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Is this normal or just mean? - 11/5/2008 11:59:29 PM   
usemekinky


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/9/2008
From: Aloha OR
Status: offline 		I had a Dom whom I have been speaking with for a little over a week tell me after I sent them a pic that they weren't interested because I was ugly. I was upset, I'll live, but it's hard not to take that personally.

I don't have a lot of experience, so I was wondering, is it common for a Dom to disregard a subs feelings in this way? 

_____________________________

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."
~Author Unknown~
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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:04:18 AM   
DCWoody


Posts: 1401
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		No. Well. I guess I can only speak for my experience...but...no.

Maybe some might in some kinda attempt to play into a subs humiliation interests...but.....


(in reply to usemekinky)
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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:06:17 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Did they specifically say "No, I think you are ugly" or was that the boiled down answer? I ask because it does matter if they tried to word it politely.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:07:17 AM   
loulou74


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/14/2006
Status: offline 		Most definitely mean usemekinky and totally unnecessary. I am sorry that this idiot deemed it fun to insult you. Ignore him, he is not worth the effort and move on to someone who will see you for the lovely person I am sure you are.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:14:20 AM   
usemekinky


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/9/2008
From: Aloha OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

~Fast Reply~

Did they specifically say "No, I think you are ugly" or was that the boiled down answer? I ask because it does matter if they tried to word it politely.


No, he specifically said I was ugly.

Had he of gracefully bailed out I would have been fine with it. I talk to a few Doms on here as friends who I'm aware are not interested in me in that way.


_____________________________

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."
~Author Unknown~

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:25:17 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Dont be upset . It is not normal for someone to do that. It was a online heckler with nothing better to do then throw a insult at someone. I bet you are not the first person he or she insulted.

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www.starhillcreations.com

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:30:33 AM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I had one who blocked me after he saw my pictures, without saying anything.

Some people are jerks.  Doesn't mean everyone is (nor does everyone have the same taste in women)

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:37:09 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: usemekinky

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

~Fast Reply~

Did they specifically say "No, I think you are ugly" or was that the boiled down answer? I ask because it does matter if they tried to word it politely.


No, he specifically said I was ugly.

Had he of gracefully bailed out I would have been fine with it. I talk to a few Doms on here as friends who I'm aware are not interested in me in that way.



In that case, no I don't think it's normal. At best, he may have thought it played into a fetish to be used but he probably was just an asshole.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to usemekinky)
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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:39:05 AM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		You have to remember that a dom is a person, just like any other and can be rude and insulting, just like people can be outside D/s.  Consider yourself lucky you avoided a jerk and move on.  There are a number of ways he could have let you know he didn't feel an attraction rather than bluntly hurting your feelings.  But he just sounds like an ass.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 1:01:34 AM   
ChainGoddess


Posts: 731
Joined: 9/27/2008
From: Ireland
Status: offline 		As with all other walks of life, there are many rude ungracious people on this board, there are also a lot of great people on here.
You were unlucky to 'meet' the former.    Of course you were upset by his comments,  thats only natural. 
Forget all about him, move on and enjoy your journey.

< Message edited by ChainGoddess -- 11/6/2008 1:03:00 AM >

_____________________________

"Chain of command: I say it. You do it! End of chain."

Anne Rice- When you think night and day and every moment only of pleasing me, things will be very easy for you.

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 2:27:08 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Yupo as has been said, some people are rude, im sure he would have found it far harder to do in real life. Some people actrively seek out people online to be rude too, I have ahd neumerous messages from people telling me im unattractive, just ignore it clearly he is is just socially illiterate

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Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 4:16:20 AM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		I have fem friends on here who collect the worst and clumsiest approaches and swap them for light relief. One despairs over the inadequacies of my fellow doms at times. Beautiful girls get abused merely because they do not conform to narrow definitions or even more likely will not play. Please rest assured we are not all pigs. You will however need some mechanism to not be affected by such fools. Try a large pinch of salt.

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Hitman for the Subby Mafia

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 5:06:23 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Well..wow.  Some people are just blatantly rude.  He could have just told you that you were not what he was seeking yet he chose to be cruel instead.

Sorry, you had to go through that.  It is his loss, glad you found out early on what he was like.  No one has the right to humiliate another like that, even in this lifestyle, given it is a new contact and no consent was given for such abuse.

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It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 5:15:55 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		It's not normal, it's unacceptable behavior, it's mean and cowardly , said by a loser hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. Consider yourself fortunate that you found out what an asshole he is early on.

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 5:24:08 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		At least they were being honest, if that is their opinion. Some people are blunt and to the point.


quote:

ORIGINAL: usemekinky

I had a Dom whom I have been speaking with for a little over a week tell me after I sent them a pic that they weren't interested because I was ugly. I was upset, I'll live, but it's hard not to take that personally.

I don't have a lot of experience, so I was wondering, is it common for a Dom to disregard a subs feelings in this way? 


_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to usemekinky)
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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 5:33:19 AM   
Ellsa


Posts: 37
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: minnesota
Status: offline 		Yes, it seems to be the norm. He's the Dom so he can.
At least you know where he stands. He could have just said not interested, but wanted to hurt you, and it sounds like he succeeded.
Thank your lucky stars that he did not lead you on for awhile and then disappear. Or get you to spend money on him.
Read the sub/slaves board, it is full of advice to not get emotionally involved.
Practice what you preach, be strong enough to let go.

(in reply to usemekinky)
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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 6:13:26 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: usemekinky

I had a Dom whom I have been speaking with for a little over a week tell me after I sent them a pic that they weren't interested because I was ugly. I was upset, I'll live, but it's hard not to take that personally.

I don't have a lot of experience, so I was wondering, is it common for a Dom to disregard a subs feelings in this way? 

Don't know about "Doms" but rude little wanker shits do that all the time.  It's why they're called rude little wanker shits.

This much is certain:  The man who will take you as his slave will not consider you ugly.


_____________________________



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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 6:18:33 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellsa

Yes, it seems to be the norm. He's the Dom so he can.
At least you know where he stands. He could have just said not interested, but wanted to hurt you, and it sounds like he succeeded.



But he's not the Dom. They had only been speaking on here and that, in my opinion gives him little right to exert himself as a dominant.

I met a guy off here once and he was as arrogant as sh-t. He looked me up and down and then his big ugly mug said 'I suppose you will do'. I found out later that he was an op on one of the chat pages on here and he was used to being so darn rude and insulting to women that he thought that was the 'true way', silly boy! Once insulted I just got turned off and wanted him to go. He then spent weeks trying to talk me round but I just blocked him.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 6:25:37 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		It's not normal. I have thought someone was not so attractive but I didnt say,"you're ugly. I might say," I know its just me and i know you will float others boat. What attracts people can be so allusive. But I am just not attracted to you, I'm sorry"

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 6:49:00 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know that he disregarded your feelings - he said what he thought, I assume. What he said is his perception, and you wanted him to sugarcoat his truth. Dunno that that would help. When I get mail from somebody who is obese I tell 'em I don't do fat women. If he did not otherwise get nassty or insult you, you really should get over it. Remember this is his perception, he has a right to his opinion, and you shouldn't be overly sensitive. I personally don't think this had anything to do with "disregarding your feelings" - if you can't take the heat, etc.

(in reply to usemekinky)
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