RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (Full Version)

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openmindedslave -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 9:56:49 AM)

Lets move on now about this .The cheese is gone and we can't use the pieces from trivial pursuit to fill our bellys

Every state,... Every time you pull up the Mistresses in your area you will pull up the picture of at least one fake or professiuonal.. So what!!!
I get offers  on a regualr bases that say "I read your profile and we seem to have so much in common" MY PROFILE IS BLANK.!!!
You move on. I am sad to say this but I get so many males contacting me asking if I know a Mistress that I will introduce them to .I have made a lot of great friends out here and really  most of the males who contact me , really are not prepared  to be involved with some of my friends. 

One I know wants a Mistress to pay for the cross dressing fantasys he has. Another ,wants a woman of a certain age and shape.. Another wants to meet someone just to have sex with .. Are of some of us guys just users? Not all ..There are some great  people out here.But while people (some ) are complaining about money or gifts here,,, why not look at yourself for what some ( who are probably not going to be involved in the forum anyway) are just users looking for to use people for their gains. Take  the efforts , their investments ,and certainly their time to  give a sub their fantasy only to find they never come back again or only come back when its convient to thier schedule only. Think for a second about the time people put into meeting and being involved with a person. How many emails? How many hours on line are involved just to make a first meeting to discover whether you click with another. No one talks about the emotions involved on someone who "thinks" this one will work out? So what is wrong if someone has to "fine tune" their interest a little more to screen out  the ones who just don't meet their reasonable needs?  If they tke the time to let you know about them, then apprecate that their helping everybody out here not to waste valuable time finding out on their own..  



GotSteel -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 9:59:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
it IS a dating site.

Actually, no, it's not. 


Here's the text from the google link for collarme: BDSM Personals - Collarme.com Notice the part where it says personals.

"With its rise in popularity, the World Wide Web has also become a common medium for personals, commonly referred to as online dating." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_advertisement

I agree that personals sites can be used for things other than dating so does wiki. I'm aware that a lot of members on this site aren't using to get dates (I'm not using it to get dates). I'm just saying that using a personals site for online dating isn't unreasonable.



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 10:09:25 AM)

I don't personally have a problem with the do-me crowd.  They aren't for my liking, but I know how to hide them...lol.    While I get tired of hearing them whine here, I don't start threads whining about their presence.  I would love it if CM put different categories out such as, bottom, top, kinky-sex seeker, etc. Regardless of descriptives provided, there are still plenty of people who look at someone's picture and think, ooooooh, I wanna do that person (or be done by them) that do not bother to read.  They get all happy happy and think they automatically deserve to be with that person because that person is HOT in their opinion.  So adding new descriptives wouldn't be very helpful in such situations.



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 10:12:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

GotSteel,

I don't think any of us are ridiculing him for seeking a relationship online, at least I'm not.  My comments are more focused on the fact that he is complaining about a valid kink and knocking women whose choices do not match his. 

In my opinion, men who claim to be submissive should A: be open minded to the fact that there are numerous kinks out there that may not be interesting to him, B: be respectful of others desires, C: not be a whiny do-me bottom.  If one claims up front in their profile they are a whiny do-me bottom and D types start posting messages crying about all the submissives who advertise they are do-me bottoms instead of looking at other profiles, do you think we'd get a break?  [:D]


LOL well actually a number of dommes on this thread have been complaining about the whiny do-me bottoms and nobody has jumped on them. I got the impression that the OP was complaining about the scammers which I have been hounded by on other sites, to the point that I closed my my-space account. Yeah he's whining, but being pestered by guys posing as women to rip you off gets annoying when you constantly have to sort through it to find the legitimate emails.

There was a poster that came off a little strongly (at least to me) telling th OP that he shouldn't use this as a personals site and should go to munches. Collarme is really setup as a personals site, yeah I'm not using it that way either, but I took exception to someone being told not to.


