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Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 10:54:27 PM

Aszhrae

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This may be lengthy as it pertains to different subjects, but in all matters its a dynamic that has me consider that only purists seemed to be a factor in the general perception of the D/s dynamic.

The mistress that seeks the submissive girl.
The master that seeks the submissive girl
The mistress that seeks the submissive boy
The master that seeks the submissive boy

Introduce the transgendered into the mix, be they MTF or FTM.
The submissive boy that becomes the submissive girl seeks the mistress that wants the submissive girl and the mistress requests verification.
Then there is the submissive girl that becomes the submissive boy seeks the mistress that wants the submissive boy and the mistress asks for verification.
The same can be said of the master wanting verification as well.

Then of course there is the dominant trans male or trans female that wants the same as the genetic born mistress or genetic born master and of course must add verification.

Now girl may get into trouble for this or girl might not, depending on the replies this thread receives.

But there is certainly a D/s dynamic that tends towards the genetically born as you are and not the surgical altered result.
Does it really matter if you were born one way and are another way?
Just girls and boys that are submissives,
Just dommes and doms that are wanting for submissive/slave.

Think about this.

Girl has thought about this since reading how some wish for verification, do you have any idea how much damage you might have done to the girl or boy after they fail your verification requirement. Ever thought that it was for you the master or you the mistress that the individual you just shot down went through hell to get to where they are just to be with you the master or with you the mistress. They have already made the sacrifices to be a boy or girl, having sacrificed their families, their friends, their chances for employment just to be that boy or girl you have always wanted as your submissive.
And you just shot them out of the sky with wanting a genetically pure girl or boy. Asking for verification, may be your screening method, might imply that they are not good enough for you. Unless of course, asking for verification, is to guarantee that you a breeder is guaranteed. *rolls eyes*

This comes from the darkness. But never the less an observation and question.

Post #: 1

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:05:02 PM

DavanKael

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Gack, Aszhrae, you are in a dark place this evening. What brought this on? What's the personal stuff behind the theoreticals?
Davan

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(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 2

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:10:12 PM

ResidentSadist

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Are you really saying that a monogamous Master or Mistress that desires progeny should not want a fertile mate so they can spare a transsexual lying about their past the trauma of revealing the truth? Tell again that you think the human race is supposed to give up procreation so as not to step on the toes of a transsexual lying about their past.

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RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:10:34 PM

Naga

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It isn't just about the physical, though there is that. It is about the "energy" of the person as well. Male is male all of their life, though they may "dilute" it with surgery and hormones.

And yes, I want the submissive, spiritual female energy in my life.

That is my opinion and experience.

(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 4

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:12:12 PM

MasterFireMaam

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If you are constantly hurt by the verification process, don't deal with people who require it. You can attempt to educate people who don't want to know or you can celebrate the person you are and focus on having a wonderful life...in just the way you want. I'm not making light of the challenges in a transgendered person's life, but you must be the change you want. There ARE people here who understand the difference between biological sex and gender. Keep looking.

Master Fire

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(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 5

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:21:21 PM

UmbraDomina

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of someone is not into you, then move on, don't assume you can make someone accept you. Everyone has choices and ideals of what they want in a partner.
Don't put your self in the situation .... I have transgender ladies write me often, as my profile states I am looking for a submissive lady, and a few have been upset that I don't want a transgender woman I am seeking a biological female. It's simply my preference. Most however have been sweet and kind. I am not against transgender, the reasons for me are many fold, one of them being as I am seeking a female submissive she would also play with or be played with, my beloved slave who is a straight male who well would be freaked out a bit if he saw a lovely ladies legs and begged to run his hand up her thigh and found more then he bargined for.

< Message edited by UmbraDomina -- 11/25/2008 11:25:16 PM >

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Post #: 6

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:21:41 PM

E2Sweet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

....Does it really matter if you were born one way and are another way?...

In my experiences I've found that: To some people the sex you were born as does matter, to others it does not. Everyone is unique and each and every person has the right to want to be with someone that makes them happy.

**Edited because my last comment on the subject was a bit unfair**

< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 11/25/2008 11:32:04 PM >

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Post #: 7

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:25:57 PM

Aszhrae

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My reasoning, is a concern towards those that have given almost everything they have ever known in the world to becoming either a dominant or submissive of another gender type only to have everything they have accomplished to become for naught by the simple request of verification. By someone to whom they have everything in common with that could quite possible be the best damn dominant a submissive could ever want. Or, the best damn submissive a dominant could want.
Then to have it shattered by a photograph, a phone call or a video.
Then of course there is the trust issue.
The dominant wants to be trusted to have the sub/slave best intentions in mind. The sub/slave wants to be trusted also.
The boy having become the girl because in their heart, mind and soul, they have always been a girl and the dominant might not find anyone better, but with the single act of verification, that dream of becoming the perfect submissive is gone, just like that.
The same could be said about the girl becoming the boy.

