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RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 9:47:25 AM   
LafayetteLady


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4



Whenever I start to read debates where people are twisting repect around like this, it sort of irks the hell out of me.

Civil, Social and Business respect is not to be confused with interpersonal relationship respect. There is a difference between Civil (basic common coutsey) and actually TRUE or REAL respect for somebody. Just because I'm polite to somebody does not mean I actually fucking respect them. Just because another stranger is polite does not mean that they actually TRUELY respect me either.

What I am saying there is a BIG Difference between Polite Civil respectful manners and Actual True or Real Respect for somebody as a human being.



But this is exactly the kind of respect that the OP is talking about "Polite Civil respectful manners."  Being kind and courteous until given a reason not to be.  As far as the OPs post is concerned, he has done nothing to warrant being disrespectful.  Just because of his choices regarding being Gorean isn't enough to warrant such things.  There is no "true or real" respect afforded to someone just because they are a fellow human being.  But there certainly is "true and real" disrespect for a human being when they make a point of showing they are not worthy of even "polite Civil respectful manners."

The need to bash people for their opinions or questions is typically a need born out of issues within the basher. Bigots and racists bash others out of ignorance.  Others bash as a means to prove they are better than everyone else (apparently being too arrogant or ignorant to recognize that it has an opposite effect).  It isn't naive to WANT people to treat each other with common courtesy.  Certainly it is naive to expect it.  But there is never a reason to excuse that kind of behavior.  Screaming obsenities at others is never going to win someone points or make others see their point of view.  It simply shows a lack of maturity and class.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
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RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 9:51:52 AM   
IrishMist


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"Oh my, someone called me a bad name" wahwahwahwahwahwah
"What should I do, someone was disrespectful to me" wahwahwahwahwahwah

And then you have the ones who
"I deserve" respect, I deserve courtesy....blah blah blah wahwahwah

Whiners who have to go on a message board to complain that they are not getting respect or courtesy deserve nothing more than what they get.



_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 102
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 10:15:34 AM   
Kimveri


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Joined: 7/14/2007
From: Vegas
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~FR~

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
The basic decency with which MOST of us treat our fellow human beings was earned by the ability to walk upright and have opposable thumbs.  This isn't to say that people can't lose being treated decently by their actions, simply that the basic way to treat others is with the bare respect and politeness given to strangers.


IMO, there's a huge difference between courtesy (which is springs from your selfrespect) & respect. I tend to consider respect to be a response I have to the accumulated actions, views & statements of another.

They are not the same thing to me.

I treat strangers with courtesy, even those who can NOT "walk upright". (I assist disabled folks, who deserve courtesy too, even when they can't walk at all.) I do this not because they've earned it but because I will not reduce myself to the level of the uncouth & unreasonable.

I respect those who cause that response to grow within me through the consistency & conviction with which they live. I refuse to offer some pretense of that sort of real response to strangers as that is mightily insulting to those who have merited this response in me. That would be pretty rude to both the person whom I know well enough to respect AND to the stranger who is getting some facsimile of respect as a token.

As to the OP -- most folks over here have given you fabulous advice -- block, delete & move on. I lend my voice to theirs.

Well wishes,

~Kimveri




_____________________________

"You get what you accept."

"It is always wise to examine the facts from all angles before one renders a summary judgement."~_Marcus_

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 10:26:22 AM   
Kimveri


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G'morn,

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Yes, FREE Gorean women out number Gorean slave girls greatly. But let's not get into that, it might make GOR start to seem too Vanilla.


Thanks for the big smile. This is true & I cannot count how many people I've met who tell me, after a few hours....

"You two are so 'vanilla'....not Gorean at all!"

I have to laugh, since living a Gorean life has so little to do with "non-vanilla" things. ;-P

Well wishes,

~Kimveri

_____________________________

"You get what you accept."

"It is always wise to examine the facts from all angles before one renders a summary judgement."~_Marcus_

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 10:30:39 AM   
tazzygirl


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Common curtesy should be expected, in my opinion, especially from someone who relates to the submissive side of life. no, that doesnt mean being a doormat or kissing ass or demeaning yourself. Curtesy is easy to give.. a smile and a thank you or your welcome... stepping aside to let the little old lady onto the bus first... allowing the person behind you with only two items to go first before your own cart full

Respect, in my once again opinion, must be earned. maybe the line is different for people between the two.

