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RE: hair - 1/1/2009 9:26:10 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

You have pretty much made up your mind you want to do this and have him as your Master. Best of luck with that. I do ask you though to please consider deeply what a few of the posters mentioned. Sometimes the desire of being something over takes reality. You have no fear of death, but have a family to take care of, seems pretty crazy to me. I don't fear death either, just fear the how of it. I have noticed in this life style as well as other types of lifestyle people wants over exceeds what their needs are. They make huge mistakes. It though is in mistakes that we learn. To bad we can't learn through others experiences and avoid mistakes but when wants override reality, that seldom happens.

Best of luck to you
oceanwynds

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 61

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 11:38:13 AM

laura2161

Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

If in fact he CAN dismiss someone he's never met and has been talking to online for only two months. The requirements for ownership seem to have gotten lax.

HAH, You can say that again...though I doubt the OP is paying any attention. She is smitten with a name on her screen. Pity.

_____________________________

'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 62

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 1:11:31 PM

newleafintx

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline

I AM paying attention. I am not smitten by a name on a screen. I am smitten by the idea of what could have been . As I said I have a VERY good idea of who this person is in real life, so am not going solely by the online personna.
Besides because of my doing this it is over anyway . I am removing my profile for now. Thank you for all the advice. My heart is broken and my world destroyed . I ask for no more from this forum .Thank You.

(in reply to laura2161)

Post #: 63

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 1:23:36 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

Sugar, you don't have a master. You have a fantasy of a master.

Yes hair is just hair, but that is not the point. The point is that you are allowing yourself to be a vessel for a strangers fantasy because the idea of it all makes your heart go pitty pat and your naughty bits wet.

Yet there's still that voice in the back of your head questioning your actions, which is why you posted here. But you're gonna slap some duct tape on that voice, and go forth with his Fantastic Sam's meets the Marquis De Sade scenario because the whole notion does make your heart go pitty pat and your naughty bits wet.

Good luck with that.

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 64

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 1:29:05 PM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

One thing that's really important to learn when meeting people online is that no matter how absolutely tremendously fabulous it feels online and on the phone, it may not translate into personal chemistry when you finally meet face to face. That was a hard lesson for me, and I'd get involved in the beginning with a name on the screen and a voice on the phone ... yet a few times it just wasn't there when we finally met.

An easy solution - meet within a month. Don't let your heart go pitter patter too much before you meet. Try and maintain a healthy skepticism just to guard your emotions until you do meet ... then fall all willy nilly if that's how you both feel - go for it! We've seen it tons of times on the boards, and I've been through it personally. It happens. I know it can go the other way as well, but ... I learned not to get emotionally invested in someone until we meet. It's just easier that way.

_____________________________

** Owned by E **

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 65

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 1:55:09 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Do you like hair pulling? If so how is going to pull your hair effectively if it's very short? You could use that as an excuse if you don't want to cut it.

I certainly wouldn't do something that drastic before being comitted to someone in real life.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 66

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 2:16:58 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

He's the perfect man to submit to, until you dare question him...

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 67

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 2:29:37 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I am smitten by the idea of what could have been

Or perhaps you are just smitten by the idea, and not particularly with this person you call Master. I was 55 when I got into this, and was grateful that Sir took it slow to let me get use to Ds. Yes, in the beginning I wanted it all now, funny i wanted was one of the first things i had to learn to let go of in Ds. I went through sub frenzie, and got through it. Perhaps if you do come back to read this thread you might want to do a search on sub frenzie.

oceanwynds

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 68

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 2:43:12 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

No officer/honey I didn't do a thing... it was that other guy that beat her! I never said such a thing, I don't know what they are talking about. I just thought it... well... strange and interesting. Oh.. what's that spot on my pants? Well, you know... I had a donut before I got here.

A dominant that can't be a dominat has little value in my opinion.

Anyone can play online/phone roles... And wow... impressive that he can order something and your sweet submissive heart wishes... longs to have a part of this... it makes you feel like nothing ever has and of course you think, never will. Please listen to the wise people on this thread. He could be gone in 60 seconds and hair that long... takes years to grow. Unless you look really good in short, short hair... like some guy who cuts your hair to beat you rather than the one you feel for... rethink this. No, hair won't damage you... and actually he might not damage you... but what you allow here might very well do some damage.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 1/1/2009 2:49:00 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 69

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 3:11:04 PM

laura2161

Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newleafintx

I AM paying attention. I am not smitten by a name on a screen. I am smitten by the idea of what could have been . As I said I have a VERY good idea of who this person is in real life, so am not going solely by the online personna.
Besides because of my doing this it is over anyway . I am removing my profile for now. Thank you for all the advice. My heart is broken and my world destroyed . I ask for no more from this forum .Thank You.

You have a 'good idea' because you had to google him instead of him giving you information about himself. Your online fantasy is over because you posed a a question on a message board??? You asked a question and now your 'relationship' is over. Darling, you didnt have one to begin with.

Your heart is broken and your world destroyed because a man you've never met and have emailed for a couple months decides 'it' is over. Your world destroyed?? You are over-reacting and causing drama for yourself where there doesnt need to be any.

Meet a Man face to face- FEEL the dominance and your submission and once you do that you will look back at this so called online romance and ask yourself how you could have felt anything for a person you didnt even know. SInce you are also very new to submission and bdsm in general, I would suggest reading a few books--Not online bullshit, but read some books that have been around for a while. I cant locate the link at the moment, but there are good threads right here with names of books for beginners.

