RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

CatdeMedici -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 2:38:41 PM)

Well, let Me cut to the chase:
 
1. Pragmatic
2. More interested in reality/life/experiencing life
3. Prefers being single
4. Hates one line emails
5. Hates Tribute only and Female supremacy "kneel worm" Dominas
 
[8|] ( adores LAgirlsub's posts)



amoryblane -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 3:15:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub

Have you really been told this to your face....'you're not a true submissive?' - I think my first gut response would be 'obviously you're far from a true domme.' I'm truly starting to wonder if I just want some kink in the bedroom because I feel like a lot of this is just nonsense. I want to be open and I am for the most part, but I have a tough time if a domme comes off arrogant, controlling and domineering (which some in their profiles - heck even their pictures where they don't smile - sound that way). That just won't work for me ever. I have plenty to offer and if some woman, just because she's more dominant then I am, plays this game with me, I'll be gone quickly.


Ha ha yeah.  After a few awkward minutes of being entangled in a conversation regarding the "true nature of submission" I just muttered something nonsensical, said "So You'll excuse me, of course", and wandered off.  Which is the same way I handle people at other kinds of parties who corner me and try to talk to me about, say, their new boats.

The difference, I guess, is that I have some interest in boats whereas I've little interest in didactic, condescending dogmatism about how everyone's kinks must Conform.  I mean, once upon a time, I was a philosophy major, I've heard semantics argued much more effectively and interestingly, and my grade depended on following along.

That said, I guess experiences like that (which are thankfully uncommon in real life, more common online) really tend to make me appreciate intelligent and articulate Dommes all the more, Dommes with whom I may have little to nothing in common when it comes to how we experience Kink but with whom it's still possible to have an entertaining conversation.



frankieboy52 -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 3:29:01 PM)

Dominas have annoying traits???You're kidding right??...actually,i am kidding..of course they have annoying traits and much more over the top i feel than some submissives.With that said,there are some lovely Dominas on here..if i had to pick one thing though it is not answering e-mails.admittedly,not all of my contact mailings have been Shakespearean,but they haven't been bad enough to warrant a non-response either.Whether i am looking for just friendship or i am petitioning,i take pride in what i write.So that's my biggest beef.



LadyConstanze -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 4:28:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

The one thing I hate is Dominatrix Toxemia. Someone once told me this is a recognized condition.
Symptoms of this are
They think they can dominate everyone including other dominants
They believe themselves to be God like creatures even when with vanilla friends (actually they tend not to have many friends)
They don't cope well with a difference of opinion and can become very vindictively verbal with anyone that questions them.
They believe in there own hype (too many people have told them they are beautiful and they believe it)



I know that as the dreaded domititis, oh and it does include trying to dominate everything. It is pretty funny to watch but I prefer to watch it from a distance sometimes there is a lot of fallout....



Politesub53 -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 4:52:22 PM)

I have put some thought into this.

1) Dommes that dont send nude photos. Do they expect me to guess what they look like.

2) Dommes that expect me to follow orders. I`m a free spirit, except for Thursdays.

3) Dommes wanting conversation. Whats up with listening to radio talk shows ?

4) Dommes who expect me to clean up. Do I look like an Au Pair ?

5) Dommes who wont meet for sex when im passing through town. Sheesh Im only asking for three minutes.

Hmmm that should get me a few emails  [8D]



LadyConstanze -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 4:58:31 PM)

Somebody should force you to clean the OJ from my screen now, LOL!



Lockit -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 5:04:55 PM)

Politesub... [:@]  That was very bad! ROFL... But thank you!



Politesub53 -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 5:05:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Somebody should force you to clean the OJ from my screen now, LOL!


Nice to see You posting again LadyC.

Sorry about the OJ, see what happens when I start to think late at night ?



amoryblane -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 5:14:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frankieboy52

Dominas have annoying traits???You're kidding right??...actually,i am kidding..of course they have annoying traits and much more over the top i feel than some submissives.With that said,there are some lovely Dominas on here..if i had to pick one thing though it is not answering e-mails.admittedly,not all of my contact mailings have been Shakespearean,but they haven't been bad enough to warrant a non-response either.Whether i am looking for just friendship or i am petitioning,i take pride in what i write.So that's my biggest beef.


I don't want to argue with you here, and I may very well be in the minority, but I don't really see non-responses to messages and e-mails as inherently rude.  At least I hope it isn't inherently rude, because I don't always answer all of mine, and sometimes it takes me a longish time to get around to answering the ones I do answer.  Sometimes people just have a formidable backlog of correspondence, and some stuff gets lost in the text noise.  I really wouldn't take it too personally if somebody doesn't get back to you--sometimes there just isn't that much to say and nor is there that much time to say it.  Just my opinion, natch.



