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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/5/2008 10:20:52 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		You wouldn't need to do that with me. Girl may just like it to damn much and you really wouldn't get submission, just make me very wet and horny.
However, if my mistress was to simply ignore me, loneliness is a great motivator to becoming more submissive. Girl needs to be touched, no touch and you have girl begging.

(in reply to SteveAndJaz)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Beaten into submission - 12/5/2008 10:33:25 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Sounds like a hot fun scene, but not really a good long term relationship dynamic.


She got here first.

Fun for a scene but if he's got to beat me to get me to get his cereal, I'm probably not suited for this style of relationship.


Pfft, if I have the energy to beat someone into getting my cereal, I have MORE than enough energy to get up and get it my own damned self. 

But, for some people, as a play style, once in a while, which is how it certainly sounds, sure, go for it I guess.  For me, the day I strike my pet any harder than a playful swat on the butt, is the day I am selected to be the pope, the dali lama, AND the queen of denmark, just after hitting the lottery and scuba diving with 12 elephants.


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(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 3:00:30 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SageFemmexx

Sometimes the Gorean dynamic is about beating into submission. However, if someone tried it on me I would be filing charges. If the Master I am with doesn't get or deserve my submission, he certainly isn't going to get it by laying a hand on me. Sage.


Oh come on!

This is about what he likes, what I like, what makes me wet between the legs. This is about us getting off on doing something we enjoy. It has nothing to do with being judged to how dominant he is!!!

(in reply to SageFemmexx)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 3:29:41 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteveAndJaz

Jaz says:

Are there others here who sometimes get off on being beaten into submission?

I don't always go this way. If I did I doubt I would be here to tell the tale!! but sometimes I have to be shaking and bleeding on the floor before I submit.




I alluded to this in another thread about fighting. I know of a few people who because of their culture really only submit initially to a man who can and has beaten them in a fight where a knoife may be used by the female. These girls are essentially defending their virginity and on the wedding (or collaring) night, their Husband/Master must prove his ability to protect the woman by defeating her before taking her sexually.. This was common place even into the late 1900's with the hils people of Haiiti..  Were the right girl to come along who shares this propensity, I will willingly oblige and worry about her medical bills after. Frankly, a female with experience and who enjoys combat is a major turn on for me.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 12/6/2008 3:30:00 AM >

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(in reply to SteveAndJaz)
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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 3:30:51 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I suspect there is a lot of exaggeration about the description of the beating, but the whole idea of beating someone into submission is the antithesis to the art of BDSM and D/s in my mind. I can get the woman to submit without beating her like a pissed off pimp whipping one of his girls.

I can look at a smart ass pretty woman acting out and know that if I could play with her safely and mildly at first flogging, spanking or whatever, it would be a whole different game once she spaced and came back feeling, confused, so submissive and desiring me to tell her what do to.

Later she will savoir that intense time and be drawn to do it again realizing she has to be submissive if she wants the same feelings and sensations as I begin to turn things up a bit. There is no beating into submission in any of it.

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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 4:10:09 AM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SageFemmexx

Sometimes the Gorean dynamic is about beating into submission.


Huh? No.

Leave the misinformation to those who at least claim to be one...

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to SageFemmexx)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 4:33:13 AM   
Aswad


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

I can see that situation as being a wonderful scene as resistance play is an all time favorite of my own. However, I wonder how that will work as a dynamic or foundation of a relationship.


Resistance is futile...

Health,
al-Aswad.

P.S.: Just had to, and it beats "oops."
P.P.S.: Whoever had a santa avatar, does it come as a postcard?


< Message edited by Aswad -- 12/6/2008 4:43:02 AM >

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to SteveAndJaz)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 6:08:17 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		i read a thread on the 'taking in hand' site about whether it was 'acceptable' for a man (in the case of that site) to beat a woman until she agreed to do something she really really really didnt want to do.  i responded by saying - no fucking way!

but, in this context, if its fun and it gets you all slippery then absolutely, dont hold back - if you want him to beat the living shit out of you until you submit to his will then you ultimately have the control over the situation, no safe word needed, you can run that one for as long as you like before you finally aquiesce which is what you both know is going to happen anyway.

my question is - how real is that?

