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RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 3:33:53 PM

servantheart

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

My feelings have nothing to do with Sir, though He certainly isn't against the idea of me being with another woman. I had a sister slave at one time, but that was before I was comfortable admitting my feelings, much less acting on them other than some occasional casual exploration. I am more comfortable with men, but do find myself spending a fair amount of time thinking about women and being with a woman. As I've gotten older, I've come to embrace these desires within myself.

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 41

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 3:47:04 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for this Op, allthatjazz.

I still don't understand how a straight person can have a "kink' for a bisexual partner, myself. I always thought sraight referred to one with a desire not only for a member of the 'opposite sex' but also one who was themselves hetro. I mean, ya, I knew straight guys often got excited at the idea of a 3some, but that didn't mean they wanted to do it with lesbians.

I knew that some straight men have fantasies about lesbians, but they always seemed to involve 'changing their minds' and 'making' them straight. My lesbian girlfrinds have been plagued with unwanted attention for just this very reason by horndogs over the years.

I don't notice the same phenom among GL people; I can't remember coming across a profile of any homosexal CM member seeking a bisexal partner. Does this happen too?

I have no preconceptions about what sexual orientation a bisexual person would 'usually' desire in a partner. Is there any trends amoung bisexual people on the matter? Do most bisexual people like to gather with others as straight and GL people often do? I mean like, are there bisexual bars somewhere?

Where have bisexual people been all these years? I knew there were GL people pretty much as soon as I knew where babies come from. They're not hard to meet by any means. I've met TV/TG people from time to time as well over the years.

So how come I've never met any bisexual people? I would hate to think they feel some need to 'stay in the closet'. I've watched the level of hatred for homosexuals begin to fade off in real life -- thank Gawd.

I didn't know human sexuality was as nuanced as it is till I began learning about D/s. I'm still learning, and now I believe I always will be.
candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/4/2008 4:17:01 PM >

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 42

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 3:52:48 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

I still don't understand how a straight person can have a "kink' for a bisexual partner, myself. I always thought sraight referred to one with a dessire not only for a member of the 'opposite sex' but also one was themselves hetro.

"Straight" refers to yourself, not others around you. If you're a straight man, then you're interested in women. What those women are interested in is irrelevant to your orientation.

I don't understand your reference to someone having a "kink" for a partner that is not like them... unless you're just making an observation that has nothing to do with the discussion so far.

Cali

_____________________________

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(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 43

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 5:07:12 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I am truly bi, and have lived for a decade in a committed relationship with my Darling, who is female. I've also had committed male partners, and even a couple of trans mates. For me, it is the person beneath the skin that draws my affection.

My Darling is bi, leaning het -- but she -also- shares an affectionate, decade+long committed same-gender relationship. For her, it was -completely- the fact that she fell in love with the PERSON, not the body.

Lust can depend on the body, but IMO, commitment, family, and lasting affection... is about the person beneath the skin.

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 44

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 5:15:50 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Thanks for this Op, allthatjazz.

I still don't understand how a straight person can have a "kink' for a bisexual partner, myself. I always thought sraight referred to one with a desire not only for a member of the 'opposite sex' but also one who was themselves hetro. I mean, ya, I knew straight guys often got excited at the idea of a 3some, but that didn't mean they wanted to do it with lesbians.

I knew that some straight men have fantasies about lesbians, but they always seemed to involve 'changing their minds' and 'making' them straight. My lesbian girlfrinds have been plagued with unwanted attention for just this very reason by horndogs over the years.

I don't notice the same phenom among GL people; I can't remember coming across a profile of any homosexal CM member seeking a bisexal partner. Does this happen too?

I have no preconceptions about what sexual orientation a bisexual person would 'usually' desire in a partner. Is there any trends amoung bisexual people on the matter? Do most bisexual people like to gather with others as straight and GL people often do? I mean like, are there bisexual bars somewhere?

Where have bisexual people been all these years? I knew there were GL people pretty much as soon as I knew where babies come from. They're not hard to meet by any means. I've met TV/TG people from time to time as well over the years.

So how come I've never met any bisexual people? I would hate to think they feel some need to 'stay in the closet'. I've watched the level of hatred for homosexuals begin to fade off in real life -- thank Gawd.

