RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (Full Version)

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Vendaval -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/7/2009 1:20:07 PM)

I can also attest to this behavior among the wealthier men.  There is something just plain rude bragging about a successful business, palatial estate and $100,000 car, etc and then being too miserly to buy lunch for $12.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
One of the things that amazes me about kink dating is how incredibly cheap some of the men are. Like, not offering to buy a coffee cheap. These are the men that don't get a second meeting. I don't use "generous" as a criterion in my profile, but it sure is in my mind! Monetary cheapness really does link up to miserliness in other areas.




It could be a confidence issue, yes.  I NEVER ask anyone to pay for me on a first meeting--which to my mind is nothing like a "date"--but not asking if I would like a refill on my coffee, or even worse, not buying one for himself, show a level of miserliness that I don't accept. I have seen it from executives MUCH more than from blue collar types.




masterdstar -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/7/2009 2:05:31 PM)

It's just a traditional mode of male humiliation by Dom Females. Been like that for ever... heard of marraige or girl friend?

LMAO

Enjoy your wonder-filled day




Observer20 -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/7/2009 3:29:40 PM)

I really can't stand how some dominant women want to be "in charge" yet they still expect the man to pay for everything. LOL, its funny how people wants things both ways.

BTW this post isn't directed to anybody in particular, I dont know why it says its to LadyHibiscus




LadyLupineNYC -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/7/2009 3:52:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet


Ok FINE.......here you go.

Easy coconut macaroons;
  • 3 cups shredded coconut
  • 1 cup sweetened condensed milk
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
Generously grease baking sheets. Combine all ingredients; stir until well blended.
Drop by teaspoonfuls, 1 inch apart, on prepared baking sheets. Press down with
the back of spoon to even thickness. Bake at 350° for 15 minutes, or until
macaroons are golden brown. Cool 5 minutes; remove from baking sheet.

For some added kink, add melted semi-sweet chocolate whilst blending, or,
dip half the cooled macaroon into melted milk chocolate. Ooooo edge play!

When entertaining in the dungeon on those special evenings, have your submissive
serve your guests in full collar and chaps as you seductively flog them along the
way, announcing, "Smacaroons everybody, Smacaroons".

chia* (the pet)



Damnit!  Now no one will want to come over for MY macaroons since you gave out the while recipe!! [>:] *sulks* 




LadyLupineNYC -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/7/2009 4:00:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Observer20

I really can't stand how some dominant women want to be "in charge" yet they still expect the man to pay for everything. LOL, its funny how people wants things both ways.

BTW this post isn't directed to anybody in particular, I dont know why it says its to LadyHibiscus



As I commented before- money is often also about control.  That is one of the reasons in a nonconsensually abusive relationship, one of the main forms of control (up there with who the victim can socialize with) is controlling all income.  Within a kink context, I see nothing in the way of a double standard by saying domme women want to be in control AND control money.  Mind you...there are also those who are 'Prince$$e$' and those who don't want to have anything to do with the s-type's money so the claim goes either way.   




chiaThePet -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/7/2009 8:37:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

Damnit!  Now no one will want to come over for MY macaroons since you gave out the whole recipe!! [>:] *sulks* 



Oh Dear Lady, trust me when I share that YOUR macaroons are looking spectacular.

And I am most convinced that men-a-plenty shall line up to garner a taste of such.

chia* (the pet)




MissEnchanted -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/7/2009 9:57:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexandraLynch
I'm not looking for a generous man.
Generosity is not a bad word, and it shouldn't become a word that needs to be defended, in my opinion.
I don't know about most people, but one of the qualities I apreciate in fellow human beings, is generosity, meaning nothing more than
quote:

1 a: the quality or fact of being generous b: a generous act
.    
Additionally, dominants have a right to desire or demand whatever they desire, as long as they aren't forcing anyone against his/her will to submit.    M

Exactly FullFigRIMAAM!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chia: Thanks for that recipe. It is the same one that I have used, however the line at the end is priceless. "Smackeroons for everyone"

[:D]




asianchloe -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/8/2009 7:50:15 PM)

Is there such a thing? I've never heard of it and did a google search and found nothing. I actually posted recently asking about high-fashion BDSM gear and clothing and not a lot of hits to the thread but no replies. If you have any ideas, please repond here or send me a private message.

Thanks!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC
Go for the Hermes crop!).







asianchloe -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/8/2009 8:58:29 PM)

I agree CM is a site for dating while some do use it to find friends or clients.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
it IS a dating site.

Actually, no, it's not.


Here's the text from the google link for collarme: BDSM Personals - Collarme.com Notice the part where it says personals.






asianchloe -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/8/2009 9:28:22 PM)

Dennison IS the OP - at least he was when I signed on a few days ago and saw the thread. And while some shyness and awkwardness may be cute, I don't think Dennison is just shy. He's forward enough to list the sexual activities he enjoys/hopes to find from a partner [edited since then]. That's not shy; that's forward and crass. What he calls "shyness" was his response to why he hasn't gone to any live events. Rather than being due to a quiet or reserved demeanor (MY definition of shyness), I suspect it has to do with fear of rejection, lack of motivation or shame/embarrassment about his proclivities.

If Dennison is sincere about meeting people, he needs to take some risks (such as going to R/T events) and invest time and effort (starting with filling out a more detailed and interesting profile than "I'm interested in martial arts and I'm looking for dominant women").


quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

Dennison is not the original poster, unless I've missed the name change along the way. As to being shy as a problem, I don't think of it as a major problem, because I am very open about suggesting to a boy how to go about wooing me. Besides, I think shy guys (not to be confused with evasive guys), are cute. M





OneMoreWaste -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/8/2009 9:30:25 PM)

I think they should all be shipped off to a deserted island, with nothing on it except a single hundred dollar bill... with the ensuing fight to the death posted on Youtube.

