that attempt to seduce submissives into ongoing romances without calling or meeting you might have a little sympathy... unless you are one of the married dickweeds hiding something, afraid your wife may pick up when the sub calls?

As far as prima donnas... well you know, there are many more men than women here... so I guess women get to be choosy, we get to nix anyone that seems married, secretive, etc... isn't it wonderful?


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(in reply to OrdernChaos)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 5:40:28 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pixiespark

ive had quite a few experiences of 'submissives /slaves' that "DOM from the bottom" as my Master calls it. He taught me some characteristics of those kinds of people, who control You by letting You *think* Your in control. it's quite sad and pathetic really..


Until someone is in a relationship they arent your submissive, you cant top from the bottom when you arent in a relationship.Also topping from the bottom is a perfectly valid relationship choice, just because it isnt yours doesnt make them pathetic.

To the OP, its perfectly understandable that people are cautious, i know i woulnt want to get stuck in im land forever ive done it, its annoying. People have their own ways of doing it, just because you declare yourself dominant doesnt mean that people wont have their own ways of doing it, one of the things to bear in mind is sometimes concessions to put peoples mind at rest is needed.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 6:03:32 AM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

You have to inspire the submissiveness in someone to be able to Dominant them.



i for one will NOT automatically submit to anyone just because they state they are Dominant.  When i first started talking to Master back in March, it was honestly the farthest thing from my mind that i would eventually become His.  We took it slow and my trust and faith in Him grew over time.  Some may be able to submit right away....i am not one of those people. 

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(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 6:04:11 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		On the off-chance that this isn't someone just yanking our collective chain (and even if it is):

OP, you sir, come across as a pompous ass, and not, as you believe, a dominant. There is a difference between bullying and inspiring, whining and leading.
That being said, the reason subs don't go to "chat" with self-professed doms until they know them a bit is because many of them (gasp!!!) use this opportunity as some sort of wank-fest.
Also, you may not want to disregard phone conversation, I found it can give a much better idea of the person I am speaking to...on the other hand, maybe you should avoid it...

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(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 6:22:19 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		True story,  I had a submissive write me a short one liner, I wrote her a one liner back. She said she would love to chat on yahoo with me sometime, however failed to give me her Yahoo username.  So I wrote her back with mine and we ended up chatting on yahoo.   We exchanged probally about 3 messages on Yahoo, then she tosses her phone number out of at me.  This is without her telling me her name anywhere a long the way.  I asked her what her name was, she told me.   All of this was feeling pretty odd.   I did try calling her once, but I was thinking to myself.. Air headed nut case.  End of story.

(in reply to OrdernChaos)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 6:28:48 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I am NOT an airhead!

*snort*


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 6:49:00 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		People are strange.  I received an unsolicited e-mail from a couple recently.  Now, it says in my profile repetitiously that I am not seeking a poly relationship at this time.  They are, which is cool.  Still cool with making new acquaintances and friends.  The first e-mail, I am betting, was written by the female, the second and subsequent by the male, though I am only guessing.  First mail, fine.  Second, demands that I 'verify' that I'm who/what I say I am by calling them or photo (No way) and that it's necessary to prove that I'm not just wanking to what they were saying.  I started out polite.  After another e-mail in the same vein, I suggested that their boundaries are different from mine to an untennable degree and assured them that nothing that they were saying was wank-worthy in my book and wished them well.  People get things in their heads, sometimes, they act it out on others. 
  Davan

(in reply to Pixiespark)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:04:44 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

You have to inspire the submissiveness in someone to be able to Dominant them.



i for one will NOT automatically submit to anyone just because they state they are Dominant.  When i first started talking to Master back in March, it was honestly the farthest thing from my mind that i would eventually become His.  We took it slow and my trust and faith in Him grew over time.  Some may be able to submit right away....i am not one of those people. 

Good to hear my sub was the exact same way. No one should fall to their knees for just anyone. It should be only for that certain someone.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to natasha66)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:14:23 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

quote:

ORIGINAL: natasha66

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

You have to inspire the submissiveness in someone to be able to Dominant them.



i for one will NOT automatically submit to anyone just because they state they are Dominant.  When i first started talking to Master back in March, it was honestly the farthest thing from my mind that i would eventually become His.  We took it slow and my trust and faith in Him grew over time.  Some may be able to submit right away....i am not one of those people. 

Good to hear my sub was the exact same way. No one should fall to their knees for just anyone. It should be only for that certain someone.

~Lashra


So say the one true way.


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(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:14:34 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I am NOT an airhead!