I didn't know human sexuality was as nuanced as it is till I began learning about D/s. I'm still learning, and now I believe I always will be.
candystripper

My Darling never considered herself anything but het... until she fell in love with a woman. She considers herself 'bi' now... with the qualification that she is interested in men, but because she fell in love with a woman once, she doesn't discount the possibility that it might happen again.

"Straight" basically means "I am physically attracted to the opposite gender, and not really turned on by my own"--it is a statement of self, not of anyone else's behavior... but it's been my experience over the years that 'straight', 'bi', 'het', 'gay', etc., do not regulate the process of -love-... only the process of sexual attraction.

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 45

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 5:19:43 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

So how come I've never met any bisexual people? I would hate to think they feel some need to 'stay in the closet'. I've watched the level of hatred for homosexuals begin to fade off in real life -- thank Gawd.

There is actually a good deal of disdain and even hatred towards bisexuals from all sides of the fence. Even homosexuals will look down at those who identify as bisexual for a number of reasons. One of the oddest experiences I ever had online was being the moderator for a bisexual support group with open membership and dealing with a group of homosexuals and heterosexuals that flamed such groups, posting porn that depicted murder, animals and defacation in a group with lots of minors.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 46

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 5:24:07 PM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I am what I call "opportunistically bisexual". I don't seek out women to have relationships, or even booty calls... but if we're in each other's vicinity and the stars align correctly and all that other b.s. ... then things might just get REALLLL friendly.

That would describe me best as well. I am more likely to have sex with a female i am comfortable being around.

Though when i was younger i did enjoy the cute pick them up and play with them, then give them cab fare type quite a bit.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 47

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 5:35:29 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

Speaking only for myself, as a dominant (and straight) male, I have never and would never want my slave to partake of anything sexual with anyone other than me simply to "please" me. I neither encourage nor discourage my slave where her sexuality is concerned, other than to express her true nature, however it is.

So long as she continues to believe I'm God's gift to women, it's all good!

_____________________________

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 48

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 5:47:04 PM

gauguin

Posts: 28
Joined: 7/27/2008
From: UK
Status: offline

I am "lifestyle bi", I guess.

I play with male dominants too, and giving oral or receiving anal is act of submission. Very humiliating though, because as straight guy I should not... While in sub-space I perceive myself as genderless subject controlled by dominants and supposed to please them.

Many guys enjoy strap-on play, some even perform "oral" on it, are they bi then? I just made a step further in submission.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 49

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 6:24:40 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

I consider myself selectively Bi. Selectively for attraction chosen in a similar manner as I would with a Man, although I can not see myself ever being in a romantic relationship with another woman. Bi is fun. Give me a Man for long term.

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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to gauguin)

Post #: 50

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 6:39:35 PM

loveandlight87

Posts: 110
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

I consider myself bi (on the scale between a 2 and 3). I get the stutters with women though, so I have not had as much experience as I would like. Like several have mentioned, for me it is about the person. I have had short term relationships with women in the past. And as far as my Sir asking for that in our play ... He has left that entirely in my court, including his level of participation. I would however be perfectly comfortable should he request it of me.

love

ps: Much prefer giving than receiving

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 51

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 6:46:20 PM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

FR

I am Bi have been for as long as ive fancied people, i have subbed to both men and women, however i dont think I would be a permant sub to a woman, that may mostly be becuase I have never been attracted to one in that way, I may be making wild generalisations but I have found that male dominance is differant from female (just as male and female submission differs) so i dont think I would want a relationship with a woman with the D/s dynamic, of course thats open to change.

I dont get the whole being bi for your dominant thing, bi is an oriantation either you are or you arent. so i wouldnt do it purely for that reason nope.

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I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 52

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 6:54:11 PM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

I'm Bi with a stronger preference for men. Like others, given a situation with another woman I found attractive, I'd definitely have fun with her, but it's a play thing, not a relationship thing with me. And i'd much rather give than receive.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 53

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 6:55:39 PM

FetishRose

Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

I am bisexual, with a preference for women. Although currently (and if things work out, eternally) in a relationship with a man, I adore women. I am far more attracted to the feminine shape, a womanly mind, etc. Before my current boyfriend, I had meaningful and wonderful relationships with women, while boys were always more of a play thing.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 54

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 7:07:44 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
are you truly comfortable with someone the same sex as your self?