< Message edited by lally3 -- 12/6/2008 6:10:41 AM >

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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 6:15:23 AM   
SteveAndJaz


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Joined: 11/22/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

I separate a person with extremely masochistic needs from someone who is really being "beaten into submission" by some sort of abuser.  I'm sure that you can break non-submissive people by torture--happens in prisons and deathcamps all the time--but that crap has nothing to do with my life or the people in it.

Some people do need to be beaten, roughed up, etc, with a very force-play style of dominance.  But the submissive and masochistic need has to be there in the first place, along with the trust and consent that go with it, or I would never touch that scene.


Thanks to everyone who posted but a special thanks to ShaktiSama for simply understanding that its a need in some and able to explain that better than I did.

I am not naturally a submissive. Oh I do sometimes wait naked on all fours with a crop in my mouth for my partner to get home and I will wait in that position all night if need be but generally I am on very equal terms.
He has been out with submissives but got bored with the easiness of it all after a while. He is a sadist and as we all know, sadists tend to get off on the thought of it all being unconsensual. I am a sado/masochist and so I too get off on the thought of it not being consensual but we do have a get out clause.

The battles are not exaggerated so much as calmed for for the fear of being ridiculed and told I am being badly abused.

Some people mentioned that it could not be good for a long term relationship. May I ask for what reason?
This is not something we do every night. Christ, my body needs at least two weeks to get over this kind of stuff!. If our relationship is based on many things and not just about Dominance and submission and we are both happy with that dynamic, why on earth could it not last the distance?

P.S Thanks IronBear for that very interesting bit of info

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 6:20:47 AM   
SteveAndJaz


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Joined: 11/22/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3

i read a thread on the 'taking in hand' site about whether it was 'acceptable' for a man (in the case of that site) to beat a woman until she agreed to do something she really really really didnt want to do.  i responded by saying - no fucking way!

but, in this context, if its fun and it gets you all slippery then absolutely, dont hold back - if you want him to beat the living shit out of you until you submit to his will then you ultimately have the control over the situation, no safe word needed, you can run that one for as long as you like before you finally aquiesce which is what you both know is going to happen anyway.

my question is - how real is that?


How real is any of this? Your submission is only real until you decide not to submit anymore. Nobody can ever force you without breaking the law. Your dominance is only real until you can find nobody to dominate. You can only dominate with the consent of a submissive. Slavery is only real until you decide not to be a slave anymore!

We do have a safe word. The levels we play to we would be stupid not to. We do love each other and are both highly protective of each other but we know and understand our needs are deep. We both want that and so its as real as it has to be for us. Thats enough

(in reply to lally3)
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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 7:32:42 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

as we all know, sadists tend to get off on the thought of it all being unconsensual
Which version of the S&M Bible are you using? Obviously I need to update mine.

Fine - call me a masochist! I can live with that. I'm happy in my doormat masochist dynamic.

I'm a willing doormat for a partner who consensually submits to anything that I desire, any time I desire it; who is the willing, complimentary partner for fulfilling my fantasies, fetishes, and perversions. I'll continue to submit to her bringing me coffee complimented with a couple of shots of whipped cream served on her nipples.

As a doormat sadist, I recognized and fully accept that I'm a simply a tool serving her masochistic and submissive needs, anytime I feel like it without needing justification. Fully capable of getting my own drink, instead having her get it for me; and then having her do so without the need, or threat, of physical consequence is purely masochistic on my part.

Much better to define a true sadist by their need to enforce their dominance by physical force. Nuh-uh, not me! I don't want that label if it requires that definition. To serve me you must beg for the privilege. Refuse to obey and you lose that privilege. To have me as the source of any sensation I have to want to provide it, and not be manipulated into it by 'bratiness' or contrived disobedience. Punishment is used to address failure, a condition to be avoided and reserved to benchmark going forward from a situation of failure.

Now see, just this morning my slave forgot to put Bailey's in the coffee instead of the Monday-Friday cream. Her punishment is that she's not allowed to have whipped cream licked off of her when she comes back with the corrected version. There are just some things this masochist won't tolerate!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 12/6/2008 7:54:51 AM >

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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 7:38:04 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		I wannabe a masochist too, Merc, just like you! (I love whipped cream.)

