RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman

RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (Full Version)

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YourhandMyAss -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/3/2009 12:42:01 PM)
I am a natural born women, and I will not take flack and bullshit with a smile, Nor will I always have a nice tone that says yes I am sweet. I am capable of being quite bitchy when a situation calls for it too, and I have no problem with it. Who says women must smile and always be sweet and never appear bitchy, Or are you saying that is how you personally feel a woman acts, and it's not how ALL women should do. quote: ORIGINAL: gretademille When I say living: that means from day to night I dress like a woman, talk like a woman, think like a woman and take flak and shit like other woman do. I have to smile and not look bitchy, always have a nice tone in my voice that says yes: I am sweet.

LadyEllen -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/3/2009 12:47:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss I am a natural born women, and I will not take flack and bullshit with a smile, Nor will I always have a nice tone that says yes I am sweet. I am capable of being quite bitchy when a situation calls for it too, and I have no problem with it. Who says women must smile and always be sweet and never appear bitchy, Or are you saying that is how you personally feel a woman acts, and it's not how ALL women should do. Indeed. I was so sweet and mild mannered once - then I transitioned and became a right bolshy bitch! E

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/3/2009 12:55:16 PM)
I'd simply be like hey I am a transgendered living as a woman full time, and I am awaiting SRS. If people can't handle it would you really want to date someone who had an issue with you becoming the true you, that you were meant to be? quote: ORIGINAL: gretademille I personally think everybody is not answering my question. I live as a woman, I have job, I meet clients, people flirt with me, it's bound that something happens where feelings are involved, I'm asking HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE INTRODUCED TO THE IDEA THAT SOMEONE YOU ARE DATING AND/OR INTERESTED IN IS A TG WOMAN. So that it's non-threatening or makes you feel like a fool. So put your anger aside and answer the question if you can, if not keep your anger to yourself!

winterlight -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/3/2009 12:58:22 PM)
i have nothing against anybody that is different. I work with a transgendered person. I won't get into her personality! A therapist telling you that is frankly unbelievable. You must be upfront and honest. We all get rejection. I get rejected because i am overweight. I figure i will have to meet a lot of duds before i find that right person in my life. Once i find him the looking will be worthwhile. If i do not find anybody so be it. I am at the point right now where i am happy being with me.

SavageFaerie -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/3/2009 1:09:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gretademille I personally think everybody is not answering my question. I live as a woman, I have job, I meet clients, people flirt with me, it's bound that something happens where feelings are involved, I'm asking HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE INTRODUCED TO THE IDEA THAT SOMEONE YOU ARE DATING AND/OR INTERESTED IN IS A TG WOMAN. So that it's non-threatening or makes you feel like a fool. So put your anger aside and answer the question if you can, if not keep your anger to yourself! personaly I think it comes down to if you have fully transgendered. Having had the full surgery and official gender change legally it makes you female. Conrary to the mass thinging total change from one gender to another makes that person the gender they are. If your preop I would take care to be honest.

Aszhrae -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/3/2009 1:20:02 PM)
If I am asked, I reveal the truth of my physiology. It is there option if they choose to remain in their ignorance but at least I took the initiative to inform them. Some react negatively and some in the past have reacted violently. Others have reacted with indifference and others have actually reacted with acceptance. I find it a blessing when the person that I have revealed my situation to, actually respond with curiosity and want to learn more about me. Women tend to be more accepting and curious. Men on the other hand are my greatest source of angst. Unless they are gay, which is a 50/50 split. Either I am received by disgust or I am met with understanding, some react with fascination. Even though it is something they would never consider themselves, providing insight into my transformation actually makes me feel good about my choice. A system that would have me openly lie to others and have me compromise my own morality I find questionable. I do love how sometimes when I was given my own time I have been the recipient of many comments, such as the following: negative remarks giggling by girls much younger than my self remarks upon how I am attired, recently a remark from a passing truck, where a woman rolled down her window to shout the comment: Puss in Boots. another comment I remember in passing I overheard: two guys walk passed me, one asked the other, 'is that a guy or a girl?' the other guy asked,'who?' and then I heard,'her'. You have no idea how good that felt, when an individual's own subconscious answers the question before the mind has a chance to reason. If they had stopped me to ask, I would have been totally up front. Being in transition is part of my greatest joy when others want to be informed. Greatest angst when they spit out prejudice and condemnation in display of their ignorance. Do not compromise your morality because a therapist tells you do so. I would be questioning the morality of your therapist and look for another therapist. I find my self fortunate that I am not having to do my transition under the scrutiny of the Clarke's Institute. Their morality is stuck in the 50s. Here in Vancouver, BC, it has more to do with self-expression, finding your own identity and being comfortable in your own skin. People here are much more liberal in their acceptance as long as you are honest while in transition. I agree with Faerie. If your identification says female. Then you are female. If the male in question asks or wants to have children with you. It might be prudent just to say that you can't. Simply saying that you are barren should be enough.