Curtesy costs me nothing except maybe a moment or two of time. Respect costs me a great deal... trust.


_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 10:36:51 AM   
IrishMist


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<~off topic hijack

Miss Tazzy.....it's nice to see you back up and around...

<~~hijack over

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RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 10:40:46 AM   
tazzygirl


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~grins~

thanks irish!

we now return all you lovely people back to your scheduled.....

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 11:03:39 AM   
thishereboi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MarsBonfire

Sirloinsteak,

Thanks. You're proving my position far better than I ever could, with your shining example.


Only if your the type to judge the whole group by the individual.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to MarsBonfire)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 11:17:14 AM   
LafayetteLady


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From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

"Oh my, someone called me a bad name" wahwahwahwahwahwah
"What should I do, someone was disrespectful to me" wahwahwahwahwahwah

And then you have the ones who
"I deserve" respect, I deserve courtesy....blah blah blah wahwahwah

Whiners who have to go on a message board to complain that they are not getting respect or courtesy deserve nothing more than what they get.




To be clear, I'm not whining at all.  I'm stating an opinion.  One that is drastically different than yours.   I find it amusing that you seem to be unable to control your anger over the whole thing.  It's quite amusing actually.  Yes, I do believe that everyone "deserves" basic respect and courtesy until they show that they don't.  Whether it be on a message board or in real life.  I also believe that people who come onto a message board for seemingly the sole purpose of lashing out at others are the ones who truly have problems that they should deal with.  You apparently perceive me as "whining", I perceive you as someone who is lacking in social ettiquette and goes on a message board because in real life people wouldn't tolerate such behavior.  We are all entitled to our opinons.

But thank you for reminding me that not all people are basically good and kind.  I choose not to surround myself with people who are usually belligerent and perpetually angry.   Life is too short to deal with people like that on a regular basis.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 11:40:52 AM   
Kimveri


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Just so no one mistakes this for "factual Gorean information", I'm addressing this from the perspective of a woman who lives by this philosophy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRLOINSTEAK
Its commonly understood in GOR, that a woman who isn't in chains, is so weak that she truly wants to be in chains.


False: Goreans tend to think in terms of one's "truest place". IOW, a person in chains is there because it's an expression of their truest self, therefore it's their 'true place'. This applies to both genders, even though men are slightly more likely to fight chains (to the death) & women slightly more likely to endure them (staying alive).

quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRLOINSTEAK
Woman warriors are actually more prized slaves, I believe. higher value... ;/


There are no "women warriors" in the sense of 'cadres of accepted female soldiers'. There are groups of females who've removed themselves from the predominantly patriarchal culture, banded together for the strength that munbers provides, & learned to survive quite well in the wilderness. (Women have a fabulous ability to adapt themselves & cooperate for group success). Yes these females (aka: "Panthers" or "Talunas") are prized by slavers, but they are a bit more spirited than the average man might wish to tackle. (pun intended ;-D)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRLOINSTEAK
Now I grant you that GOR is barbaric, and this barbarism is glorified, not cast in a negative light....


Of the barbaric things mentioned in those books, ALL of them are things that actual humans have actually done to other actual humans in reality....prior to the writing of those books. There are also admonishments against some of the more horrific things that actual humans do to each other on a daily basis, often in the name of religion! (Now there's some "living based on fantasy" for ya!...but that's another topic, neh?)

I don't see dealing with the harsher realities of human behavior as "negative" at all. I do see the tendency to shove them under the rug as rather negative....dangerous....foolish....destructive....need I go on? :-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRLOINSTEAK
There are FREE WOMEN in GOR, but they must work hard to keep their FREEDOM, which is not that easy.......its a constant struggle...according to the author...


Are you suggesting that being free &/or having freedom is "easy" in reality?? I think that may be the biggest fallacy stated on this thread... o,O

quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRLOINSTEAK
Anyhows, this dude wrote many books, all out of print.....its certainly interesting......


False: these books are not "out-of-print". There are also more books in the works to be released. They can be found at fictionwise.com & amazon.com ...search "Gor" or "John Norman".