Dominants want to be trusted by their sub/slave, and yet, by requesting verification, its obvious, they don't trust the sub/slave that is more than likely to think of their dominant as the whole world. Pity really.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 8

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:30:09 PM

MasterFireMaam

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You are going to have to let go of your feelings surrounding the fact that it IS important to some people that your gender and sex match. Until you do, it will continue to have power over you and make you miserable.

Master Fire

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(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 9

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:34:02 PM

Usako

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Everyone has a preference and everyone is allowed to have it.

And honestly, I don't even understand this need for "verification" besides the usual verification I would put anyone from the net through if I considered meeting them. A pic, a phone call, no matter gender they are. I mean...if a sub or dominant is honest in their profile then they would weed out people who are just looking for a biologically born male or female. If someone is up front and honest about their change then they'll get people who, since they already know, will be ok with it.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 10

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:36:34 PM

mbes

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Forgive me my ignorance, I don't know much about the subject matter.
Are you protesting a forced validation? or are you protesting the idea that some would want to know?
I'm assuming you're in this position, apologies if I am incorrect. Do you not want to tell? or want to tell, and think it shouldn't matter? (or whoever they may be, if you are speaking of others)

(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 11

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:37:48 PM

Aszhrae

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Are they really lying about their past, or merely trying to keep the fact they might have been a boy from becoming a girl or the girl becoming a boy, and wanting to be accepted for what they really should have been.
One argument is that you are born one way and thus should remain such as you are even if it makes that individual in question miserable, self-destructive and generally alone in the world because they just do not fit into the world. Guess they should just find the darkest shadow and disappear. Let those that accept who they are because peer pressure and society demands it continue with their lives unabated.

Isaac Asimov, I believe, did write about a neutral gender.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 12

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:41:02 PM

trealeon

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With the caveat of not knowing much about the issues that face transsexuals, I still think that the principle of upfront honesty still applies. If you're upfront and honest about what you are and seek out those who either are looking for a transsexual or do not have any limitations concerning transsexuals then it should be fine. Just be upfront about who you are from the beginning. The last thing you want to do is invest time and energy into getting to know someone, forming a bond and an attachment and perhaps a potential relationship before being open and honest about something that could be critical like that. If you're upfront then even if they reject you haven't formed a bond or attachment.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 13

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:43:01 PM

E2Sweet

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From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae
...and the dominant might not find anyone better...

It's not an issue of someone being better because they were born the gender that they are today, its more of a question of "Does anyone really have to set aside their desire to want to be with someone who was in fact born the same gender they are today?" Personally, I'd have to say no. Its just not fair to ask that of someone who really doesn't want it, regardless of the reason.

quote:

...but with the single act of verification, that dream of becoming the perfect submissive is gone, just like that...

The dream isn't necessarily gone so much as it's postponed. There's always more fishes in the sea...

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Post #: 14

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:44:53 PM

mbes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Are they really lying about their past, or merely trying to keep the fact they might have been a boy from becoming a girl or the girl becoming a boy, and wanting to be accepted for what they really should have been.

Well, yes, that would be lying, by omission.
Would you really want to be with someone with whom you couldn't be honest about something that is so large a part of your life?

(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 15

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:46:34 PM

Aszhrae

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The energy of resonance, each atom of matter having a particular frequency of resonance. You can increase it or decrease it depending upon the effect that is trying to be accomplished. Delve ever deeper into that said atom, look within the quarks themselves, eventually you would come to the very essence of that atom and its being.
Such could be the same position girl is speaking, though on a human level. The body is wrong, but the mind and spirit are something else.
The resonance is slightly faulted, its not a pleasurable sound, like nails down the chalkboard and then, you have the chance to make it right, perhaps making that very resonance sound appealing.
Does that make sense to you, Naga?

(in reply to Naga)

Post #: 16

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:48:22 PM

TazDevil

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I love how one all ways assume that TS mean they make them safe that way, ya no one ever born XXY, or YX or anything like that, even though sexily best genetic diseroed or the most common then any other gen dissoer... ha
any how the shot for you question is YES Dom's do look for TS men girl or girl men or what ever why do you think all the TG porn is keep in the same place they keep BDSM porn? even I who think of my safe as all most homophobic enjoys a good TS porn, dear god in haven, what the fuck is wrong with me...

(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 17

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:52:30 PM

Aszhrae

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Actually mbes, this girl would, but then again girl is used to looking at people beyond the physical. Girl has met some really ugly people in my my lifetime up to this point, but inside they had the personality that could knock over a mule at 50 yards away.
Then of course there the truly beautiful people on the outside, that a pug would be prettier.

(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 18

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:57:29 PM

Aszhrae

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To E2Sweet, thank you for understanding the point of this thread

To TazDevil, thank you, you managed to bring a smile to my face with the last part of your reply

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Post #: 19

RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/25/2008 11:58:07 PM

mbes

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I'm not talking about the aesthetics or the physical. I would imagine that going through something of that magnitude would have a profound effect on one's inner being, and... it just seems a shame to partner with someone who would never even have a chance at understanding it. That is what you want?

(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 20

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