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RE: Deal breakers - 11/19/2008 5:09:02 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

My grandma used to say that was like trying to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deal Breakers:
When who they were, who they are and who they want to be don’t line up, it’s a deal breaker.  If someone’s history doesn’t support their current behavior or their future desires, they are lying about something or so confused about life, they don’t know who they are yet.


So let me get this straight. Are you saying that a person's history forever defines what a person is and will be till the day they die?


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Deal breakers - 11/19/2008 5:12:40 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

I make connections where they are warranted. I'm not looking for a fix in the form of a female. I will not discard another human being based on their history.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Deal breakers - 11/19/2008 5:17:21 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

My grandma used to say that was like trying to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deal Breakers:
When who they were, who they are and who they want to be don’t line up, it’s a deal breaker.  If someone’s history doesn’t support their current behavior or their future desires, they are lying about something or so confused about life, they don’t know who they are yet.



Hi Kal, you sexy beast.  I'd be saddened that I'm a deal breaker for you, but I'm too happy to be of service in whatever capacity works for the best of all involved.  (Licks)

Edited to add:  I'm teasing of course.  His remark was in response to mine, but honestly had nothing to do with me.  Despite all evidence to the contrary, all things do not revolve around winsome! 

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 11/19/2008 5:29:34 PM >

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Deal breakers - 11/19/2008 5:27:26 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

I make connections where they are warranted. I'm not looking for a fix in the form of a female. I will not discard another human being based on their history.



Hello Icarys,

There is something to be said for consistency in ones history.   And yet, that person who is open and flexible enough to see that someone's history (inconsistent or not) has evolved another into a remarkable and brilliant person with a heart of gold to offer, is wise too in my mind.  S'all good.

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Deal breakers - 11/19/2008 6:05:36 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Deal breakers: 1. Not permitting me to believe spiritually as I wish or practice my beliefs.
                      2. Energy vampires
                      3.Criminal record in rape
                      4. Those who will argue for their limitations constantly.

We all have a past, mine wasn't pretty. I do not come from that persona anymore. I have been a recovered drug addict for 25 years, and it is not a part of me. I will not fix you and I do not care where you been. What I care about is where you are today and where your attitude is now.

oceanwynds

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Deal breakers - 11/19/2008 6:43:59 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I just wanted to sneak back in and  point out something here. If you are too focused in trying to connect, when it is evident that the connection isn't there, you may miss out on recognizing the absolutely fabulous opportunity that was just around the corner.  Dealbreakers are like signs signalling a change in seasons.  You can keep trying to sow your seeds, despite all evidence of it being a bad idea, but why would you want to? 

I make connections where they are warranted. I'm not looking for a fix in the form of a female. I will not discard another human being based on their history.



Hello Icarys,

There is something to be said for consistency in ones history.   And yet, that person who is open and flexible enough to see that someone's history (inconsistent or not) has evolved another into a remarkable and brilliant person with a heart of gold to offer, is wise too in my mind.  S'all good.

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a saint among any of us in this lifestyle lol.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Deal breakers - 11/19/2008 6:53:23 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a saint among any of us in this lifestyle lol.



Then please allow me to introduce myself. 

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Deal breakers - 11/19/2008 9:05:41 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a saint among any of us in this lifestyle lol.



Then please allow me to introduce myself. 

You are an angel to behold for sure but one with leathery wings, a saint you cannot be.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Deal breakers - 11/19/2008 10:31:26 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		Everyone over the age of 15 or so has some sort of issue.  My brother is an alcoholic who has been dry for many years and is a practicing physician. 

People can and do change - figuring out if they have, in fact changed is difficult.

I went 41 years without any legal problems, including traffic tickets, and then bang, all of a sudden I had some.   I have PTSD and severe depression resulting from said legal issues (thanks so much State of Texas, can't wait to sue the living daylights out of you).   I have an EEOC complaint against my former employer. 

Deal breakers for me include not liking/being allergic to animals, not being willing to live below the Mason Dixon line because I don't do snow.  Poly is a dealbreaker.  Of course lying is a dealbreaker but that's not obvious up front, unless the lies are really really blatant.  Any sort of nonconsensual abuse.  Not being attracted to me the way I am/wanting me to lose weight or become a different size.  That sounds like a lot and I'm sure there are more.

(in reply to Horne)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Deal breakers - 11/20/2008 12:21:45 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Winsome said:
Despite all evidence to the contrary, all things do not revolve around winsome! 
*blinks*  what?  damnit, there goes another perfectly good theory of mine down the drain.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Deal breakers - 11/21/2008 5:10:48 AM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		 
Cali, I just re-read my post. I don't see any idication that I thought anyone was suffering from this thread. I said, and I clearly added twice, this is just *my* opinion, but I detected a lack of empathy.  It was in reference to the comments re: Des, Mira and slaveluci. As well as a respose to DevonKael.  As far as it being my interpretation, yes of course, aren't all of our thoughts and feelings based on our "own" perceptions and interpretations?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

NuevaVida:  I have found that often when someone introduces the word "bashing", it ramps up the responses, and personally, I find it unnecessary.  I truly didn't see bashing; I saw two of us saying what we have experienced in real life. What boggles my mind is that anybody is offended by that.  Are recovering addicts that aren't doing so hot giving other addicts a bad name or something?? 

Aynne:  If anyone is "suffering" from our comments and perceived lack of empathy, then that is their own projections or perhaps your interpretation.  If it truly bothers you, why don't you start a support thread?


Cali



_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Deal breakers - 11/21/2008 8:34:20 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		If my family likes them...
 
No deal Howie...

(in reply to Horne)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Deal breakers - 11/21/2008 10:12:20 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
Cali, I just re-read my post. I don't see any idication that I thought anyone was suffering from this thread.


Ahh, but for a comma, we would have had better understanding...

quote:


but I did not read this thread yesterday and get a whole lot of empathy for those that are suffering from some of the comments.


So you meant:  but I did not read this thread yesterday and get a whole lot of empathy for those that are suffering, from some of the comments.

And not:  I didn't see a whole lot of empathy for [people who are suffering from what was written here about situations like theirs].

LOL! 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Deal breakers - 11/21/2008 10:45:10 AM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Exactly. Fricking comma.  That is what I meant tho, not in any way did I mean people were suffereing from the exchange of comments on here, I meant suffering from their addications. Sorry for the confusion.  

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Deal breakers - 11/21/2008 6:41:37 PM   
shannie


Posts: 200
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravesdom

.....  Anyone who has spent any time in prison would also be a deal breaker.


Well, in the modern prisons-for-proft climate, where even Martha Stewart has spent time in prison, you may have disqualified half the candidates available to you!

< Message edited by shannie -- 11/21/2008 6:42:29 PM >

(in reply to cravesdom)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Deal breakers - 11/23/2008 1:02:32 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shannie

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravesdom

.....  Anyone who has spent any time in prison would also be a deal breaker.


Well, in the modern prisons-for-proft climate, where even Martha Stewart has spent time in prison, you may have disqualified half the candidates available to you!


Even the CM idol DeSade spent half his life in prison (which is a mirracle...because I would have killed him for his deeds)

(in reply to shannie)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Deal breakers - 11/23/2008 2:13:03 PM   
UncleNasty


Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline 		I'd rather comment on history than deal breakers.

I believe in the capacity for humans to change. I expect if I didn't I would have jumped off the bridge a long time ago. Does ones history matter to me? You betcha. What is more important to me is the present, and what history someone has overcome.

Uncle Nasty

(in reply to Horne)
Profile   Post #: 97
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