...& outside the realm of things Gorean....

quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRLOINSTEAK
Too often women are not practical or logical.....and a logical women will admit she isn't completely logical at all times or as much as a man is capable of, which cries out that a man should consider a woman's opinion, but ultimately his decision would be the logical course to follow because man is more logical.....


Have a care making generalities. Assumptions have an unflattering effect most times....

There's more than one sort of logic than the linear logic to which men are prone. As for practicality, I don't think it gets much more practical & pragmatic than "survival of the fittest". Considering that Darwin stated that "fittest" did not mean "brute force" but rather "adaptability" I would think it obvious that most women excel at this beyond the majority of men. ;-P

...& yes, to those who are wondering, I'm a Gorean, I live with a Gorean man, & neither of us feels that these views contradict or clash with Gorean philosophy.  :-D

Well wishes,

~Kimveri

_____________________________

"You get what you accept."

"It is always wise to examine the facts from all angles before one renders a summary judgement."~_Marcus_

(in reply to SIRLOINSTEAK)
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RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 11:55:18 AM   
IrishMist


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Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

But thank you for reminding me that not all people are basically good and kind.

LOL I never claimed to be kind or good. I am an equal opportunity basher

I do however, call them as I see them. And there is very little; in real life or on a message board; that will ever change that.

OH, and As an aside...I was not claiming that YOU were whining. Unless of course you see yourself as more than one seeing as how I used the plural.



_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 12:26:27 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarsBonfire

Sirloinsteak,

Thanks. You're proving my position far better than I ever could, with your shining example.


Only if your the type to judge the whole group by the individual.


Just be certain to be on your knees holding some Steak Sauce to show some true proper respect when emailing certain individuals.

I think some people are just asking to be disrespected by things they have on their profiles, like it's some hidden mental masochistic urge that needs to be fullfilled.

"No No No, but you don't understand I want to be disrespected, humilated, and treated like a worthless thing instead"... please will the love of god somebody disrespect and humilate me in email today. Where is my humilation email for the day, my world is going to hell without it. I want the world to hate me because it makes me feel better about myself. --- ummmmmm it appears some people just live to be disrespected so they can bask and wallow in it for hours on end, just like a pig in $h!T.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 1:44:31 PM   
GrizzlyBear


Posts: 278
Joined: 3/26/2004
From: Missoula Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loric

it was a message that came out of the blue...I don't know the person that sent it, and quite frankly don't wish to know her because she has somewhat of an attitude problem...strikes Me as the kind of woman that has to belittle others to make herself feel better in order to come off as Dominant...which, from My experience just makes you look bad to potential submissives/slaves


You nailed it there, bud.  Just another insecure Dom wannabee that can only build themselves up by dragging someone else down.  They are a dime a dozen here, and Gor has nothing to do with it.  Block and delete.


_____________________________

GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

(in reply to Loric)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 1:47:19 PM   
Antheia


Posts: 66
Joined: 2/11/2009
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Hello Grizzlybear, There are more than enough of those on both sides of the whip so only get my pity for how they are. Mind ya I am not perfect but who would want to be ??
How is your group going these days? Been a while since I checked it out.
A.

(in reply to GrizzlyBear)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 2:34:32 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Loric

Recently, I received a c-mail from someone belittling My way of life.  This has not caused Me to lose any sleep, nor has it caused Me to re-think My choices, in fact rather the opposite.  Now, I know that not everyone is Gorean, and that's fine...
Gor isn't for everyone, and I don't expect everyone to be Gorean.  However, for someone claiming to be Dominant to send a message to another Dominant that is blatantly disrespectful, in My mind just shows that the sender is insecure in Him/Herself.  I don't care what others think about My life choices, but I do expect to be given the basic respect that all living things deserve.  I believe that Gor is right for Me, it has called out to My soul in ways that even I don't as yet fully understand, but I am exploring them and learning more every day, both about Gor and about Myself.  What the whole point of this post is however is this...how many of My fellow Goreans, both Free and slave have been confronted in a similar manner, and what if anything have you done about it?  I'd enjoy hearing from everyone on this subject...even those of you who aren't Gorean...I'm open to listening to the thoughts and ideas of others, even if I don't agree with them.