Because the world can never have enough lolz.




asianchloe -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/8/2009 9:42:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
On the other hand, "fancy dinners and expensive gifts" seems like an unwise filter to me


I don't disagree.


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

My point is that you shouldn't confuse the online "confidence" that comes from horniness and seeing a username that starts with "asian" with the reality that not many people in the world -- male or female, straight or nilla -- are going to be more interested in you than in how you appear. In particular, people who spend a lot on trappings sometimes cannot see below them.




I don't think I said anything that suggested I confuse confidence with horniness.




asianchloe -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/8/2009 10:05:21 PM)

If a first meeting isn't a date, then I wouldn't expect him/her to treat. But I thought we were talking romantic/dating relationships, not just two people meeting as friends.

When I was younger, I've dated fellow grad students/writers/artists who made the same amount of money as I did and we would split the tab or take turns treating the other. (I did notice that the Asian-Americans or European guys always treated even if they were poor). But I personally haven't met but one or two executives who didn't pay for the first coffee/drink/meal. But if someone can afford it but is stingy, it's worse. I don't mind dating someone who is poor; I mind dating someone who is CHEAP.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It could be a confidence issue, yes. I NEVER ask anyone to pay for me on a first meeting--which to my mind is nothing like a "date"--but not asking if I would like a refill on my coffee, or even worse, not buying one for himself, show a level of miserliness that I don't accept. I have seen it from executives MUCH more than from blue collar types.





asianchloe -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/8/2009 10:08:03 PM)

Well, one can argue that expecting the man to pay for everything is being in charge (of his finances and his money, at least!)

It's not wanting it both ways if you're not giving up being "in charge" when someone else pays.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Observer20

I really can't stand how some dominant women want to be "in charge" yet they still expect the man to pay for everything. LOL, its funny how people wants things both ways.

BTW this post isn't directed to anybody in particular, I dont know why it says its to LadyHibiscus






dennidson -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/8/2009 10:56:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: asianchloe

Dennison IS the OP - at least he was when I signed on a few days ago and saw the thread. And while some shyness and awkwardness may be cute, I don't think Dennison is just shy. He's forward enough to list the sexual activities he enjoys/hopes to find from a partner [edited since then]. That's not shy; that's forward and crass. What he calls "shyness" was his response to why he hasn't gone to any live events. Rather than being due to a quiet or reserved demeanor (MY definition of shyness), I suspect it has to do with fear of rejection, lack of motivation or shame/embarrassment about his proclivities.

If Dennison is sincere about meeting people, he needs to take some risks (such as going to R/T events) and invest time and effort (starting with filling out a more detailed and interesting profile than "I'm interested in martial arts and I'm looking for dominant women").


quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

Dennison is not the original poster, unless I've missed the name change along the way. As to being shy as a problem, I don't think of it as a major problem, because I am very open about suggesting to a boy how to go about wooing me. Besides, I think shy guys (not to be confused with evasive guys), are cute. M




Check the beginning of the thread. I'm not the OP and I never listed any sexual activities.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/9/2009 5:14:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: asianchloe

If a first meeting isn't a date, then I wouldn't expect him/her to treat. But I thought we were talking romantic/dating relationships, not just two people meeting as friends.

When I was younger, I've dated fellow grad students/writers/artists who made the same amount of money as I did and we would split the tab or take turns treating the other. (I did notice that the Asian-Americans or European guys always treated even if they were poor). But I personally haven't met but one or two executives who didn't pay for the first coffee/drink/meal. But if someone can afford it but is stingy, it's worse. I don't mind dating someone who is poor; I mind dating someone who is CHEAP.


Exactly.  And I often do first meetings very casually---if chemistry isn't there, might as well make it easy for one or both parties to cut the meeting short! [:)]

I have no problems paying my own way, or picking up the tab---it's when it's expected, when the notion of paying for my salade nicoise becomes akin to financial domination in the mind of the male, that I know we are not a match.  Courtship is courtship.  Would you expect a vanilla date to pay her own way? 




chiaThePet -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/9/2009 5:43:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Would you expect a vanilla date to pay her own way? 


No.

But then I'm old school.

Oh hell, I'm just old.

Dips macaroon into coffee.

chia* (the pet)




Andalusite -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/9/2009 6:34:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: asianchloe
Is there such a thing?
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC
Go for the Hermes crop!).


Here's one I found: http://www.alamy.com/stock_photography/5/1/Hugh+Threlfall/B348FE.html

I believe that one is from the fashion-company Hermes, but there is also an unrelated company called "Hermes Saddlery" which makes saddles and other equestrian goods. I haven't seen any riding crops from them, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if they make some.




ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/9/2009 9:57:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: asianchloe

It's not just that more beautiful dommes are more money-minded. It's that more beautiful dommes can be more selective and if you don't meet their standards, SOME may be willing to play-for-pay. I'd say the reation you've gotten is more about the relationship between your attractiveness (photo, intelligence, interests, etc on profile) and the attractiveness of the domme you are contacting. (I'm speaking in generalities since I haven't seen your profile or the profiles of the women you've been in contact with).


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Have to remember, Panda, that within certain age groups/body types, it can be more common. It doesn't happen so often when one doesn't especially only read the profiles of pin up Dommes.





I'm not sure I understand the connection you're making. It sounds like an original and interesting point, but I think I'm missing the bulk of it. Could you flesh it out a bit?




xxblushesxx -> RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "generous" men? (4/9/2009 10:22:36 AM)

I think, dear Panda (and why are you burning bright, btw?) anywho...that she is saying if a sub were to focus entirely on model-type dommes, they would run across a higher percentage of dommes looking for generous subs.
(that's what I got out of it, anyway)




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