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Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 1:04:18 AM

kitastrophe33

Posts: 85
Joined: 9/3/2007
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Okay not always. And not all of them. I have to say, though, that as I've been browsing the message boards there are a lot of really snippy responses to questions...especially some of the newbie questions that are admittedly sort of naive, but also sort of common questions. I'm pretty sure no one sits down to post a question thinking "what is the dumbest question I can possibly ask?"

There are infinite ways to be kinky. What is obvious to one may completely baffle another. There are no stupid questions.

A great many comments are great, but I still do wish there was a more supportive, embracing attitude over all...Build each other up, rather than tear each other down with snide, condescending comments.

I dunno...definitely not wanting to offend, just an observation...

Post #: 1

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 1:25:46 AM

allthatjaz

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I think there can be. I have to admit that I often wonder why people are so condescending and I think the simple answer is, because they can be!
The longer you have been here the more you will see the same old questions asked. We have a choice not to join topic but some can't resist jumping in and putting you down.

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Post #: 2

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 1:38:07 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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First, I'm going to welcome you to the forums. I hope you'll enjoy your stay.

I admit to getting snippy from time to time. It comes from answering the same question over, and over, and over. Here comes this person thinking that they have this truly original idea, but I've had the same discussion for ten years or more. While it's all brand new to them, to Me, it's tired, old hat.

New, as well as old, have to understand that people come from different perspectives here. That's the best answer that I have for you.

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Post #: 3

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 2:07:49 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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People would help themselves by realising that the written word does not come across as spoken. So what may seem snippy, has not vocal assistance, no hand gestures, no face. It is easy to mistake someones writing for being what it is not.

That being said, there are people who do answer like this intentionally. Sometimes, it is just personality and after hanging around a while you work out that they think they are being funny and not being mean. I get your are not trying to offend and there are numerous posts on this subject, so it's not a new phenom.

the.dark.

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RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 2:14:31 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I admit to getting snippy from time to time. It comes from answering the same question over, and over, and over. Here comes this person thinking that they have this truly original idea, but I've had the same discussion for ten years or more. While it's all brand new to them, to Me, it's tired, old hat.

Regards to you LadyPact.
My question to your response would be, why bother answering then? If a question is old hat, or boring and one can only respond with boredom or snippiness, why even worry about answering? If someone asks a fairly ridiculous question from a say 50 year old woman such as 'Master wants me to sign all I own over to him and change my will' or 'she doesn't want to use a condom but wont have a std test' then ok, I can see where the sarcasm or snippiness would happen. But because of boredom?

the.dark.

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RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 2:36:32 AM

allthatjaz

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I think another thing to take into consideration is that this is an international site with the largest majority being American, Canadian, Australian, NZ and British (perhaps I'm wrong and no doubt someone will correct me if I am).
Our sense of humor differs considerably. I know I have said things that an English man would find funny but an American is hugely insulted and I have been up in arms at something an American has said, only to read on and understand the Americans are not offended at all.

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Post #: 6

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 2:55:38 AM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

tits or gtfo.

just kidding :)

I barely read the boards on this site, and have basically stopped reading the only other message board I regularly read (having to do with my alma mater's sports teams) so I'm certainly no expert on the subject, but that's never stopped me from commenting before, so here goes....

The internet sucks.

Boards like this provide a measure of entertainment and useful information, but you've got to be able to seperate it from the BS that will floods the place.

The first statement in my post is apparently a fairly common phrase on boards like these. It was posted on my sports board to a woman who posted something and I laughed and sent it to a friend of mine more in tune with the internet culture/lingo, apparently it's been around forever. who knew?

Anonymonity apparently gives people free license to be asses.

You'll find a great number of helpful and nice people here, hopefully they far outweigh the crap. Just don't take anything anyone says too seriously and don't responde to the master baiters.

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Post #: 7

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 3:16:51 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
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I think it's the same thing lotsa people seem to suffer from the 'safety' of their own car when you see them foul mouthing and making rude signs because they think you made a 'stupid' mistake...but if you were to step out of your car to deal with them and they'd realise they are actually swearing at a person twice their size and strenght they crumble, lock their doors and quickly drive a way...
imagine if you could stick your hand out of their monitor and slap them on the fingers as they type...

Then again i have a bad day sometimes and might take it out on an innocent bystander...