Lockit -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 5:19:48 PM)

frankieboy... an email to someone better not be a command performance!  Just because someone writes us does not mean we are required to write back.  People can call it rude or bitchy or whatever they want.. but I am telling you... some can write the sweetest lies... be manipulative or passive aggressive shit and expect an answer simply because they decided they wanted to communicate.... ever so sweet with rotton intent!  Not in my fucking world!

Now that was bitchy... sue me...



slvemike4u -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 7:04:55 PM)

A question if I might...why would any inteligent sub/slave type ( no offence intended towards those who have previously responded)respond to this thread.Is there much opportunity to impress the Dom/Domme types with a list of their supposed flaws.
PoliteSub,in my mind took the only acceptable route...that of court jester to Domina Royalty(by the way Polite,stop stealing my act)Any other reply might just leave a bad taste in a beautiful Dommes mouth.....not the best way to attract others.



WyldHrt -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 7:05:54 PM)

Honestly, I've found that, in most cases, it is better not to respond to emails if I'm not interested in the person (CM forum members are mostly an exception).
A few too many nasty responses to polite "no thanks" emails taught me that [8|].



slvemike4u -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 7:59:06 PM)

That has always baffled me....you write a Domme or Dom(sub or slave) a letter.They respond with some sort of thanks but no thanks .....
How in the hell have you become so invested in this process that you are moved to write a nasty poison pill of a letter.....I just don't get it...i have no trouble believing it happens....just don't understand why.



LAgirlsub -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 10:40:27 PM)

Allthatjazz - Exactly! This is something I'm already seeing and actually just experienced.

I need to update my list now...

--dommes who are not confident in themselves (call it their self-esteem issues) and from this they think they can dominant everyone and everything at every moment...I know I'm sounding extreme but I mean the personality type. I'll be more blunt - they are arrogant, controlling and domineering. Exactly the type of woman I want far away from me. In this context, I can imagine the worst types would be dangerous.

And I should ask any dommes reading this...Are you uncomfortable with an educated or strong sub who does take her own actions (such as stating her needs, desires and asking for them) instead of just waiting around for you to act? I am not challenging you for dominance by stating how I feel. I am not someone who is just going to think another person will just intuit my feelings/needs, esp. without even knowing me well. I can't believe this arrogance that I'm finding other then I think it's dommes who have their own self-esteem issues.



LAgirlsub -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 10:43:49 PM)

Oh my fellow Politesub...Do I look like an Au Par? (I so needed this kind of deep belly laugh...thanks).



LAgirlsub -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 11:00:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

[8|] ( adores LAgirlsub's posts)


Really? How did you know I needed to read something nice from a 'real' domme?

Oh literally - I mean this - I just received this email as if I'm too 'passionate' about wanting to voice verify before having too many emails (I'm trying to stop this bad pattern - you know, the definition of stupidity is to continue to do the same thing expecting different results). She literally is talking at me, not to me, creating drama where there was none and how it doesn't 'tickle her nipples' that I make any demands of her. Yes, I said I have needs and of one them now is if we're going to dialogue with the intention of meeting, I want to voice verify soon and not too long after just meet for the dreaded coffee. And she literally wrote me as if I'm this 'sub' person - she's the dominant after all - and how dare I make such demands of her.

It does mean my new course of action works. I weeded her out much more quickly. And the woman had the audacity to call me all sorts of things including negative. I get bummed, but I'm not negative. Shesh.

So the writer in me and the sub woman CatdeMedici, thanks big bunches. If it wasn't for all of you - I mean this - and this board, I would have run far away from these feelings. I'm still unsure if maybe I just want some kink in the bedroom - but I sure keep finding what I don't want.

Thanks really to all the good people on here who take the time to make this more of a community with real people.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 11:09:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

One thing I've noticed is that so many dommes seem to always want things their way.

It baffles me. I just can't relate to that.


rotflmao!!!  OMG Panda, you just kill me!  They're Dommes!  LOL



LadyPact -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 11:14:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub
And I should ask any dommes reading this...Are you uncomfortable with an educated or strong sub who does take her own actions (such as stating her needs, desires and asking for them) instead of just waiting around for you to act? I am not challenging you for dominance by stating how I feel. I am not someone who is just going to think another person will just intuit my feelings/needs, esp. without even knowing me well. I can't believe this arrogance that I'm finding other then I think it's dommes who have their own self-esteem issues.

I'll take a crack at this.

I'm not intimidated at all by subs who happen to be educated to a higher level than Me.  Strength in a sub has a great appeal to Me. 