_____________________________

'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 70

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 4:47:43 PM

newleafintx

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline

My you are harsh. Here can you take that stilleto and stick it in just a little deeper. Right Here ! ooh feels good. I am a masochist. I may be new to BDSM but I am NOT new to life. Pain makes me stronger, but sometimes I fight back. That is why I classify myself as a switch. Thank you for your opinion but cutdowns are not helpful . I will read as you say. Sorry I caused your sensible nature to see some drama. I have felt a lot of emotions through this . Sorry I bothered you with them.

(in reply to laura2161)

Post #: 71

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 5:11:06 PM

nevaehangel

Posts: 30
Joined: 4/4/2008
Status: offline

Hon let me say this much, I may be half your age...but i do know this lifestyle fairly well as I have been in it for 7 years already. I must admit that what he is asking isn't normal...I do know Dominates that like their sub/slaves to have shorter hair but 95% of the ones I know prefer long hair as it is more feminine and alluring to them....(my Daddy's words exactly) but offering to do this and willing to put yourself in that situtation isn't normal my dear and its not S.S.C (Safe;;Sane;;Consenual)

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 72

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 5:15:50 PM

newleafintx

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline

Wait, did I say I was sane?
No really I appreciate all the posts. It is just so hard to let go of that balloon and watch it go sailing off into the air, especially since it was my first one!

(in reply to nevaehangel)

Post #: 73

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 5:59:08 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Over the years I've talked with new submissives. They have had this idea that if they don't play with that first Dominant they contact from online, they will never ever get to play. This seems especially true for older submissives....those in their 40s and 50s. They think they will never get another chance due to their age.

As each and every one has eventually learned after making a very wrong choice with their first play partner, there are lots of Dominants looking for older submissives. In fact, it seems that older male Dominants outnumber older female submissives by a great deal...or at least so I've noticed in my areas. In other words, a female submissive can be picky and select just the perfect Dominant for her. She does not have to settle.

I am very sorry your Dominant did not like you writing in the forum. I know this is hard to believe, but in the end it might be the best thing that has happened to you. You now have a small bit of experience. You have had time to read more, to understand more, to become more sure of what you want and need as a submissive. I hope you have taken to heart some of the advice that was given you, especially the part about female submissives not leaving behind their own common sense when dealing with anyone online.

If you can, attend your local munch or try to attend an event or two. There were no munches near where I lived so vacation time was carefully planned to include any events I wished to attend and attendance at a munch. If you don't know where and when a munch might be happening in your area, please follow the link in my signature. Caryl tries to make sure the links on her page are good, however, she can't monitor each and every organization and group all the time. Hope the link helps.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 74

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 6:11:08 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Please keep in mind many who responded to you are also masochists. I am one. Sanity is another topic all together. I read and reread many threads in the beginning because I was new to BDSM, and didn't want to go off riding on a white horse in the sunset of nowhere man. I am also a risk taker as well. At 57 years of age, I learned to read and listen to what people say, and take what fits. Yes, I been in one Ds relationship, prior to that married for a long long time. I have a lists of experiences taller then Sir who is 6'2. In other words, people are trying to give you advice so you have some food for thought regarding BDSM. If you decided to not meet this Dom. or vice versa is none of my business, but fantasies imho are a dime a dozen and replaced easily. Fantasies can mess you up too, so taking care of family might not be a reality. That might be something to think about.

oceanwynds

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 75

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 6:22:32 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Now, that is a blanket statement I will dispute. Not every one believes that you must have permission to speak to their partner. And it does not make you " not a dom" or not a "Master" to believe this, or not to know some phalacy that someone somewhere thinks all "doms" should know this rule.

There is no absolute tried and true book of how to personally do bdsm, nor is there rules, every one who wants to be a Master knows,or must know other wise they're not a Master.

Personally my X Dominant had to much to do than to worry who I was speaking to and should I be speaking to them. If I wasn't capable of discerning that for myself, Well he picked the wrong lady.

My Daddy now, Knows I would laugh and laugh loudly if he were to say I had to have his permission to speak to people. He also is to busy to worry about whom I am talking to and why. He's confident that I am capable of knowing what's acceptible and what's not and have no need to over see w ho I am talking to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: scottishjason

As to your second problem, every dom who calls himself a master knows that you do not talk so someone else’s sub or slave with out his or her direct permission. So this guy who you are talking too is most likely not who he says he is.

(in reply to scottishjason)

Post #: 76

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 6:35:04 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Recriminations aren't helpful at this point. Much good advice has already been given. Newleaf has been hurt, but she's is a big girl... she'll get over it and learn. We all learn eventually... sometimes it's more painful than others, but it's up to her now.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 77

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 6:41:35 PM

newleafintx

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline

Thank you for that post. Yes, I am a hardheaded painseeker, but I can and do learn, else why sould I still be here?

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 78

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 6:42:48 PM

newleafintx

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline

Geez I hate it when I do that. Should read - else why would I still be here?

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 79

RE: hair - 1/1/2009 7:53:43 PM

laura2161

Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newleafintx

My you are harsh. Here can you take that stilleto and stick it in just a little deeper. Right Here ! ooh feels good. I am a masochist. I may be new to BDSM but I am NOT new to life. Pain makes me stronger, but sometimes I fight back. That is why I classify myself as a switch. Thank you for your opinion but cutdowns are not helpful . I will read as you say. Sorry I caused your sensible nature to see some drama. I have felt a lot of emotions through this . Sorry I bothered you with them.

I did not call you any names nor did I cut you down. I am a complete stranger and you're letting my words hurt you. I told you, you are causing drama for yourself (IE: Your world destroyed)

Be well, stay safe and learn all that you can.

_____________________________

'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

(in reply to newleafintx)

Post #: 80

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