quote:

ORIGINAL: housemouse61

Treasure;

Let me first offer my condolences.  What a stressful and heartbreaking situation you find yourself in at this point.  Sounds as though whether you decide to confront or not; the relationship is doomed.

As to your question about whether or not you should confront him with his dishonesty...well, that's a hard one to call for someone who is outside of the relationship and has no personal experience with you or with him.  It's my feeling that someone who can look you square in the eye and lie, repeatedly, lacks a working conscience and, therefore, can be risky to deal with in a combative scenario.  Who know what else he might *not* feel bad about doing if he feels he's being pushed into a corner to fess up, as it were.  Only *you* know what his temperament is can judge whether this is something safe or wise for you to do.  If you're not sure, probably best to just walk away.  Otherwise, if you feel that confronting him with your evidence and getting a full confession from his lips will give you closure; and you feel safe in doing so... i say, "go for it".  Even if you don't get the full confession you  may be hoping for...at least you can get some of the burden off of your own chest and give it back to him.

Best of luck to you.  i hope that no matter what you decide to do; you are able to pick yourself up and carry on and find a better happiness down the road.

Peace favor and blessed be,

nikki
Property of Cruel Desires

quote:

ORIGINAL: Treasure3


What a great picture that is to think about!!  Revenge is a dish best served cold.  Still, do I really want to lower myself to that level?  I've already lowered myself by snooping, even though I feel it was justified as we were in the process of planning my move to him and I had to settle my doubts before uprooting the offspring.  I was hoping with all my heart I was just being insecure and would find nothing.  Strange, but I haven't cried once.  I'm angry, livid, and I want to confront him for the satisfaction of it, but I can't feel any pain right now. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

i would confront him eventually....but first i would torture him by dropping subtle statements hinting that you are aware of his lies, but not coming right out and saying so.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: Treasure3


What a great picture that is to think about!!  Revenge is a dish best served cold.  Still, do I really want to lower myself to that level?  I've already lowered myself by snooping, even though I feel it was justified as we were in the process of planning my move to him and I had to settle my doubts before uprooting the offspring.  I was hoping with all my heart I was just being insecure and would find nothing.  Strange, but I haven't cried once.  I'm angry, livid, and I want to confront him for the satisfaction of it, but I can't feel any pain right now. 

You can BET on the fact that he will pounce on the snooping and will act all injured innocence, hey you possibly DROVE him to do that because he could fell you didn't trust him, yada yada....

I'm against snooping but in your situation (especially moving with children and red flags) it is not only perfectly understandable but also absolutely justified.

My concern now is for your security, especially since you got offspring. A guy who will do that to you, especially given the situation (you relocating, children involved etc.) has ZERO sense of responsibility and he is a liar, which is in fact a character flaw that indicates he might have more "issues", you want to get out of the situation without having a stalker on your hands or somebody who might actually not have scruples to out you just to get back to you. Find a way to get out of it ASAP.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I did this to an ex of mine, however I met the other women he was "loyal" to by accident and we decided to have lunch together and ask him to meet us. He didnt realize he was meeting ALL of us and for beng a macho guy he nearly cried upon walking into th erestaurant and seeing the 4 "one and only" women in his life sitting together and launghing over coffee.

DV

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

What *I* would do, would be to collect up a list of all the subs he has seen, and find all the paperwork for all the trips he has been on. Chances are if he has be telling you you are his own and only, he has probably been telling them the same thing. Find all the good bits in the emails, the ones where he promises them he will be theirs and theirs alone, or that they are the only ones he needs, and make a long letter of quotes, with who they are to and dates. Then, send it to THEM, not him. Keep copies of all the emails for yourself, and include that you can provide the rest of the text for every one of them if anyone would like to see it. And then walk away.
He will not have his chance to defend his lies to you, and he sure as hell wont have much of a chance with a gang of potentially irate other subs after him. You will be rid of him, and he wont be able to pull the same shit on some other girl.
I did this to an ex of mine, however I met the other women he was "loyal" to by accident and we decided to have lunch together and ask him to meet us. He didnt realize he was meeting ALL of us and for beng a macho guy he nearly cried upon walking into th erestaurant and seeing the 4 "one and only" women in his life sitting together and launghing over coffee.

DV

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

~General reply to the op ~

Since all I know is what you have put here in this thread; and since the one you are condemming is not here to defend himself; I actually have no advice on how you should conduct your own relationship. Obviously though, from the tone of your posts here, your need for validation and drama has definitly been  met.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

~General reply to the op ~

Since all I know is what you have put here in this thread; and since the one you are condemming is not here to defend himself; I actually have no advice on how you should conduct your own relationship. Obviously though, from the tone of your posts here, your need for validation and drama has definitly been  met.

quote:

So you do suggest that she invites the person who has hurt her so you can satisfy your curiosity....

It's funny that even though you can't offer any advice you feel the need to attack somebody who obviously has been hurt and possibly has nobody to talk to, I can perfectly understand that if somebody is hurt they might want to get it off their chest and vent a bit. From the tone of your reply, that is quite a big horse you are riding.