I don't know if you read his profile or not, but perhaps you would have a different opinion regarding your first paragraph if you had.   Regarding your second paragraph, fair enough.



dennidson -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 10:28:00 AM)

I can see I have provoked a bit of a response since my last post. I suppose if I give opinion I should be prepared for a little comeback.
LadyPact pointed out that a better way for me to meet people would be to attend events rather than online and she is definitely right. I have looked around but the main reason I haven't as yet is that I am very shy and even coming on here was a big step for me which I hoped would give me the confidence to do this for real.
It might seem a bit odd for me to say that after Andalusite pointing out my photo. I was ok with being topless as my face isn't very clear but I do see what you mean about it and I might change it. I did actually list myself as straight but for some reason it didn't show up.
Kttqnp was right that these "bait and switch" people could be described as Bondage Barbies but they approached me and I responded. I see her point though and it actually gave me a thought. I don't mean to offend anyone by saying this but perhaps dismissing people on the grounds of money could mean missing out on something special (I'm not necessarily referring to me).
Andalusite also made a good point about the way I worded my profile which I will ammend later. I'm not tight and I do actually like to spoil a woman when I can. I think I might have given the wrong impression about that.



Andalusite -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 10:35:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dennidson
It might seem a bit odd for me to say that after Andalusite pointing out my photo. I was ok with being topless as my face isn't very clear but I do see what you mean about it and I might change it.

It took me a while to be comfortable with attending BDSM events in person, so I understand where you're coming from on that. There are actually quite a few people who will do casual play at local events, without charging for it or expecting a relationship, but you need to get to know them in person first, usually. They won't usually let you have sex with them, though.

Definitely get a different picture - your being topless isn't a problem, but not showing the waistband of your pants gives a strong impression that you aren't wearing any. Combined with the angle and where your hands are, it has a strong skeevy 70's porno "I'm naked and masturbating while taking this picture" vibe. [:'(] That kind of thing does tend to attract men who are seeking anonymous hookups, but tends to send women away in droves.

Domin8ingUrDrmz, I looked at his profile, and didn't see any explicit "do me bottom" or casual sex stuff on there. It wasn't detailed enough, and has an icky photo, so if he were local, I wouldn't be interested. I would have expected it to be a lot worse from your reaction (or perhaps he edited it since you read it initially).



dennidson -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 10:41:49 AM)

I can't believe I didn't see that before.

I'm not just looking for anonymous hookups. As I pointed out I'm quite shy. Even when I try talking to a woman looking for a normal (vanilla) relationship I have to get really drunk. If I have anonymous hookups on a regular basis I'll die from liver damage.



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 10:48:30 AM)

Andalusite,
I'm on drugs due to a pinched nerve in my neck. My receptors could be off...who knows.

dennidson,

I think if you follow some of the advice given to you, you will have more success in your search.  Listening to you here, you sound like a genuine person and I wish you well.



dennidson -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 10:50:24 AM)

Thankyou I hope your neck gets better.



RedMagic1 -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 11:43:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


And here's the actual text of the service provided by www.collarme.com.

The Website provides a forum through which adults may seek and establish personal contact with one another through the use of the Website's capabilities for displaying photographs and written materials provided by its members.

I've met well over 40 people in real life who have CollarMe profiles.  I met all of them because they were on this site.  I've only dated a handful of them.  The site's tagline is "the largest BDSM community in the world."  Community, not dating site.  "Personal contact" only means "dating" in horny-guy-ese.  Or perhaps every time a woman writes "TAKEN" at the top of her profile, I should report her for abuse of the terms of service?



DrkJourney -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 11:48:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney
I don't see any list in my profile,

You must not be True.  True dominants have lists.  I, for example, keep a list of all the lists I keep.


damn, is that the reason why I can't find a "twue" slave on this site?????   live and learn...lol



LadyPact -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 11:58:16 AM)

Let's be quite clear here.

I never said people shouldn't use this as a dating site.  What I did say was something to the tune of I wish people would stop using it as an attempt to get laid.  They actually have sites for that.  A F F  comes to mind.

To further expand on what I said, and what I've said in I can't remember how many similar threads in the past couple of years, is that the very thing the OP is complaining about ceases to exist when the computer gets shut off and you go out into the real world.  In fact, I can promise you in all of the time it's been since My very first munch, I have never attended one where anyone has asked for My credit card number (except for the waitress having Me pay for My own meal).  There's never been any member that's attempted to get Me to pay for the privilege of talking to them over dinner.  Nobody's ever asked Me how much money I make, nor has anyone propositioned Me to 'rent' their services.

To be very straightforward, many of the common complaints that are heard in threads like this aren't heard of at munches unless we are discussing sites such as these.  Nobody's trying to pass themselves off as how old they were ten years ago or try to convince anyone that they look the same as they did fifty pounds ago.  I haven't run into any males trying to convince Me that they're female and not a single person has ever told Me that I was fake.  Nobody's ever attempted to scam Me or swindle Me in any way.