Also, some people are here to slam other people, that is actually their type of kink, haha

(in reply to kitastrophe33)

Post #: 8

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 3:23:50 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I've never gotten snippy because a question has been asked before. But I do object to people who have no common sense. I'm sorry but a 50 year old woman who has been seeing a 'master' for six months, who can't tell that he's a thief when he demands she liquidates her kids' college funds and give him the money deserves no coddling, only very blunt responses.

The fact is that a great many people believe anything that isn't "pat, pat, oh you poor maligned creature" is therefore an abusive response doesn't make it so. I have no obligation to coddle someone who ought to know better. You get a better wake up call from a bucket of cold water than from having your face dabbed with warm water. And a lot of people need wake up calls.

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Post #: 9

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 4:44:39 AM

VioletGray

Posts: 359
Joined: 10/29/2007
From: Baltimore, MD
Status: offline

So far, I've seen possible explanations like the lack of tone in a post as opposed to spoken word, different senses of humor, repeatedly answering the same question over and over..

There is definitely something to these ideas, but more often than not it's just a few people (and they are often the same people) that like being rude, and love to argue.

I think their condescending attitude makes them feel higher up in the kink pecking order. They just LOVE to know things that newbies don't.

That having been said, I think you'll find the boards are like Jack Nicholson's character in "As Good As It Gets." Once you get past the initial grumpiness, it's not that bad! ;-)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 5:20:59 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
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Personally, I respond here as I do in real life--if someone is obviously a troll, they'll hear it, if they don't have the sense to get their heads out of their ass, they'll hear it, if they come here asking advice on a matter they know the answer to, they'll hear it.

75% of the time, I'll really try to read and understand what they are trying to convey and offer advice, but I'm not here to let everythink they are the Emperor and help them admire their clothes.

10% of the time I have no patience

10% of the time, I'm in a smart ass mood

5% of the time, I read too fast and look like a dumbass, my peers are kind and just pass those posts by.

Its life.

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(in reply to kitastrophe33)

Post #: 11

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 5:49:40 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

There are a few that tend to be mean, but a good bit of the ones I've seen accused of being mean when this topic comes up are actually just straightforward and blunt, and because they are and don't tell OPs what they want to hear, out comes the mean designation. Been accused of it myself when I wasn't being so.

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Post #: 12

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 5:57:44 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

5% of the time, I read too fast and look like a dumbass, my peers are kind and just pass those posts by.

we laugh at you when you are not looking

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Post #: 13

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 5:59:39 AM

CatdeMedici

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

5% of the time, I read too fast and look like a dumbass, my peers are kind and just pass those posts by.

we laugh at you when you are not looking

AHA, I thought I heard snickers and snorts!

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

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Post #: 14

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 6:12:16 AM

Highlandsub

Posts: 25
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline

There are o stupid questions.....but there are the same ones asked over and over again. I think that draws a lot of the comments you are talking about. I havent posted much here, but I have read a lot of the threads here. I think most of the time when people have a specific question and a real need most people here offer great suggestions and ideas. Its the trolls, or the people looking for "material" that seem to catch the most flack, and honestly some of the responses are hilarious.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 15

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 6:17:41 AM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

Wait! We can do that now!? O.O

Awesome! I love veal!

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Post #: 16

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 6:26:42 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

fr

Generally, it is the tone and style of the OP which sets the tone and style of the thread. A sincere question or curiosity usually comes through and will garner like responses .. not always, but usually. As in any large group filled with diverse cultures, environments and world views, there are going to be those with whom you will never click. The block button is a great way to alleviate the stress from reading the posts of those whom you find offensive if you can't just ignore them. There really are a lot of very nice people on here as the mods do a pretty good job of getting rid of the truly trollish.

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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Post #: 17

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 6:28:47 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

People would help themselves by realising that the written word does not come across as spoken. So what may seem snippy, has not vocal assistance, no hand gestures, no face. It is easy to mistake someones writing for being what it is not.

this is so true..

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Post #: 18

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 6:33:06 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

I am a snippy person
/shrug
Personally, if someone does not like it...they don't have to read it...or they can just go away...makes no difference to me. I will just continue to be snippy, either way

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Post #: 19

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 6:39:45 AM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitastrophe33
I'm pretty sure no one sits down to post a question thinking "what is the dumbest question I can possibly ask?"

So is it just a bonus when they succeed?

(in reply to kitastrophe33)

Post #: 20

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