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RE: hair - 1/1/2009 8:00:58 PM   
newleafintx


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline 		Oh ok, my world was not destroyed. Probably moved no more than a cup of dirt. Still dreams die hard and like it or not my dream went poof and it did hurt. But I am a true pain seeker and the sting is fading.  Life goes on. Besides I am beginning to see the ocean full of fish. (licks lips hungrily)

(in reply to laura2161)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: hair - 1/1/2009 8:04:14 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		No, She doesn't know him never met him and this is a demand from a stranger before anything has been established.


quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside


Personally, I don't think cutting your hair for someone else, especially someone you call Master, to be dangerous in any way.  There may be danger in what it implies (what's next after cutting your hair off?) but assuming you know him and feel safe with him, it should be no more dangerous than paying a barber to do it.


(in reply to NormalOutside)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: hair - 1/1/2009 8:16:25 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Nice generalization, but there are probably a few doms who would do this, and while rare, it does make your statement no male dom is willing to, inaccurate.

Infact I can't be sure because it was a long time ago having read it but there was a thread started on going through one dom to talk to a sub, would you do it and I think  at least one male dominant.said yes they would.
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

No dominant male is willing to kowtow to another dominant male in order to be allowed to exchange emails with some unknown sub.



(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: hair - 1/1/2009 11:40:33 PM   
Cdub2U


Posts: 69
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newleafintx

Oh ok, my world was not destroyed. Probably moved no more than a cup of dirt. Still dreams die hard and like it or not my dream went poof and it did hurt. But I am a true pain seeker and the sting is fading.  Life goes on. Besides I am beginning to see the ocean full of fish. (licks lips hungrily)


It sounds like all you want to do is enjoy some play time with a Dom that will give you the pain you desire.  I would love to suggest that you come play in our dungeon in Baton Rouge.  We have a very large facility with dungeon masters that will help keep you safe.  If you are interested mail me... I am the S to your m




_____________________________

"Free your mind and your ass will follow
the kingdom of heaven is within"
G. Clinton

"Can't you see, it all makes perfect sense
Expressed in Dollars and cents, Pounds shillings and pence"
R. Waters

(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: hair - 1/2/2009 12:23:05 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If this isn't a classic example of sub frenzy I don't know what is.


It might be. It might not be.

If I were going to play with someone that I'd talked to a lot and they wanted to dye my hair blue during my first scene with them there is a pretty good chance I'd actually do that because I would love to do that anyway.

There are many reasons women alter their hair and there may be more at work than simply wanting to please him. Since she said that she talked about this with her family I assume she's considered all angles of possible job loss, etc.



BTW, OP, I do have to say that the fact that he dismissed you for posting this is a red flag for me. You are new and were seeking advice. It would have been more than enough to let it go with a simple scolding and a "Ask me first from now on". I know it sucks and I know it hurts but keep this in mind when you are talking to new potentials. If I were you I wouldn't put myself in a position where I can be dismissed until after we've met, not owned, collared, anything.

Best wishes.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: hair - 1/2/2009 2:52:22 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Well, it seems you're back on the level and beginning to see straight again - welcome back! 

A lot of us have gone through situations similar to yours - I remember meeting for the first time the dom I'd been chatting to for months online and on the phone, and crying all the way home because there was no chemistry there at all!  But it's a learning experience...lol

But what helped me to figure out dating in this lifestyle was talking to people.  You made the first, brave step by posting on here.  Now make the next step and join a munch or club.  I've made so many wonderful friends - dom and sub - and I don't know how I'd do without them now!

Good luck, and hopefully you'll continue to participate in the message boards.


_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: hair - 1/2/2009 5:50:15 AM   
newleafintx


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline 		Update : to all who have contributed to this thread and to those who have followed it to the bitter end. I was not dismissed by my master. He threatened to dismiss me, was to get back to me but never did. I have been unable to contact him by phone and have gotten no email reply. However, this morning I have sent him both a phone message and an email as a resignation. I have quit, and since I do not quit anything easily this was hard. It has been an emotional time and I will have to pick myself up and start over but that won't be a first for me. Thank you to all that posted and know that - I DID LISTEN! newleaf

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: hair - 1/2/2009 6:00:26 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		newleaf, I'm sorry you went tthrough what you did.  But I'm glad that you are over most of it.