*snort*



LOL... I was not talking about you. :-)

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:23:57 AM   
RainydayNE


Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline 		i don't understand why so many people here think that just because a sub says s/he's "submissive" means that s/he's submissive to everyone. you wouldn't get a thing done in your "vanilla" life if you were submissive to everyone. especially to people you've never met before.
do you know the reasons why she wanted you to call? i don't necessarily think it's a bad idea for people on both sides to have some sort of conditions in the beginning. if she turned into ubersub from the very beginning and something bad happened, people here would say "well take more time next time, do a better job of filtering and choosing who to submit to." =p maybe that's all she was trying to do.
also, she probably could've avoided flipping out... flipping out never really solves anything. but just don't start harping on her for being "fake" when you don't know why she reacted the way she did. just cut your loses and move on. =p

(in reply to Pixiespark)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:36:31 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OrdernChaos

Have we turned our little femslave and femsub friends into "Prima Donnas"?

OnC


Reality check sweetheart ... being submissive or slavey does not mean total obedience and humility towards any dude carying his Dom card. If you haven't worked that out yet ... you know very little about submission and therefore even less about Dominance.

added to that ... "little femslave/sub" .... patronising much?

If however you were bemoaning the current state of online manners .. then yes obviously some people can be a little short. Try this as an experiment ... set up a female submissive profile ... write a fairly generalise profile blurb, (you dont have to attach a picture but it will give you the full effect) ... reply to every single email you get for the first month and see how long it is before you become snippy, defensive and fairly "unsubly"

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(in reply to OrdernChaos)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:41:26 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RainydayNE

i don't understand why so many people here think that just because a sub says s/he's "submissive" means that s/he's submissive to everyone. you wouldn't get a thing done in your "vanilla" life if you were submissive to everyone. especially to people you've never met before.
do you know the reasons why she wanted you to call? i don't necessarily think it's a bad idea for people on both sides to have some sort of conditions in the beginning. if she turned into ubersub from the very beginning and something bad happened, people here would say "well take more time next time, do a better job of filtering and choosing who to submit to." =p maybe that's all she was trying to do.
also, she probably could've avoided flipping out... flipping out never really solves anything. but just don't start harping on her for being "fake" when you don't know why she reacted the way she did. just cut your loses and move on. =p


There she goes...using "reason" and "logic" again.
Haven't I told you that is not allowed around here?
Sheesh! Some subbies....

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to RainydayNE)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:44:15 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		"you do not ask or beg, let alone demand, you answer questions and you receive, when I decide it is time"

If the questions have to do with anything of a very personal nature such as my sexual preferences, what i am wearing, what i am into, etc....then you'd get my standard reply to any horny net geek i encounter...

"Here's my advice, Romeo....take a shower, use some deodorant, and you too might someday have a sexual encounter that doesn't require your hand and a cam."

Proclaiming online that you are a big mighty Dominant does NOT mean you are entitled to any special treatment.   

(in reply to OrdernChaos)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:48:28 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

There she goes...using "reason" and "logic" again.
Haven't I told you that is not allowed around here?
Sheesh! Some subbies....


*shudders* ... that word should be banned ... its almost as fucking bad as "little femslave"


_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:51:46 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		It has never really bothered me.

Prolly 'cause I'm such a GOOD one!

(I'm just sayin'...)

*lol*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 7:59:11 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Female submissives apparently get a LOT of mail.  When 99% of that is wankers or folks that fairly glow with -do not touch- neon warning signs, it is easy to see how many will develop a method of protecting themselves and weeding out the 99% to try to get to the 1%.

If she had your interest...it's just a phone call.  Make it from a payphone if you feel uncomfortable revealing your number or information.  Yea, you may have to spend $2.50 to determine if this person is a good connection for you....most buy dinner and a movie for the same info...

On the other side of the coin, given that she went pretty quickly into insults (according to your account) it may be that you are well away from her.  Not all the women here are right in the head either - just a larger percentage of them. 




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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 8:33:04 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I form relationships with dommes, but I do also carry a paradox between being picky and having 'no expectations'.

Ah but you see, what is written on my profile is just a guideline, nothing more. All what is on it is true and it's accurate and it's about me, but there's a catch. That catch is that it's not guaranteed to be relevant in any way to you. Not least until you get some sort of confirmation directly from me.

But then again I gave up looking some time ago. I kind of figured that there isn't any point in looking for a relationship here, not least for me anyway.

That's why I am open to friendship only. I figure that if someone really does want to have a relationship with me then they'll be prepared to work at developing a friendship with me first. It cuts out the laundry lists, the negotiations and the false assumptions on both sides.

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(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Submissives? I think not..... - 10/27/2008 8:50:00 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Another true story, exchange of a couple of one liners from a sub that responded to my profile.  We took it over to Yahoo.  She was interested in becoming my slave in the same day.  Showing up, turning over her car keys and whatever things she had packed up in her car.  Wanting to know if I would take full ownership of everything she had including her.   This all was without talking voice.  Mmmmmm... Don't know but some people are either bat shit crazy, don't take decisions too seriously, Don't care, or are simply playing games.   

It's a little hard to simply write somebody off as being fake compared to being crazy.   But I'm pretty certain it was one of the two, in either case, not my cup of tea.

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 40
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