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Mold me? - 11/30/2008 1:54:28 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Is it just me... am I being old and cranky or not understanding something?  What is with this mold me stuff?  I need someone to mold me, to make me a better man/woman... I just know these bad habits of mine could be changed if I had a good dominant to mold me. 

Do people really think that we as dominant wish to mold someone?  Do we want to mold someone?  Train them to our specific needs I can see... but to mold and create in a sense I cannot see.

Especially at my age, if a man isn't somewhat put together, I don't see my being able to change one darn thing and I can't see myself as interested!  I kind of expect them to be potty trained, somewhat social and able to socialize and to not need life skills training.

What do you all think?  Do you want to mold someone who is an adult?  Do we send the message that, that is what we want to do?  Is it crazy to expect an adult to have some adult skills and be somewhat able to change thier own bad habits?

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:01:51 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Depends on how much molding and in what ways.  I can see something like providing incentive to quit smoking, lose weight, or something like that.  But the basic requirements for compatability like intelligence, an appreciation for literature, and so on have to be there.  I can't turn a turkey into a swanmane, but I can nurture a cygnet into a swan, if that makes sense.

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:03:27 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		That makes sense and I am all there! lol

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:04:40 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Really, we need a whole separate board for all of us separated-at-birth femdoms...

No, I have no urge to MOLD anyone that I did not give birth to, or was given to raise.  I am an Auntie, I am a nuturing, caring, lovey old bird, but I am not anyone's mommy.  I am not interested in teaching anyone the manners that they should have learned at home, how to behave in public, which one is the salad fork, and how to put away laundry. 

There was a time when I trained new submissives, and even then, I only worked on giving them the skill set they would need in the bdsm scene, not how to survive as an adult!  I  do NOT want to have to be a role model for my life partner!   I am good at many things, but I have my own set of faults, and I need some encouragement myself!  In my world, a relationship is a give and take thing, where the people involved complement each other, not one where One is in Authority Over All and is PERFECT All the Time!  

I have approached the people (okay, MEN!) who seem to espouse this theory of dominance, and I ask them straight out, are they working with humans or dogs?  I have yet to get an answer that makes anything like sense. 

Thanks for the rant space!  I SO needed it. :)

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:05:06 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		The vibe I get off of the mold me types is that they either think thats what we want to hear or they dont want to take responsibility to have to take their own initiative. I can see providing support for something someone wants to do already, but I am not going to make someone change.
I have molded Fox into the slave I want by guiding him to make decisions I approve of, and learn things I like. I have not made any moves to change him from what he was when we met. If I have to change you into someone else to be happy with you, I should probably just spend my time finding that someone else who is already what I want.

DV


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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:09:48 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		What I've always wondered about the "i'm going to mold you" types....what makes them so sure that they're the epitome of humanity? Most of the comments about making me "better" have come from guys that don't even have their own shit together.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 11/30/2008 2:10:28 PM >

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:12:43 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Do you all think that the mindset of thinking that this is what a dominant wishes to do, is promoted by anything that we do, fantasy or in the media?

I agree with DV and LH in all you said.  Why mold and train when I can find (or can I?) someone who is already there and get on with the fun stuff?  We all have habits or something to work on and I am not opposed to support going either way, but support is different than a domme welding whip enforcing something. 

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:16:07 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Does takin` catholic school girls hostage and turnin` em into sluts count?

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:16:45 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		OsideGirl... I agree full heartedly!  I love the guy whose's picture clearly shows he isn't in control of even bathing talking about how he intents to form her body, mind and soul.  Um... what book have you been reading dude and those that come from the toilet library aren't actually highly recommended for body, mind and soul reforming.

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:18:17 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

Does takin` catholic school girls hostage and turnin` em into sluts count?


Only if you use a ruler...

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:19:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Cynical Me says this molding mindset is a power trip---and can it be coincidental that I see it with older men and young women?  As Oside says, most of the men don't have their own shit together, either!   It's fun to be the boss of someone and tell them what to do, especially when they don't have the life experience and/or gumption to say "wait a minute, Charlie!" (or the appropriate subly comment ) 

These same molders are deep into the punishment/training mindset, which is why I liken the idea to dog or animal training. 

Good for those who are into this trip, whatever makes folks happy, etc etc.  I just don't get it. 

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:23:14 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Why mold and train when I can find (or can I?) someone who is already there and get on with the fun stuff?  We all have habits or something to work on and I am not opposed to support going either way, but support is different than a domme welding whip enforcing something. 


Looking at it from a sub's point of view.   If you have to mold me, make me, change me, and train me into someone else, then I'm not who you want in the first place.  

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:27:39 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		The whole molding concept....

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:30:00 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		OkeyDOKEY.  Anyone notice that there are no male doms weighing in?

Just sayin'.

Does anyone else have a mad craving for Jello? 

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:30:10 PM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		So many of the doms are like that tho.  You're talking and say you don't like X or, in my case, that I'm not bisexual and then they say "that's because it hasn't been done by ME" or "You haven't been shown your true sexuality."  Transalation...I'll mold you into liking X.  Um, yeah, like THAT's ever going to happen. 

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:35:16 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

So many of the doms are like that tho.  You're talking and say you don't like X or, in my case, that I'm not bisexual and then they say "that's because it hasn't been done by ME" or "You haven't been shown your true sexuality."  Transalation...I'll mold you into liking X.  Um, yeah, like THAT's ever going to happen. 


LOL... they give it to me too... but you know... they sure get pissy when I let them know it is me who calls the shots and expect them to go by the same rules the submissive males do!  I think by my age I have had enough sex and men to know what I am about... no domly dom is going to change that.

(disclaimer:  No offense meant to dom's...  I like most of you!)

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:39:39 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		BDSM is full of terms that make people feel good, but aren't literally factual.  This whole "mold you into whatever I desire" tripe falls into that category.  If it were true, what purpose would compatibility serve?
 
Add it to the loooooooooong list of BDSM concepts that make us all look silly.
 
John

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:46:27 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well if I am molding someone... wouldn't that just be an extension of me?  Hey I can play that solo without the back talk.

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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:50:28 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Hmmm....I'm not averse to a bit of moulding.

I'd rather have someone aiding me develop for MYSELF than aiding me to develop in some way for THEM.

I'm NOT put together in a way that I can get the best out of myself in all areas. I'm not bothered by that idea in the least. I'm not a gibbering wreck or someone that can't stand alone.....but I AM perfectly capable of recognising that there are certain skills and attributes that M brings to bear that I do not possess.

What is so awful about being 'moulded'. And yes..... there have been a few rather unhelpful habits that have responded to a bit of 'moulding'.

I'd far rather be guided in being the best me for me , than the best me for him. I'd think far less of him if he spent his time moulding me for his own ends.

agirl







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RE: Mold me? - 11/30/2008 2:54:07 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Hmmm....I'm not averse to a bit of moulding.

I'd rather have someone aiding me develop for MYSELF than aiding me to develop in some way for THEM.

I'm NOT put together in a way that I can get the best out of myself in all areas. I'm not bothered by that idea in the least. I'm not a gibbering wreck or someone that can't stand alone.....but I AM perfectly capable of recognising that there are certain skills and attributes that M brings to bear that I do not possess.

What is so awful about being 'moulded'. And yes..... there have been a few rather unhelpful habits that have responded to a bit of 'moulding'.

I'd far rather be guided in being the best me for me , than the best me for him. I'd think far less of him if he spent his time moulding me for his own ends.

agirl









I'm in your camp, agirl.

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