RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them

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RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/10/2009 10:07:37 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper
I have made My Pet promise me she has the capability of using her safeword, deciphering play from abuse, and (should the grim situation arise) have the means and will to leave me.

Frequently, when I'm playing hard, I can't use my safeword, or say my own name. If I'm playing with someone to that level, we often use a drop such as a keyring to get his attention, even though I'm not gagged. Most people find my body language easy to read, and happy babble/moaning has a different tone than if I'm struggling. Occasionally, a strike will make me freeze, and I can't move or breathe for a second or two. The person I was with at the time has always noticed, and given me a few seconds to process it until I can get going again. Safewords are a good idea, and can be a helpful tool, but they aren't a substitute for paying attention to your partner.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

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RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/10/2009 11:13:23 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
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That's a terrific warning. I've yet to find a fail safe system because each mechanic has a potential flaw. Redundancy is helpful, but can become cumbersome.

My Pet has never needed to stop play, but she has the potential to get into that situation. She fantasizes and craves more than I think she can handle. She insist she can handle it... If I take my foot off the brakes, this car will zoom away. She's easy to read, too - which I'm thankful for, but it scares me when she locks up.

We don't tinker with potentially fatal forces, but the possibility for psychological harm during intense humiliation is very real. Sometimes she gets deep into subspace and needs extensive aftercare to return to a normal human state.

Where was I going with this..?

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RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/10/2009 1:07:32 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

We all know why I used the term lioness but it was not meant as literally as many took it.

Nods... yeah... I understood the meaning behind the word... maybe because I have some degree of understanding of who you are. I can also appreciate why some that lack this knowledge could misunderstand your word usage. However, it might of been more constructive to ask for clarification than to make an assumption on what you were meaning and jump down your throat about it.

Sad thing... I think most of us make this error... see a label (word) and apply our own definition to the word and sometimes the definition of the speaker is somewhat different than the listener and we have a miscommunication.

and Marie2..... if I called you a Hot Womanly Slut!.....how would your day be going?

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 123

RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/10/2009 2:22:32 PM

Andalusite

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Hi, HeavansKeeper,
I figure if it hasn't been an issue yet, it's not a big deal. I just think it's important for Dom/mes and Tops (especially who are new, or playing with a new person) to be aware that their partner may become incoherent or non-verbal. I personally can handle a pretty high degree of intensity in many areas (like thud play and suspension bondage) and a complete wimp in others (like sting). It also depends on how warmed up I am at the time, and other factors. Anyway, enjoy exploring!

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Post #: 124

RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/13/2009 4:29:35 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Are we all not just a mixture of strength and weakness?

Human nature and indeed the cosmos evolves freely in accordance with natural law. Freedom is thus the essence of man and with freedom comes choice, risk, pain and the 'wrong decision'. The wrong decision suggests weakness. It follows thus you can invoke the very foundation of evolution to support your statement: choice can only possibly lead to failure and weakness at times. Can you imagine a world without the freedom to succeed or fail?

People simply learn to cope with their weaknesses; some cope better than others.

< Message edited by NorthernGent -- 2/13/2009 4:31:07 PM >

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RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/17/2009 4:01:16 PM

Carnae7

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Joined: 11/29/2008
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I've enjoyed reading E/everyone's comments here. I was really hoping there'd be more comments from strong Doms, in support of this idea. At least, more Doms from my neck of the woods! Hahaha.

But I seem to be in a place where strong Doms are not wanting or needing strong subs. However, I refuse to accept anything less as I do not think this is respectful of myself or of the Doms I encounter.

But thank you Michael for posting this topic. It gives me hope that there are other Doms out there who might appreciate what I bring to the table.

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RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/18/2009 2:45:14 AM

mozartsfuneral

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Joined: 11/2/2008
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:-)

Yes. i am a strong feral like creature...and i am adored for it.

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Post #: 127

RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/20/2009 2:41:53 PM

SirJ40

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Joined: 12/21/2008
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My girl is considered by many she works with to be a class A bitch because she's decisive, demanding, opinionated, outspoken, and has high expectations of everyone. She has a high position and the respect of her bosses because she gets results.
*These very characteristics bring out the very best of who I can be.. she is an inspiration to Me and makes Me a better person. I see her at work, and I'm proud of her, thrilled that this woman is the one I will spend My life with.
She is self assured, strong, smart, decisive, *and someone I have admired for more than a dozen years.
She has never "needed" anyone at all, and her ex's (male and female) will tell you she is self-centered and insistent on maintaining her standards, and "stuck on having things her way".
*Yet she is, to Me, adoring, caring, loving, faithful, reliable, trustworthy, dependable, and certain of herself.
And when we got a chance to experience life as a romantic couple, and began to explore the D/s dynamic.. she offered her submission to Me.. for the first time in her (lets just say 40+) life. She's always wanted to find someone that she felt she could give that to.. but never found someone who wouldn't abuse that offering.
I consider that an incredibly valuable and complimentary gift she gave Me.
Those that have tried to Dominate her have said that she's not a submissive at all. To Me, now that I've Collared her, she is obedient, respectful, and relishes in her submission. Did she change herself overnight, or were they just not able to inspire her to be as she is now? HMMMM.
If she'd been a doormat, a wimp, a pushover.. then I wouldn't have won much., would I? I didn't have to "prove Myself".. the proof was in her feeling that I was the person she'd been seeking all along.
It is not that I am a "better Dom" than everyone else.. it's that I'm the best one for her, and she is the best one for Me. And that has made all the difference.
I don't see what the thrill is in having a doormat sub. Where's the challenge to be the best I can be? It's only worth having if it's worth working for.

(in reply to mozartsfuneral)

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RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/20/2009 3:18:05 PM

MidMichCowboy

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Joined: 3/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJ40

She's always wanted to find someone that she felt she could give that to.. but never found someone who wouldn't abuse that offering.
I consider that an incredibly valuable and complimentary gift she gave Me.
Those that have tried to Dominate her have said that she's not a submissive at all. To Me, now that I've Collared her, she is obedient, respectful, and relishes in her submission.
If she'd been a doormat, a wimp, a pushover.. then I wouldn't have won much., would I?
It is not that I am a "better Dom" than everyone else.. it's that I'm the best one for her, and she is the best one for Me. And that has made all the difference.
I don't see what the thrill is in having a doormat sub. Where's the challenge to be the best I can be? It's only worth having if it's worth working for.

This is worth searching for.

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Post #: 129

RE: Strong Subs and the Men Who Love Them - 2/20/2009 3:50:03 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJ40

She's always wanted to find someone that she felt she could give that to.. but never found someone who wouldn't abuse that offering.
I consider that an incredibly valuable and complimentary gift she gave Me.
Those that have tried to Dominate her have said that she's not a submissive at all. To Me, now that I've Collared her, she is obedient, respectful, and relishes in her submission.
If she'd been a doormat, a wimp, a pushover.. then I wouldn't have won much., would I?
It is not that I am a "better Dom" than everyone else.. it's that I'm the best one for her, and she is the best one for Me. And that has made all the difference.
I don't see what the thrill is in having a doormat sub. Where's the challenge to be the best I can be? It's only worth having if it's worth working for.

This is worth searching for.