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ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

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Being judged according to their method of communication just displays an individual's lack of flexibility in their understanding of others.

It may also show that they have an appreication for people who write well and communicate effectively.  These are not bad things to be picky about.

Yes, because people get to choose who they are partnered with and perhaps one with a masters degree might not want to be with one who doesn't have the mental means to keep them engaged.

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ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

After all, the purpose of the profile is to make a good impression, and having correct spelling and grammar goes a long way towards that...

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ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

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ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

After all, the purpose of the profile is to make a good impression, and having correct spelling and grammar goes a long way towards that...

 

I couldn't disagree more. Grammar is similar to rules: any old parrot can regurgitate the rules. Can you come up with something new? something unusual? something different? Now that is of value.

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ORIGINAL: SilverMark

Grammar and spelling is indeed a "tell" or indicator of things when it comes to a first impression. Not unlike appearance, people make judgments on what is in evidence. As the son of an English teacher and an Attorney it was pounded into me as a kid to speak well and write correctly. We may not like that people judge us based on such things but, it is a reality, especially under the circumstances that we are communicating with only words. I do love when someone goes to correct another and makes mistakes in their corrections!

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ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub
I understand and even agree with Your statement that originality is of value; however, a comedian can have a hilarious joke to tell, but if he doesn't deliver his lines well, the joke falls flat. 

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ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

however, a comedian can have a hilarious joke to tell, but if he doesn't deliver his lines well, the joke falls flat. 

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ORIGINAL: khalya

I was perusing the forums, as I often do, and I came across an interesting topic. I read it, and I appreciated the comments that were left, but there was one thing that concerned me.

The individual that posted the question had horrible spelling. Her spelling wasn't the problem. The problem was the people that attacked her based on her ability to spell. It was pointed out--by a member-- that the poster had severe dyslexia, and had informed the community by putting that information in her profile. It was then suggested that she alert everyone on the forums, by putting this information in her signature, so she wouldn't get attacked.

The poster shouldn't have to alert anyone to anything. She should be able to ask a question, and get an answer; irregardless of the manner in which it was spelled. No one should get attacked based on their spelling.

Time and time again, I see people being attacked about their ability to spell, or their grammar errors. If a person is genuinely wanting information about the lifestyle, and they are brave enough to ask, then I think that there is a responsibility for more experienced individuals to answer in a non-judgemental manner.

This is one of the few place where people can get information about the lifestyle. Consequently, the forums should be a safe space for everyone.

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ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

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ORIGINAL: marie2
I just hate when I see people getting ridiculed for it, especially if it's the result of a learning disability. 

That's what I mean by someone who is limited by a "literary wheelchair" Marie.  We're online.  We can't see that disability.  We are not mind readers.  We have no way of knowing the disabilty exists if they keep it to themselves - and then simply become offended when someone else makes a comment on their lack of skill.  Stating it in a profile is all well and good - for those who actually go take a look at that profile.  How many of us take the time to look at Every Profile of Every Poster - even if it's the first time we've seen that person post?  Damned few of us, myself included in the group that doesn't - not unless the person's post contains something that piques my interest in particular, or I decide to shoot them an email privately on the other side concerning their post.  (And more often than not, those two things go hand in hand with me.)  If they don't want to get "picked on" - or to Feel "picked on" - then they should preface their OP with "I have a learning disability that makes it hard to write" or "I have dyslexia."  Or perhaps put it in their sig line, so that it's automatically stated Any time they happen to post - and easily viewable by anyone replying to them on the forums without having to go look at the profile to find out!

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ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

Aszhrae - it doesn't take a post-secondary education to learn the basics of grammar, spelling, and punctuation.  All of those were things which I was taught during Primary School.  The lessons in such fundamental communications skills began well prior to the 4th grade.  Should I instead assume that educational standards have fallen so far beneath where they were while I was in primary school, that people are now allowed to graduate highschool with less Basic knowledge than I was required to have before I was even allowed to go to junior high?  I'm not that damned old  - in my early 40s - and yet the only other alternative that comes to mind is that I somehow lucked out and got a superior Public School education at the primary level in a state that's chronically been considered mostly behind the curve.  I'm certainly not that superior in basic intelligence that something that was taught from 1st grade on should be comprehensible to me yet incomprehensible to others.
 
If someone who has Graduated High School is incapable of reading and writing at a Grade School Level - then there's a Serious Problem - and it's Not a problem with those who expect them to be capable of reading and writing at a high school level!

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ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Only where you value grammar, LaM.

I couldn't care less providing something interesting is being put forward. I'll take creative thinking over following the rules.