That said, let me give you a belated Welcome to Collarme.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: hair - 1/2/2009 6:15:48 AM   
newleafintx


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you , sir. I am glad I found this place. New

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: hair - 1/2/2009 7:56:11 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		There is a dominant out there right now... just looking for a submissive woman just like you... in fact... you!  I am so happy to read your words as they have progressed and changed throughout the thread.  It is painful to want something, think you have found it, get close to someone and then find everything blowing in the wind... but sometimes the wind blows away some trash and it lands in another's yard.  Be glad you are still standing and free and with your hair(!) and are more ready to find that special guy who is looking for you.

There are some great people around here.  I think you will find that the good one's make the wait to find that special someone, pretty special in itself!  Hang in there and have fun!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: hair - 1/2/2009 9:55:43 AM   
bratnwranglers


Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newleafintx

Update : to all who have contributed to this thread and to those who have followed it to the bitter end. I was not dismissed by my master. He threatened to dismiss me, was to get back to me but never did. I have been unable to contact him by phone and have gotten no email reply. However, this morning I have sent him both a phone message and an email as a resignation. I have quit, and since I do not quit anything easily this was hard. It has been an emotional time and I will have to pick myself up and start over but that won't be a first for me. Thank you to all that posted and know that - I DID LISTEN! newleaf


soo happy for you honestly, and it might be a let down, but it is a good thing, you do not want to submit to someone playing games trying to get you to jump though hoops and i hate when i see the word threaten..usually means not many if any lines of communication were open, and without communication, you don't have any kind of relationship, BDSM or otherwise :) good luck in your search.. stay positive :)


< Message edited by bratnwranglers -- 1/2/2009 9:56:50 AM >

(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: hair - 1/2/2009 4:28:33 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I haven't read through the thread, and I'm sure you're getting words of caution, but I'm going to throw in my three cents too.  Online is not always what it seems.  I don't know if this guy is physically dangerous, not enough info, but he certainly is asking a major committment really quickly.  Two months of knowing someone, even IRL, let alone online is not much.  All is not what it seems online, and everyone who has had a bad experience thought their online to IRL story would be different than all those sob stories they hear, but the truth is that the transition just doesn't always go well. 

Giving up something that important to you could commit you to a path that might not be the best thing for you.  Making a tangible committment like cutting your hair could make you feel trapped into something and try to make it work because you've made this big committment, and lead to even deeper changes and commitments that could be incredibly hard to break.  I say take it slow.  It sounds like he is trying to manipulate you and bind you to him before you have made the decision for yourself.  You are not his yet.  Exercise your right to choose who you make that committment to and get to know him as a person IRL before you choose to commit to him physically (including your hair).  That is my advice, take it or leave it.

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: hair - 1/3/2009 7:03:09 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newleafintx

Thank you , sir. I am glad I found this place. New


I'm glad you found this place too, New. Please do relax and stay a while and keep asking for advice and continue to learn the lessons of this first experience. I speak from experience, I've been there before, as have many (if not all) of us on here. We were all new, eager, enthusiastic to dive in, and most of us have met someone online that we fell for before even meeting, only to have it turn out lukewarm or worse. Everyone who has said this is absolutely correct: there is someone out there for you who is legitimate, caring, and will give you what you need - but you won't know this person without putting in some real time towards finding him and building a relationship with him. Unless there's a very good reason, meeting in real life after no more than several weeks of chatting usually turns out best (even if you don't end up liking the guy you haven't spent months building a fantasy about him.) Even better is meeting someone through the local community who can be vouched for by others. My advice to new people is to sit back and observe, or maybe even play, for your first 6 months without entering into a formal relationship. As you've seen, letting someone have such a degree of control over you so quickly can lead to less-than-desirable results.

Maybe this thread is over now, I'm slowly making my way to the end of it, but I wish you the best of luck and hope we'll see you around in the future.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: hair - 1/4/2009 12:46:03 AM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Welcome new, compared to many unhappily ever after stories of those new to the D/s life you have come out relatively unscathed.You learned quite a few lessons that could of cost dearly, but you got the big 70% discount ~wink~..slow down and enjoy the journey as best you can...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: hair - 1/4/2009 11:48:07 AM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newleafintx

Oh ok, my world was not destroyed. Probably moved no more than a cup of dirt. Still dreams die hard and like it or not my dream went poof and it did hurt. But I am a true pain seeker and the sting is fading. Life goes on. Besides I am beginning to see the ocean full of fish. (licks lips hungrily)
It's been 3 days since you wrote the above, and I'll bet some of those fish have begun mailing you in the interum.
Patience, and perseverence! (...and discernment. Remember - it's not the blue light special at K-mart. Take your time.)
Best of luck.