Loric

Loric,

I agree with the others who have said (1) block and get over it, that (2) Goreans are too busy living to worry about trivial things like this, (3) you may well have been pulled up short (or ignored) on the Gorean board, and (4) most people's "knowledge" of Gor is from online role-players and a few chest-beating idiots.

Loric, from your post, you are apparently relatively recent to Gor, and from your question, you certainly are new to living as such. Leave the victim stuff behind, and be who you are, whatever that may be. You'll be happier.

I wish you well,

Tim

(in reply to Loric)
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RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 2:50:06 PM   
MarsBonfire


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One thing I think we CAN conclude, looking over this thread... Gor is a highly divisive topic.

The other thing is, I would love to see one of these so-called "Gorean Masters" tossed into a room with a Domme like Midori, or Cleo DuBois... and we'd see just how "naturally superior" they really were. (I'd be willing to put my money on the guys kissing the ladies' shoes within ten minutes.)

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 3:06:37 PM   
Musicmystery


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Hello Mars,

If living according to one's nature is highly divisive, then Taoism must really be a wedge issue.

It's unfortunate that people's misconceptions and other's misrepresentations have come to be seen as "Gorean."

Live well,

Tim



(in reply to MarsBonfire)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 3:26:19 PM   
MarsBonfire


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Musicmystery,

Quite right! There have been several attempted purges of Taoisim in ancient China. Tens of thousands have died for it. But it was kept alive because it was worth something.  There's a little bit about it's history in Ben Hoff's excellent "Tao of Pooh."

I tend to agree with you on the misconceptions and misrepresentations. Perhaps it would be easier if Goreans somehow agreed on a definition of what Gor really is? I mean, all I keep hearing is "read the books" and you know what? I've sloughed through four of them so far, and all I've found is third rate writing. Seriously, Norman needed an editor in the worst way! The other thing I keep hearing is that "Gor is made up of all these other bits of philosophy from other ancient sources." Poppycock and balderdash, I say! If ANYONE has a link to a real essay that outlines what these sources were, I'll happily read it. As far as I can tell, it doesn't exist.

At least Trekkies know what the fucking prime directive is, or what IDIC stands for.
Scientologists (at least the ones who paid their way up the ladder) know who Xenu is.(Or at least they watch South Park)
Most christians have a basic understanding of the parables of Jesus, and a list of commandments to go by.

But I've yet to meet any two groups of Goreans who will sit and discuss WHAT GOR IS, without disagreement on the basics.

Gor is the "Royal Nonesuch" of what prentends to be philosophies. Frankly, until they can get their act together on this, until these blind men can come to a consensus about what the elephant actually is, I see no reason to give them any credibility. As it stands, Gor is less a working philosophical stance, than it is an excuse for acting like a holier-than-thou asshole to people who frankly are better than they, either due to their experience level, or history.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 4:31:51 PM   
Musicmystery


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Hello again Mars,

A misunderstanding of philosophy seems at work here. For example, while indeed Hoff's "Tao of Pooh" is an excellent book, anyone claiming a strong understanding of Taoism from this work alone would be met with polite, patronizing smiles. And, as indeed Gorean ideas come from the Gor books, reading them is a prerequisite for anyone to be taken seriously on the subject. Granted, the writing is atrocious, even for an academic, but as Marianne Moore explains regarding poetic form, "I too, dislike it...reading it, however,...one discovers that there is in it after all, a place for the genuine...these things are important not because a high sounding interpretation can be put upon them but because they are useful." And naturally, "the same thing may be said for all of us, that we do not admire what we cannot understand."

Certainly even a casual reading would showcase much drawn from Plato and Nietzsche, as well as a wealth of historical and cultural contexts. Norman is taking a close look at the attitudes and assumptions active in our society, certainly those involving gender roles, but also the impact of technology, the loss of identity with our primal natures, and our place as part of the ecosystem of a planet. Many have misstated this as "natural order" and the typical Christian view of superiority over nature along with misconceptions about Darwinian selection. Norman, instead, uses the term "order of nature," which indeed nature has--and man is not at the top of the chain.