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ORIGINAL: khalya

I was perusing the forums, as I often do, and I came across an interesting topic. I read it, and I appreciated the comments that were left, but there was one thing that concerned me.

The individual that posted the question had horrible spelling. Her spelling wasn't the problem. The problem was the people that attacked her based on her ability to spell. It was pointed out--by a member-- that the poster had severe dyslexia, and had informed the community by putting that information in her profile. It was then suggested that she alert everyone on the forums, by putting this information in her signature, so she wouldn't get attacked.

The poster shouldn't have to alert anyone to anything. She should be able to ask a question, and get an answer; irregardless of the manner in which it was spelled. No one should get attacked based on their spelling.

Time and time again, I see people being attacked about their ability to spell, or their grammar errors. If a person is genuinely wanting information about the lifestyle, and they are brave enough to ask, then I think that there is a responsibility for more experienced individuals to answer in a non-judgemental manner.

This is one of the few place where people can get information about the lifestyle. Consequently, the forums should be a safe space for everyone.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Since I'm the one who suggested the aforecited poster put up a sig line mentioning her dyslexia, allow me to explain. Whether or not people should be mocked for poor language skills is not in question by any right thinking person. However the truth is that people with poor language skills will be mocked. People do things that are wrong, read any newspaper to discover that truth.

If someone with severe dyslexia posts, he or she will be attacked and abused. That's a fact of life. It is equally a fact that even today children are frequently not diagnosed with LDs, and they do get called lazy and stupid. Someone with problems in r/l can invoke the Americans with Disabilities Act to protect them from abuse, if they know about it. Equally the most effective way for this poster not to be attacked again is to mention her disability. The same way that we issue handicap stickers for cars so that someone with severe heart disease, who appears healthy will not be attacked for using a handicapped parking space.

I applaud the OP for wishing things were different than they are but I urge her to face reality and accept the fact that people aren't all good, and never will be. A healthy dose of cynicism is always helpful in life.

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ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

I've seen the topic come up a multitude of times.  I've been asked on more than one occassion why I tend to be a bit Anal regarding my insistance on having good written communication skills - grammer, spelling, punctuation, etc. - if someone is going to contact me via email.  I've been asked that frequently enough, in fact, that I finally wrote a public journal entry regarding my reasons for said anal attitude - I'm reposting that journal entry here.
 

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Someone inquired recently as to the reasons for my seeming bit of analness (is that even a word?) concerning the use of good grammer, spelling, and punctuation whilst writing.  To enlighten the masses (though I have my doubts as to whether they'll actually read this, or pay heed to it if they do) I've decided to answer said question.

In my past, I have been plagued with the attentions of men who lacked good writing skills.  A lack which I overlooked and ignored with the thought that I was perhaps being unfair to them, or there must be Some good reason why the lack existed.  There was a good reason - it indicated a lack of sufficient intelligence on their part to keep up with me mentally. 

Those attempted relationships subsequently failed for various reasons, most of which can be traced back to the inequity of our respective Ability to learn, and to retain comprehension of what we learned.  This, in turn, taught me that it is unwise for me to attempt to form any sort of serious relationship with someone who lacks the ability to easily and quickly demonstrate to me that his level of intelligence is similar to my own.

I grew to view the ability to communicate effectively in this medium as an indication of potential suitability.  I reasoned that someone who Actively Chooses to use the written word as a form of self introduction, networking, screening for potential mates, and hence communication, yet is incapable of actually Using said medium to the commonly accepted scholastic standards, in all likelihood there is one of four causes:

1. The person lacks sufficient intelligence to learn - in which case I have no use for them.  Pity perhaps, but little use. 
   
2. The person is to lazy to learn - in which case I have even less use, and utterly no sympathy, for them.  Lazy people tend to deny personal responcibility, which is something that I simply will not tolerate in another. 
   
3. The person is so bound by their own ego they fail to realize that they need honest improvement in such a simple area - in which case I not only have no use for them, but seriously feel they need to see a shrink to address their issues with narcicism. 
   
4. English (the written language of my native tongue) is not their first language - in which case we probably have to little in common to sustain more than a passing aquaintance, and would be unable to communicate effectively outside the written word as well.

Since I wrote that explanation, I've been accused by a couple of folks (most of whom couldn't spell or use correct grammer or punctuation during their tirade) of being pretensious (I'm not), of being elitist (only sometimes), of being arrogant (check the thesaurus - that's the same as saying pretensious), and gods forbid my fingers got ahead of my brain and I happened to have a typo that got missed during edit review - of being a hypocrit (I'm not - I hold myself to the same grammatical standards that I hold anyone and everyone else.)