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ORIGINAL: thishereboi

If you approached me with this request, I would probibly suggest you go to a theripist. They are trained to help people through something like this.

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ORIGINAL: Eleutherios

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ORIGINAL: thishereboi

If you approached me with this request, I would probibly suggest you go to a theripist. They are trained to help people through something like this.

A reasonable suggestion, one I've considered. But a therapist can not strip me bare of my control over my self. 

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ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Eleutherios,
I'm a switch, not a Domme but I'd like to give this a shot.
If this was asked of me...which it has once before...I would ask why?  I know you've given reasons for wanting to learn to not be so controlling in your day to day life, issues you think could be better handled and that you feel it could be "a life changing event" but I still ask why.  Why do you feel bottoming would be the answer to these problems?  You said you have no desire to submit and you're a dominant male so it would really only be bottoming.  Why would that help you with these issues more than talking with a therapist?  A  therapist will give you tools to work with in understanding and correcting negative (?) behaviors.  You would still need to do the work of changing these behaviors.
If you're as dominant of a man as you claim to be, no one...not even a dominant woman...could strip you bare of your control.  Of course, this is just my opinion and I'm sure there will be others that can offer more.  However, I would suggest you think more about the "why" and not focus so much on the end result. 

BTW....nice fire spinning pics. 

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ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT

Do you have a female top with whom you can discuss this?  Perhaps you can come to some kind of agreement as to her topping you (I know, you HATE that word, yadda yadda).  Maybe start slowly at first...with some touching, talking. 

Here's another thought (no pun): Meditation exercises.  Deep breathing, imagery, Reiki, anything that is of a relaxation technique.  Something that will help you visualize relinquishing control without having you physically do this.  Not hypnosis, but something that will allow you to go deeper.

What you might find with energy work is that you ARE able to give up some power without giving up ALL the power.  You can find a practitioner or do it yourself. 

Other than that I'm not sure what you are asking because people are making suggestions and you are shooting them down.  If you didn't want to hear what we had to say, why did you post?  Just an observation here.

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I know exactly what it feels like. And I hate it. I hate submitting in every aspect of my life. I do it, of course, as we all do from day to day. But I would be a much happier and well adjusted person if I could learn to be content when not in control.

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A reasonable suggestion, one I've considered. But a therapist can not strip me bare of my control over my self. 

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wanted to also add... I'm trained in therapy and psych... It's too easy for me to manipulate and deceive the therapist, even non-intentionally. I need someone domineering with strong will power that won't take no for an answer.

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And don't worry... I'm well adjusted enough. My personal issues don't run so deep that I really need therapy. This is more about better my self as a person with new experiences and gaining wisdom.

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Personally, if I was approached with such a request, I'd love the challenge

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And I'd relish the opportunity to be a part of someone's personal growth. But I'm not most people.

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And I'd really like to know the best way to go about approaching someone about this... From the dominant's perspective, I don't imagine she would really be required to do anything very out of the ordinary compared to how she usually dominates.

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your inn

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ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Eleutherios,
Thanks for the response. 
To be honest, I'm not sure if there are many women that would want to be part of an academic experiment.  The idea of a mentor is a good one. I have a male Dom who is my friend and mentor...no sex or play whatsoever, just someone to help me learn and understand and to bounce ideas off.  I can relate to the desire to explore your inner self but I still am uncertain as to how topping/bottoming...in a forced (?) way would help.  I'm still confused as to why you feel you need to be broken.  Exploration is great, getting a better handle on who you are as a person is fantastic but I still am left with "why".

Regardless....good luck and remember to keep an open mind with the responses you'll get here. 

*edited to add...My own views on dominance and submission are fairly open and free-flowing. I don't agree that a person can or should be "forced" to become one or the other, though.  Just my opinion.

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ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

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I know exactly what it feels like. And I hate it. I hate submitting in every aspect of my life. I do it, of course, as we all do from day to day. But I would be a much happier and well adjusted person if I could learn to be content when not in control.

It is the wise person who realizes they cannot master all things, there will always be someone better, faster, smarter. To learn the art of negotiation, give and take, thrust and parry is to understand how to maneuver through life-it does not denote any form of submission in the context of BDSM--in real life we are all submissives to something, someone--parents, employers, the government, etc etc etc--to feel that you are  less than because you cannot control it all IMHO is fool hardy and far from realistic.  To think you must control all is arrogance not the mark of a  Dominant, it is the mark of "domineering"--rule number one, learn the difference.
 

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A reasonable suggestion, one I've considered. But a therapist can not strip me bare of my control over my self. 

Of course not, because for you it is a mental challenge, you must win at all costs to make up for the times in your life you are not in control--you will respond the same way with a Domina--an embittered battle of wills is never pretty. No they cannot strip you bare, but they can help you define a more productive way to use and accept it.

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wanted to also add... I'm trained in therapy and psych... It's too easy for me to manipulate and deceive the therapist, even non-intentionally. I need someone domineering with strong will power that won't take no for an answer.

Always a response when someone is challenged, "i've been trained in xx so I know better"   mhm.  A good Dominant is NOT domineering--Dominance and submission is not a battle of wills where one is forced to acquiesce.  Dominance is only as good as the submission it inspires and vice versa. Its not a matter of Me not taking no for an answer its a matter that No is not an option. As a Dominant, I am far from omnipotent, My sub knows this, I would not have a sub who did think I was all knowing-what he does know and can DEPEND on is that I will always seek the information needed to make informed decisions, to guide him/Us and the family in an intelligent and realistic manner-even at times acquiescing. Just because chezz makes better meatballs or knows his way around New York, doesn't mean I am submissive to him in any manner, it means I am a smart cookie. Dominance is not breaking of the will, it is the melding into an environment of growth--but melding with permission.

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And don't worry... I'm well adjusted enough. My personal issues don't run so deep that I really need therapy. This is more about better my self as a person with new experiences and gaining wisdom.

To gain wisdom, one must acknowledge that they know nothing, until you are there, it will always be your way or no way and that will never work.

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Personally, if I was approached with such a request, I'd love the challenge

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I don't see Dominance as a challenge nor would I, I am not here for a tug of war, I am here to lead, to blend, to help grow and to nurture-not for a conquest-conquests are boring, they are no win situations, I have to deal with those in everyday life, I don't expect them in My private  life. You may think you have thrown down the gauntlet, but I guarantee, many a wise Domina will say, "pfftt, nice gauntlet, have a nice day". A good D/s relationship is about each walking away with  some satisfaction, each putting skin in the game, each acquiescing in certain areas. I am afraid you have mistaken Female Dominance with those erotic ads with the man subdued with the boot heel.

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And I'd relish the opportunity to be a part of someone's personal growth. But I'm not most people.

  We do and we are everyday, but I can assure you not to the battle of forcing someone to submit--that's where most fail--its not a battle of wills, its not the domineering bitch from hell--its a dance on the saber, carefully negotiated, carefully choreographed and carefully executed.

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And I'd really like to know the best way to go about approaching someone about this... From the dominant's perspective, I don't imagine she would really be required to do anything very out of the ordinary compared to how she usually dominates.

It is very out of the ordinary--our subs come to us comfortable with their desire for submission, prepared for the acquiescence. The ones who come armed with passive aggressive dominance, pretty much don't make the buddy list, at least not Mine.