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 7:44:25 AM   
satisfied


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteveAndJaz

Jaz says:

Are there others here who sometimes get off on being beaten into submission?

I don't always go this way. If I did I doubt I would be here to tell the tale!! but sometimes I have to be shaking and bleeding on the floor before I submit.




I understand what you are saying. I have given my submission freely to Master. However there are times yes, when i just want to be stubborn. To smart off to him and push him into forcing me to submit. It is a complete turn on to know that he can and will push me to the point where i have no other choice but to submit. Covered in bruises and welts and whimpering on the floor before i am willing to surrender? Yes please.

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He Would Have Made Our Arms Shorter!

(in reply to SteveAndJaz)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 8:42:24 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		How real is any of this?

since youve asked, its very real. 

Your submission is only real until you decide not to submit anymore. Nobody can ever force you without breaking the law. Your dominance is only real until you can find nobody to dominate. You can only dominate with the consent of a submissive. Slavery is only real until you decide not to be a slave anymore!

i think this is the point i was trying to get to. 
 
i dont decide to stop being submissive, i am, thats it, end of.  the relationship im in is perfectly real, it isnt role play i dont do role play - i am what i am and he is what he is.  as with any relationship there are the variables two people develop that might see the relationship lasting a long time or winding down but in all respects it is a real relationship with D/s as its premis.  a D doesnt stop being D and an s doesnt stop being sub at the core.  vanilla life is part of it too, but the final decision, the ultimate control always goes to the D - its about personality types.
 
i dont wake up in the morning and think, 'im not submissive today - he can fuck off'
 
you say youre not submissive, and yet youll kneel all day if necessary with a whip in your mouth.  youll get all fiesty and resistant knowing full well he'll beat the living shit out of you - what are those actions if they are not submissive - no vanilla woman i know would accept that.
 
youre dynamic is that sometimes you need him to bring you to heel, well, ok, join the club babe, we all have a little of that going on at times.
 
so its your dynamic, thats cool, but i found it a little annoying i spose in how you packaged it and the inferrance that we are all here role playing our relationships.
 
you are submissive to him, accept it and move on.  if you werent you wouldnt submit to the beating he gives you when you fight him and find it massively horny.  it wouldnt cement your relationship it would destroy it.
 
bingo! - women in abusive relationships will tell you frankly, and ive been in one or two and ive had the shit kicked out of me too, not horny, not fun, i didnt respect/love/cherish the experience.
 
wrap it up whichever way that suits you, fine, grand.  but selling it on here as being anything other than submission to the dominance of your man, which is exactly what it is and then suggesting that none of this is 'real' to any of us, whilst at the same time suggesting that what youre doing really is 'real' is incredibly irritating.
 
we're all very different and we're all very similar - some role play some dont - why we do what we do is up to us - accepting that we do what we do and why is all part of growing and accepting ourselves.


 



< Message edited by lally3 -- 12/6/2008 8:58:41 AM >

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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 10:06:24 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Waiting with a crop in her mouth says she wants the crop used on her, not that she wants to submit. This can be a play only thing for them and nonfun decisions could be made by the two of them discussing things on their merits, not made unilaterally by one of them.

I'm submissive but not masochistic. He'll never find me naked with a crop in my mouth. I actually hate the thing. If he wants to use it he has to have me blindfolded first and it put back before the blindfold comes off. Otherwise I panic.

The reason people say it wouldn't fit a long term dynamic is implicit in the OP's comment that she needs two weeks minimum recovery time. Obviously you can't do this ten times a day, every time you want a cup of coffee or such. It's an occasional play thing not the everyday basis of the relationship.

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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 10:08:54 AM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: SageFemmexx

Sometimes the Gorean dynamic is about beating into submission. However, if someone tried it on me I would be filing charges. If the Master I am with doesn't get or deserve my submission, he certainly isn't going to get it by laying a hand on me. Sage.


Oh come on!

This is about what he likes, what I like, what makes me wet between the legs. This is about us getting off on doing something we enjoy. It has nothing to do with being judged to how dominant he is!!!