Philosophy is not a set of conclusions, but rather a thought process. This is why philosophy continues, instead of just publishing the answers in The Big Book of Philosophy. The Trekkie and Scientology examples used are gilb--Goreans know what Priest-Kings are (recognize the concept from Plato? The Philosopher-Kings?), for example. The Christian example is misplaced--certainly Christians argue all the time over what Christianity is and/or should be. That's why all the different denominations (which don't even have the same ten commandments in the same wording or order), and that's why people in the same denominations don't always see eye to eye. But they do have a consensus, as do Goreans, as you can see from the Gorean boards, on central principles. Certainly not "disagreements on the basics."

Your last paragraph is just a rant. No, Gor has nothing to do with feeling superior to others. And yes, it attracts some "holier-than-thou assholes," as does Scientology, Christianity, BDSM--indeed, any collection of people. And certainly within any community, disagreement and debate and discussion are both inevitable and even useful. Hell, I've seen knock-down drag-out fights among BDSMers over what the acronym BDSM stands for. That doesn't mean I would dismiss all of BDSM as a group of people who need to "get their act together on this" to achieve credibility. It just means people disagree.

And people will often latch onto a simple answer, even a wrong or incomplete one, if it allows them to escape real thinking and analysis with an easy dismissal of differing views. That's how flawed cultural attitudes and assumptions become institutionalized in a society, and that's why Norman and others have plenty of room and reason to step back and reexamine.

Live well.




< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 5/9/2009 5:00:36 PM >

(in reply to MarsBonfire)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/9/2009 5:25:25 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarsBonfire

Musicmystery,

Quite right! There have been several attempted purges of Taoisim in ancient China. Tens of thousands have died for it. But it was kept alive because it was worth something. There's a little bit about it's history in Ben Hoff's excellent "Tao of Pooh."

I tend to agree with you on the misconceptions and misrepresentations. Perhaps it would be easier if Goreans somehow agreed on a definition of what Gor really is? I mean, all I keep hearing is "read the books" and you know what? I've sloughed through four of them so far, and all I've found is third rate writing. Seriously, Norman needed an editor in the worst way! The other thing I keep hearing is that "Gor is made up of all these other bits of philosophy from other ancient sources." Poppycock and balderdash, I say! If ANYONE has a link to a real essay that outlines what these sources were, I'll happily read it. As far as I can tell, it doesn't exist.

At least Trekkies know what the fucking prime directive is, or what IDIC stands for.
Scientologists (at least the ones who paid their way up the ladder) know who Xenu is.(Or at least they watch South Park)
Most christians have a basic understanding of the parables of Jesus, and a list of commandments to go by.

But I've yet to meet any two groups of Goreans who will sit and discuss WHAT GOR IS, without disagreement on the basics.

Gor is the "Royal Nonesuch" of what prentends to be philosophies. Frankly, until they can get their act together on this, until these blind men can come to a consensus about what the elephant actually is, I see no reason to give them any credibility. As it stands, Gor is less a working philosophical stance, than it is an excuse for acting like a holier-than-thou asshole to people who frankly are better than they, either due to their experience level, or history.



just because you have not met them, doesnt mean they dont exist. question for you, though. why should you be spoon fed what others have learned through work?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarsBonfire

One thing I think we CAN conclude, looking over this thread... Gor is a highly divisive topic.

The other thing is, I would love to see one of these so-called "Gorean Masters" tossed into a room with a Domme like Midori, or Cleo DuBois... and we'd see just how "naturally superior" they really were. (I'd be willing to put my money on the guys kissing the ladies' shoes within ten minutes.)


while this may be your fantasy, its not the fantasy of all men. some men are actually strong enough in their beliefs and convictions to be able to stand up to women who make you drool and long to lick their boots. to each their own. you flick through a few books, read a few web sites, and POW! your an expert. must be nice to be born with the ability to understand ALL walks of life!

or maybe its just that its beyond your desire to understand a world that wouldnt accept you the way you are, so, therefore, you lash out like a child unable and UNWILLING to try and understand.

i dont get submissive men, on any level. i like many submissive males, have quite a few as close, personal friends, but the thought of touching most makes my skin crawl. that doesnt mean i lable them as poppycock or hogwash. their way just isnt my way.

just like two christians from different branches of religion, they would agree on many things within the bible, and disagree on the interpretations of such. instead, its easier to put others down. easier to not read and try to gain a small understanding. its just easier to be lazy.



_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to MarsBonfire)
Profile   Post #: 120
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