(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: hair - 1/4/2009 2:04:44 PM   
secretsub1957


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		 Dear Precious Angel,

     You are very vulnerable in this first beginnings of being a sub. It is a time when a person would normally want to nurture and support you in your journey. I find the real masters ask very little at first. They want you to feel very safe and comfortable. I would not recommend you follow any command of any kind until you really feel safe,loved and want to. You should not be asked to go this far right away and if someone asks too much,too soon he is not for real. At least he is not experienced enough to know better. Alot of masters ask for a symbol of devotion such as a tatoo and from what I have read this usually occurs at about one year of the relationship. In the beginning you can get going pretty fast and get hurt. In my opinion a wedding ring is what should be worn and the reason why I believe in this over the collar is that it is legally binding and there is some protection for the sub. Subs give it all and I think they should be very safe. I would not cut my hair for anyone in anyway I didnt want it to be cut and i would not change anything unless it was really my choice too. I wish you well, be careful and slow down,snuff the roses and smile at children and be yourself and if you choose this person to dominate you,you are gving a gift and it must be given freely and treasured.
                                                                                                                         Take care sweet one,
                                                                                                                                             Mommy

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: hair - 1/7/2009 8:04:44 AM   
M4STER


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newleafintx

Update : to all who have contributed to this thread and to those who have followed it to the bitter end. I was not dismissed by my master. He threatened to dismiss me, was to get back to me but never did. I have been unable to contact him by phone and have gotten no email reply. However, this morning I have sent him both a phone message and an email as a resignation. I have quit, and since I do not quit anything easily this was hard. It has been an emotional time and I will have to pick myself up and start over but that won't be a first for me. Thank you to all that posted and know that - I DID LISTEN! newleaf


BRAVO, it has been amazing to read through this whole thread, just to see how newleafintx has completely changed her mind and attitude. At first she was confused and avoiding the truth about her "master". Then she panicked as her "master" dismissed her for no reason and she became a victim. Then went into denial about the whole situation. Finally she rose, stopped being a victim and took control of her own situation because the people here didn't allow her to play that game, didn't give her pity but encouraged her to learn and gave her insight into the situation. I think this is a success not only for newleafintx, but also for the people involved in this thread.

(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: hair - 1/5/2010 7:25:40 PM   
newleafintx


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline 		I doubt that anyone who originally posted here will read this, however if you do,  Thank you. As an update. I did finally find a wonderful Master who suits me well. A further update is the predator who this whole thread is about is still on the loose. I never did meet him. I have made acquittance with a woman who did cut off her hair for him. She never got to meet him either. Sad. Thankfully no other harm was done, except emotionally. I am still affected by him emotionally, also. He has that effect. I am lucky to have an understanding Master, whose guidance and love, have helped me in my recovery of that time. Things are going well for me. Thank you again. Newleafintx

(in reply to M4STER)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: hair - 1/5/2010 9:51:09 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		LOL

Didn't realize how old this thread was and that I already posted and still agree with myself.

*goes off to read why the hell this thread got rezzed*

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/5/2010 9:54:10 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to scottishjason)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: hair - 1/6/2010 1:06:03 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newleafintx

I doubt that anyone who originally posted here will read this, however if you do,  Thank you. As an update. I did finally find a wonderful Master who suits me well. A further update is the predator who this whole thread is about is still on the loose. I never did meet him. I have made acquittance with a woman who did cut off her hair for him. She never got to meet him either. Sad. Thankfully no other harm was done, except emotionally. I am still affected by him emotionally, also. He has that effect. I am lucky to have an understanding Master, whose guidance and love, have helped me in my recovery of that time. Things are going well for me. Thank you again. Newleafintx


Ok, damn that was a lot of reading. Actually, you will find a LOT of the people who posted to this (I was not one, sadly) will be back and comment just like AquaticSub. It is SO RARE that there is such a "high drama" thread that actually gets not only an update but a happy ending!

Believe it or not, I think I can speak for many by saying that getting to find out how things are going a year later is really cool, again especially since for you the ending is a happy one.

I have to ask though, aren't you really and truly glad that his acting like such an ass with this silly threat of "dismissal" cause you to "resign" without ever going through with the hair cut? My condolences to that other woman though.

(in reply to newleafintx)
Profile   Post #: 100
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