Yes.

quote:

Would you have a relationship with someone the same sex?

Yes

quote:

or is it something you would do to please your Dominant?

Yes (it can be both)

In the hetero scene, the majority of "bi chicks" are mostly just "bi when really horny and voyueristic" or "bi when he tells me to do stuff to her" or "bi when fairly inebriated"

But there are plenty who legitimately and genuinely find themselves attracted to and fulfilled by intimate relationships with females.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 55

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 7:15:26 PM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

First off, I am not bi. At all. :-)

One thing that I have noticed over the years. I have read alot of profiles while perusing the bdsm sites and had noticed that most fem submissive profiles I started looking at back in the late 90's were all straight. Then over the years I began to see more and more of them listed as bisexual. Is being bi more in fashion do you think? Or is it that more and more people are becoming more open with their expressions of sexuality?

C-D

< Message edited by CruelDesires -- 11/4/2008 7:16:54 PM >

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
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(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 56

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 7:54:01 PM

faithbunny

Posts: 99
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

Don't you have to be bi-curious before you actually do it with some one.
With most things you become curious/interested first.

No. Were you straight-curious before you were straight?

~faith

(in reply to JustDarkness)

Post #: 57

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 8:01:38 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

First off, I am not bi. At all. :-)

One thing that I have noticed over the years. I have read alot of profiles while perusing the bdsm sites and had noticed that most fem submissive profiles I started looking at back in the late 90's were all straight. Then over the years I began to see more and more of them listed as bisexual. Is being bi more in fashion do you think? Or is it that more and more people are becoming more open with their expressions of sexuality?

C-D

I think so- I call them the barsexual girls, only intrerested in other girls when the boy is around to watch. It's an annoying form of attention whoring, that got my hopes up last Friday. :P

To be fair, I wouldn't consider myself to be completely bisexual, whatever that means. I've yet to meet a girl that I'd like to be in a relationship with, but I have no qualms about playing around with another female, especially in a bdsm context.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 58

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 8:03:59 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

For those of us within this lifestyle that are bi.... are you truly comfortable with someone the same sex as your self? Would you have a relationship with someone the same sex? or is it something you would do to please your Dominant?

For those that have in a profile 'bi curious' Is it mainly because Master/Dominant wants a 3rd party and your willing to go along with that or is it that you genuinly crave to have sex with someone the same sex as yourself?

I list Bisexual in my profile. I'm not involved with anyone, male or female and I didn't list it to please anyone but myself.

I find women more attractive - asthetically - than men, I love how soft they are, I love how amazing their kisses are, and I have a major breast fixation. Women are sexy creatures, what's not to lust after? They touch the artistic aspects of my nature. When I draw or paint, I paint women.

However, I find men more viscerallly attractive. I love how I feel when I'm being towered over by a commanding male presence, and I love the feel of strong arms wrapped about me and a deep voice growling in my ear. Men are sexy beasts, what's not to lust after? They reach the little girl and submissive in me. When I'm hurt, I want a man's lap to crawl up in.

Umm, did I answer the OP?

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 11/4/2008 8:08:36 PM >

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 59

RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle - 11/4/2008 8:29:53 PM

BLGirl

Posts: 209
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline

I was born as I am, whatever that is. I wish that we could just be who and what we are without labeling ourselves as this or that. However, we do not live in that world. Having said that, I am bi, have always been bi, and will always be, bi. Even if I were a man, I would be bi, it is just what/who I am. When I discuss it with people, I explain it like this, "I am not straight, and not totally bent, I am just slightly curved."
Opportunistic bi-sexuality can be fun, but it is also nice to see, pursue, and dazzle a woman, ultimately culminating in a fulfilling relationship. Long story short for me, if I meet a person, it is a person, not a male or female, but an individual that either possesses what I am attracted to or not.
As to Daddy wanting me to engage in a bi-sexual activities, what man doesn't want to watch two girls getting it on? He isn't any different, but he would never ask me to do that, he leaves my sexuality up to me, of course now, if I offered.... The funny thing is, that he is equally turned on by the thought of watching me go down on a man, as he is, watching me go down on a woman, as long as I am being of service and being used all is fabulous! Good for me, huh?

(in reply to servantheart)

Post #: 60

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