LadyEllen -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/3/2009 1:44:20 PM)
That reminds me of an occasion in my early transition Ashzrae. I was about a month from suicide at the time, very down, making no effort whatever, dressed like a slob etc. I had to go to the supermarket where I encountered three young thugs kicking a can about the car park. Naturally (being female) the can came my way and I looked over at them, at which I received the joyous salutation to "fuck off you stupid bitch". That really quite made my day in what was a bad time generally. E

E2Sweet -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/4/2009 6:25:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gretademille Maybe you might have an idea on how you would like someone to tell you they are TG? Thanks I do, I do. In persuing a personal relationship, I'd want to know before the first date. I personally don't like to surprise others, or be surprised, with such important details.

BitaTruble -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/4/2009 1:08:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gretademille HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE INTRODUCED TO THE IDEA THAT SOMEONE YOU ARE DATING AND/OR INTERESTED IN IS A TG WOMAN. What a person has above the neck is much more important to me than what lies below the waist. Personally, I wouldn't care. I'm bi and whether or not you're a man or a woman really doesn't matter to me. If we connect brain to brain, heart to heart .. that's a great start. The naughty bits are involved later so whether they dangle or not it is okay with me to save those details for later, too or, just surprise me. I love surprises! [;)] I think that's probably the exception rather than the rule though. Think of it this way.. anyone who is going to have a problem with you being TG, well, you might as well get that out up front and save yourself time because they're probably not going to be compatible with you anyway. It's really to your own benefit to trust yourself and your judgment enough to just go ahead and tell people and let the chips fall where they may. Some of us will just say.. "Yeah.. and?? Do you kick dogs and steal candy from babies or do you have some news which is horrible that would change how I view you as a person? No? Let's go to lunch." [8D]

MistresseLotus -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/4/2009 4:19:11 PM)
I was watching a program that stated the ONE way a transexual can be identified: a woman's index finger is longer than her ring finger- a male's is not. (just thought I'd share that) You are now returned to your regular channel.

MRandme -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/4/2009 4:22:35 PM)
checks hands mine are the same length. weird!

gretademille -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/4/2009 5:32:03 PM)
Thanks for all the wonderful insights given today! I REALLY DO APPRECIATE. I've realised that well no matter when I talk about "it" some people will get angry, so it's better earlier than later. But I still don't think I'll say it on the first date. If I feel the person is too judmental or seems to have issues I think I'll just skip to the next in line if that happens. Thanks again!

Alixandria -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/4/2009 6:01:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus I was watching a program that stated the ONE way a transexual can be identified: a woman's index finger is longer than her ring finger- a male's is not. (just thought I'd share that) You are now returned to your regular channel. Well my index finger is shorter than my ring finger. As far as I know I am a genetic female (no ums but a lifetime of periods and a tubal ligation where the surgeon noticed nothing special). So I'm not sure that that is a rule I'd rely on to determine whether or not someone is a transexual. Alix

GreedyTop -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/4/2009 6:41:53 PM)
IMO, the assertion that you can tell whether or not a woman is TG based on her adams apple is as much a crock of shit as saying the finger lengths have anything to do with it, or 'a dominant personality' has a longer second toe than the big toe. I personally have a prominent adams apple. I've even been asked (!!!!!) to show my groin to PROVE that I'm really a woman based on that. sheesh

LaTigresse -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/4/2009 7:47:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus I was watching a program that stated the ONE way a transexual can be identified: a woman's index finger is longer than her ring finger- a male's is not. (just thought I'd share that) You are now returned to your regular channel. False. It is also supposed to be a test to check if a woman is a lesbian. Neither is correct.

VampiresLair -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/4/2009 8:01:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus I was watching a program that stated the ONE way a transexual can be identified: a woman's index finger is longer than her ring finger- a male's is not. (just thought I'd share that) You are now returned to your regular channel. I am 100% genetic female, and my index finger is quite a bit shorter than my ring finger. So, I guess that debunks that idea right off eh?

E2Sweet -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/5/2009 1:41:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop ....I've even been asked (!!!!!) to show my groin to PROVE that I'm really a woman based on that..... I'm sooooo sorry about that. I really just wanted to see you nekkid. There are no hard feelings right? [:D] Edited for comedic effect...

GreedyTop -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/5/2009 2:57:31 AM)
snort

MadAxeman -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/5/2009 3:18:51 AM)
And...ahem...did you pull it off? Or just tuck it underneath? [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

SoulPiercer -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/5/2009 3:21:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gretademille Hi everybody, I've transitioned for about two years now. And I've often discussed with my therapist the frustration that most guys I meet through the internet are always about sex and rarely have any interest in dating or trying to have an actual relationship. Hey Greta, Any "GG" will tell you, a lot of guys you meet through the internet are looking for sex and not a meaningful relationship. It has little to do with you being a TG woman. I agree with others who say, your therapist is off base on this one. Tell them upfront.

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