As for taking their own actions, or asking for what they want, I'm not opposed to this.  However, I will say two things.

1.  It has to be done in the right way.  If you come to Me and ask if you can make a request, in a respectful manner, I will listen.  Even if you come and ask if you can speak freely, I'll listen.  Being a brat or demanding what should be a request, won't get you far.

2.  Understand that I absolutely have the right to deny a request as the person with the authority in the dynamic.


You're on the right track knowing that a Dominant is not a mind reader.  This is true of any person who is intimate in another's life.  Yet, as a Dominant, part of My responsibility is to evaluate needs and wants.  Further, I have to access wants, and know where they lie on the scale as far as importance.  Some wants carry great significance and others are frivolous.  It may be true that you want something.  It also may be very true that what you want isn't in your best interest.

Oddly enough, the line between confidence and arrogance can be something of a tightrope.  The balance has to be just right.  One can not lean too hard either way, or they wobble and fall.  Only when both are brought to the center, is there stability.

I hope this has answered your questions.



LAgirlsub -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 11:23:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

A question if I might...why would any inteligent sub/slave type ( no offence intended towards those who have previously responded)respond to this thread.Is there much opportunity to impress the Dom/Domme types with a list of their supposed flaws.
PoliteSub,in my mind took the only acceptable route...that of court jester to Domina Royalty(by the way Polite,stop stealing my act)Any other reply might just leave a bad taste in a beautiful Dommes mouth.....not the best way to attract others.


slvemike, on the positive CatdeMedici said she adores my posts (so maybe the good dommes can handle such a discussion  - smile)...but honestly if we're being serious, this baffles me.

Again and again, unless I don't truly understand this whole dom/sub thing - Why am I not a person first? Why such the extremes of this relationship dynamic? I might be out of line, trust me zero real experience to draw upon, but I don't 'live' some kind of (from my perspective - no offense to other subs - this is me) bizarro sub life 24/7 with anyone who speaks to me/meets me. In fact, I doubt I ever would.

If this sub (and I know sexual) feeling is a part of me, it's a part. It's not something on display and frankly, these very dominant women who display this nature in all these daily interactions would not likely even be friends of mine. I don't mean to exclude those strong women who just are who they are, but those like this email I just received who have the audacity to speak to me as if I have to act as subservient to them just because they are a domme.

If I can be fully honest, it really disgusts me. I want to be open to this, I want to try, but I'm so disgusted with being talked to this way. Sometimes it's immediate, sometimes it takes a few emails. I can just imagine if I were playing with such a woman - would she not care how I felt? Would she hurt me physically or emotionally? I'm becoming less sure about what I want to try given how many 'D types' act this way.

But...right here...these forums and the people here are the reason I keep thinking not every domme will lack self-esteem, will be domineering and controlling in our regular interactions. I guess I just have to keep working on how I weed those types out. I think voice verifying is a good first step to see if a) I'm talking to a woman and b) if they don't have such ridiculous rules regarding what a sub type can ask for. Anyone disagree?



sweetsub1957 -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 11:23:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub
And I should ask any dommes reading this...Are you uncomfortable with an educated or strong sub who does take her own actions (such as stating her needs, desires and asking for them) instead of just waiting around for you to act? I am not challenging you for dominance by stating how I feel. I am not someone who is just going to think another person will just intuit my feelings/needs, esp. without even knowing me well. I can't believe this arrogance that I'm finding other then I think it's dommes who have their own self-esteem issues.

I'll take a crack at this.

I'm not intimidated at all by subs who happen to be educated to a higher level than Me.  Strength in a sub has a great appeal to Me. 

As for taking their own actions, or asking for what they want, I'm not opposed to this.  However, I will say two things.

1.  It has to be done in the right way.  If you come to Me and ask if you can make a request, in a respectful manner, I will listen.  Even if you come and ask if you can speak freely, I'll listen.  Being a brat or demanding what should be a request, won't get you far.

2.  Understand that I absolutely have the right to deny a request as the person with the authority in the dynamic.


You're on the right track knowing that a Dominant is not a mind reader.  This is true of any person who is intimate in another's life.  Yet, as a Dominant, part of My responsibility is to evaluate needs and wants.  Further, I have to access wants, and know where they lie on the scale as far as importance.  Some wants carry great significance and others are frivolous.  It may be true that you want something.  It also may be very true that what you want isn't in your best interest.

Oddly enough, the line between confidence and arrogance can be something of a tightrope.  The balance has to be just right.  One can not lean too hard either way, or they wobble and fall.  Only when both are brought to the center, is there stability.

I hope this has answered your questions.



Yes, Lady Pact, i believe speaking to a Dominant must be done in a respectful manner.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
5.078125E-02