So, if a person wants to avoid all of that, the better option is to get out into meatlife where those issues don't exist.  If you want to avoid the problems of online dating, the solution is to try meeting people the good old fashioned way.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 12:15:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
At what point did you ever get the message 'you don't need a grasp on reality to be kinky'?

Why not get over yourselves and over your own fantasies, get a f*cking grip and start living in the real world for a change? If you were genuinely submissive it wouldn't matter what you get up to, and if you really wanted to be with a domme, and I mean REALLY wanted to be with a domme, you would make the effort and cough up a few readies in the process.

But no, it would appear that the word 'submissive' actually means licence to engage in kinky sex where the only thing you're being submissive to in reality is your bell end or pork sword.

FFS even out in vanilla to get laid you need clean underwear, good aftershave, enough in your wallet to have a good time out and a decent personality, so what makes you think we eschew all of these things in this WIITWD and BDSM community?

To be honest it's not a domme you need, but a 'dumme', and to be honest hardly any women are so thick as to fall for that.

But the thing is you're so far gone from reality you actually believe you have the right to bring what other people write in that personal space provided for them and have a go at them for daring to seek 'generous males'.. So what if they are? What's that got to do with you?

Yeah right, submissive male. Pull the other one. It's got bells on it.
[sm=yourock.gif] I was going to say phuckin' Amen!...   But that doesn't sound Goddess or lady like, so I won't.[:)]

quote:

openmindedslave
When she has met for a first meeting  at a coffee shop,  she had a few that would have already  ordered their drink before getting there and  when she  would arrive would sit there talking to her  with out even the consderation to offer to buy her a coffee until she mentions she would like one.

She had people contact her who would like to spend the evening with her and she would mention dinner  first and one insisted she could make it there.  Another suggested ordering a pizza . These are men in their 40's to 60's here, not some poor college kid.

Another , who she had not met yet but spoke to on the phone for several weeks earlier  had made plans due see her because his company was moving him into the area. Seemed good  start here. He sadly was fired due to the economy at the alast moment. His response was he could come and live on her sofa as her slave.  Remember they never met yet .

Guys will come to her with all these kinks and show her stuff she can buy on the internet to make these fetishes and fantasys a reality for them, yet they are not willing to invest in these items other than to  say" you should get this. "

Does any of this sound familar?
No, it sounds like you've been reading y inbox, that's how familiar it sounds.
I have whackos I've never met on the other side professing love, and eternal slavery to me, but none of that involves "may I take you out for a coffee, or dinner this week?"    M 




MistressDoMe -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 12:33:05 PM)

Well, whenever I sign on using THIS screen name, it is amazing the amount of
responses I receive.

There is a demand for women that are looking for "do me's.



Lynnxz -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 12:33:52 PM)

For how much? [:D]



MistressDoMe -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 12:37:17 PM)

Not sure Lynnxz I am not a Professional, this profile is just for fun.
[:D]



openmindedslave -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 12:39:38 PM)

We should have a have forum about kewl profile names lol



MistressDoMe -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 12:40:51 PM)

That would be real interesting.
[:D]



AAkasha -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 12:47:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dennidson

I can't believe I didn't see that before.

I'm not just looking for anonymous hookups. As I pointed out I'm quite shy. Even when I try talking to a woman looking for a normal (vanilla) relationship I have to get really drunk. If I have anonymous hookups on a regular basis I'll die from liver damage.


Does anyone else see this as probably a major factor in the OP's ability to possibly connect with a femdom?

A femdom is a woman, first and foremost.  If you aren't going to "pay" (ie, see a pro) her for a time, you can expect to have to at least pony up in courting, from a class and tact POV as well as the ability to be charming. If you cannot be at least "generous" enough to pay for dinner or coffee, you have to be generous in spirit, heart and charm. If you have none of the above to offer, you should work on that.  Femdoms expect and deserve at least the same level of courtship, class and charm as their vanilla counterparts.  If you have to get drunk (how charming - NOT) to even have a conversation with a lady, I don't see the femdoms lining up to pursue you.

Akasha



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/5/2009 12:55:46 PM)

Dennison is not the original poster, unless I've missed the name change along the way.   As to being shy as a problem, I don't think of it as a major problem, because I am very open about suggesting to a boy how to go about wooing me.   Besides, I think shy guys (not to be confused with evasive guys), are cute.    M



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