A-men! A voice in the wilderness, rather than a roar in a battlefield. :)



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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 10:13:56 AM   
SteveAndJaz


Posts: 151
Joined: 11/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3

but in all respects it is a real relationship with D/s as its premis.  a D doesnt stop being D and an s doesnt stop being sub at the core. 
 
i dont wake up in the morning and think, 'im not submissive today - he can fuck off'
 
you say youre not submissive, and yet youll kneel all day if necessary with a whip in your mouth.  youll get all fiesty and resistant knowing full well he'll beat the living shit out of you - what are those actions if they are not submissive - no vanilla woman i know would accept that.
 
youre dynamic is that sometimes you need him to bring you to heel, well, ok, join the club babe, we all have a little of that going on at times.
 
so its your dynamic, thats cool, but i found it a little annoying i spose in how you packaged it and the inferrance that we are all here role playing our relationships.
 
you are submissive to him, accept it and move on.  if you werent you wouldnt submit to the beating he gives you when you fight him and find it massively horny.  it wouldnt cement your relationship it would destroy it.
 
bingo! - women in abusive relationships will tell you frankly, and ive been in one or two and ive had the shit kicked out of me too, not horny, not fun, i didnt respect/love/cherish the experience.
 
wrap it up whichever way that suits you, fine, grand.  but selling it on here as being anything other than submission to the dominance of your man, which is exactly what it is and then suggesting that none of this is 'real' to any of us, whilst at the same time suggesting that what youre doing really is 'real' is incredibly irritating.
 
we're all very different and we're all very similar - some role play some dont - why we do what we do is up to us - accepting that we do what we do and why is all part of growing and accepting ourselves.





Sorry I struck such a raw nerve with you but to be frank I don't need to get over anything darling. Im sitting here with a big grin on my face and happy with my lot.
I asked a simple question. You answered it by saying 'how real is that?' My answer is simple. Its as real as every bone in my body, its as real as Maria, it is what it is and its good. I have no problem with what I do so I absolutely refuse to move on and get over it!!!
I give little presents to my man constantly. Sometimes that may be a Dominant evil bitch, sometimes a submissive me and sometimes someone else we can both dominate but I have no desire to go down a totally submissive route. I would never be fulfilled just doing that.

(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 10:16:49 AM   
SteveAndJaz


Posts: 151
Joined: 11/22/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The reason people say it wouldn't fit a long term dynamic is implicit in the OP's comment that she needs two weeks minimum recovery time. Obviously you can't do this ten times a day, every time you want a cup of coffee or such. It's an occasional play thing not the everyday basis of the relationship.


But this is only a small part of what we do. We do many, many things and that includes going to the movies, eating out, sailing the boat and licking chocolate off each others bodies!. As well as all that we scene in many different ways and thats what keeps our relationship ongoing

< Message edited by SteveAndJaz -- 12/6/2008 10:30:05 AM >

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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 10:26:04 AM   
SteveAndJaz


Posts: 151
Joined: 11/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

as we all know, sadists tend to get off on the thought of it all being unconsensual
Which version of the S&M Bible are you using? Obviously I need to update mine.



Hmm your right to a point and I thought/knew I would be picked up on that one!
I consider Steve and myself to be safe/sane/consensual Sado/masochists and neither of us would ever dream of inflicting harm on anyone where it was not consensual or the person was not sane but saying that my entire fantasy is based on it being unconsensual. The nearest I/we can get to that fantasy is to put ourselves in a position where it feels as real and raw as it possibly can.

Perhaps I am too much a realist!



(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Beaten into submission - 12/6/2008 10:57:00 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteveAndJaz

Jaz says:

Are there others here who sometimes get off on being beaten into submission?

I don't always go this way. If I did I doubt I would be here to tell the tale!! but sometimes I have to be shaking and bleeding on the floor before I submit.



Once again, I am going to be the one on the wrong side of the fence and say OF FUCKING HELL YEA...with one exception....never dreamed...it was a vital and frequent part of my past relationship. Not something I would ever suggest someone trying or even thinking about because quite honestly....and  I am speaking from real life experience....being beaten in that way IS NOT FUN at all. However, it was something that I sometimes instigated because it was something that I needed.

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 12/6/2008 11:02:36 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 60
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